Cover Story

How much does a cover matter to you?
I'm thinking about this because I have  anew Molly Murphy book coming out next Tuesday and I had to request some cover changes. The first cover had Molly wearing a cloche hat and a low slung belt, looking very Twenties instead of 1905. When I brought this to my editor's attention the artist said that he had a picture of that very hat in Paris 1905. So they were always ahead of the times in Paris, but it still looked 1920.

So the hat was changed, the belt was removed and Rhys was a happy camper. But it reminded me how important it is that the cover gets the flavor, the time, and the type of book just right. The reader is seriously miffed if the cover promises one type of book and she gets another. This happened to me once, many years ago when I wrote historical romances. At least I didn't think the first one as a historical romance. I thought it was a historical novel (with a touch of romance). But it came out with a cover with the blouse hanging off one shoulder, red hair cascading down her back and Fabio standing behind her. Doomed. No man would ever read it and the women readers would be disappointed because the romance wasn't the driving story.

I've just spoken at the San Francisco Writer's conference and Mark Coker of Smashwords spoke on the importance of cover when selling an e-book. The words have to be big enough to read in thumbnail. You can't make it too light or it blends into the white page and it has to shout out what kind of book it is. Not easy for something that appears about an inch big on Amazon.

But his rules are true for all of us. Name and title big enough to read across the room, appealing colors and must shout out what kind of book it is.

I ran a poll recently on my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/rhysbowenauthor) about the importance of cover and quite a few people said "That's how I found your books." Almost everyone agreed that the cover first drew them, then they read the blurb on the back and maybe the first page or so.  I think Hank's The Other Woman illustrates just perfectly all the points made above: great design. Says exactly what kind of book it is. Words big enough to read.

While Lucy's promises the kind of cozy fun we're going to get.

My Constable Evans books had covers much cozier than the books. Every one had some kind of farm animal on it and I once announced that I had won the Old Macdonald award. Everyone clapped until I said "for the most farm animals on covers." But I think in my case the cover put off some serious mystery readers.

And now the trend for big names is to have just name and title huge on cover and not much else. Look at Deb's upcoming book

Or Louise Penny's.

So what do you like? Do you want a picture on the cover, showing you what sort of book it is? Does the cover draw you to buy a book? Have you ever been misled by a cover and disappointed that the book did not live up to the image?

Good news, fabulous awards, and TWO irresistible contests!

Deborah Crombie: Lots of news this week! Yesterday, you heard about my daughter’s engagement, and Rhys’s son… (not to each other!) and thank you for all your advice. More Jungle Red news this week, the paperback of Red Hank’s much-lauded (Mary Higgins Clark winner! Anthony, Agatha, Daphne and Shamus nominee!) THE OTHER WOMAN is out!

 Hank: Thank you Debs! Yes, and you know one of the Red’s credos is “celebrate everything.” This is such a big one for me…I am so thrilled I am brazenly telling everyone about it. (Funny about paperbacks…you get to make changes from the hardcover if you want...I made ONE. But I’m not telling what it is. If you discover it, Reds, okay then, you’ll get a prize. But really—it’s no biggie.) 

Debs: Speaking of prizes… 

 Hank: Well, yeah. To celebrate summer reading, I couldn’t resist coming up with some irresistible (!) contests not only for the arrival of THE OTHER WOMAN in paperback, but the brand new THE WRONG GIRL, which is coming out in hardcover this fall! So here’s the scoop…and then see below for one more contest—just for you, Reds readers!


Did we mention:n
THE OTHER WOMAN—now in paperback
Good news, fabulous awards, and TWO irresistible contests!



    
GOOD NEWS
The paperback version of THE OTHER WOMAN is here! But wait, there's more—it includes the first three chapters of THE WRONG GIRL. (Tess Gerritsen says: "Riveting!" And Linwood Barclay says: THE WRONG GIRL has all the right stuff!") Keep reading for the irresistible contests!
    
FABULOUS AWARDS
Yes, this is the iconic Mary Higgins Clark—she presented THE OTHER WOMAN and me with the incredibly prestigious MHC award during Edgar Week.

THE OTHER WOMAN is also an Anthony, Agatha, Shamus and Daphne nominee—the only book to be nominated for all four.

    
IRRESISTIBLE CONTEST NUMBER ONE! Just send me proof you bought THE OTHER WOMAN in paperback...and you'll be entered to win your choice of a Kindle Paperwhite, a Nook Simpletouch, or a $100 gift certificate to the bookstore of your choice! (Oh, okay, three winners!) And hey, if you already have the hard cover of THE OTHER WOMAN, you could use your paperback for the beach or vacation or a gift for a friend.
ORDER THE OTHER WOMAN:
   

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#HANKONTOUR!
Hope to see you this summer and fall—watch for Facebook and Twitter invitations to meet me and THE OTHER WOMAN and THE WRONG GIRL at a bookstore or library near you.
Check the entire schedule here.

