Hearts and Flowers from the REDS

DEBORAH CROMBIE: My granddaughter Wren is in kindergarten (gosh, how time flies! I can hardly believe it…) so this is her first class Valentine's Day and she is prepared. Are these not the cutest things ever?

Looking at these took me back to making valentines in my grade school classes. Who else remembers cutting out hearts from red construction paper, then from white lace paper doilies and painstakingly gluing them together? And adding glitter! Then we were given paper muffin cups filled with conversation hearts. I don't think they actually taste like much of anything but they definitely say Valentine's Day to me!

I don't remember Valentine's Day being so commercialized back in that dim and distant past. These days it seems to be all about getting people to buy everything from diamonds to new cars, and making people who aren't part of a couple feel left out. But according to Catholic.org, St. Valentine is not only the patron saint of love and engaged and married couples, but also of beekeepers (I love that!), epilepsy, fainting, greetings, travelers, young people, and plague! I think that covers just about everything, especially in this year of Omicron.

I am hereby casting my vote for an inclusive Valentine's Day, a day to tell our friends how much we appreciate them. I used to have a big box of wonderful reproduction Victorian valentines and I would send them to my friends every year–maybe it's time to reinstate that tradition. 

What do you say, dear REDs? 

RHYS BOWEN:  Having attended a girl’s school there were no valentines. But I do remember my first, sent by my first real boyfriend. I was so excited! But I certainly participated in the creation of many paper and doily valentines for my kids. I’m amazed how commercial it has become. The houses around me are decorated with hearts or even red lights. And all the ads for jewelry! My own valentine story. When we bought our first condo in Arizona John bought me a dollar store bunch of roses plus a small balloon. He has brought it out every year since! Still going strong. Now if only he could get the day right!

HALLIE EPHRON: I remember sitting out in our backyard and cutting up doilies and colored paper and making valentines. LOTS of them. And I gave them to girls AND boys. I don’t remember *getting* valentines so much until I met my husband, and from Day One he gave me hand-drawn valentine every year. I, who never save anything, have all 52 of them. The first one is of us and our two cats, Soot and Eloise. We got married that June. 

DEBS: Aw, Hallie, Jerry's cartoons are such a treasure. We are all sending you big hugs.

JENN McKINLAY: Aw, I love that, Hallie. 

I’m not a big Valentine’s Day  person but I absolutely remember making Valentines in school with red and pink construction paper and doilies and glitter. I still love glitter!

And I remember exchanging cards with classmates - everyone gave them out to everyone in the class - very inclusive. 

Unsurprisingly, my favorite part of Valentine cards are the puns - Bee Mine with a big old honey bee holding a heart. LOL.  And, of course, any day that is an excuse to buy copious amounts of candy for yourself or others is a great day in my book. 

LUCY BURDETTE: Aww, Hallie, very hard to have a first Valentine’s day without your sweetheart. Luckily, we are all your valentines!

John proposed on Valentine’s day in 1992, and we were married in May. So now going on 30 years–who even imagined? I think I made cards way back in the day. But I most remember the little flat cards you bought in a big pack. My father sent them to us for years, signing them love,  4-1-4 (secret code for D-A-D.)

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I remember those big packs of valentines that you had to punch out the cardboard, and then put into envelopes that juuuuust barely fit. And there was a special one for the teacher. I always had fun punching them out, but after that, I was not that enthusiastic. I remember in college, the BIG deal was whether a boy sent you roses. A college experience I never had, I might add. 

Truth be told, the only thing I like about Valentine's Day is those little hearts with sayings. Otherwise, I think it’s kind of fraught and too competitive and too much pressure. And too easy a place to consider yourself a "failure" because something didn't happen on a certain day that "they" say should happen.

Also, as a reporter, I have done too many stories about the incredible price gouging for roses. Bad unhealthy roses.

(Am I too cynical?) 

DEBS: No, you're not, Hank. Valentine's flowers are pretty horrible, and this is the only week that I never buy flowers at Trader Joe's. They are double the price! And we would never go out to dinner on V-Day. I usually try to make something nice, but tonight we may end up with pizza.

Anything would be a vast improvement over Valentine's Day last year, the first day of the Texas Snowmaggedon. We still had power but it would go out in the early hours of the 15th and stay off for three days. Rick says now that those days we spent huddled by the fire together were kind of romantic. Maybe in retrospect!

