Saturday, January 12, 2019

What I'd Do For Beauty


What I’d do for beauty.
RHYS BOWEN: One sees the darndest things on Facebook. This week I saw a video of a woman getting a snail facial. That’s right—she was letting snails slither all over her face, lots of them, over her eyelids, lips…. Yuck.


Watch the video: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/01/snail-facial-skincare-treatment_n_5064790.html

Proponents claim that it's like micro-needling and that their slime contains anti-oxidents, anti-bacterial properties etc etc. The treatment is being offered in UK for fifty pounds a go. (quicker and easier to go out into the garden, methinks)

And I found myself thinking that there was no way I’d let snails slither over me. I’d rather stay unbeautiful. Which got me to thinking about what I would do for beauty. I’ve had enough facials. Usually I find them a waste of time. I lie there, while they put cucumbers over my eyes, and smother other sorts of gook onto my cheeks and I find myself thinking “I should be writing. I could be doing the laundry.”

I’ve tried microdermabrasion, and various other silly things like light therapy and radio waves and electric current. They do make the skin a little smoother and nicer, I agree. Not that I’ve ever looked at myself in the mirror and said, “Wow. Who is that gorgeous woman?”

But I’ve stopped short of going under the knife. I saw a face lift on TV once and they pulled back the skin, just like peeling an orange, and then they stretched it over the face and stapled it at the hairline, and I thought “My God, that looks scary.” Even though I have friends who keep urging me to get a little tuck, stretch and smooth here and there so far I’ve chickened out. Now I fear it is too late!

So it’s confession time: who has undergone some sort of facial or therapy that was fabulous? Inquiring minds want to know! And who would undergo a snail facial? Or who would like to share a disaster?

46 comments:

  1. Absolutely no snail facials for me! And, I think, nothing else, either.

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  2. Snails! I absolutely refuse. When I was a kid, there was a huge storm overnight. The next day millions of snails were slithering all over. The walk to school,that day, was a horror I never wish to repeat. Brr! I have had facials, no cucumbers, I actually like mine ... My facials include an hand massage. Having lotions rubbed into my dry, itchy, cracking fingers and then treated to some moist heat is heavenly.

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  3. Just the photo of a snail facial was enough to have me shuddering. Actually have snails on my face? Not going to happen. I love a good 60 to 90 minute massage, and even a pedicure from time to time, but beyond that? My interest is limited to listening to others tell their stories. I would only consider surgery if it was reconstructive.

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  4. I had to scroll by that picture at high speed. Rhys, I'm afraid that's the first thing I've ever see you do in poor taste! I haven't even had my first cup of coffee yet...

    So clearly I would never go there. I'm not into the facial anything, hardly. My face gets some Trader Joe's lotion a few times a day and a scrub in the morning. At some point, though, I might need some kind of eye-lift - the tops are starting to droop over my eyelids and I'm afraid it might impinge my vision after a while. Like Gigi, I like a good body massage and an occasional pedicure. That's it.

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    1. Sorry it spoiled your coffee, Edith. I had to share because it was so awful.
      And I had my lid lift paid for after my vision was impaired.

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    2. I'm going to need that lid lift. The drooping lids thing must be hereditary. My mom always said she was going to have one but she never managed. Was it painful, Rhys? How was the recovery?

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  5. Regular pedicures during sandal season, love a facial but rarely have one, and I was just thinking yesterday that I would get a good massage sometime in the next couple of weeks.

    As far as a face lift, that ship has sailed. I looked at Marlo Thomas the other day, and she should ask for a refund. If women who can afford the best end up looking like zombies, what could I expect with what I could pay for.

    Edith, most insurances will pay for the lid lift once the droops are interfering with your eyesight. Go for it. I keep hoping I can.

    Mother Nature endowed me with breasts that were sufficient for several women. About ten years ago I had a reduction, and I have never regretted it. It helped so much with my back and neck and shoulder pain. And I now know the joys of going braless, at least when I am home. I call them Pinky and Perky.

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    1. Good for you, Ann. I am all in favor of procedures for health reasons although I'm still a chicken about knives

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    2. Yes, me, too, Ann. That was life-changing. Not fun, but so worth it in the long run.

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  6. Snails belong in the garden, thank you very much! Heavens, what even put the idea in someone's head! I mean, how many times have you been gardening, seen the snails and thought, "Hey, I might put these on my face and see if they help my skin!"
    People do baffle me at times!

