Thursday, January 19, 2017

Krista Davis on What Makes a Match

LUCY BURDETTE: Today I'm delighted to bring my dear friend Krista Davis to the Reds. She writes two wonderful cozy mystery series, including the Paws and Claws mysteries. Book 4 in the series, MISSION IMPAWSIBLE, will be out February 7. Welcome Krista! 

KRISTA DAVIS: Thank you for inviting me to Jungle Red today. I am thrilled to be here.

 Mission Impawsible releases on February 7th, just before Valentine’s Day, which is appropriate because it involves matters of the heart. More specifically, there’s a matchmaking event going on in Wagtail. It differs a little bit from the famous one in Ireland, because dogs and cats are helping bring their people together. Those of us who are devoted to our furry friends would love to meet a mate who feels the same way.

However, I’m a total mess when it comes to romance. So I started doing some research on what attracts people to each other. It’s a fascinating subject. Here’s a little quiz to find out how much you know. Just to help you along, these questions are about romantic long-lasting love, not one night stands.


1. When a person first meets someone, how long does it take to know if he/she is a potential mate?

A. 30 seconds to 4 minutes
B. 20 minutes
C. 24 hours
D. 1 week

2. Women are attracted to men who:

A. Dress like their fathers.
B. Drink (booze or no booze) like their fathers.
C. Smell like their fathers.
D. Sound like their fathers.

3. Women and men are generally attracted to:

A. wealthier mates.
B. better educated mates.
C. smarter mates.
D. mates of their own level of education and intelligence.


ANSWERS:

  1. You are correct if you selected A. 30 seconds to 4 minutes. It depends on the study in question, but most say we know in 30 seconds to 2 minutes whether a person could be a potential mate. When I read that, I thought it must mean that attraction is strictly physical. After all, what more could happen in 30 seconds? Turns out there’s a lot going on that we don’t even realize.

  1. C. Smell like their fathers is correct. That’s one of the things we may not be thinking about when we meet someone. But studies have shown that women are attracted to men who smell like dad. At first blush, it seems silly and even somewhat icky, but it’s logical that on a subconscious level, the familiar scent of a loving father might make a woman feel more comfortable with that potential mate.

  1. If you chose D, you are correct. In spite of stories about gold diggers, most of us marry someone of our same level of intelligence and education. In fact, most people marry someone from their own social group as well.


The truth is that when we meet someone, all kinds of unconscious processes kick in. My favorite example of this is the study that indicated women are attracted to the scent of men with an immune system different than their own. The theory is that such a mate produces stronger, healthier offspring.

How many times did one of your friends rave about some guy she met who left you cold? You just could not understand what she saw in him. Turns out her instincts might be telling her something! He’s not the guy for you, but he’s right for her.

I think all these processes have interesting implications for arranged marriages and for breeding animals. It makes me wonder if people and animals who chose their own mates produce stronger offspring.

Of course, in Mission Impawsible, there’s a matchmaker and meddling mamas to complicate things. Does anyone make a match? Yes. But it might not be who you expect.

Are you a matchmaker? Why or why not? And if yes, what's your most successful story? Krista will be giving away a signed copy of MISSION IMPAWSIBLE to one of today’s commenters!



 Krista is also the author of the NYT-bestselling Domestic Diva mystery series. You can find her here:

55 comments:

  1. Congratulations on the new book, Krista . . . as both a dog and a cat person, I think it sounds like great fun and I’m looking forward to reading it. I love the cover!

    I’m definitely not a matchmaker . . . . in the interest of true love [and not meddling in the affairs of others], I figure folks can find that perfect match all by themselves . . . .

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  2. Oh, my husband Jonathan and I have not been apart since the day we met! We both knew, instantly.
    I am a big big big matchmaker. I'm not sure it's ever truly worked. Couples I think would be perfect hardly ever agree with me :-)
    However, My first job in television, my mentor was a photographer who truly showed me the ropes. He was so terrific, I introduced him to my sister, and they got married.
    It was such a fabulous story! Except… They got divorced 10 years later. So much for that idea…
    As you see, I totally believe in knowing it instantly. Worked for me. :-)

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  3. Hmmm, not sure I believe in love at first sight, as I turned my John down the first time he called. Luckily he persisted and I came to my senses!

    I love trying to make matches. I try and try:). The only real success I've had so far was a business match, and that went smashingly well.