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Debs, in Maine we find huddling by the fire romantic out of necessity. Seriously, Ross used to think it was very sexy when I was swathed neck to ankle in flannel. He was a dashing Valentine’s gift-giver when we were dating. Best one ever: a GWU acapella group was doing singing valentines as a fund raiser, and I was surprised on campus by a trio serenading me with “My Girl” by The Temptations. I still swoon a little when I hear that song.

Once we were married, I was not that big a fan of the traditional gesture. The flowers are overpriced (and often die quickly,) it’s hard to get a decent reservation, and I know we can pick up that box of chocolates for 50% off on February 15, so let’s do that instead. It’s amazing what a mental turn-around you can have once his money becomes our money!

Still… that first February 14th without him was hard. Hallie, long-distance hugs, and here’s wishing you a lovely Zoom Valentines with the grandkids. 

DEBS: How about you, dear readers? Any special Valentine's Day plans?

Wishing you a happy one from the REDS!

P.S. I have to wonder who Wren gave the valentine with the scorpion to....

What We're Writing: For Batter or Worse

Happy Valentine's Day, Reds and Readers! 

Jenn McKinlay: Appropriately, today I'm writing about my 13th Cupcake Bakery Mystery For Batter or Worse, where the two main protagonists, Mel and Dear Joe, are finally, finally, finally, tying the knot. Here's a little promo film for the book:

For once, I am not hip deep in writing a book. I am in that in between place where the next book isn't due for a while and I'm noodling with ideas for proposals that need to be written. It's some much appreciated down time after skidding sideways into a book deadline and then hammering through revisions on another book in January. 

So, what wordsmithing am I doing? Newsletters, promo pieces, and guest blogs all for the May release of FOR BATTER OR WORSE, the 13th Cupcake Bakery Mystery. Yes, I have achieved my goal of writing a baker's dozen. I really thought the series would end there but I have one more under contract and then we'll see. 

When people ask about my writing style in regards to the mysteries, I always say it's an Agatha Christie/I Love Lucy mash-up and the cupcake bakery series truly exemplifies this to me. I mean when you're mixing cupcakes and murder, it has to have a little sitcom flavor otherwise it's just ridiculous.

Here's a snippet, so you can see what I mean: 

“Shut the front door!” A shout sounded from the front of the bakery and Mel snapped her head at the swinging doors, expecting to see her octogenarian counter help, Marty Zelaznik, appear. He did not. 

     Angie was seated at a stool across the steel work table from her. They were decorating a batch of specialty gender reveal cupcakes so the frosting was half pink and half blue. Inside the cupcakes was a pink center of raspberry cream, because the baby was going to be a girl. They had not done the same thing for Angie because, much to everyone’s chagrin, she and Tate had decided not to find out if Baby Harper was a boy or a girl. 

     “What do you suppose that was about?” Angie asked.

     The swinging doors slammed open and Marty appeared. His bald head was pink and shiny and his navy blue Fairy Tale Cupcakes apron was askew and had a smear of buttercream on the bib.

     “Turn on the TV, channel nine,” he cried. 

     “What?” Mel asked. 

     “Why? Is there a fire?” Angie asked. 

     She was already in motion and pushed off her stool and crossed the kitchen as swiftly as her pregnant belly would allow. She grabbed the remote and switched on the television they kept in the kitchen. It was mounted on the wall as Mel liked to watch old movies when she pulled an all-nighter on a special order.

     Angie flicked through the channels, pausing on channel nine. In seconds, the beaming smile of Oscar Ruiz, former employee of Fairy Tale Cupcakes, was smiling out at them as he demonstrated the proper technique when piping icing out of a pastry bag. 

     Mel felt her mouth drop open. “Oz? That’s our Oz!” 

     “I know! Look at him!” Marty clapped a hand onto his bald head. “He looks like a movie star.”

     “But he said…” Angie paused and bit her lip. She looked at Mel and asked, “He did say he wasn’t interested in doing a cooking show, right? My pregnant brain didn’t make me hallucinate that, did it?”

     “No, that’s what he said,” Mel agreed.

     “Hush, he’s talking,” Marty said. 

     “Then you want to hold the bag at an angle and pipe the frosting in a thick swirl, working from the outside to the center,” Oz instructed.

    “My, you do have a wonderful technique,” Stella, the morning show host, purred as she leaned up against Oz.

    Angie made a low rumble in her throat. “I didn’t know Stella was so handsy.”