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SAVE THE DATE
And mark your calendars—save the date September 10! That's when THE WRONG GIRL goes public at Brookline Booksmith! Come celebrate with delicious treats and special loot. Hope to see you there.

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WATCH THIS
Here's a fun video from BookBliss taped at BEA—with all the scoop on THE WRONG GIRL.

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IRRESISTIBLE CONTEST NUMBER TWO!
Can you pre-order THE WRONG GIRL right now? Well, of course! And proof of pre-order (print book or Macmillan audiobook version) enters you in a very special drawing—to have a character named after you in the next Jane Ryland adventure! (Told you it was irresistible!) It's a fun (and legal) way to put yourself in the middle of a murder mystery.
ORDER THE WRONG GIRL:
   

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Debs: Thanks, Hank.   Sounds terrific...and we wish you all the best.

Hank: Aw. Thank you. 

Debs:  So you said: one more contest?

Hank: Yes, indeed! One lucky Reds commenter will win an ARC of THE WRONG GIRL!  So let’s see--tell us:  are you taking any wonderful vacations his summer? Or happily staying home? 

And thank you again, dear Reds, for everything…

Welcome back Deadly Ink!

ROSEMARY HARRIS: This summer mystery lovers in the tri-state area welcome the return of the Deadly Ink Mystery Conference. And the guest of honor is none other than our own Hank Phillippi Ryan!

For the three people on the planet who don't know Hank - and just to remind the rest of us of her rather amazing c.v., Hank is the author of the Charlotte McNally mystery series—Prime Time, Face Time, Air Time and Drive Time. She's been nominated for or won just about every major award in the mystery community -  Anthony, Macavity, Agatha, Mary Higgins Clark - and she's just been nominated for a Shamus Award for her most recent novel, The Other Woman (which a little bird tells me is coming out in paperback next week).  

And - oh yeah - she has a full-time job and a wall full of Emmys! With any luck, she'll tell us about her brand new book, The Wrong  Girl. Which - ahem - is available for pre-order on Amazon right now http://www.amazon.com/Wrong-Girl-Hank-Phillippi-Ryan/dp/0765332582

The big fun for me is that I will be Toastmaster - so I'll get to make jokes and heckle while Hank does all the heavy lifting.

This year’s conference kicks off with a full day of Deadly Ink Writer’s Academy classes for aspiring writers, on Friday, Aug. 2. Hank will present Writing Your Mystery—All You Need to Know Before You Start. I will teach Characters and Setting, followed by Jane Cleland with Red Herrings. Classes wind up with The Top 10 Reasons Your Novel is Rejected, by author and agent Lois Winston. Official registration for the conference takes place  Friday night  6-7 p.m., followed by a welcoming program and a Deadly Dessert Party.

Both Saturday and Sunday feature and presentations by 30 authors and other mystery and crime experts including good pals Donald and Renee Bain, authors of - among many books - the Murder She Wrote series.

At lunch on Saturday,  I'll interview (heckle) Hank about her career and other notable authors on hand will briefly discuss their latest books. Saturday night features a Gala Awards Dinner with a keynote address by Hank.  Signings will be held throughout the weekend. Bob Daniher is the Offical Fan Guest of Honor.

When and where? -  August 2-4 at the Hyatt Regency, 2 Albany St., New Brunswick, NJ.  New Brunswick is just a short train ride from Manhattan - good news for those of us who might not want to drive.

More information and a registration form can be found at the web site, www.deadlyink.org.  Hope to see some of you there!

 

 

Gone with the What?

RHYS BOWEN:
Would you expect a book called All's Well That Ends Well to be a light drawing room comedy or a sweeping international saga? Answer: the latter, if rumor is correct. That was the first title that Tolstoy chose for what became War and Peace.

Would The Strike have been as striking as Atlas Shrugged for Ayn Rand? Or Fiesta instead of The Sun Also Rises for Hemingway? How about First Impressions instead of Pride and Prejudice or Tomorrow is Another Day instead of Gone with the Wind?

These were all original titles for great works and it's reassuring to note that even the great ones had troubles with their titles. I can appreciate that now as I'm in mid title debate for the Molly Murphy book I am currently writing. It takes place in Paris and has to do with the end of Impressionism and the birth of modern art. So my working title had been Lasting Impressions. My editor felt this didn't have the edge necessary for a mystery novel. My agent desperately wanted the word Paris to feature in the title.

So I put it to my Facebook friends, and they went to town with it. There were some serious suggestions but they became more and more hilarious. My favorites were "Plastered in Paris", Monet isn't Everything" (but it's sad Toulouse) "An eye-full in Paris" or "Louvre and Let Die", "Bone jour" I could go on.

