The Christmas Clock is Ticking

DEBORAH CROMBIE: My suggestion (which I don't see being adopted anytime soon) is that Americans should celebrate Thanksgiving in the middle of October, like our dear Canadian neighbors. The fourth Thursday in November is pretty arbitrary, after all, as President Lincoln originally designated a holiday of thanksgiving (hoping to calm the strife of the Civil War) on the last Thursday of November.  But there was a big stink in 1939 when there were five Thursdays in November, and in 1941 Congress decreed that Thanksgiving would fall on the fourth Thursday of the month. This was condemned as a blatant power grab by retailers to extend the Christmas shopping season (gosh, imagine that!) but there Thanksgiving has stayed. 

 

But when Thanksgiving falls late, as it did this year, it leaves us with a mere four weeks to recover from one holiday and get everything organized for the next, and I am one of those folks who is never ready! Here I am a week into the month and I have bought a total of four gifts: a bottle of the amazing garlic-removing hand scrub for my daughter, and two books and a fountain pen for my granddaughter. I don't even have a list!

Nor have I bought a tree, and my one little gesture towards decorating has been to change the sofa cushions to the Christmas version. I have a good friend, an interior designer, who has all her shopping done and wrapped at least two weeks before Thanksgiving! I gaze at her and marvel!

How are you doing, my darling Reds? Is your shopping finished or barely started? Are you do-ahead-ers, or last-minute-ers? Do you welcome the Christmas season with cries of joy, or with moans of "Already? Please can I have another week or two?"

RHYS BOWEN:  I’m almost done. Everything ordered online which means packages arriving in a steady stream. Most of my cards are mailed. On Sunday my neighbors who are dear friends come to decorate the tree. Since they are Jewish this is a lovely moment for all of us. Then it’s wrapping presents before I juggle the logistics of where to put 7 people in which bedroom and how much food will 15 people eat. 

 

JENN McKINLAY: I hosted Thanksgiving and then had three days to write 12K words to finish a book due on the first. Then I caught the crud and have mostly recovered. I have a 5K to run this Sunday and then I might start to think about decorating for Xmas. Thankfully, I’m not hosting — just bringing dessert— none of my people are gift oriented so it’s mostly cash, gift cards, a sweater, a book or two and boom we’re done! 

 

HALLIE EPHRON: Hanukah will be early this year, too, and I’ve just bought chocolate coins for the kiddoes and a fresh bunch of candles. 

But the best thing is that my kids and grands will be here for a week, celebrating Christmas. so I’m heading out soon for a mini tree and the Xmas presents from the kids are ordered. Otherwise I try to keep gifts for grownups limited to homemade candy (chocolate turtles and chocolate-coverred orange rind) and money. And of course lots of good food (potato latkes and brisket for Hanukah-after-Hanukah). 

 

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Ha ha ha ha ha.  I have holiday cards. In their boxes. I have a mailing list. Will the two ever meet? We shall see.

All of the Christmas decorations are up all over our neighborhood, so we will bask in the reflected light of our more organized neighbors.

As for gifts. Ha ha ha, see above. 

Every year I say – – let’s get a tree! And Jonathan says we’re Jewish. And I don’t see how that matters. 

And we’re not sure if anyone is coming, so hey, if they can’t decide, I don’t need to decide either. Right? It’ll all be fine. No matter what. 

 

LUCY BURDETTE: We are pretty much done because we had to be. We head to California next week to see the grands and needed to send things ahead so we can open while we’re there. (Otherwise our gifts get lost in the mayhem of the actual day…) We don’t have a live tree anymore as by the time they arrive in Key West, they are already losing needles. So we pulled out our little fake tree last night, put lights on the balcony, and decorated a small extra Norfolk pine. The pillows are in varied states of disarray as Lottie tore into them over the years–they are all out anyway except for my favorite Santa, which she still believes is hers! (PS cards are done too because we had a good photo to use! Plus Shutterfly makes it pretty darn easy.)

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: The tree arrived yesterday, courtesy of my friend Samantha, who picked it up from the Gray Fire Department sale. Only live trees in Maine - at least for now.

I've shopped for several kids in actual stores, and will probably order the majority of the rest of the gifts online. Cards? Ahahahaha! I have the same box I bought last year, untouched. Someday, I'll have my act together enough to send them out on time, but this is not that year.