     They watched as Oz handed Stella a pastry bag and helped her decorate a cupcake. He was handsome and charming and the camera loved him. When he flashed a smile, two dimples appeared in his cheeks that clearly charmed the socks off Stella. 

     “Hoo boy, look at him,” Marty said. “He’s like the Henry Cavill of cupcake baking.”

     The segment ended with Stella biting into one of Oz’s cupcakes and fake swooning. Oz deftly caught her in his arms and then smiled at the camera. Marty was right. He was one hundred percent movie star Foodie Channel material.

                                    *    *    *

PRE-ORDER

As you can see, humor is important to me in a mystery. How about you readers? Do you need some laughs with your murder or do you prefer it played straight?

Lastly, the Jungle Red Writers visited the Poisoned Pen for Galentine's Day yesterday. Our Hallie couldn't join us this time, but I hear we'll be back. To watch the livestream click: HERE

We recommended some of our favorite reads (here's the list):

 Jenn McKinlay recommends When No One is Watching by 

Alyssa Cole

Julia Spencer Fleming recommends the Mercy Carr series by 

Paula Munier

, starting with A BORROWING OF BONES.

Lucy Burdette recommends 

Amy Pershing

 's A Side of Murder, out February 23

Deborah Crombie recommends One Day in December by 

Josie Silver

Rhys Bowen recommends This Time Next Year We'll Be Laughing by 

Jacqueline Winspear

 and Possession by A. S. Byatt

Hank Phillippi Ryan recommends: INVISIBLE GIRL by 

Lisa Jewell,

 THE KINDEST LIE by 

Nancy Johnson,

 HER DARK LIES by 

JT Ellison,

 and ETERNAL by 

Lisa Scottoline.

And eight randomly chosen commenters won books from us!!! Yay!!! So here's yesterday's Poisoned Pen Galentine's Day livestream winners.

Dottie MacKeen - Hank's First to Lie

Pamela Cardone - Rhys's Last Mrs. Summer

Stacy Taylor Black - Julia's Hid From Our Eyes

Lorraine Caprio - Deborah Crombie

Dianne Freeman - Hallie's Careful What You Wish For

Kate Engelke Baxter - Lucy's The Key Lime Crime

Judy Singer - Jenn's Paris is Always a Good Idea

Dru Ann Love - Mr. Impossible

Winners, you can email me jennmck at yahoo dot com and I'll forward your email to your Red so they can get your address and mail your book from the Poisoned Pen. Congratulations!

Valentine's Day

LUCY BURDETTE: Sometimes I think Valentine’s Day is a hokey, trumped up way to sell limp roses infused with too many chemicals, and mediocre chocolate. And jacked up restaurant prices for prix fixe menus that make married people swallow hard and single people feel lousy. 

On the other hand, John proposed to me on Valentine’s Day 26 years ago so that’s a super special memory. He wrote a poem for the occasion and ordered a bottle of frog’s leap wine to celebrate taking the plunge. 

This year we doing something unusual – we’ve become small-scale sponsors of the new show going up at the Studios of Key West. Undying Love, written by local musician/writer Ben Harrison, tells the quirky Key West story of Count von Cosel, a radiologist at the Marine Hospital who x-rayed the chest of the lovely Elena Milagro Hoyos and fell madly in love. In 1933, almost two years after her death, the count removed Hoyos' body from its tomb, and lived with the corpse at his home for seven years until this was discovered by her relatives and reported to the authorities in 1940. 


Is that a Valentine’s Day story or what? We can’t wait to see what he’s done with it!

Reds, how do you feel about Valentine’s Day? Will you be doing something special?

INGRID THOFT: I hate to sound cynical, but I definitely think that Valentine’s Day is a holiday made up by greeting card companies.  My husband and I have never celebrated it, but this this reflects our approach to marriage, which is that you should make your spouse feel special every day in small ways.  What’s romantic in my book?  When I made passing mention of the pain of tending my hardboiled eggs (first world problem, I know), and the next day a Dash Egg Cooker showed up on our doorstep.  I love my egg cooker!  Romance to me is paying attention to my hubby every day and doing things to make his life easier and more joyful. We’re not perfect at it, but we’ve been together 26 years and married for 17 of those, so we’re doing something right!