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    1. Ha! Good thought, Deb! When I first saw that picture I thought Rhys was going to talk about forensic science or some such thing. To have snails on your face on purpose? Who comes up with this stuff? Maybe the same folks who brought us the carp pedicure?

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  7. Snails on your face have to be even worse than little fishes nibbling the dead skin on your feet! NO! Lately I have been thinking about Botox since I have those awful lines between my eyebrows, makes me look like I'm scowling all the time. I probably will never do it since it's simpler and much cheaper not to look in the mirror.

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  8. It’s a good thing eyesight fails as the chin sags!

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    1. When I had cataract surgery I looked in the mirror and wondered where all the wrinkles suddenly came from

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  9. No snails! No fish nibbles! Ahhhh! Rhys you are hilarious .
    Manicure and pedicure—must do. My hair is not naturally blond, which I’m sure shocks you. I have never had a facial (I am worried it would make my skin go crazy) or a massage ( get me out of here!).
    I have not “sunbathed” or sat in the sun without being completely covered up and hatted with any exposed parts slathered with sunscreen for 30 years —and I think that has made a big difference.

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    1. Never had a massage? Hank, they are the best thing ever. At the very least they are relaxing after a long flight and actually healed me after my car accident.

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  10. Snails? No way. I have my annual early summer pedicure before whatever wedding we're attending. I have rosacea so it's moisturizer with sunscreen every morning and no sun exposure without sunblock, long sleeves, straw hat.

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  11. Someone in a bar with a few drinks already, said to their companion: "Wanna bet I can get women to let snails crawl all over their face if I tell them it's a beauty treatment?" To which the companion replied: "You're on--$50 bucks says no way!" My go-to 'crazy' beauty process is a sugar scrub. A hefty teaspoon of sugar in the palm, a squirt of liquid face soap, then massage gently over face and neck (and hands too if there's enough). Rinse, pat dry. Skin is softer than baby's. :-) No nips or tucks here of any kind and none every contemplated or planned.

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    1. My first mother-in-law had lovely skin. She attributed it to a nightly regimen of Camay and sugar.

      Sugar is a natural exfoliant, and is actually good for your skin. I've added some to coconut oil to use on my legs after shaving, and it's lovely stuff.

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  12. Snails, hell no! I plan to age gracefully like HRM Queen Elizabeth. She's always so beautiful and I think part of that is because she is so NOT artificial.

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  13. No snails. No, no, no!

    I have had a facial. It was relaxing and I did think my skin was smoother. But mostly I just use a scrub and moisturizer from Burt's Bees (their renewal), very little makeup, and The Girl says my skin looks really good.

    Mani/pedi? I like them, but the cost, the time. I do like a massage every once in a while, though. But again, the cost, the time.

    Mary/Liz

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  14. Snails? Maybe as an appetizer but not grazing on my face. I guess I'm a philistine but I just can't get excited about beauty treatments, massages, etc. I do well to pay a pro to cut my hair!

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  15. Like everyone else here, I'm a firm "no" on the snails. I love a good massage and pedicure, and have enjoyed the few facials I've had, too. (Though I agree with Mary/Liz that cost and time are always factors.)

    I have made the choice to avoid all cosmetic surgery, but I have a reasonably close friend who is a plastic surgeon, so through her I have learned the opposing view. She swears that if a face lift is done properly, no one will look at you and realize you had one. Rather, they will say things like, "You look so well rested!" I figure there must be something to it, because in our 20+ years of friendship she seems to have hardly aged a day -- yet there has never once been a time when I could tell she had recently had work done.

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    1. My sister-in-law just turned 75, and she looks amazing. When I mentioned it to her she finally spilled the beans about having had some "judicious, non-invasive procedures". Hunh.

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  16. If I ever publicly mention that I have considered, scheduled, or undergone any such procedure, you can rest assured that aliens have taken over my body and mind.

    I don't even use soap on my face, except twice a week, in the shower, using a locally made goats milk cake. The rest of the time, only water, followed by a supermarket L'Oreal moisturizer at night. That's it. My daughter keeps trying to fob off her freebie Clinique and other fancy moisturizers, but I just don't use them.

    I'm frankly too cheap to put a lot of money into holding back time, but in the end time has its way with us, anyway.

    Massages are different. If I could I would get one weekly, but not for beauty. For having less pain.

