Saturday, June 27, 2015

HID FROM OUR EYES and Hot Red-Headed Men II: The Redheadegeddon

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: It's back to the scene in HID FROM OUR EYES with Officer Kevin Flynn undercover. I gave you a piece from it last February. Here, he's finally meeting up with the drug dealer he's been trying to get to. Plus, of course, hot ginger men, because it's always a good day for hot ginger men!

Easy lifted his chin toward Kevin. “What's your story, kid?”

I was studying at t' university, but my money ran out.”
Easy's stone face cracked a little with surprise. “You're really Irish. I thought it was just because of the hair.”

Yeah.” Kevin rubbed at his red beard. “Because I wasn't enrolled anymore, my student visa expired, so I can't work legally. I need to make money, a lot of it, and this is somet'ing I'm good at.”

Why'nt you just go home?”

I can't.”

Why not?”

T'ats my business.” He had a reason, if he had to give it, but it was better to keep something hidden. A fake secret to distract from the real one.

You a cop?”
Kevin laughed. “No. Are you?”
Easy pulled a slim box about the size of Brock's cigarette carton out of his back pocket. He flicked a button on the device and began tracing Kevin's outline with it, like a particularly attentive TSA agent. Lights on the front of the box began cascading as Easy reached his hip pocket. “You got a phone in there?”
Kevin fished it out. It was a dupe phone, filled with numbers that all led to the same three people at the HIDTA office.

Turn it off.” Kevin did so. Easy took it and handed it to Brock. “Take this and go stand by the kids over there.”

The Little Leaguers were playing maybe two hundred yards from them. Brock glanced at Kevin, then nodded. As he walked away, Easy continued his sweep of Kevin's body. When the box failed to light up again, he grunted his satisfaction and turned it off. “The cops don't wear actual wires no more, like in TV shows. It's all wifi, nowadays.”


I'll give you a unit of one hundred, on trial. I expect eight hundred back; that gives you a twenty per cent cut. If you can sell them for more'n a dime a pill, you keep the extra. If you can't get that much, I still get my cut. You gotta flush 'em down the john because the immigration guys are coming through the door, I still get my cut. Somebody knocks you over on the street and takes 'em--”

You still get your cut. I got it.” Kevin took a drag. “Do you have a time limit?”
Easy paused for a moment. “Why'nt you try to impress me, kid?”

I will.”

Easy looked for a moment as if he might smile. “Couple other rules. No selling to the blacks or the Latinos, they got their own people. Don't sample too much of the stock – the minute you look like you got a problem I'll cut you loose. Try not to sell to high schoolers – they're stupid enough to keep your number on their phones and next thing you know, the parents are giving you to the cops.”

I'm doing just fine in bars so far.”

Well, I guess that's natural for a Mick.”
Kevin smiled thinly. “How'll I get in touch wit' you?”

I'll get in touch with you. If I'm satisfied with your work, I'll give you a burner. You'll use that for business from then on.”

Right, then. The stock?”

You get Frat Boy and follow me. Oh, and Irish?” Kevin turned to him, and this time Easy did smile. “If you get any ideas about ripping me off and skipping back home to Leprechaun Land, know this. You will be dead before you get a chance to check your bags.”

Tell me what you think of the dialect. Too much? I want to give the flavor of an Irish accent without veering into absurdity.


Joan Emerson said...

Kevin has really come into his own as a police officer and certainly seems to have his undercover assignment well in hand. Here he reminds me of Russ, competent and in charge; Kevin Flynn's rookie days are far behind him.
Nevertheless, it's difficult not to worry for him just a bit . . . Easy is shrewd and I'm willing to bet he's definitely not making idle threats.

I didn't find the dialect troublesome at all; it seemed quite natural in this scene.
Thanks for this piece [and for the gorgeous guys!] . . . I am so anxious to read the rest of this story!

Hallie Ephron said...

Love the tension in this... and no the dialect isn't too much at all.

Mary Sutton said...

I thought the dialect was just right, Julia. And any day I get to start my morning with Hot Red-headed Men is a good day!

Susan Elia MacNeal said...