HALLIE EPHRON: Oh, I love Valentine's Day. I used to send candy (red hots, candy hearts with sayings on them BE MINE and LOVE YOU... ) in the kids' lunch bags, a big deal because we almost never had candy in the house. I get a homemade card from my husband which I cherish more than any flowers or cards he could give me.

I'm awful at giving, much better at receiving. But a few years ago I bought him a pair of bright red fleece bedroom slippers and left them on the floor on his side of the bed on Valentine's Day morning. Here's the card I got the next Valentine's day.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Oh, you all, I have no idea. We did a story once about how much the prices are pumped up for Valentines', and the results were so dramatically gouge-y that I was incredibly dismissive of the whole idea. But, little candy heart with sayings on them? Yeah, I like those.  Still, the holiday always reminds me of grade-school trauma, when it was all about who go the most cards from classmates, and I was so stressed about it. And yeah,  Ingrid, I agree. Every day should be Valentines Day.

You see how wishy-washy I am about this. Because, yes, it's manipulative and stressful. But if there's a day that reminds people to love each other, or that gives people (like Lucy's John) a platform to do something romantic, what's not to like? 

JENN McKINLAY: Well, I love chocolate so it goes without saying that I love me some Valentine's Day See's Candy - soft centers, if you're asking. The Hub and Hooligans usually make the trek to pick out the box (and get free samples) and then they splurge for a plant (I love plants) and they each give me a card. I have to say they are all very good at writing a heartfelt sentiment, so those are saved because I think they have a competition going to see who can make me cry (happy tears). In return, for the Hooligans, I give a card and candy and some cash and for the Hub, a card and a gift card to whatever his bookstore of the moment is. So, we keep it simple and maybe Hallmark is the generator of it, but I do love my box of See's and my plants (I haven't killed any yet except for one very uncooperative orchid), and my cards, which I cherish.

RHYS BOWEN: We've never really celebrated Valentine's Day in a big way. Certainly not eaten out as you don't get good service. I expect we'll cook a lovely meal at home: filet mignon and lobster tail sounds good at the moment. But as I posted last week we have this ongoing Valentine's joke in which John brings out the same balloon and roses from the dollar store every year. Amazingly the balloon still hasn't gone down after ten years.

DEBORAH CROMBIE:  So, my hubby being of the "hokey holiday" opinion, I decided years ago to buy myself flowers, which works out just fine--especially now that we have a Trader Joe's nearby and I buy myself flowers every week! He is, however, not averse to a little home-made celebration, so I usually cook something special but easy, and if I make to our local La Madeleine, I buy us a mini heart-shaped cheese cake. I couldn't imagine a nicer Valentine's Day--and I certainly can't imagine wanting to fight the restaurant crowds!

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Fortunately, Ross and I were never big on Valentines Day, so it's not going to be one of the hard-to-bear holidays for me this year. I recall a few memorable ones - when my first college boyfriend brought me a big pot of white chrysanthemums instead of cut flowers, because I could enjoy them longer. What a sweetheart he was. With Ross - I hate to say this - the most memorable VDay was a decade or so back. I was trying to lose weight, and he gave me a big heart-shaped box of sugar-free chocolates. My friend Mary dropped in that day and we opened up the box and proceeded to gab and drink tea and stuff ourselves with the excellent chocolates - until one of us happened to turn the box over. "Consume in moderation," the underside warned. "Chocolates may have a laxative effect."

Boy, did they. Ross's romantic Valentines evening turned into me in the bathroom with a glass of water and a stack of magazines.



LOL Julia! And Reds, we want you to know that you are all our Valentines! No sugar-free chocolates, either. xoxo

Flora Church is the winner of Susan Meissner's book last week--please contact Rhys to make the exchange. And Margie Bunting is the winner of Tina Kashian's ebook--she will send this when the book releases on 2/27!

Rhys anticipates Valentine's Day

RHYS BOWEN:

Since Valentine’s Day is approaching I thought I’d write a piece about my adorable husband, who is definitely from another planet. You’ve heard about men are from Mars, right? Mine is from a galaxy far far away…

I love him, but …..

I know what I am getting for Valentine's Day. Ten years ago when we moved into this condo he went to the dollar store and bought a heart shaped balloon and plastic roses. He gave them to me that year and every year since. Unfortunately the balloon still has not gone down. So I know he'll dust it off again.

For Christmas three of our four children gave us Alexa. Have you seen that video of the old man and Alexa?  Just like John.  He addresses her like this, “Alexa, would you please see if you can find Benny Goodman and play him for us?”