The next step for me is house cleaning, which fell WAY off while I've been traveling for the new book. I can't stand decorating on top of dust or mess, so everything needs to have at least a swipe with the lemon oil and a few passes of the vacuum. 

The holiday is a bit in flux this year, since my son just got a new job and the Mrss. haven't decided how much of it will be at my house and how much at home with the new baby. Which is fine; since the pandemic years, I've been more and more relaxed about the holidays. One way or another, it will all be fun! 

DEBS: How about it, dear readers? Is Christmas sneaking up on you? 

I hope you are all so organized that you will spend the next couple of weeks sitting in front of the fire, sipping hot chocolate and reading good books!

What, This Old Thing?

 Julia Spencer-Fleming: I got the Christmas season Talbots catalogue the other day, and tossed it on top of its LL Bean, Boden and J Crew sisters on my special catalogue library, aka, the shelf by the toilet. I confess, I love clothing catalogues, which style outfits in ways you usually don't see on their websites, which concentrate on zooming in and giving you the front and back of every single item. (The days of purchasing from the catalogues themselves is long gone, though I understand you can still call LL Bean and get a friendly, helpful Mainer to take your order.)

Usually, this time of year, I'm circling items and letting the kids know I'd love this sweater or that scarf. Or in stores, while shopping for others, I'd snap outfits I like and share the picture in our group chat. (When Ross was alive, I'd send the picture to one of the girls, who would physically take him to the store and guide him to the item. Thanks, girls!) I LOVE winter clothing, and let's face it, winter lasts a long time here in Maine. Show me some red and black checked pants or a cardigan with a fur collar, and I'm a happy woman.

But this year?

Nuthin'.

I mean, I asked for some heavy-duty socks to wear when walking the dog, and a new pair of gloves because I never seem to keep both together for more than two years in a row. But a sparkling sweater perfect for wearing to the symphony? Don't need it. Adorable half-boots for meeting friends for brunch? Don't need those. New earrings? Forget it, they just get tangled in my mask.

It's amazing to realize how few clothes you really need when you never go anywhere. I have a Zoom shirt - what else am I going to wear to dress up? I have yoga pants and flannel pajama bottoms and knit leggings for indoors, and jeans for dogwalking and working outside. I look at Talbots adorable plaid ankle length pants, but even at 50% off...

Besides, who wants to wear a waistband in the house?

I suppose the real lesson is that I never did need twenty pairs of pants and thirty shirts and I-can't-even-count how many sweaters. I wonder, when this is all over, if we'll all become a bit minimalist when it comes to our wardrobes. Maybe we can emulate the French, who famously have a few pieces of clothing of excellent quality. When putting my summer clothes in the attic and bringing down my winter things, an annual ritual for cold-weather climes, I realized I had THREE pairs of black dress trousers. Why? I picked one and put the other two on the Goodwill pile.

So despite the allure of cute and cozy winter knits, there will be no clothes on my Christmas wish list. With quarantine stretching out until at least the summer, and perhaps longer, I simply can't justify the expense (not to mention the eternal issue of storage space.) I work at home, I walk the dog, I got those covered.

Although I did see an amazing set of cashmere lounging pajamas...

How about you, dear readers? Is your wardrobe growing, shrinking, or maintaining?

Naughty or Nice?

DEBORAH CROMBIE: So Thanksgiving is over and all of a sudden it's almost December and time to Christmas shop and--EEEK--I have not found a single gift!  The only thing I bought yesterday on Black Friday was some socks that I needed. How incredibly sad is that?

 I have to admit I've never been one of those super organized people who shop all year and have everything tagged and wrapped by Thanksgiving (I do really, honestly have a good friend who does this) but most years by almost December I usually at least have a LIST.

But this year I am absolutely CLUELESS. I cannot even wrap my mind around it. And since I'm probably doing all my shopping online, there's really no excuse.

Not to mention that today is Small Business Saturday, and if we ever needed to support small businesses, it's this year. 

And of course we all want to support our indy bookstores! Two of my faves are Murder by the Book in Houston, and The Poisoned Pen in Scottsdale. They both have BOOKS, obviously, but Murder by the Book has all sorts of other gift-y goodies, like puzzles and mugs, t-shirts and socks, and both stores ship nation-wide.

Just thinking about this has inspired me enough that I may actually tackle a list today...