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  4. Gosh, it took me MONTHS to cave to the inevitability of my husband. Then I broke up with him. Then we got back together. Decades later it turns out to be one of the smartest things I've done.

    And women are attracted to men that smell like their fathers? That is creepy. Sooooo creepy.

    I've never matched mates but I have matched friends. Or tried to, many times. And I'm always surprised when it doesn't take... and delighted when it takes.

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  5. amy guillaume lindermanJanuary 19, 2017 at 8:59 AM

    tried once to set a friend up with a guy and it didn't work....never worked when friends did it for me, lol.

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  6. I'm lucky if I match socks correctly, nonetheless potential mates! I did well with my own but am hopeless choosing a mate for others

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  7. Krista, congrats on the new book--I'm in desperate need of something fun to read and this series looks purrfect! (Sorry, couldn't resist!).

    Best matchmaking effort? I once assigned two of my crew to dig a pit together--it turned out to be really deep--took them days and days to finish, often upside down--they've been married 15+ years now and have a son....

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    1. Now that's a wonderful matchmaking story LOL. How did you meet? Digging a pit…

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  8. I am so not a matchmaker. I think people will get along and...not so much.

    My father is a smoker, so of course he smells like cigarettes. My husband is not a smoker. Maybe there's a scent under the cigarette smoke? Weird.

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  9. I agree that the scent of the father is creepy. But I've been wondering if it goes back to a tribal thing, when it was safer to stick to your own tribe or something?

    Cigarettes would probably throw off the whole scent issue unless women whose fathers smoke are more open to partners who smell of smoke?

    I was quite surprised to learn all these things about scent. We don't sniff each other like dogs do!

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  10. Great story, FChurch. LOL! One wonders what was going on in that pit!

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  11. Congrats on the new book, Christa!

    I knew my hubby was the one very quickly. It's been twenty-five years since we first dated, so I think my instincts were sound!

    I've never tried to be a matchmaker. My parents met on a blind date, though, so I'm certainly in favor of the practice!

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  12. And I just spelled your name wrong, Krista! Apologies!! It's still early on the west coast!

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  13. I absolutely love this series and Can't wait to read it. Thanks for the chance to win Krista!!

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  14. Looking forward to reading this series, Krista!! Thanks for the chance to win!

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  15. Garry and I met in preschool. Went to different k-8 and met each other in 9th grade. (We didn't remember preschool ) we split up for who knows why and went our separate ways. When my Dad fied, the last conversation we had he wanted to know what ever happened to Garry. Dad thought he was the only one for me. 9 years later we reconnected. He is so very much like my Dad. In reality we have actually known each other if we count preschool, 51 years.

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  16. Such a fascinating topic, Krista!

    I knew instantly that my husband was a good fit for me, almost before I knew anything about him. It took me three years to convince him, though! To be fair about it, he'd been widowed at a ridiculously young age (26), and was still emotionally raw, when we met two years later. It was a lot like taming a skittish wild animal, there for awhile.

    As for matchmaking, I've never been much good at it. My husband, though, has an unerringly wrong sense of matching. If he says two people will never get along, they will be together forever, until death do them part. It's really comical.

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  17. Oh heck no! I don't even try to get in the middle of that kind of stuff! Ha!j

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  18. With me I didn't want anything to do with my husband at first! I had to be convinced. We were married 32 years.

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  19. I am not a matchmaker, although I see how some people might work with each other. I never really know about the little things...the things hidden that just click. For me, my husband and I clicked right off. He was interested in the artistic manner I designed my fingernail polish. However, he was involved with someone else, a teacher who happened to also work at the school I was at. But when they broke up and he asked me out, we were never apart from that point and 28 years later. We have clicked! Don't tell him I always thought of us as 'soulmates.' He thinks it 'hooey.' but you can't discount how close we are.

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  20. Congrats on MISSION IMPAWSIBLE, Krista! (Are you good at puns, or do you get help with titles from your editor?)

    I'm a firm believer in mixing and matching genes when it comes to animals. Except for Louie, every dog we've ever had has been a mutt, and a better bunch of canines couldn't be found. (Which is not to say that everyone shouldn't control their pet's fertility. Spray and neuter, folks, spray and neuter!)