You'll be pleased to know we settled on none of the above. We've moer or less chosen City of Darkness and Light. What do you think?

Titles are so important, aren't they? How many times have you picked up a book because the title intrigued you? In this world of super-stores, airports and Amazons sometimes the title and front cover are all we have to sell the book. I love Red Deb's titles, especially the latest THE SOUND OF BROKEN GLASS.  It's intriguing because it isn't the sound of breaking glass. It's already broken. So can it make a sound?RHYS BOWEN:
Would you expect a book called All's Well That Ends Well to be a light drawing room comedy or a sweeping international saga? Answer: the latter, if rumor is correct. That was the first title that Tolstoy chose for what became War and Peace.

Would The Strike have been as striking as Atlas Shrugged for Ayn Rand? Or Fiesta instead of The Sun Also Rises for Hemingway? How about First Impressions instead of Pride and Prejudice or Tomorrow is Another Day instead of Gone with the Wind?

These were all original titles for great works and it's reassuring to note that even the great ones had troubles with their titles. I can appreciate that now as I'm in mid title debate for the Molly Murphy book I am currently writing. It takes place in Paris and has to do with the end of Impressionism and the birth of modern art. So my working title had been Lasting Impressions. My editor felt this didn't have the edge necessary for a mystery novel. My agent desperately wanted the word Paris to feature in the title.

So I put it to my Facebook friends, and they went to town with it. There were some serious suggestions but they became more and more hilarious. My favorites were "Plastered in Paris", Monet isn't Everything" (but it's sad Toulouse) "An eye-full in Paris" or "Louvre and Let Die", "Bone jour" I could go on.

You'll be pleased to know we settled on none of the above. We've moer or less chosen City of Darkness and Light. What do you think?

Titles are so important, aren't they? How many times have you picked up a book because the title intrigued you? In this world of super-stores, airports and Amazons sometimes the title and front cover are all we have to sell the book. I love Red Deb's titles, especially the latest THE SOUND OF BROKEN GLASS.  It's intriguing because it isn't the sound of breaking glass. It's already broken. So can it make a sound?

I think there are certain buzzwords that attract us to mystery novels. Bone/bones, blood, chill, cold are some of them and I think that Darkness or Dark is another. So Reds and writers: do you agonize over titles? Have you ever wished you�d called a book something else? Confession, I really wish I had not given the Evan books clever puns as titles. It made them sound cozier than they were are probably turned off some serious readers.

 What do you think is your most successful title to date? In the Bleak Midwinter was perfect, Julia. Hallie's are so atmospheric, Lucy's and Rosemary's clever, The Other Woman is spot on, as we say in UK and Dreaming of the Bones one of my favorite titles ever (and favorite books too, Debs.}

So readers and writers out there: what kind of title would make you pick up a book? (surely not Plastered in Paris?)

ROSEMARY HARRIS: I'm in title hell right now! I delivered my manuscript to my agent and she loves the title, but I am having second (and third) thoughts. It's the story of five friends, one of whom may have run off with another one's man. It's currently called The Bitches of Brooklyn but I'm starting to think that misrepresents the book - and may sound angrier or more Real Houewives than it is.  I too polled some friends and readers - the funniest one I got was from Rhonda Dossett, the southern half of the writing duo Evelyn David. (Marian Borden Edelman is the northern half.) She proposed this title And Just So We're Clear - Her Prom Dress Was Ugly, Too.
I'm considering it.

LUCY BURDETTE: Rhys, those are hysterical and utterly silly:). Sheila Connolly mentioned on one of my loops recently that her publisher was lobbying for CORNED BEEF AND CARNAGE for her new Irish mystery. Luckily, that one was nixed and replaced with TOP OF THE MOURNING, which I think works so much better.

Ro, I love that new title and subtitle! I have to agree, BITCHES OF BROOKLYN sounds a little like a downer to me.

I know the publishers spend lots of time trying to get this right, because I've gone round and round for almost all of my books. For the last two (#3 and #4) in the Key West series, I lobbied for FATAL RESERVATIONS. Food critic? yes! Murder mystery? yes! The only thing missing was Key West, which is well represented in the cover art. Instead, I've ended up with TOPPED CHEF and coming next year, MURDER WITH GANACHE. I like both of them just fine. I think the key is to have lots of options and sooner or later, the right one rises to the top.

HALLIE EPHRON: I like titles that sound a little bit nursery rhyme, a little bit creepy (THERE WAS AN OLD WOMAN, NEVER TELL A LIE) - because I'm writing domestic suspense. I do remember one of my earliest mystery novels was entitled ADDICTION an sure enough I had people coming to talks thinking they were going to hear about 12 steps.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: PRIME TIME was almost "TIME CODE" because that's the term for the numbers that are burned it to videotape to let you keep track of time. Which I initially loved, than decided it sounded too science fiction. The it was "Story of my Life" because the main character was after the news story that wold save her career. But then--that sounded too--autobiographical. Then one day someone said (about a new reporter)--oh, she's not ready for prime time. And I knew it had been settled.