REDS and readers, have you started/finished holiday shopping? What super-duper gift ideas do you have for those of us who are struggling?

And please share with us your favorite independent bookstore, so that we can spread the love!

Book pairings: Jungle Red gift ideas

HALLIE EPHRON: One of the most fun events I did for my book launch was book talk paired with a wine, chocolate, and cheese tasting, hosted by Adventures by the Book in San Diego. They do such a great job pairing experiences with books--just for instance, coming up next fall they have a New England Foliage Adventures (Oct 12-20), a four-state journey featuring New England authors.

Their approach got me thinking about how pairing a book with a food, an experience, or another book makes a great gift.

So as we all look toward the Christmas shopping season, we Reds are here to help you with some creative gift giving, pairing our books with… 

I’d recommend pairing CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR with a copy of Marie Kondo’s THE LIFE-CHANGING MAGIC OF TIDYING UP, and a bottle of Prosecco (just don't drink too much).

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I’d recommend pairing A BITTER FEAST with a bottle of Cotswold Dry Gin (or best substitute available,) a cheese board with artisan British cheeses, and a book on Cotswold Secret Gardens. A plane ticket would be nice, too, for those very special friends!

LUCY BURDETTE: If the person you’re gifting is going to make it to Key West this winter, a perfect gift would be A DEADLY FEAST, plus tickets to the Key West seafood and walking tour that’s featured in the book. Or you could meet the real chef Martha Hubbard at one of her tasting events: http://www.islecookkeywest.com/schedule-of-events.htm

If all else fails, a key lime pie goes with any of the books!

JENN McKINLAY: Well, for the romantics in your life, you could give a copy of THE CHRISTMAS KEEPER with an ugly Christmas sweater, it’s a thing in the book. Or for the mystery lover, a copy of WORD TO THE WISE with a nice charcuterie board or some roses, although they might send a mixed message, so be careful with that.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Ooh, a copy of THE MURDER LIST feels like it might come with a bit of baggage. So I’d make it fun, and include a gorgeous indulgent notebook--ostensibly for keeping track of the books your recipient reads, or maybe journaling, but maybe for a list of something else….   And a beautiful pen, or a box of those wonderful Blackwing #2 pencils.

RHYS BOWEN: I’m not sure what I could pair with LOVE AND DEATH AMONG THE CHEETAHS, my most recent book. Certainly not a book on how to host a wife-swapping party! Or a bag of cocaine. Or even a pair of tickets to a safari. 

So I think I’ll stick with the safer THE VICTORY GARDEN, my stand-alone from earlier this year. It’s about a garden in Devonshire, herbs, healing, so I think I could pair it with a book on the uses of herbs, plus a jar of Devon clotted cream to have with scones and jam. And I’d throw in a copy of my THE TWELVE CLUES OF CHRISTMAS to make it festive, as that is all about celebrating Christmas in Devonshire.

HALLIE: So wishing everyone a happy Saturday-after-Thanksgiving and JUST THREE WEEKENDS BEFORFE CHRISTMAS!

Are you on schedule?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:

So? Are you on schedule? Speaking of holiday cards--this is one (by Greg Clarke, from 2007!) from the stash I am planning to send. SOOON.  I love so much about this. (Like her flip-phone.)  And what did we ever do before free shipping?

What are YOU doing today, Reds? 

We know you're busy (or are you?)

Check in! Let us know what you're up to…and we'll send a signed book to one lucky commenter!

The Red's Black Friday Blues

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Happy Day-after-Thanksgiving! Or, as it's come to be known, Black Friday. When I was a kid, back in the days of whale oil lanterns, the weekend after Thanksgiving was the big start to the holiday season. The Friday paper would arrive stuffed with ads for sales on Saturday and Sunday, although since my mother has always shopped for Christmas presents throughout the year, I don't recall her making any special trips out on those days.


Then the sales themselves moved up to Friday, and acquired the trade nickname of Black Friday from merchants who marked it as the beginning of the most profitable four weeks of the year. I think the first time I heard it called Black Friday was in the 90s, in one of those de rigueur articles about the Christmas Economy. 