The sentence is too long and confused and she shuts off.

We say “John, you don’t need to say please. She’s a machine. You say Alexa, play Benny Goodman!”

But he doesn’t get machines.  We were driving with the GPS in the car when we first came to Phoenix. It said “Take a left on Bell.”  He wanted Greenway so he turned left on Greenway. GPS doesn’t like this.

“Make a right on 40^th Street.”

He keeps on driving.

Recalculating. Turn right on 39^th Street.

Recalculating. Turn right on 38^th Street.   And so on. When we got to Twentieth Street I said, “For God’s sake turn it off.”

And he said, “SHE’S GOT TO LEARN.”

ME. SCREAMING “SHE’S A MACHINE. SHE WON’T LEARN.”

You can see what I put up with!  But there is more that makes me think he’s from a different planet.

 He always is the first reader of my new books. He read the upcoming Georgie book and I’ve written, “To quote Jane Bennett ‘how shall I bear such happiness?’  and he said WHO IS JANE BENNETT?

I’m sorry but that should be grounds for divorce. Right above mental cruelty. It’s not as if he’s not been exposed to Jane Bennett. The Colin Firth edition of Pride and Prejudice has played in our house with monotonous regularity. Our granddaughters, when asked what movie I should put on for them, always answered “Pride and Prejudice, please.” They grew up quoting “Other way, Mr. Collins.”

But my husband, alas, has been oblivious to this. And the other day I was watching the Princess Bride and he told me he had never seen it and thought it silly.

Inconceivable. Again grounds for divorce.

He does have other quirks that make me think he has not actually joined the twenty-first century. I needed cellophane to gift wrap a basket for an auction. “You don’t need to go out,” he said. “We have some.”  And he produced… drop roll please…. Glad wrap.

On another occasion (and I think I’ve shared this one) I told him I would be going to some cold places on my book tour and needed to buy some tights. “You can borrow mine,” he said.

“You wear tights?” I asked, slightly surprised because I hadn’t noticed any signs of cross-dressing.

“Of course.”  He went to his closet and appeared with… another drum roll…a pair of men’s long johns. The fleecy kind.

I think actually that his brain was frozen right after World War II, either that or he really is from another planet. Or do all men think differently? Other examples please!

My Punny Valentine!

Happy Valentine's Day!

JENN MCKINLAY: It's kind of ironic, at least to me, that I am moving into writing women's fiction/romantic comedies in addition to my mysteries this year and, yet, I am not a traditionally romantic sort of girl. Flowers are pretty, jewelry is nice, dinner out is terrific, chocolate is (quite frankly) mandatory, but if you really want to win my word-girl heart, it's all about the card. In fact, you can pretty much skip everything else by getting me the right (or would that be write?) card. And I am not looking for poetic declarations of undying love (gag). Oh, no, it's all about the puns, baby, and the punnier the better!

This one is eggcellent!

Dare I say it's super or heroic?

Bookmark this one as my personal favorite (librarian!).













Okay, Reds, I'll stop now. I promise. Since you now know cards and puns are my weakness, tell me what is your preferred Valentine treat? And, do you consider yourself a romantic?

Because I have never met a BuzzFeed or Cosmo quiz, that I did not feel compelled to take, I can help you with this quiz: How-romantic-are-you?

Spoiler alert: I scored a solid NO, YOU ARE NOT.  LOL. How about you?

Happy Mother's Day!

DEBORAH CROMBIE: My dear hubby has a thing about not celebrating what he calls "Hallmark

Holidays" which include Valentine's Day and Mother's Day. (However, he has no strenuous objection if someone does something nice for him on Father's Day...)

Fortunately my daughter doesn't share his view. My daughter and I belong to the "any excuse to celebrate" club, as did my mom. The three of us always did something fun or special, even if the last few years for my mom that meant Mother's Day Tea at the nursing home.

This will be our first year without her, but my daughter and I have plans to have a late Sunday lunch/early supper (I'll be flying in from California) at our favorite Mexican restaurant. We are  hoping for good patio weather, and will have guacamole, and shrimp brochette, and Mambo Limos, which are topnotch frozen margaritas with a swirl of Chambord. Husbands are included, even mine, who gets to be designated driver, his reward for being testy.

But I say why not take every opportunity to celebrate those we love--mothers, fathers, sons and daughters, special aunts and uncles and grandparents and friends?