I'm now working on the title of my (crossing fingers) next book...and I'm wondering whether it should be The (some word that means "wrong or bad") (gender or relationship.)  THE OTHER WOMAN THE WRONG GIRL< and now...any ideas?  Or maybe just go another way altogether.

Rhys, I think your title is wonderful. And the right decision!  (Although I did laugh at Louvre and Let
Die.)

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Hank, I'm glad you went with PRIME TIME. I would have thought TIME CODE was about a group of spies trying to stop a bomb countdown.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Rhys, I LOVE The City of Darkness and Light!!! So perfect for the book! But the other suggestions are hysterical, and I must confess to a fondness for Louvre and Let Die.

I've only had to change one title. Mourn Not Your Dead was originally One Blood Will Tell, but the sales team at my then publisher didn't like it. My agent and my editor came up with Mourn Not Your Dead, and I still like the working title better.

And you are so right about the buzz words. The title for the book in progress is To Dwell in Darkness, and I hope I get to keep it. I love title with metaphorical layers (at least they are metaphorical to me!) The Sound of Broken Glass refers not only to the ruin of the Crystal Palace, which provides a sort of atmospheric background to the book, but to the shattered relationship that forms the core of the story. And then, since the book revolves around English rock music, there's the the Nick Lowe song, "I Love the Sound of Breaking Glass."

Favorite titles? Hmmm. Maybe The Sound of Broken Glass. Second favorite might be a tie between Dreaming of the Bones and In a Dark House.

JULIA: I can't help but think that cozy titles are the most difficult to get right. There's a convention that there's a pun, and it has to be related to the topic, like Lucy's with Key West and food critic, and it has to reference murder or mayhem, and it can't sound like every other title out there. That's a lot to juggle!

I've had to change a few of my titles. My second book was  JUST AS I AM before it was A FOUNTAIN FILLED WITH BLOOD (I confess it's my least favorite title.) ALL MORTAL FLESH was shortened from LET ALL MORTAL FLESH KEEP SILENCE. And the book that will be coming out this November had the working title of SEVEN WHOLE DAYS, which was greeted by a rousing, "Enh" from every bookseller I tried it out on. They and my publisher liked  THROUGH THE EVIL DAYS much better.

The best part of having hymns as your titles? Free advertising in hundreds of churches every year as they cycle through the hymnal.

JAN BROGAN -   So this, the day after Thanksgiving, there are really only two things to talk about:  What to do with leftovers  - which we did yesterday, and Black Friday Christmas shopping.

Let me begin by saying, I am the world's worst shopper.  I am also the world's worst planner. This has always made Christmas difficult.  I could never get it together to start shopping today. Basically, I developed a holiday system that goes like this:  

1. No matter what the date, pretend Christmas is months away
2. When daughter complains it's getting late, allow her to do all the Christmas decorating.
3. Mean to send cards, but put it off so long that it becomes beside the point.  If someone I haven't heard from in years from sends me one, rush to store and buy one single Christmas card to send in reply.
4. Ritualize Christmas tree shopping so that it is always done on daughter's birthday. This way she either reminds me or offers to do it herself.
5. Agree to make Christmas candies at the very last moment at daughter's urging.
6.  Wait until the week before Christmas to start shopping. Thus run out of time before running out of money.
7. Recover from the materialism of Christmas by cooking a lot on Christmas day. For some reason it seems the perfect balm.


The system is not for everyone,  but it works for me.  But as you may imagine, this system does not allow for Black Friday shopping.  

So my question for you all is twofold: 

Have you every gone Christmas shopping on Black Friday and if so, why and was it worth it?
 Or do you have an alternate holiday system you'd like to share? 

LUCY BURDETTE: Oh Jan, your system would make me so anxious! What a lucky thing to have such a daughter to take over:). We are often traveling to see family or going to Key West or somewhere around the holidays, so that my preparations have contracted. One thing I can count on to help with the shopping list is the annual RJ Julia Booksellers member sale in November. I love this bookstore and love this sale, so a lot of presents are taken care of then! And I do collect stocking stuffers all year.

Black Friday shopping? Never! Hate those frantic crowds...

JAN: Yes, Lucy, I am extremely lucky to have such a daughter, for many reasons. Not least of which - besides her love Christmas and willingness to carry much of the burden, she is insanely organized all year round. (still trying to figure out how that happened.) 