Sometime between then and now, Black Friday became a Big Thing. TV ads blared out the doorstopper specials for weeks in advance. Mother-daughter pairs mapped out their assaults on stores, parents got in line at 3am to get that year's hot toy, and many people came to see it as an essential part of the Thanksgiving holiday – at least as popular as the Macy's Parade and possibly more so. As we all know, the opening times were pushed back and back, in a way not dissimilar to the race to be the first-in-the-nation primary. If New Hampshire goes to the polls on January 15, Iowa will change their date to the tenth. If Best Buy opens at midnight, Wal-Mart will open at 10pm. Despite a pushback to carve out some time for turkey, football, and family, there are stores which will be welcoming the public at 4:00 Thanksgiving afternoon. 

Ross and I have done Black Friday twice, each time when we wanted a specific big household item. One year we got in line at Circuit City at 4am to be one of the 20 people to carry off a desktop computer/software/printer package at a ridiculously low price. A few years later, we badly needed to replace our dishwasher. I had been reading Consumer Reports and comparison shopping online when I saw Sears would be marking down a dishwasher I liked. We got to the store when it opened at six, reasoning rightly that the big crowds would be lining up for toys and electronics. The guys in the large appliance area seemed pleasantly surprised to see anyone.

At both occasions, after we nabbed our big buys we went on to get a lot of shopping done. It was fun, actually, with a festive atmosphere and a lot of happy people crowding the stores. There is a decided sense of accomplishment to knock off half or more of your holiday presents list in one morning – and the stores were more heavily staffed than at any other time of the year. Nonetheless, we have no plans to hit the malls today. I'd rather spend my money supporting Shop Local Saturday, and for the things I can't get in town, well, that's what the Internet's for. You don't even have to stick to “Cyber Monday” - Amazon and other large retailers have good buys throughout the month.

How about you, Reds? Are headed out this morning to shop til you drop? Looking for bargains online? Or do you, like my mother, already have your holiday shopping in the bag?

LUCY BURDETTE: No Black Friday shopping for me, though it sounds like you and Ross made the absolute best use of those occasions. I get freaked out by big crowds of desperate people. Probably the closest I came was the year that Macy's closed In New Haven. Everything on sale for rock bottom prices. I got the most amazing pile of sweaters for everyone for Christmas that year, but it involved standing in long lines and scrabbling through piles of goods with other driven shoppers. Sort of the opposite of the Christmas spirit...

And PS, I LOVE the shop local movement and do so whenever I can!

And PPS, handmade is even better, though since I've started to write on a regular schedule, that's only in my dreams. But one year I took a ratty quilt that had belonged to my mother in law, and made sachets stuffed with lavender for all the women in the family. Then I included a note about the provenance of the quilt. It was fun and felt special.

HALLIE EPHRON: Scrooge, here.

I hate crowds and I hate shopping… so Black Friday feels like the perfect storm, and not in a good way. You couldn’t drag me to the mall. And there are very few things for which I’d stand in line to get a price break (an iPhone or a MAC Air, but neither of those get discounted.) And am I the only one who’s noticed how crazy afternoon traffic has become already, another sign of impending holidays -- storm clouds building.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the holidays, and I adore having something special to give to the people I love.  It’s getting there that gets me down.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Nope, nope, nope. I don't like to fight or scramble for a "thing." Although I must agree--Julia, what you and Ross have figured out is kind of brilliant.  But the parking! And the craziness. Yeesh.

We are lucky to be able to decide yes or no for such a question, you know? There's so much to have, and we have to remember not to take it for granted.  (Sorry, digression).

I'm all about the internet for holiday gift shopping. Because it also SHIPS! Yay! And free shipping is one of the glories of the universe.

SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL: Julia, you and Ross make it sound fun, but I'm with Hallie and Hank on this one. Honestly, shopping on so-called Black Friday sounds like the fifth ring of hell. All those crowds. All that lust for _stuff_. I'd rather stay at home and eat leftovers and watch Christmas movies with the family....  

DEBORAH CROMBIE: No Black Friday here, either. Ack. Although I've know people who do it every year as a family tradition and have a great time, it's not my idea of fun. I don't like crowded stores, and I really don't like frenzied holiday drivers in parking lots... And I feel sorry for the store employees who no longer get to enjoy Thanksgiving. I'll probably do some of my shopping online (the catalogs are coming like gangbusters!) some in my local shops, and Kayti and I will definitely get to Northpark (Dallas's fabulous mall that doubles as an art museum) but it won't be on a super busy shopping day. It's a must, though, just to see the Christmas decorations..

