Misheard Lyrics: Mondegreens!

JENN McKINLAY: I'm married to a musician, which is no surprise because I love music. I love listening, singing, and feeling that visceral punch to the chest from a really great song. Here's the thing, I never get the lyrics right and the poor beleaguered Hub has to listen to me sing, "Summer breeze, makes me feel fine, blowing' through the chasm in my mind..." Which, frankly, I think makes more sense then "blowing through the jasmine in my mind" but whatever. He's ever patient with me.

Recently, I learned that misheard song lyrics, which are unintentional and not at all like Weird Al Yankovic's parody of songs, actually have their own terminology. They are called mondegreens. Somehow this makes me feel that singing the wrong words is a less egregious offense, you know, because it has a name so it's legit.

Little known fact: My nickname when I lived next-door to the AZ state liquor commissioner, Howard Adams, was "Ave Maria". Why? Well, he was a good Irish Catholic boy and I was a sinner, but we spent many a happy hour together where I would imbibe too much and then sing Ave Maria in Latin, which he loved. Those words I never got wrong, most likely do to the fear of eternal damnation. Plus, it was Latin!

So, how about you Reds? Do you get the songs right or wrong? And if you do get them wrong, what's your most dazzling mondegreen? Here's another personal fave, because...donuts!

Crystal Gayle's donut problem.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: You know why they’re called mondegreens, right? It’s from something like an Irish folk song, about someone who was was slain by somebody-somebody, and they "laid him on the green."  Someone thought it was "and Lady Mondegreen."

Anyway, don’t get me started on song lyrics.  “in the night with the light from a bulb?” “Excuse me while I kiss this guy?”
And what are those impossible lyrics from Rocket Man?  Burning up his face down here alone?  (it's really "Rocket man, burning out his fuse up here alone" which make no sense at  all.)

JENN: I had no idea where "mondegreen" came from, Hank. Oh, I love that back story. And "Excuse me while I kiss this guy" is a classic! Jimi Hendrix, FTW. 

Jimi!

RHYS BOWEN: One of the most used Mondegreens is what is called in the US Ring Around the Rosie.  In England where it originated, it is Ring a ring of roses. A pocket full of posies. Atishoo. Atishoo. We all fall down. It is a creepy song about the great plague of 1665. The ring of roses is the rash around the body that signifies you have the plague. You carry flowers and herbs in an attempt to ward it off. Atishoo is the sneeze and we all fall down. You die anyway.
But my favorite mondegreen came when I was singing with the local opera chorus. A flamboyant and fun gay guy who sang with me insisted that the song "She's a must to avoid" was really "She's a muscular boy."

LUCY BURDETTE: I'm always singing something and usually with words made up to fit the person or pet in front of me. For example, Tonka's favorite song was "T-t-t-Tonka, beautiful Tonka, you're the only d-d-d-dog that I adore..." But I'm desperately searching for mondegreens and all I can come up with is: "One toe over the line sweet Jesus, one toe over the line..."

HANK: Lucy! I love that!

HALLIE EPHRON: JASMINE of my mind? I always thought it was canyons of my mind. Go figure. And of course I pledged allegiance to the republic for Richard Stans. My granddaughter mangle the lyrics of every song she sings. And sings. Except supercalifragilisticexpialidocious she nails.

DEBS: Hallie, I though it was "canyons" too! "Jasmine?" You have to wonder what they were smoking...

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Hank, I thought it was "burning up his face up here alone" too. I can't think of any mondegreens that you all haven't already mentioned, but, like Lucy, I'm constantly singing songs with new lyrics to my pets, kids, etc. "Oh, Louie, you're so fine, you're a fun dog all the time hey Louie" (clap clap, clap clap) "Hey Louie," (clap clap, clap clap) To the tune of "Hey Mickey," of course. 

I also do it with pop songs on the radio, which drives Youngest absolutely bonkers. There's one out now where the Camila Cabello sings, "Half of my heart is in Havana, na, na na. He took me back to east Atlanta, na, na, na..." and I will go on, "I like to eat a nice banana, na, na, na. While I am wearing my pajama, na, na, na." I usually can't get further than a couple of bars before I start getting threats from my daughter.

JENN: So, you clearly have a strong song parody game, Julia. Love it!

Another Elton John mondegreen classic!