HALLIE EPHRON: Shopping, sigh. Did you have to bring that up (she said, after returning from four trips to the grocery store and still needing to go back for another pint of heavy cream for Thanksgiving)?

Black Friday. I have never, will never ever shop it. First of all, I hate crowds. If I have to go to the mall, ever, I go on a Monday morning when the place opens. And I'm home no more than an hour later. 

Plus our Christmas exchange is very modest -- mostly stocking stuffers which I try to pick up through the year, though this year I have almost nothing in reserve. My husband told me what he wants and sent me the link. It's purchased. And like Jan, I make candy.

My son in law, whose family does exchange gifts, has a great system. He waits until Christmas eve and then heads out at dinner time to blitz it. It's like that old game show Beat the Clock -- what happens happens.

JAN: He sounds sounds like my kind of guy.

RHYS BOWEN: Life is much smoother since I discovered online shopping. Not only is it painless but they ship the presents to the right address. But I do send cards, around 100, since I like keeping in touch with friends around the world, and I love decorating. I have to confess that we finally got a fake tree. It looks wonderful but I miss the smell of fresh greenery. 

I also usually collect stocking stuffers all year but this year I have nothing! And it really bugs me when people want gift cards as presents. Nothing beats unwrapping a strangely shaped package, does it?

And John is one of those who can't get into the holiday spirit until about December 23. Then he asks "What does everyone want for Christmas?" and by then it's too late to buy it at a good price online.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Here's my 9-step system.

1. Buy Christmas cards. 
2. Plan to mail them.
3. It's too late.
4. NO! They can be New Years cards, all the better.
5. Missed that deadline, too.
6. Look on bright side, now I have cards for next year.
7. Put cards in safe place.
8. Forget where safe place is.
9. See number one. 

DEBORAH CROMBIE: You mean it's Christmas already??? I'm not ready! I'm never ready! And I never never never ever shop on Black Friday. I can't think of many things I would less rather do. I don't go in department stores very often under ordinary circumstances--they make me feel overwhelmed by STUFF--so I can't imagine doing it on that day. I like to shop online or in my small local stores, and we don't usually buy big gifts.

The Christmas cards are the tradition in our house.  I think Rick and I have made our own cards every year since we've been married. (There was the year I'd had dental surgery and, totally snockered on Vicodin, hand-stamped a gilded pear--from a handmade woodblock--on a hundred cards...) Then we started doing photo cards, and not the family grouping, but really beautiful photos. The last couple of years we've moved the photo card tradition to digital and are using Paperless Post.  I still buy a few paper cards to send to friends who don't have email.

Who knows what we'll do this year?  Maybe take up Hank's system?  

JAN: Hank, except for actually buying the cards, I totally endorse this system. 
Anyone else willing to share the holiday system that works for her/him?  And whether it includes  Black Friday shopping?

Giving Thanks

JAN BROGAN:  Thursday is Thanksgiving, and it's tempting to ask everyone what she is grateful for. But let's not talk about our husbands or our families, good friends or the fact we have roofs to sleep under and food to eat.

Let's talk about Paula Broadwell.

 I am really grateful I am not Paula Broadwell.  Not because I would have been  found out as a cheater.  Nor that I apparently couldn't cut my doctoral thesis at the Harvard Kennedy School. And not because my biceps couldn't possibly be that defined without steroid use. But because I can't think of anything more humiliating than getting caught threatening some other girl to stay away from my guy.

Even in junior high school, when catty behavior was all the rage, I was not a fan of passing nasty notes.  But imagine being a grown up and having the FBI find all your nasty notes?  Imagine the entire world learning that you tried to scare off your competition?

So how about you Reds? Are you really happy you aren't Paula Broadwell? Or are you grateful you are not someone else?  On the positive side, Paula has  lived an exciting life. Do you think being beautiful, brilliant, and close to power might be worth the price? And is she a good basis for a character? A woman smart enough to graduate from Westpoint, but stupid enough to put her catty little snit in print?

ROSEMARY HARRIS: I'm just sorry that any of this story is seeping, unbidden, into my brain. When I could be thinking about the Elmo sex scandal. Which I originally thought involved Miss Piggy. It's enough to make you wish the campaign was still going on. Okay, maybe not.

I'm grateful that I will be out of the country with no internet access for the next two weeks, during which I suppose a whole new slew of unattractive people will be doing stupid things but I won't have to read about them.

LUCY BURDETTE: Glad I'm not Monica Lewinsky. Or for that matter, Hillary Clinton, even though she did an amazing job of bouncing back from her humiliation. Also Mrs. Petraeus, or Mrs. Spitzer, or most of all, Elizabeth Edwards. I get that people are drawn to do dumb things but being in a position of power and accolades seems to make it worse. I'm grateful to just be little old me:).
:
RHYS BOWEN:  I've never understood what it is about power that attracts beautiful young women to unattractive old guys. It must be the same thing as the rest of the animal kingdom where the stag with the biggest antlers gets all the does. I'm amazed that women like Hillary stayed with their guy through all that farce, proving that power is a strong drug. I'd hate to be any of these women. All their lives, wherever they go, people will nudge each other, saying "Remember her?"