RHYS BOWEN: Sorry, no Black Friday for me either. There is nothing I want badly enough to make me stand in line for hours.. And I found that last year I did most of my shopping online. Actually I do less shopping as the grandchildren become teenagers and request gift cards from their favorite stores.

But I have a good Black Friday story, from a Microsoft tech who fixed my computer after a disastrous Windows 10 upgrade. He said he'd been working at Best Buy and some people had camped out all week in front of the store to be first in line. At 4 a.m. on the morning of Black Friday a policeman had found them intoxicated and with open bottles of liquor and had arrested them all. One hour before the doors opened! That doesn't seem fair somehow.

JULIA: How about you, dear readers? Have you already nabbed the best bargains of the day? Or are you waiting on the ghost of Christmas shopping Yet To Come?

Black... what?

DEBORAH CROMBIE:  Now that Black Friday is--thankfully--over, how many of you got out there and pushed, shoved, and trampled to get that bargain?

For curiosity's sake, I looked up the origin of the term.  Here's what Wikipedia says: The first mention of Black Friday referring to shopping the day after Thanksgiving occurred in Philadelphia in 1961. "For downtown merchants throughout the nation, the biggest shopping days normally are the two following Thanksgiving Day. Resulting traffic jams are an irksome problem to the police and, in Philadelphia, it became customary for officers to refer to the post-Thanksgiving days as Black Friday and Black Saturday."

But did you know that it was not until 2005 that the day after Thanksgiving actually became the biggest retail sales day of the year?

Okay, so I have a confession. I don't think I have ever shopped for anything on Black Friday. I usually try not to go out of the house, because I don't want to get stuck in a traffic jam, or be run into by one of those shoppers still fueled by adrenaline and shopping rage. I wonder how much money people actually end up saving, and how much of the shopping is actually for gifts? Honestly, I suspect that in many cases, it's not about the money at all, but about competitiveness. I'm still horrified by the case of the Wal-Mart employee who was trampled to death in 2008 in Valley Stream, New York.  The mob refused to let other employees render aid to their stricken colleague, because they didn't want to miss a bargain...

How did this day that is supposed to be associated with Christmas gift giving become an outlet for the worst side of human nature?

So, fellow REDS, do you venture out on Black Friday?  AND how much of your Christmas shopping have you done? And where and how will you do it?

(I'm dying to know who is the organized shop-throughout-the-year RED, and who is the last-minute-panic RED!)  Fess up!  I'll go first.

DEBS: How much shopping have I done?  None. Zero. Zilch. I have, however, looked at some catalogs, and started to think about it.  I'll order some things online.  I'll buy some books, I'm sure.  And I'll try to do at least a little shopping at my local stores on the town square.  We've never been a family to go in for high-dollar gifts at Christmas (do you actually know anyone who buys a new car as a gift? Or diamonds? Or any of those things the TV ads would convince you EVERYONE buys??) Even as a child my favorite gifts were books and records. Now I try to find little things that the recipients will enjoy.  My daughter and I are both into foodie stuff, and always have a great time shopping for each other.  Neither of us can keep a secret, however, so we always know what we're getting! The hubby always want socks, and very thoughtfully puts up a wish list on Amazon:-)

HALLIE EPHRON: I hate shopping and I hate crowds. So no. If Black Friday depended on me, it would very rapidly go extinct.

This year, our Christmas present to ourselves is a week in a condo on Sanibel Island in Florida with our kids. I'm GETTING as well as giving, because nothing is more precious to me than time I can spend with my girls, my son in law, and my grandbaby.

I've pretty much abandoned other gift giving, other than Christmas morning stocking stuffers. Some of it I make (candy), some I buy (bottles of weird colored nail polish and sparkly eye shadow), and always a magazine to read Christmas morning. None of us needs more "stuff."

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I thought they called it Black Friday because it's the day that puts the stores' books in the black, financially. Right?

I would no more go shopping on Black Friday than..well, I can't even think of a reason I'd do it. Never, no way, no how. (I am doing the second-to-final edits of TRUTH BE TOLD, and very happy about that. Shopping for better words.)

Gifts? I stink. My problem is, I buy things whenever I see them--oh, that'd be perfect for my agent! Then I forget where I put them.

Conversation in early December:
Hank: What present do you want, honey?
Jonathan: Nothing.
Hank: Me, either. We have everything.
Jonathan: Yeah.