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  21. A. 30 seconds to 4 minutes
    B. 20 minutes
    C. 24 hours
    D. 1 week
    Not sure about the 30 seconds to 4 minutes. Sure, you might decide He's the one in that quick time, and you may be right. But what happens in the next 20 minutes, 24 hours or week can easily change your decision in a hurry.

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  22. My husband and I met at work -- we had offices across the hall from each other and both worked for our Dads (who it turned out were furtively conspiring with the whole building to get the two of us together)! I just asked him how long it took him to know that I was the one, and he said 2 seconds -- definitely a keeper, and we've been married 23 years. I once had an abysmal experience at matchmaking, so I have never tried again -- also I was the last of my friends to get married, so that kind of left me off the hook!

    I can't wait to read Mission Impawsible, Krista -- I love everything about Wagtail!

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  23. Not a matchmaker. Asking for trouble. I hang in and support. That's my spot!

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  24. no I am not a matchmaker. thanks for chance. janngrogan@yahoo.com

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  25. What a fun little quiz, Krista! I actually answered them correctly, which surprised me. Even though I got the answer correct for the scent of your father, I had to laugh at my picking out my husband on that basis, which I didn't. My father had what would have been considered a peculiarity when I was growing up. He liked women's perfume/cologne, more specifically Estee Lauder Youth Dew. I remember shopping in the local department store with a friend before Christmas one year and purchasing a bottle of the Youth Dew. My friend asked if that's what my mother liked, and to save the trouble of explaining, I just said yes, which wasn't a lie. My mother liked the scent, too, and my father didn't use it all the time, so I was really killing two birds with one stone (ew, I just thought how awful that phrase sounds).

    And, no, I'm not a matchmaker. I wouldn't want that responsibility.

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  26. I don't believe in love at first sight. I believe in lust at first sight. But love is a choice and takes time.
    rachaelabrams317@gmail.com

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  27. Hi Krista! I love your title and the idea for the book!

    And I got all your questions right:-)
    I fell madly in love with my hubby at first sight--or maybe it was smell... So ridiculous. We were teenagers and I'm almost four years older. We went out for about seven years, broke up, I married my ex, then about fourteen years after that (when I was divorced!) we got together again and have now been married for almost twenty-three years.

    Did I just read somewhere that Bruce Willis and Demi Moore got back together? So Rick and I aren't the only ones.

    I can't remember ever having tried match-making. Probably a good thing!

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  28. No, I don't try to make matches for others, and don't want them doing it for me. I was absolutely bored out of my mind the one blind date two very good friends (one male, one female) set up for me once years ago. And, even though I was definitely a "daddy's girl", I don't associate any particular smells with him.

    I am looking forward to the release of Mission Impawsible and waiting for it as patiently as possible!

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  29. I knew it the first time I saw him - we didn't actually meet for another couple of months! We'll be celebrating our 39th wedding anniversary this Saturday.

    I'm not a matchmaker, although I did meet my future daughter-in-law several months before she and my son started seeing each other - in a bookstore. We shared a bond over our mutual love for Tamora Pierce's teen fantasies.

    Absolutely looking forward to Mission Impawsible!

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  30. Congratulations! Happy book birthday, Krista Davis.

    I saw your books at my local library and have been meaning to read them. Definitely will do that soon :-) I just printed a list of your books from cozy mystery dot com.

    The first book in the Paws and Claws series is Murder, She Barked. I thought of "Murder, She Wrote" TV series with Angela Lansbury. She was Miss Marple in a mystery movie with Liz Taylor.

    Love the title Mission Impawsible. I have this image of a cat /or a dog pressing the tape recorder saying "you have a mission...this will self destruct in 5 seconds".

    Regarding romance, this is really tough because the timing is wrong.

    For me, it is true about the scent. I notice some scents are a total turn off! I like scents that bring back happy memories for me.

    I do not try to make matches for others and do not want them doing it for me. However, I did introduce two friends who eventually dated each other and got married. Yes, they are still married. I introduced them as friends in a social setting. I am sure that happens to many of us.

    Diana

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  31. Hi, Krista, This was fascinating. As an animal lover, I adore this series and as a food lover, I adore your Diva series. I never would have guessed the answer to question number one. I was looking for option E) A year or more. LOL - but that's just me, apparently.
    Multiple series are tough to juggle, do you ever get your series confused?