REDS, do you celebrate "Hallmark Holidays?"

 

HALLIE EPHRON: Mother's Day I get flowers from my sweet husband (tulips, please...) and calls from my kids. On Father's Day I cook something special for Jerry (pate, or lobster bisque, or gateau St. Honore...) and HE gets calls from the kids.  

If Hallmark depended on us it would go out of business. My husband draws cards. I get one for Christmas, New Year, Valentine's Day, Groundhog Day, and my birthday. And I've kept every single one he's ever made me. Here's one he did for me on an anniversary... just to give you a taste.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I am terrible about Hallmark Holidays. I forget family members' birthdays, I don't celebrate my own anniversary, and I had to look up right now to see that Mother's Day, is, in fact, May 11 (I'm writing this several days ahead, and a good thing, too! I can still send my mom something!) Seriously, internet ordering and overnight shipping are the only things that save me from being a total pariah. I just seem to be missing the part of my brain that says "This date! Be happy now!" Maybe I've got holidaylexia? I also don't decorate for Halloween, Easter or Independence Day.

That being said, I usually send my mother flowers or a flowering plant in Mother's Day, since her condo rules prevent her from doing much of the gardening she used to enjoy. In my household, Ross browbeats the kids into creating handmade cards, which I confess I do cherish. Some flowers from our garden, which is always beautiful this time of year, he makes lunch after church, and we call it good.

RHYS BOWEN: My husband didn't believe in Mother's Day, since it wasn't celebrated in England. He thought it was one of those commercial holidays. When my favorite aunt was still alive she would send the children money for me to celebrate English Mothering Sunday in March. I would be lured out of the house while the kids prepared an excellent tea. It was a lot of fun. Since my kids are now grown they have been very sweet about remembering Mother's Day. In fact Dominic is coming over to cook me a special dinner on Sunday.

And my kids always made handmade cards for everything, Julia. I also have a box of them which I treasure. This is great as John is hopeless about holidays. The day before our anniversary he'll say "Oh, I suppose you want a card?"  How I wished for that fantasy husband who would show up with arms full of roses, strew the bed with rose petals, light candles, play romantic music, whisk me off to Hawaii.... does he exist?

SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL: We do NOT celebrate the holidays in our house with Hallmark cards, ever. Having the kiddo around certainly makes holidays more fun, so my husband and I have split the difference — he does all the crafts, etc. and I make the food. Divide and conquer! But no Hallmark cards or fancy presents, no. No crazy outlays of money. And I'm perfectly happy with that.

Miss Edna and I are absolutely delighted with our homemade cards on Mother's Day as well as a brunch (where we don't have to do anything but sit and look pretty — the guys will clean and cook). Lemon cake has become a tradition — let's see if the guys whip one up this year.

I don't even buy cards (for any holiday) anymore — do you know the mark-up on a greeting card is 400% Save a tree! Use an e-card! (I like paperlesspost.com.)

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I've said to Jonathan for years--I absolve you of any responsibility for Hallmark holidays. It seems so artificial -- if the commercial universe has to bop you over the head to remind you to tell someone you love them, that's too bad.

And my mother--in this photo, we are at my fifth (or so, what do you think?) birthday (NOT a hallmark holiday, I might add)--used to say: Every day is Mother's Day." I can still hear her saying it!

(And how did you like the punctuation in that sentence?)

DEBS: Oh, my gosh, Hank, that is the most adorable picture! And your mom was gorgeous--we can tell where you get your looks!

I totally agree with your mom, every day is Mother's Day, but I'm still happy for an excuse for a little special time with my lovely daughter. Every year I feel more and more blessed to have been cherished by my mother and my grandmother, and I hope I've given the same gift to my daughter.

Readers, we wish you the best today, however you may spend it.

What says I LOVE YOU in your house?

HALLIE EPHRON: One of my favorite things about Valentine's Day is that it I can cut out hearts. Like snowflakes, even for the coloring-within-the-lines-challenged, hearts are hard to screw up.
When I was little we used to make our own valentines. This involved buying doilies (do they still sell doilies?) and construction paper and glitter. Lots of glitter. And I'd make -- a mess. But oh, was it fun.

Then I went through my crocheting period. (Like Picasso's blue period?) For Valentine's day people I loved got long, narrow (never have had a great attention span) scarves with long fringes (I was good at fringes).