Conversation on Dec 25:
Hank: No presents! Rats!
Jonathan: Yeah, what happened??

It's all very complicated.

SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL: I hate shopping and I hate crowds, so the idea of Black Friday fills me with horror and dread. I don't think anyone could pay me to go out and face those sales.

However, I have no issue doing holiday shopping via the internet, because it eliminates the crowd issue. Also, I'm really only shopping for the kiddo, so it's pretty fun — and he still believes in Santa, bless him! 

Noel and I are in savings mode, so we usually give each other funny socks. It's nice because it's not a huge amount of money or hard to do, and you still have a package to open on Christmas Day. Socks I've bought for Noel in the past have had maps of the NYC Subway system, the Tower of London, and Oscar the Grouch.

And Miss Edna will be getting some nice PJs, a new robe, and slippers.

I remember one year the kiddo asked me, "Mommy, what do you want most for Christmas?"
And I replied, "Peace of mind."
And then he said, "OK, I'll give you back a piece of your mind."
If only!

RHYS BOWEN: Hank, I can relate to that dialog so much. John and I go through the same thing. And he's especially bad. If he wants something, he goes out and buys it instantly. Even if it's three days before his birthday. I do like to open presents, but it can be something really small and simple. It's the thought that counts... unless it's a surprise gift of diamonds. Then it's the diamond that counts.

There is nothing in the universe I want or need badly enough to make me fight crowds and stand in line on Black Friday. We spent the morning at the Musical Instrument Museum where the kids played on every kind of instrument for hours, then we are going to a Cowboy place to eat barbecue under the stars--far from the Madding crowds.

LUCY BURDETTE: Ohhhh, barbecue, my favorite! I buy things all along as the year goes by. My mother was a huge believer in fat stockings and I can't quite shake the habit. I find it fun to try to think about what special things people would like. Of course, the closer their taste is to mine, the easier it is! And always books, lots of books. But not on Black Friday...

DEBS:  Hank, you crack me up.  We had a similar conversation one year.

Rick: Let's agree we won't do anything for Christmas this year. We don't need to spend the money.
Me: (Reluctantly.) Well, okay.

Skip to Christmas morning.  Not a single present for me under the tree. Not a single one. I had, of course, bought and wrapped little gifts. Nothing EXPENSIVE, that being the point, right?

Me: (in tears) You didn't get me anything! Not a book or a CD or even a movie!
Rick: (irate) But you said we weren't going to do Christmas!

Translation: A big failure of communication here.  In my view, there should always be something to unwrap or put in a stocking, even if it is a $5 gift from Big Lots (right down the street!)

Conclusion: Now I make a list. (This year it's The Hobbit, extended edition, on Blu-ray. No misunderstanding allowed.)

And I have to confess I fibbed about the "no big gift" thing. Last year Rick surprised me with a Galaxy tablet. I LOVE it. It's sitting right next to me now and I don't know how I ever did without it.  I guess that makes up for the no-gift Christmas...

Susan, do I have SOCKS for you!  A friend gave me these a few years ago, and now I give them to everyone, and buy a couple of new pairs for myself.  They are the best socks in the world, and they are incredibly fun and hold up through countless washings and dryings.  It's Socklady.com. Solmate Mismatched Socks.

READERS, what about you?  Did you brave Black Friday?  Is your shopping done or not even contemplated?

JAN BROGAN -   So this, the day after Thanksgiving, there are really only two things to talk about:  What to do with leftovers  - which we did yesterday, and Black Friday Christmas shopping.

Let me begin by saying, I am the world's worst shopper.  I am also the world's worst planner. This has always made Christmas difficult.  I could never get it together to start shopping today. Basically, I developed a holiday system that goes like this:  

1. No matter what the date, pretend Christmas is months away
2. When daughter complains it's getting late, allow her to do all the Christmas decorating.
3. Mean to send cards, but put it off so long that it becomes beside the point.  If someone I haven't heard from in years from sends me one, rush to store and buy one single Christmas card to send in reply.
4. Ritualize Christmas tree shopping so that it is always done on daughter's birthday. This way she either reminds me or offers to do it herself.
5. Agree to make Christmas candies at the very last moment at daughter's urging.
6.  Wait until the week before Christmas to start shopping. Thus run out of time before running out of money.
7. Recover from the materialism of Christmas by cooking a lot on Christmas day. For some reason it seems the perfect balm.


