Thursday, December 16, 2010
My Life As A One Handed Person
RHYS: 10 days ago, I tripped over a concrete berm in a dark parking lot and broke my wrist. I now sport a bright red cast in honor of the season and with its white lining, it looks like a mini Santa Claus on my hand. In many ways, I was lucky, it was a clean break, no shattered bone no pins needed, but I've come to realize that life for a one-handed person is not easy.
I can't even dress myself. I can't zip up my pants, and worse still, I can't unzip them in a hurry when I need to go to the restroom. I can't do up my bra. I am limited to those items that have wide enough sleeves to go over my cast. I can't cut up most of my own food, I can't open most jars and bottles. It was a complete revelation to me and I thank God that I have a husband who can do those things for me, however much he grouches about it. I wonder how a person would survive living alone. One would have to, of course. I've already learned quite a few tricks, like holding the wine bottle between my knees, while turning the cork-- obviously the most important things first. I'm learning to drive with one hand, although this is hairy at times, especially when I need to turn the wheel while changing gear.
Most frustrating of all, I can't type. Since I get at least 100 e-mails every day, this is obviously annoying. And so on the advice of friends, I invested in Dragon software. It took a long frustrating morning to load it. But now that it's loaded it's actually pretty good. There are some words it gets wrong, of course. It typed air to the thrown, instead of heir to the throne. When I wanted her Royal Spyness , it gave me Her Royal spiders. And while I was writing this, it gave me wide enough sleaze instead of wide enough sleeves. I may get a good future book title out of this if I use it for long enough.
I think I may continue to use it for my e-mails, but I can't see myself writing a book with it. It's too disruptive to my train of thought to have it type the wrong word or give me the wrong punctuation.
There are a few perks to my cast and my broken arm. People are very kind and solicitous. Friends offer to drive me or to come over and help me wrap presents. John spent a long time today, dressing crab and taking it out of the clause for me to eat. (I left the spelling error, so you can see what I'm dealing with!) His small perk for all this work is that he gets to put on and take off my bra!
So if you notice any error in my writing or spelling, within the next few weeks, I'm blaming it on the software . And if you see a person with a bright red cast going through the airport is likely to be me.