These days, Valentine's Day finds me in the kitchen where it doesn't matter if you can cut straight or color within the lines. What says I love you quite like duck a l'orange and pineapple upside down cake?

How have you evolved as a valentine giver?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Oh, heart-cutting. what a team--yes, I can do it to perfection. (I forgot about that on Monday, when we were listing our skills. I can also do basic origami.) 

ANYWAY.  I was big on Valentines Day in college, I used to make incredibly elaborate Valentines, envelopes full of HUNDREDS of tiny hearts I had cut out, with instructions to hold the envelope by one corner, and flip the contents into the air.

Very effective.

I love Jonathan but I am not big on Valentines day. Why is this?  ("Each day is Valentine's"...you know the song.)

RHYS BOWEN: Valentine's day was not big in England. Maybe that was because most of us went to single sex schools.

I remember getting a valentine's card from a boyfriend and that was lovely. But as for crocheting anyone something--I don't think so. And I'm married to a hopelessly British and unromantic male. About now he'll say "Oh, I suppose you'll want a card or flowers or something."

But we also have evolved to food. A good home cooked meal--rack of lamb or lobster and champagne. This year John doesn't have to do anything, as I'm speaking at a conference in San Francisco.

(Hallie here: I hope that card doesn't offend anyone. I think it's so funny. And of course it's from ages ago...)

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Rhys, are you sure we aren't sharing a husband? Rick doesn't like being "made" as he puts it, to do anything, especially by greeting card companies.  He's only ever bought me flowers under duress, so I learned years ago to buy them for myself so my feelings wouldn't be hurt.

Usually I cook a nice dinner for the two of us, but this year we celebrated an early Valentine's Day on Tuesday by going to see a movie at our favorite theater (which includes a yummy dinner, served to you in your reclining seat with your very own snuggle blanket.) Tonight I think we will do our usual Friday night date--Chinese/Thai takeout and movies at home in front of the fire.

I suppose when you think about it, that's more romantic than flowers and a card once a year...

LUCY BURDETTE: Oh my gosh, I hope you aren't sharing a husband! What a rhubarb that would be if one of you finds out...

Hallie, I'll take the pineapple upside down cake too! We never go out on VD--because it seems like the same thing they do on New Year's, raise the prices and decrease the quality.

This year we've already celebrated with food too--upstairs at Louie's Backyard, which is a lovely, but expensive restaurant that has a second floor serving tapas. You would swoon over the truffled French fries with a cheese dipping sauce! And Asian short ribs to die for...and roasted cauliflower...and lobster pot pie.

SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL: The only Valentine's Day card I really want is season two of Netflix's House of Cards.

The husband is teaching three weeks of puppetry masterclasses in Australia, but even if he were around we'd keep in low-key. My view on V-Day is that it's a commercial holiday used to guilt people into buying flowers and chocolates and overpriced meals. However, I'm not completely anti-Cupid — a fun part of being a mom to a younger kid is helping make the homemade valentines and decorating heart cookies with pink and red frosting. (A few of which I will be eating during House of Cards...)

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I am the unromantic one in the family. If it were up to Ross, Valentine's would be flowers and dinner out, but my attitude tends to be "I know we love each other, why do we have to spend money (plus the extra places and florists charge for the holiday) proving it?"

I'm writing this while sitting in our mechanic's waiting room; I think I'm going to tell Ross he's getting a tie bar replacement and alignment for Valentines. Nothing says "I love you" like a well-maintained car.

In past years, I would be sitting in the kitchen helping Smithie/The Boy/Youngest with their cards for classmates. We didn't do homemade cards - I'm not that kind of mother, I'm afraid - but there were always stickers to stick or candy to tape on. I recall one year when I picked up this...cardboard contraption...that folded into a box into which you put a Hershey's kiss. Of course, it was too complicated for the kids, and I wound up folding 40+ tiny boxes all evening. Maybe that's what killed the romance for me?

Oh, and Hallie, I think "One of my favorite things about Valentine's Day is that it I can cut out hearts," would make a GREAT opening line for a serial killer book!

HALLIE: ICK! Wouldn't it, though!?

Are you a heart cutter or a card maker... or do you say it with flowers and a nice dinner out? (Love the card on the right - perfect for mystery authors, yes? It's from NobleWorksCards.com.)

