Aging Is Like Puberty, And About As Much Fun

Happy Canada Day to all our Northern Neighbors!          

 

 

 

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I had my annual checkup with my NP recently, and discovered once again almost every physical change or symptom I experience is something "you can expect as you get older." (Did I mention my NP is literally young enough to be my son? Of course he is. Medical practitioners my age are frickin' retiring.)

Trouble with insomnia? "You can expect that as you get older." Bouts of vertigo when I lie down and get up?  "You can expect that as you get older."Acid indigestion? "You can expect that as you get older." I expect if I told him I was growing a second head, I'd find out that, too, is just one of those things that happen as you... you know the drill.

I've been thinking about the last time my body ran away with me - puberty - and decided the physical process of maturing has a lot of similarities with what happens as we age, except that after puberty we get to drink and have sex, while after completing aging... again, you know the drill.

Puberty: I am horrified to find the skin on my face, to which I had never given any thought other than to make sure it was washed, is embarrassing and betraying my by breaking out in zits.

Aging:  I am horrified to find the skin on my face, which I have been lavishing with elaborate and expensive serums, moisturizers and sun screens, has creases that don't iron out and has broken out in solar lentigines, AKA liver spots. 

Puberty: Oh, no, my boobs are getting as big as my grandmother's!

Aging: Oh, no, my bunions are getting as big as my grandmother's!

Puberty: I wake up once a month wracked with cramps. (My first time, when I come downstairs complaining, my mother dances around the kitchen singing, I Enjoy Being A Girl.) 

Aging: I wake up once a month wracked with cramps. I have dared to eat a little too much of whatever food substance my body's decided is verboten right now. Sadly, no on sings and dances in the kitchen.

Puberty: I worry a lot about nuclear war.

Aging: I worry a lot about nuclear war.

Puberty: My joints ache as they strain to keep up with my bones growing three inches in height annually for three years.

Aging: My joints ache from arthritis. Oh, and I've lost three inches in height! What the hell, bones?!?

Puberty: I experience a mix of panic and excitement with I think about cute boys in my middle school.

Aging: I experience a mix of panic and excitement when I think about the balance in my stock and bond portfolio.  

Puberty: Whenever I'm feeling scared or misunderstood or overwhelmed, I escape into books. My fictional friends always make me feel better.

 

Aging: Me too, 14-year-old Julie. Me, too. 

 

 Dear readers, what is your time of life akin to?

Face of Flying

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: This is going to be an extremely female-oriented topic, so I apologize in advance to our many male readers. As anyone can tell after hanging around here for even a short period of time, the Reds are travelers.  I probably fly the least of anyone - not having had a book out in mumble mumble years, and I still easily average four or five round trip flights annually, between conferences and family visits. 

In the past several years, travel has come to intersect with my increasing, shall we say, dedication to skin care. I was blessed with good genes, and didn’t have to bother with much more than scrubbing away make-up and slapping on sunscreen - and even that wasn’t until moisturizers with SPF became common in the early 90s. (I remember getting my first 30 SPF face cream as a gift from a friend - they were expensive back then!)

However, time marches on, and I’ve discovered that since menopause, my face has a tendency to resemble ancient animal skin parchment unless fed a steady diet of retinol, vitamin C, Niacinamide, moisturizer, etc., etc. And flying tends to exacerbate every issue, right? First off, it’s stressful. Crowds, security, standing in line for Starbucks, wrestling your luggage into the bathroom stall. If you’re on business or book tour, you inevitable have to get up at 5am after a not-so-great night’s sleep. Maybe you’re wearing a mask because who knows what germs are traveling alongside you? Then it’s two or four or six hours in a tube with a humidity level as low as 10%. The average humidity level in the Atacama Desert of Chile, widely considered the driest place on earth? 15-40%. Uh huh.

So I’m trying to follow the suggestions of flight attendants I’ve read. Drink two bottles of water per hour of flight time? That’s easy, especially with a collapsible travel bottle. Mist your face? Okay. Go without makeup? That’s a no from me, especially when traveling on business. Avoid alcohol? No problem, I don’t like to drink on flights anyway. Avoid caffeine? Oooo. That’s going to be a REAL hard one for me.