And as for making a good character? Only if she winds up dead. Certainly never a heroine. Readers can love a person who makes stupid mistakes, but not a shallow catty and needy one.

HALLIE EPHRON: Love the question, Jan --
THIS year, I am so grateful NOT to be:
- The Olympic badminton players who threw their matches to get an easier quarter-final draw
- Lance Armstrong
- Maria Shriver
- A Kardashian
- Related in any way to Honey Boo Boo
- The Pope's butler

And may I say I am a huge Elmo fan -- I am wishing Kevin Clash well and hope he can soon get back to the business of making us all giggle.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Elmo? What? I've missed the loop on this one.  Must go Google, and hope to avoid any mention of Kardashians in the process.

Yes, love the question, Jan!

- I am grateful not to be Donald Trump's hair
- Grateful not to be shopping on Black Friday (taboo in our house)
- Grateful my daughter is too old to like Justin Bieber (and would have had better taste even when she was young enough)
- Grateful that this year I'm not going to be picking meat off the turkey carcass at 2 a.m. Thanksgiving night.  We're going out for Thanksgiving dinner!
- And I am really, really grateful that I have NO idea who Honey Boo Boo is.

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HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I am laughing and laughing. I tried to watch Honey Boo Boo (just out of journalistic curiosity of course) but couldn't.

I'm glad I'm not:

 --Ann Curry
 --The guy who wrote that scathing NYT review of Guy Fieri's new restaurant
 --Guy Fieri
 --Someone who cares about Guy Fieri
 --Karl Rove
 --Arnold Schwarzenegger's illegitimate son


But, oh, honeys, I have a book called THE OTHER WOMAN. For the past two years, I have been thinking about motivation and power and deception and denial, and why someone would be the other woman, and why a man in power would get entangled by someone like that. (And honestly, if I had put the real stuff from today's headlines in my book, people would have said it was too unbelievable, right?) So I am FASCINATED and also happy to be timely.

JAN:  So these are the people we are very grateful not to be this Thanksgiving.  How about you?
And please come back tomorrow when I talk about why gratitude is good for your brain!

The Secret to the Universe

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  It was hideous. Stuck. On on the world's narrowest airline seat o n American flight something-or-other to Chicago--for TWO AND A HALF HOURS.Delayed, plane broken, spirits low. I am basically not a chatty-with-strangers person, but in that sort of situation, fine, I'll talk.  And in this case, I learned something. Nothing less than the secret to the universe. 

What is it you say? Well.

The guy I was sitting next to, professorial, natty, was on his way to deliver a paper to the mucketys at University of Illinois. Turns out, he's the director, and has been for 10 years, of something like the world's longest running study of marriage. At Harvard.  They've interviewed hundreds of people about what makes a happy marriage. And what doesn't.

So I said to him--wow! You know the secret of the universe!

He admitted, he did.

What is it?( I of course asked.)

Forty-two, he said. (You'll recognize Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy.)

After he realized I got the allusion, we laughed, and I said, okay, but really, tell me.  

Now usually in a post like this, here's the time I would tell you what he said.
But first--what do YOU think?

HALLIE EPHRON: Oh, I KNOW I KNOW! PICK ME!!
It'a  form of blindness, said the woman married for forty-plus years. We find each other's maddeningly annoying traits adorable.
Plus he eats what I cook and laughs at my jokes. The perfect spouse.

RHYS BOWEN: I've also been married for forty plus years now and sometimes I think staying married is easier than getting divorced because we're so used to each other. But we're on the same wave length. We can finish each other's sentences, say the same thing at the same moment, laugh at the same jokes and enjoy doing the same things. And even better than Hallie's spouse, mine cooks and shops and makes me tea in the mornings. He's also great with money--generous but not wasteful. What more could I want?

ROSEMARY HARRIS: You're all so nice, I'm tempted to say, get 'em when they're old and they don't have enough juice to run around much anymore. But I won't.
We agree on the big stuff - politics, religion, money, sports - but we have a lot of different interests/opinions that we don't necessarily share and I think that keeps us from boring each other.

DEBORAH CROMBIE:Hmm. We've been married eighteen years, but have known each other for--yikes--forty-one years. Can it really be that long?
The big secret to staying together? Integrity, for one. It's hard to stay married to someone you don't trust and don't respect. We agree on most of the big things.
No matter how irritated we may be over little things, we generally get over it pretty fast. He makes me laugh. AND he fixes my computer.  Now if I could just get him to cook and to bring me tea in bed...
Then there's just the general ability to rub along together, which sounds so easy, but isn't. I can't wait to hear what Hank's expert said!