Starting the day with coffee and gingers.... Thanks, Julia! P.S. Dialect is great. Just enough.

Kaye Barley said...

Now, I must say, this was an enjoyable way to start my day. :-) Thank you for sharing the scene with us and now I'm even more impatient for the book!
Dialect - Just right.

Julia said...

I hope you all appreciate the time and effort I put in, slaving for hours over a hot computer, looking at pictures of gorgeous ginger men. All for you, dear Reds and readers.

Julia said...

And Joan, thanks for seeing a resemblance to Russ - that's what I was going for. Kevin's learned how to be a competent grown-up from his role model, the chief.

Ramona said...

I also wed a redhead. They are the cutest. I like Simon Pegg, myself.

Rumor has it Damian Lewis will be the next 007. Ginger Bond! I can dig it.

Jennifer Gray said...

The Irish is just enough. Mostly, with British Isles accents (including Welsh and Scots with the Irish) it's as much cadence as pronunciation and word choice. Irish English is just so much more lyrical than American English.

Kait said...

Delish! A wonderful start to the morning. Having grown around Irish speakers, I agree, the dialect is fine. You carried it off without parody. Jennifer has a point about the cadence and word choice. It gives a writer latitude to carry the accent and use standard spelling.

Hank Phillippi Ryan said...

Love this! I usually hate dialect, an can believe the accent if you just say (somehow) "with his Irish accent." But this taste of it is great. One just has to (I'm saying too much here, but whatever) get past the first instance, realize it's accent, and then you're fine to go on. At that point, you hear it, I think.. Hurray!

Deborah Crombie said...

Great scene, and loving Kevin, so confident in a scary situation. I think the dialect is just fine. The main thing is the rhythm of the speech.

Julia, can't wait to read this book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and thanks for the gingers. Always a treat.

WENDY said...

You had me at Damien Lewis.

Deb Romano said...

The dialect is just right. It's important to me, as a reader, that dialect not distract me from the story. Believe me, your use of dialect here did NOT distract me; on the contrary, I can't wait to read the book!

Kathy Reel said...

I tried to leave a lengthy comment earlier, and my laptop went off. Having a lot of trouble with it lately. So, here is my condensed version. I love the character of Kevin, and I've enjoyed watching him grow from a gangly insecure young man to a confident, take-charge man. Of course, now I am worried a out the dangerous situation he's involved in. Can't wait to read more, and the dialect sounds great to me. Thanks, Julia, for sharing this wonderful teaser!

Oh, and thanks, Julia, for all the hard work on the hot redheaded men pics. Much appreciated!

fourkidsri said...

I agree the dialect is spot-on. Enough to maintain the feeling of the accent in print, but not too much that it's difficult to read. CAN'T WAIT FOR THE FULL BOOK!!!!

Linda said...

Tried to leave a comment yesterday but it didn't work, hopefully it will today! Let me start by saying that I've read lots of your books and loved them and the characters, so please take what I say as just well meaning feedback from someone who enjoys your writing! I'm Irish and find the dialog very off putting. Not all Irish people drop their "th" or "t" sounds, but this feeds a stereotype.
Even if this character did, I don't think it's truly accurate. For example, I saw somewhere he said the word "t'inking". Now, if he was someone who'd drop the "h", he would also drop the "g" at the end and would say it something like t'inkin'. But that kind of dialog, with continually changed and inaccurate spelling to reflect it, I find totally distracting. And I'm not just saying that because you're writing with an "Oirosh" accent! I don't really understand the purpose of it, and find that it's usually something reserved for "bad guys" in books. Now I know Kevin is a good guy, but it's in the portrayal of a baddies that this is used. Can authors not just allude to the accent of someone without having to portray it in the way they write. Good guys in books will also have an accent, even if more "local" geographically, but this isn't portrayed in the written version of their speech.
Sorry if I seem critical, but you asked, and I can't let on it's not distracting and slightly annoying!

Grandma Cootie said...

Nice pictures, thanks :-).

Intriguing excerpt. A little too much with the dialect but possibly because it's just an excerpt. Sometimes as a reader you just have to get into the rhythm of the dialect and then it's fine and makes the character seem more authentic. Can't wait for more!