I did like the idea of thoroughly washing your face and putting on a fifteen minute mask (or masque) once you’ve reached your hotel. I LOVE those Korean face masks.

How about you, Reds? What’s your go-to skin care when traveling, generally, or flying specifically? 

RHYS BOWEN:  Flying without makeup, especially when I’m on book tour and I’m going to be met by a driver then at a fancy hotel? Not going to happen. I do drink water but not so much that I’m up and down to the bathroom. I mist my face. But I also accept that welcome Prosecco when I board. I like to relax. 

As for the perfect skin care routine, my skin has become so sensitive recently that most products aggravate it. So it’s the most simple moisturizer and occasional mask. I have been given lovely sets of Lancôme and Clinique but hardly dare to use them

HALLIE EPHRON: “Welcome Prosecco”??? What? Where? How did I miss that?? 

My “skin care routine” is usually one step, flying or not: I wash my face once a day. When it’s super dry inside I use a moisturizer because it feels good. Vaseline on my lips. Sun block if I’m going to be in the sun. 

Beyond that, my go-to skin-care solution involves trying not to look in the mirror. Time marches. 

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I use Dove sensitive skin soap, morning and night, without fail,  and sometimes a bare trace of Vaseline for moisturizer on my eyelids and face if it’s a little dry. I have not put a mask on my face in my entire life. My face has not been in the sun without massive sunscreen for 30 years. No makeup on the plane? Ah.Yikes. Nope. Not unless I am on the way home and no one will see me. (And wearing a mask is such a boon in those circumstances.)

I rarely drink on a plane, but will never (crossing fingers) give up caffeine. (Except I will not drink airplane coffee. Yuck.) And in hotels,  I try to sleep on my back so the decoratively piped hotel pillows don’t leave welts on my face. (And I burst out laughing about wrestling the luggage into the bathroom stall. EVERY time. My suitcase is like..one  impossible inch too big.)

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Weirdly, I never thought too much about my face being dry on planes. It’s my eyes, the inside of my nose, and my lips that really suffer. Lots of dry-eye drops, and lip balm, always. I wear my usual make-up, a tinted moisturizer. 

Should I admit that I don’t normally wash my face? I have to use a foaming eye cleanser morning and night, so my face gets warm water then, and if I’ve worn more makeup than usual I’ll take it off with a bit of that. I also use loads of Clinque humectant face care stuff; a spray mist, a gel moisturizer, and either a sunscreen moisturizer or a night one, all in layers. Absolutely no soap!

I cannot imagine how anyone can drink two bottles of water per hour on a flight unless they intend to barricade themselves in the plane toilet for the duration!

 

LUCY BURDETTE: I don’t think too much about skin and planes either, though I don’t drink alcohol or caffeine while flying and do try to hydrate. Skin care: I use an enzyme wash, then Olay with SPF 30 in the morning and my favorite Alaskan lavender skin moisturizer at night (Alpenglow.) I bought some of that at a farmer’s market in Homer, AK years ago and have been ordering it ever since. I’m very lazy about makeup, but if someone would tell me how to remove mascara efficiently, I promise I’ll try harder!

JENN McKINLAY: I’m like Debs - it’s my lips, nose, and eyes that get dry when I fly. So, Aquaphor (a Beiersdorf product) as lip balm, for sure. It’s like Vaseline but has a healing agent in it. Saline nasal spray and eye drops as needed (my seatmates love me - lol). I do drink water and airplane coffee but no alcohol. I don’t wear makeup except for mascara when I travel, and for my skin I apply Eucerin Q10 (another Beiersdorf product) which is my daily moisturizer. Overall, I’m pretty low maintenance. 

 
JULIA: How about you, dear readers? Any go-to tips for putting your best face forward? Or, if that's not your thing, share what you use to make travel more comfortable for you.

 

Photo of woman in plane by Pexels (freerangestock.com)