LUCY BURDETTE:  "Feelings, oh, oh oh, feelings..." The secret has to be sharing what you're feeling about life and yourself and your partner and your relationship, but in a kind way. What else could it be? Even John is trained now after 20 years tethered to me. When I ask him what he and his buddies talked about for 5 hours on the golf course, he says: "Our feelings of course. Especially, how we feel about our relationships." :)

HANK: Great guesses. It's pretty interesting. And turns out, there are a couple of secrets. (If I understood correctly!) One is--staying healthy. Healthy spouses have better marriages so stop smoking, eat right, exercise and watch  the drinking.  Also--there seemed to be a correlation in the perception that there were shared positive experiences. And there wasnt much fighting--spouses seemed to realize how the argument would eventually end, so they simply ended it sooner and were fine.  And there's one more thing. What do you think it is, Reds?

 (And as the author of The Other Woman, I can ask you--what do you think Mrs. Petraeus must have said? We'll give a copy of THE  OTHER WOMAN to a lucky commenter!)

( Happy Veterans Day to all, if that's what you say on Veterans Day. We are very grateful.)

Audiobooks and some literary fashion

JAN BROGAN: When my son was young, he was terrible at any chore you gave him.  His main job was to empty the dishwasher. Each time he left at least three glasses or plates in the upper rack for no apparent reason.  If you asked him to clean his bedroom, he threw the covers on the bed and called it "made," left at least one bureau drawer hanging open, and several pairs of socks still on the floor.  One day in his teens, he decided to put on on his IPOD when I assigned him to clean the finished basement.  After about an hour and half later, when he was still down there, I went to check on him. The basement was spotless and he was still vacuuming. He was having such a good time singing along with the music, he kept looking for new things to clean.  

Well, I find the same thing is happening to me and audiobooks.  Normally, I have little patience for mundane tasks. Like my son, I tend to do as little as I can to get the job over with as soon as possible.   But with an audiobook in my ear, my life had changed. Suddenly, I am a perfectionist. 

A good audiobook can make me walk five miles when I set out to walk three. It can make me paint the trim on the kitchen door I've left unpainted for years.   To finish the Steve Jobs biography, I brought it with me to the track, which I normally consider torture, and ran - round and round and round - two tedious two miles with a smile on my face. I have cleaned closets that I've ignored since we bought the house. And last week, I finally sorted out my junk drawer.

Back when audiobooks came in cassette form, I played them only during long car trips or on airplanes. Now that I can put books on my IPHONE, I pretty much carry an ongoing story everywhere. In the car, at the allergist's office, in an amplifier for when I'm cooking in the kitchen, and upstairs with headphones in my bed when my eyes are too tired to read. 

Recently, I listened to the Rules of Civility by Amor Towles, which I highly recommend for both its great storytelling and the mesmerizing rhythms of the prose. Following Katey's love affair, I found myself scrubbing frantically into the always cruddy corners of my cake pans, first with just the sponge, then with COMET. They now look like they belong in Martha Stuart's kitchen.   Yesterday, I  started Hank's The Other Woman, walked the trails until it got dark, then today added three errands to my task list so that I could finish chapter eight. Tomorrow, I just might reorganize my sock drawer.

SPEAKING OF SOCKS:  This has nothing to do with audiobooks, but I was scrolling through the New York Daily News Pageviews blog and came across a piece on literary fashion trends for hipsters.

These stockings might look good on hipsters, but I think they'd be great for writers, readers, librarians and anyone who spends a lot of time on Jungle Red.  

Wouldn't these be perfect at Bouchercon or the New England Crime Bake? 

In other business:  Nancy was chosen at random from the comments page to win a copy of Edith Maxwell's Speaking of Murder. Please contact me Nancy at janbroganbooks@gmail.com to get your book. 

BACK TO AUDIOBOOKS:  Am I the only one altered by technology? Or has anyone else discovered the amazing motivating ability of audiobooks? 

Call Us..Maybe

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: When the phone rings, what do you do?

I yell at it.

Don't call me! I say. I'm busy. Busy--at dinner, or reading, or busy writing, or busy doing nothing. Having my life. And I don't wanna talk. And if it's bad news, all the more reason.

I'm sorry, I know it sounds rude, and even cranky, and after all the phone is a wonderful invention, and when we need it, we need it.

And I always remember the movie A Thousand Clowns, when Jason Robards' character would answer with: "Is it someone with good news or money? No?" And then hang up. Perfect.

But a new study just came out that says people don't like to talk on the phone anymore. I guess I'm a reflection of the zeitgeist.