The system is not for everyone,  but it works for me.  But as you may imagine, this system does not allow for Black Friday shopping.  

So my question for you all is twofold: 

Have you every gone Christmas shopping on Black Friday and if so, why and was it worth it?
 Or do you have an alternate holiday system you'd like to share? 

LUCY BURDETTE: Oh Jan, your system would make me so anxious! What a lucky thing to have such a daughter to take over:). We are often traveling to see family or going to Key West or somewhere around the holidays, so that my preparations have contracted. One thing I can count on to help with the shopping list is the annual RJ Julia Booksellers member sale in November. I love this bookstore and love this sale, so a lot of presents are taken care of then! And I do collect stocking stuffers all year.

Black Friday shopping? Never! Hate those frantic crowds...

JAN: Yes, Lucy, I am extremely lucky to have such a daughter, for many reasons. Not least of which - besides her love Christmas and willingness to carry much of the burden, she is insanely organized all year round. (still trying to figure out how that happened.) 

HALLIE EPHRON: Shopping, sigh. Did you have to bring that up (she said, after returning from four trips to the grocery store and still needing to go back for another pint of heavy cream for Thanksgiving)?

Black Friday. I have never, will never ever shop it. First of all, I hate crowds. If I have to go to the mall, ever, I go on a Monday morning when the place opens. And I'm home no more than an hour later. 

Plus our Christmas exchange is very modest -- mostly stocking stuffers which I try to pick up through the year, though this year I have almost nothing in reserve. My husband told me what he wants and sent me the link. It's purchased. And like Jan, I make candy.

My son in law, whose family does exchange gifts, has a great system. He waits until Christmas eve and then heads out at dinner time to blitz it. It's like that old game show Beat the Clock -- what happens happens.

JAN: He sounds sounds like my kind of guy.

RHYS BOWEN: Life is much smoother since I discovered online shopping. Not only is it painless but they ship the presents to the right address. But I do send cards, around 100, since I like keeping in touch with friends around the world, and I love decorating. I have to confess that we finally got a fake tree. It looks wonderful but I miss the smell of fresh greenery. 

I also usually collect stocking stuffers all year but this year I have nothing! And it really bugs me when people want gift cards as presents. Nothing beats unwrapping a strangely shaped package, does it?

And John is one of those who can't get into the holiday spirit until about December 23. Then he asks "What does everyone want for Christmas?" and by then it's too late to buy it at a good price online.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Here's my 9-step system.

1. Buy Christmas cards. 
2. Plan to mail them.
3. It's too late.
4. NO! They can be New Years cards, all the better.
5. Missed that deadline, too.
6. Look on bright side, now I have cards for next year.
7. Put cards in safe place.
8. Forget where safe place is.
9. See number one. 

DEBORAH CROMBIE: You mean it's Christmas already??? I'm not ready! I'm never ready! And I never never never ever shop on Black Friday. I can't think of many things I would less rather do. I don't go in department stores very often under ordinary circumstances--they make me feel overwhelmed by STUFF--so I can't imagine doing it on that day. I like to shop online or in my small local stores, and we don't usually buy big gifts.

The Christmas cards are the tradition in our house.  I think Rick and I have made our own cards every year since we've been married. (There was the year I'd had dental surgery and, totally snockered on Vicodin, hand-stamped a gilded pear--from a handmade woodblock--on a hundred cards...) Then we started doing photo cards, and not the family grouping, but really beautiful photos. The last couple of years we've moved the photo card tradition to digital and are using Paperless Post.  I still buy a few paper cards to send to friends who don't have email.

Who knows what we'll do this year?  Maybe take up Hank's system?  

JAN: Hank, except for actually buying the cards, I totally endorse this system. 
Anyone else willing to share the holiday system that works for her/him?  And whether it includes  Black Friday shopping?

Countdown

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.

*** Dave Barry

HANK: On the spectrum of organization, with ten being obsessive and zero being chaos, I'm confessin' to being a nine or so. I have lists, lists of lists, I know how many words I'm supposed to write every day, I know (pretty much) what we're having for dinner a week at a time ("Going out" is included.)I have memos I'm supposed to write about news story ideas, and I do that just fine, I make my news deadlines and my writing deadlines and I have three calendars and my dinner party dishes are all done at the same time.