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    1. Are you safe and warm and well-fed today, Karen? Thinking of you in the snowstorm.

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    2. Yes, thanks, Gigi. Some "storm". We have less than two inches on the ground. It is crazy how wound up the local weather people get about not much of anything.

      But St. Louis, just 300 miles west, has 8-10 inches, and set for more.

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    3. Good to know. I have friends in the "barely any" zones and others in the "really deep" zones. Here in Texas it's just cold and windy.

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  17. No snails on me thank you. Because of hormonal problems , I had facial electrolysis to avoid having a beard with good results. Now, I'm balding but decided to stay simple and natural, no surgical procedure.

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  18. YUCK! Snails on the face? Disgusting! Ruined my breakfast. Uck. Plus that slime is almost impossible to get off, I know from killing them in the garden. Awful, awful, awful.

    Being a man, all I do is shave every day or two. No creams, ointments, balms, or potions.

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  19. A long time ago a doctor recommended that I get a monthly massage, and I’ve been doing it ever since. Several years later he suggested that I should try for twice a month. That’s out of the question. As much as I like my massages, just having one a month is a financial sacrifice. I had a gift certificate for a facial around 18 years ago. It was wonderful but I can’t afford to have them regularly. Hmm... I have a big birthday coming up; perhaps I can hint that a facial would be SO nice...

    DebRo

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  20. Good Lord! NO! Soap, water, Nivea. Done. One trend in our area is Foot Massage. I treated myself and honestly, I don't remember ever feeling so relaxed. Well worth the $20 plus tip.

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  21. Shalom Reds. I am vain. But not THAT vain. No snails for me. (I am terribly ticklish.) And I am scared of the knife. Several years back, I attended the wedding of a son of a close friend. Afterward, I think that evening, I stumbled across the photographer’s website and all the photos had been posted. I came across one photo which caught my eye and I said to myself, “Who’s that?” It took me ten seconds to realize it was ME. Now in my defense, I don’t regularly wear a suit. And like most people these days, I usually am looking at a selfie which are generally front-facing shots. This was a profile image and in the picture, I had a pronounced double chin and was carrying more weight than I usually do. Since then I have been a little bit obsessed about aging (I turned 65 this past December) and my weight. I’ve given up a lot of sugar since having a diabetes diagnosis. I bought a scale which calculates all sorts of numbers and my current BMI is in the center of the overweight category. I’m a smoker which I know is horrible for skin tone. I’ve taken to wearing a full beard which hides any double chins. In November, my college alumni magazine sent out a photographer to take my picture. They printed a head shot at about a 45-degree angle which was very flattering. So I am good for another year. I really do like who I am and so like most of us, I tolerate photographers.

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  22. Ross and I used to say it was nature's beautiful plan that just as you and your partner get saggy, wrinkly and sun-spotted, your near vision goes out and all you can see close up is a blur.

    The number one beauty regime for your skin? SUN SCREEN. Or stay out of the sun. My Grandmother Spencer had lovely skin in her eighties, right up to the end of her life. A southern lady of the old school, she had never gone outside without a hat and gloves to shield her from the sun. She had the sort of soft wrinkles you would expect, but her skin was clear and had fabulously smooth texture.

    I always avoided the sun because I tended to burn, not tan, and since my thirties, I've worn sunscreen every time I've been outside. In my forties, I switched it to daily moisturizer with 30spf, and I'm pretty pleased with my skin at this point.

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    1. Agreed that it is important to wear sunscreen. I inherited the Celtic skin and you can see the blue veins on my forehead sometimes. I cover it up with lots of makeup when that happens or wear a hat. I just found out that is where the word "blueblood" comes from. I tend to burn too.

      Diana

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  23. Snails!!! No no no. Ack. Just the photo gave me the heebie-jeebies. Other than the procedure I'd like to have (the eyelid tuck) and the procedure I have had (reduction, and let me tell you, plastic surgeons totally rock)I have no plans for cosmetic enhancement. Love mani-pedi/massages (don't do nearly often enough) but have never had a facial.

    I actually never wash my face with anything but warm water, and I use a Simple cleansing wipe to take off make-up whenever I bother to wear it. I use loads of super-hydrating moisturizer. Even supermarket brands like Simple are making amazing stuff, and I don't see why I shouldn't take advantage of it. My very favorite thing is a hydrating spray mist from Laura Mercier. Like Julia, I wear a 30spf moisturizer all day, too.

