Sunday, December 12, 2010

All I Want For Christmas is.....



Last month I was speaking at a big fundraising event in Dallas. These were seriously rich women. They all knew Dubya and Laura on first name basis and naturally I was driven past the Neiman Marcus flagship store on my tour of the city. And our conversation turned to their outlandish Christmas catalog full of the ultimate wish list items.

Which got me thinking about my ultimate wish list.
So let's see:
I'd start quite humbly with a shower that dried me all over with gentle hot air instead of stepping out and reaching for a towel.
And a personal masseur would be nice. On call 24/7
Oh, and a private jet able to bypass security gropes.
And my own Carribean island.
But why not think big. It is, after all, an ultimate wish list:
how about a secure, well-designed time machine, able to take me back to places I write about?
Or my number one fantasy wish: Peace on Earth.
Not sure how to accomplish this, other than eliminating poverty, greed and religious fanaticism.
Maybe a ray coming from a satellite that sends down happy beams over the Earth? I hope someone is working on it.

All right, let's hear your wish list.

JAN: I sure like that time machine idea and am stealing it for my wish list.
And as long as this is fantasy, I'd like to have 20 year old muscles, speed and ligaments (just think what that would do for my tennis game).
And heck, 20 year old skin and hair while I'm at it.
I'd like all celebrity magazines and blogs to disappear and have the world focus on things that matter.
Like feeding people, and poverty prevention.
I wish that for once awful things wouldn't happen to Haiti and they get a functional non-corrupt government that could change the economy and the lives of the people who live there.
I wish the pope would say he was wrong after all (fallible) and address the priest shortage by hey, ORDAINING WOMEN.
Better than that, I wish for the next pope to BE A WOMAN

RHYS: Yeah, sister!

HALLIE: Magic bookshelves that take up no more space but hold 5 times the books. Please, can I have that??
Uh, an Academy Award, I don't care for what.
I'm with Jan on the 20-year-old's muscles and stamina.
Oh, and I wish I could still wear really high heels.

ROBERTA: I'd like to go back to college and major in Creative writing rather than beer:). And yes I'd sure like the young strong body and maybe a fabulous mezzo-soprano singing voice instead of my leaning alto. And a bestseller with a couple of awards attached. But all that aside, I'm awfully lucky just the way things are, so maybe a few more books. Always more books, and not ebooks either!

Other than that, the peace on earth would be far and away the best of all.

HANK: Yes, to be able to sing, that would be fun. Oh, Hallie, you take the Oscar, I'l take a very nice Edgar for my (please-oh-please) best-seller. Yes, no wrinkles, that would be terrific.

Good health. Yes, and health care for everyone. I mean everyone, and that hospitals wouldn't charge insurance companies so outrageously so that everything costs SO MUCH and it's all phony.

All the US troops HOME from Iraq and Afghanistan. I'm just saying. Everyone. Come on home. Safe travels.

And then we wouldn't need Roberta's happy-beam ray. Although that would be fun to see.

ROSEMARY: Well..there's quite a range. For someone who thinks she has too much stuff, I do seem to come home with shopping bags every once in a while.
I'd like the perfect frittata pan. And a big comfy chair in my office. And eyeglasses that I still like a month after I buy them.

On the non-stuff front...I'd like to write a bestseller. I wish my husband and my dog would live forever. (I suppose I should change the order of these wishes!)

I wish the library that my husband and I started in Tanzania is still there long after we're gone and fifty years from now someone buys one of my books at a tag sale and thinks "this was pretty good!"

But I'd swap it all for world peace.

Rhys: what an amazing group of women we are! And we all have such similar desires. I'd like that mega-bestseller too, and in Edgar, and an Oscar, if the Royal Spyness movie ever gets made. (I'm writing this with Dragon software because I have a broken wrist, and I said Royal Spyness and it gave me Royal spiders! Watch out for that as my next title)
oh and I'd like a glorious singing voice too. But actually I'm quite content. I don't lust after a giant screen TV or a rock sized diamond or even of Ferrari.
So how about you--what is on your ultimate Christmas list?

10 comments:

Hank Phillippi Ryan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hank Phillippi Ryan said...

I love the tags at the end of this blog today-what are they? If I remember: Edgar awards, oscars, private jet, world peace. Exactly.

Rosemary Harris said...

Oh, that's great...I didn't even notice. Yup - that about sums it up!

Sheila Connolly said...

An Irish cottage--and enough money to bail out the Irish economy. Ireland deserves a break.

How about letting women run the world for a while? I'll bet there'd be fewer wars, balanced budgets, and better health and child care.

Hallie Ephron said...

You know, Sheila, a few years ago I'd have said that, but no longer. But let's not go there.

I'd would like politicians with the capacity to understand and respect another person's viewpoint and who engage in meaningful debate.

Ramona said...

My wants are few: a robot maid; a house on the beach, kept tidy by the robot maid; and world peace.

Rhys Bowen said...

Ah yes, politicians. I would like politicians who were concerned with the good of the whole rather than furthering their own nests. I would like a whole Congress , full of intelligent altruistic people. See I told you it was the ultimate wish list

MaxWriter said...

I'd like several grandchildren living within an hour's drive before I get too old to play with and spoil them.

An agent and a contract would be lovely (Guppies have to start somewhere...).

Lots of beach vacations.

Peace among us, justice for all, food and education for all the children. And Hallie, I hope you get that Oscar - it would never occur to me to put that on a list!

Edith

Jan Brogan said...

Love the Robot Maid idea.

Maybe she cleans at Irish cottages by the sea?

Pat Marinelli said...

I wish for a computer that reads my mind and then writes the story into a file. One that does this while I sleep, cook, clean, drive, etc.

Love the 20 year old hair and body idea.

I'd wish world peace and good health for all. May all your wishes come true.