So. Why is it, then, that holiday shopping is just impossible for me? I start thinking about it in, March or so. I'll think, oh, plenty of time, I know exactly who needs presents, this year, I'm going to get AHEAD. Summer comes, summer goes. I have purchased holiday gifts during that time, however I have no idea where they are by the time fall comes around.

So now that Thanksgiving is over, everyone is out there, buying stuff. And I think, plenty of time really, why did I worry. Four whole weeks. But know what's going to happen. It's what happens every year. I wait, I'll procrastinate, I'll have terrific ideas that never pan out, I'll send my holiday cards as New Years cards, and some people won't get presents at all til later. I'm just warning you.

Why do my organizational abilities collapse when it comes to holiday presents? Who of you has a closet full of already wrapped gifts? (Say it ain't so.) Any great ideas for this year?

JAN: One year I actually did start early and I wound up spending almost twice as much. Now, I deliberately leave it for the last two weeks. I start getting a few ideas and jot them down, but don't go to the stores until the bitter end. If I'm really being good -- I leave it all to a couple of days before Christmas.

ROSEMARY: This is going to sound really pathetic but I have almost no one left to buy presents for. I used to love making the lists and tracking down the perfect gifts but the relatives are all but gone, the friends have scattered or changed (no disrespect, but, has anyone else noticed that since getting published they spend much more time with mystery pals than "friends.") And buying presents for "new" friends can be awkward - will they be embarassed if they didn't buy anything for you?, or "OMG, did she think we were really FRIENDS?"

In Nepal, I bought dozens of smallish gifts for people I'd be seeing over the holidays. That's my current strategy. I shop when I'm away. For Bruce - I could get him a boat or a sweater from Barney's and he'd smile and hug me. I've never met another person so disinterested in possessions. For eleventh hour presents, I go to Sephora. There's something there for every woman I know.

HALLIE: I really detest shopping for Christmas presents, but I love HAVING SHOPPED (just like writing, in fact!) And it's a great feeling to ace it and give just the right gift to someone you love. For my husband, though, that usually involves making up a batch of dark-chocolate covered orange rind or a duck pate. And opening gifts is so much fun.

RHYS: Shopping early doesn't work for me. I hide the presents then forget where I put them and what I actually bought. Actually I'm now smart. I check online, order the gifts shipped to my kids' houses for the grandchildren and everyone is happy. Adults usually want money/gift cards which makes it easy too. But I do like to find small stocking stuffers as well. And sometimes get creative. Meghan, aged 8 wants to make clothes for her American Girl doll so I've bought patterns and fabric and am going to buy her a little sewing machine and we'll make them together. I love stuff like that.

My husband is impossible. If he needs something he goes out and buys it--even three days before Christmas. I can never surprise him/delight him and there is no point in adorable little stocking stuffers.They sit IN the stocking until next year. He doesn't want clothes, has all the electronics ever invented.
So... and I hope he's not reading this... I plan to give him coupons for one theatrical performance of some kind once a month. That way we'll both get to see things (that I'd like to see!!!)

HANK: Brilliant, Rhys! Last year, I gave my grandson Eli the Elijah-T-Shapiro book of the month club--every month, I sent him a list of categories, (he was six years old) and each month he'd choose a category, send it to me by mail, and I'd send him a book from that category. It was terrific...and like your coupons, had a lot of togetherness-benefits.

ROBERTA: Chiming in a little late because I was out shopping (no kidding!)

(HANK et al: Oh, sure. :-) )

ROBERTA: I start early--last year I went to some sales the day after Christmas. If I had to wait until the last 2 weeks like Jan, I'd have a heart attack. We have trimmed our list down quite a bit as various relatives agreed it was silly to keep buying and spending. But it still ends up being a big job so if I collect ideas and gifts over the year, it works for me! Love the idea of theatre tickets and the book of the month club and the homemade goodies. I'm thinking jars of granola this year. It's really yummy!

HANK: Someone's always the over-acheiver...Roberta, we salute you. Hallie! May we have the orange rind recipe? I hope you're planning to share..it sounds fantastic. And maybe it would be better if there were some kind of "give a pal or relative a present whenever you want" kind of deal. But hey, don't we have that?

How about you all? Organized? Or not so much? What's your holiday gift hint? We need 'em!