When I was a teenager, the phone was this wonderful thing--guys were going to call (sometimes they didn't, but that was because my phone was probably broken, or my stupid sister was on it and so they got a busy signal and then they forgot to call back). In my twenties, when I lived in Washington DC and worked for Rolling Stone and the US Senate, I--really!--had an actual service who answered the phone for me and took messages a la Doris Day. And she was great--"Yes, he called!" she'd say, when I called in for my messages. (And she could give different answers to different people--(If Keith calls, I'd say, tell him I'll be home at 10, and it's okay to call late.)

Then the advent of answering machines, and their good-bad reality--you could never say you'd missed a call, right? Because you hadn't.

Anyway, I'll admit, my days of wanting to chat on the phone are over. Over! And if you want to find me, email. How about you, Reds? Do you like to talk on the phone? When the phone rings--what do you do?

RHYS BOWEN: I confess to chatting on the phone for hours with my three daughters, also to my brother in Australia. It's great to hear their voices. Much more personal than an e-mail. However it has always amazed me the way people will drop everything when the phone rings. You are having a conversation and in mid sentence when their phone rings. "I have to answer that," they say and suddenly they are talking to someone else. How rude is that? Doesn't it imply that I am not as important as the person on the phone?

HANK: Rhys! Absolutely. Or when you're at the counter and the store clerk stops helping you and answers the phone. Sigh.

RHYS: And there is the other phone-hating experience when the person in the seat behind me on the bus/train/plane spills out the intimate details of their life loudly into the cell phone. "No, Stanley, I will not have sex with you tonight!"
I wish I could get up the courage to say, "Do we care?"

JAN BROGAN:  I agree Hank, the phone at night seems to be a special intrusion - probably because I'm tired and have used up my communication skills for the day. But I still jump for the phone if it's one of my kids. And I have certain friends with whom I enjoy the occasional long phone conversation - but they are rare. And then, has anyone else noticed a trend of certain friends migrating to your cell phone? I find myself doing it to, for some reason I can't explain, I have stopped calling certain people's landlines and now communicate with these special few only by cell phone.

And then there's my texting buddies...a couple of my friends are hilarious in text, but that's another blog.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: It's so weird, isn't it? When I was a teenager, I got my OWN phone line and it was the most exciting thing ever!! (My parents ran their business from home and didn't want me tying up the business phones.) Now, although we actually do still have a land line, it's VOIP, and I NEVER talk on it. If people want to talk to me, they call my cell, and I don't answer that unless I know who's calling from the ID. Phone calls from strangers seems to have become the equivalent of a strange person ringing your doorbell. It feels like a real invasion of privacy.

I do still have friends and family I like to talk to, either on my cell or on Skype, but I also have friends (and family) that almost entirely text. My daughter never answers her phone. If I want to talk to her, I have to text her and say, "Will you please call me?"

HALLIE EPHRON: This is taking me back. The first phone I remember was a party line, and you didn't have to dial an area code: CRestview 57146. Now that's a phone number with personality.

 Anyone remember the wonderful play/movie Bells Are Ringing - the main character was someone who answered phones at Susanswerphone (pronounced: SuesAnsaPhone). The wonderful Judy Holliday immortalized the lead role.

"Ding ding ding went the trolly. Clang clang clang went the bell. Zing zing zing went my heartstrings. From the moment I saw him I fell...!"

I always think when the phone rings it's a movie deal. Needless to say I am often disappointed.

HANK: But not always, right, Hallie? :-)

ROSEMARY HARRIS: When the phone rings I do nothing . That's not true. Sometimes I yell "you get it, all my relatives are dead." I know.....grim, but I am a mystery writer. I've never been one of those gals who loved to yak on the phone "with a pound and a half of cream upon my face."

But I do love Bells are Ringing....did I ever mention that Paula Holliday is a tiny homage to Judy Holliday?

LUCY BURDETTE: Oh Hank, I had an answering service too, when I had my private psychotherapy practice. You had to be available and cell phones were in their infancy. But I was not so lucky in the ladies I had answering--they could bungle things in an instant...or not call you with an emergency...or call in the middle of the night with an appointment time change...

Funny you should say that answering machines mean we never miss a call. John and I realized this week that though we have an answering machine and two cell phones, we also have Comcast answering service. So we have in fact missed HUNDREDS of calls in the past year, because A we didn't realize we had it, and B, we wouldn't have know how to access the messages anyway. Hmmm, I guess the movie moguls moved on to someone else with their big deals...

HANK: Oh, that is the best, Roberta...amazing. Did you ever discover that you missed anything? And if not--doesn't that prove the point?  (And I was UPtown 3 2768.)

How about you? (And I'm sorry if I put "Call Me Maybe in your head…) Do you like to talk on the phone? Or…do you ignore it?