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  32. My husband, who had been watching me from afar for 3 months, introduced himself on a Friday night, proposed on Sunday, presented me with a ring 6 weeks later and married exactly 6 months from. The night we met. Best decision I ever made!!!!! That was 1995!!!! Not a matchmaker but did the BEST JOB for myself!!!

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  33. When I met my husband-to-be we were both college freshmen. We clicked instantly. All was not smooth. We had our separations-war,family illness, moving to a different state to finish school. But we made it back together again and have been married for 44 years. Good grief, that's a long time! As for matchmaking,no. You just never know what works for different people.

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  34. My husband and I met at a haunted house that he was working at in October of that year and we were married in December of the same year and will be married for 18 years this year.
    I am definitely not a match maker. I let my friends pick their own mates and make their own mistakes or not if that it ends up being.
    tiggercat24alisha@yahoo.com

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  35. Pat D,

    Agree with you that we never know what works for different people.

    Diana

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  36. I'm not a matchmaker. I figure it's not my business trying to set others up, that if it's going to happen for someone, it'll happen in its own time. I just try and be there when it doesn't work out or say congratulations when it does.
    robbfan141729@yahoo.com

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  37. Wow, so many people don't try to make matches. I thought more people did that. I have two people in mind who would hate each other if they were set up on a date, but if they met each other without any pressure, I think they would fit together so well!

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  39. A good friend set up my husband and me. She, her boyfriend, her best friend and I all worked on a project together, and I think she figured if Matt and I were together it would give her more time with her boyfriend. And...yeah. It worked. Really well, actually, we've been married for ages and so have they.

    The wording on that first question is key, I think. It talks about sizing people up as potential mates, not The One. Haven't we all looked at a guy we've just met and thought "hmm, he's kind of interesting..."? (Or conversely, "Oh, he** no!!")

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  40. I just remembered that I did recently introduce two friends to one another. He's been widowed for just over a year, and she's been divorced several years. They went out and had a long afternoon together at least twice, and were calling one another, but I'm afraid to find out what else has happened (they live in a different state).

    So maybe a half match?

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  41. Hooray for a new mystery in Wagtail! I got 2 out of the 3 quiz questions right, but I'm no matchmaker! I've been married for 11 years, but I don't claim to know what others would want in a potential mate. :)

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  42. Hi Krista! Congratulations on your upcoming release! I am not a matchmaker in any way, shape or form. Loved the survey questions. My daddy always wore Old Spice aftershave & whenever I was in the same room with any man who was wearing it, I was instantly attracted. Sure did love how that smelled. Thanks for a chance to win!

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  43. I can hardly wait to read this next book. I definitely am NOT a matchmaker. Also I don't quite fit the mold of the questions---you would have to substitute Grandfather for Father.
    suefarrell.farrell@gmail.com

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  44. I'm ready for this book. I've had it preordered for months.
    I'm not really a matchmaker. My attempts never seem to work out so I gave up on it.

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  45. Tried once...was a horrible failure LOL.

    parkeremma2003 at yahoo dot com

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  46. Congratulations on your new book. I can't wait to read it. Fingers crossed. Thanks for the chance to win a copy. I am not a matchmaker.

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  47. I'm looking forward to your book release. Love this series. i am not a matchmaker. Relationships are challenging enough without interference.

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  48. Congrats on your new release! I can't wait to read this book. I am definitely not a matchmaker. I think it's better for a couple to find each other.

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  49. I am definitely NOT a matchmaker. I've been married for 44 yrs but at the time, dating was not some thing I was good at, much less trying to match others. I would have welcomed,during my dating years, some one trying to do matchmaking for me. dbahn(at)iw(dot)net

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  50. No matchmaking for me. It bites you in the backside too often! LOL Can't wait to read this new book. Animals know more about you & what we need than we do. doward1952(at)yahoo(dot)com

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  51. I love the Paws & Claws series! Let's see, I didn't do very well with this quiz, and some of the answers were surprising.
    I am not a matchmaker for I am unable to even find a match for me! (Which may explain why I failed this quiz.)
    myrifraf (at) gmail (dot) com

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  52. I got all the answers right. I love to try my hand at matchmaking. I have three couples that I have set up and now they are married with kids. It is a wonderful talent to have. utaker555(at)gmail(dot)com

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  53. Thank you for the giveaway! I have never been successful with matchmaking and I definitely do not believe in love at first sight. I love this series and can't wait to read Mission Impawsible. smmolloy1105(at)yahoo(dot)com

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