    One of my aunts had the most beautiful skin I've ever seen. She said her secret was slathering on Pond's Cold Creme every night. I think it was probably genetic. I would put the cold creme up there pretty close to snails...

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    1. Debs, you are gorgeous! No need for surgery. Unless your life is at risk!

      Diana

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  24. I think I'll take a pass on the snails slithering on my face, although in thinking about things on my face, my phobia of crickets makes that the absolute worst thing to put on my face or anywhere on my body. I can look at this snail picture without being entirely freaked out. But, no, I won't be trying it.

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  25. Commenting is suddenly back (FB name is Elizabeth Ann). Rhys, that snail photo made me pause long before eating breakfast...ugh, ugh, ugh. Waxing around my lip and chin is as far as I go for beauty. And it took me a long time to get there! Being healthy, moving easily, way more important than beauty for me.

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    1. Agreed that health is more important than beauty.

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  26. Rhys, every time I see you, you always look beautiful. You have that peaches and cream skin like the Princess of Wales that people would give their eyeteeth for!

    When I was a kid, I did not like my red hair nor freckles. Now I am used to the way I look and I would not change anything. If I changed the way I look, I would be looking at a stranger in the mirror. However, I did break my nose (long story) and I needed plastic surgery. So yes, I had a "nose job". LOL. I had black eyes. Regarding facials, I did have "photo-facial" which left my skin feeling very soft. I liked the person who worked with me on photo facials then she left and moved away. It was really expensive and that place has a high turn over in the last few years. So I stopped going.

    And it is really easy to change my looks by changing my eyebrow shape with an eyebrow art work that I practiced doing when I was a model another lifetime ago. I learned how to do my own makeup and I know what works for me. Whenever someone offers to give me a makeover like at an event I went to in SF, I only let them do my cheeks because I never like how makeup artists draw my eyes! It is fun to wear different colors on my face.

    This is the first time I have heard of snail facials. I have heard of Latisse lash treatment to get full lashes. I feel it is too high maintanence for me. I heard of permanent tattooing like permanent eyeliner and it sounds scary!

    For my skin and health, I try to eat at least 6 to 8 servings of fruit and veggies daily. I try to stay hydrated all day. I also want to avoid $$$$ in future health bills!

    Diana

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  27. If I remember to wash my face every few days, I feel pretty on top of my maintenance. Julia, I love your and Ross's take on vision fading with the looks - LOL! Works for me! I don't care about wrinkles or gray hair but I am very into being fit and strong, which is a new phenomenon for me but I'm enjoying it. Even if I don't look young, I feel young and that's pretty sweet.

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    1. I'm laughing because when I met you, I said that I did not know you had blond highlights. I was surprised when you said they were grey hairs. They look blonde to me. When you mentioned that you are into being fit and strong, I was reminded of a new catchphrase I had seen on a calendar. "Strong is the new pretty". I think as long as we feel strong, age is only a number.

      Diana

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  28. Oh my word. That woman is having a snail facial as a beauty treatment? In a different context it could be a scene from Criminal Minds. (Shudder.)
    I am opposed to all the things that present themselves as "beauty" that can be delivered through some sort of treatment or cream or surgery. "Meaningful Beauty" my ass. How can anything be meaningful if it is lessened with age? You want to see someone who is beautiful, I'll show you any one of my grandmothers, wrinkly and wise.
    I will never forget when an actress on "All My Children" underwent a "face-lift" in real life, back in the '70's and decided she would allow viewers to see what the recovery process was like. As a grade-school child I couldn't believe she would choose to be so battered and bruised in order to have a cosmetic procedure and I'm fairly certain that laid the foundation for the tirade I led with.

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  29. Ummm.... no. Just no. No and no. May I add, no?

    Sails as escargot with drawn butter and good bread--yes! But on my face? No.

    I use an exfoliating face scrub in the shower, sometimes remember to put on face cream (usually forget), get my hair trimmed and highlighted, and do manicures/pedicures on occasion. Oh, and shave my legs--at least in the summer.

    Whew. That sounds like a lot of effort, suddenly. Time for a 'beauty nap.' LOL!

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    1. This reminds me of what my father said to me when I was a kid. "Do not play with your food" when I tried an avocado mask. LOL. I saw a photo in my mom's magazine about using avocado as a facial mask. Food is for eating, not to plaster on my face! I am still laughing about this. It is too true.

      Diana

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