Desire Under the Tums: Valentine's Tips for the Middle-Aged

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Happy Valentine's Day! Every newspaper, magazine and website will be offering a Valentine theme today, and we, dear readers, are no different. Except for this: much of the advice proffered for Valentine's Day is oriented to, shall we say, the novices of love. People dating, or wanting to date, or hoping to make a commitment. Newlyweds and harried young parents wondering if the bloom is off the rose (1) 

Where are the love secrets for those "of a certain age," as the French say? Why, right here. If you're already certainly aged, you know things are different. "Feeling hot in bed" means it's time to ask your doctor about hormones. When your man is getting up in the middle of the night, it's to go to the bathroom. Forthwith, some tips and tricks to keep things popping (and I don't mean your knees.)


1. Take your glasses off. Mother Nature has created a beautiful plan for us: just as our faces start sprouting unidentifiable spots (2), mystery hairs and crow's feet, we lose the ability to see anything closer than two feet away without the aid of powerful lenses. Take those glasses off and watch your beloved's care-worn visage blur into the same fresh-faced youth you met at the disco.


2. Speaking of mystery hairs, most of us ladies know what to do if we want to defoliate. The same can't be said for the men in our lives. Guys who at twenty-five are as smooth as Michael Phelps become Yeti look-alikes at fifty.  If you find flinging your arms around your husband reminds you of bear wrestling, slip him a gift certificate to a local spa for some manscaping. (3) If he resists going, pull out the beard trimmer and tell him to lie down, it won't hurt a bit. (4)


3. Of course, hitting middle age means discovering sometimes it does hurt a bit when you lie down.(5) There's nothing that can douse the flame of love quicker than hearing something go SNAP in the heat of the moment. Not to mention the bad knee, dicey shoulder or tricky lower back you and your beloved are probably sporting. How to get around the fact you're falling apart at the joints? Try gazing into each others eyes and toasting as you down your prophylactic ibuprofen. Consider making "Ben Gay" part of your foreplay.(6) And take a leaf from college kids: ask before you proceed. Questions like "Does this hurt?" "Can you bend like that?" and "Mind if we just forget it and watch Elementary?" will help things run much more smoothly.


4. Finding privacy for those intimate moments can be a challenge if you have teens still at home or twenty-something "rebounders" (7). When they were toddlers, you could stick them in front of a Barney tape and dash off for a twenty minute quickie. Now, they stay up later than you do, and they know about S-E-X (8). What to do? It's difficult to order them outside to play in the fresh air when they're 19 and 22. Try bribing them with money to go to the mall. Some couples find it helpful to play loud, teen-repelling music in their bedrooms. Try 1980's country. (9) A final alternative? Be truthful. A friend of mine swore he could clear the house in under three minutes by loudly announcing, "Mom and I are going upstairs to have sex now."


5. Don't forget the little, tender moments that create a sense of love and intimacy. Consider taking your morning pills side-by-side together. Help each other remember what the hell you came into the kitchen for. Compliment your partner on his sexy relaxed-fit Dockers or her stylin' orthopedic shoes. Take the time to text something besides "Pls pick up dogfd, lghtblbs on way home." Marvel together about the up-and-coming generation's inability to walk three steps without sticking earbuds in their heads (10).


Despite that fact that you're getting weekly AARP solicitations in the mail and you still don't understand Google+, these can, indeed, be the good years. Secure in each other, you don't need to sweat the cards, the flowers, or the overpriced Valentine's Day dinner. Simply take a moment to let your sweetie know that, in your eyes, he or she is the same sweet person you fell for all those years ago (11).  Then whisper the words your beloved is longing to hear:

"Want to watch Elementary tonight?"


(1) It is. Just go with it for a few years.
(2) Go see the dermo.
(3) Of course, if you're a "bear daddy" fan, this could be a huge plus. 
(4) Who knows? You may find out you both like playing The Naughty Inmate and the Stern Prison Matron.
(5) And not in that 50 SHADES OF GRAY way, either.
(6) But for God's sakes, watch where you put it.
(7) Yes, they have their own name, now. Lord help us all.
(8) Although they still suspect their parents have only done it as many times as necessary to make a baby. If you adopted your child, he or she is happy to consider you may NEVER have had sex.
(9) This means, however, you'll have to learn to find Kenny Rogers singing "Lady" a turn-on.
(10) Seriously. What's up with that? 
(11) Pro tip: don't say, "You look weathered, like an old barn." Which is a real thing my husband said to me. And then had no idea why I got mad.