DEBORAH CROMBIE:  I had no idea that misheard song lyrics were called mondegreens! And I love Hank's explanation. But here's the thing. I have a terrible time remembering song lyrics at all, unless I'm prompted by someone singing them. It's a weird brain gap, like not getting algebra. But if Rick starts singing something, for instance, I can immediately fill in the lyrics (and usually correctly) even when he can't remember them. And I can sing along with songs on the radio just fine. Brains are very quirky.

INGRID THOFT: Okay, the most memorable mondegreen isn’t really family friendly, but I’ll let you fill in the blanks.  Famously, in my family, one of my sisters was sure that the lyric from The Motels’ song “Only the Lonely” was “only the lonely g*t l$#d.”  In fact, the lyric is “only the lonely can play.”  Not necessarily that different in meaning, but a bit different when it comes to singing along in the car!  The lyric that I always think should be a mondegreen but isn’t?  “You’re a vegetable” sung in the bridge of Michael Jackson’s fantastic “Wanna Be Startin Something.”  That one always leaves me scratching my head!

JENN: When Hub was reviewing a John Fogerty show, Fogerty embraced the mondegreen and sang "There's a bathroom on the right" as opposed to "bad moon on the rise" and pointed to the right. Hub said it was pretty hilarious! 

How about you, Readers? What's your most common mondegreen? And for all the earworms I've now planted in your head, you're welcome!

An Old Friend

INGRID THOFT

During a recent visit to Boston, an old friend reached out to me via Facebook.  I hadn't seen him in over ten years, but we've kept in touch and made a plan to meet for breakfast.

My friend and I first met when I worked at Harvard and was in charge of the human resources website.  The site was in need of a major overhaul (this was in 1999), and I selected his firm from the contenders.  I loved the work that the company did, and I loved the team that did it.  They were a funny, smart, and talented group, lead by my friend, and once the work stopped, he and I would have the occasional meal or coffee while I lived in the Boston area.

My husband and I eventually moved to Seattle, but my friend and I stayed connected, and when I met him for a breakfast a few weeks ago, it was as if the intervening decade hadn't happened.  We fell into easy conservation about his daughter's gymnastic accomplishments and my underwater adventures.  He talked about his newfound love for running marathons, and I updated him on the world of publishing.  Although we caught up on the past, more of our conversation was about the present and the future, and perhaps that's the key to this kind of friendship:  An excitement in learning what comes next for the other person.


This friend is not the only person with whom I feel an affection and connection that isn't dependent upon proximity or frequency of visits.  My closest friend from college could walk in the door, and I guarantee within ten minutes, we'd be lounging on the couch talking about anything and everything.  Some people just click, and it's a gift when circumstances put you in each other's universes.

What about you?  Do you have any friends like that?  Do the years melt away when you reunite?

In My Defense!

INGRID THOFT
Earlier this week, Julia led a staunch defense of the joys of Miracle Whip.  She had a few supporters in her campaign, but not very many.  In the same post, I admitted my preference for Mrs. Butterworth's over real Vermont maple syrup.  I know!  It's sacrilege!  I'm from New England, for goodness sake's, but I can't deny my love for the sweet syrup that comes in the creepy woman-shaped bottle.  Something about real syrup just seems off to me, so like Julia, I will energetically defend my right to ingest the buttery goodness.

So tell me, Reds, is there an experience, a place, a book or movie (you get the idea) to which you have absolute loyalty despite a majority of naysayers?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Well, that is a pretty interesting question. I love the movie "Point Break." Does that count? I put real sugar in my coffee in the morning--does that make people wince?  I have um, watched Survivor. I got some great gray Keds, that's probably not cool. Twizzlers.  Costco.  I WOULD happily see "Mamma Mia 2," but Jonathan won't go. And let me say, I have never tasted maple syrup, in a creepy bottle or not. OR baked beans. You can have mine. And I like Big Macs. Not that I've eaten one any time recently, but I would. AND I love shopping at the grocery store the day before Thanksgiving .It's terrible, but it's hilarious. Because we are all in it  together. Hmm.  You really have me thinking.

JENN McKINLAY: Hank, I love "Point Break," too! It's the best sort of campy fun, plus hot guys. Things that I enjoy that my people find appalling, hmm, this is a tough one. I defend my need to comfort eat Hostess Sno-balls, I love the Bee Gees, and I think it's perfectly acceptable to break out a sweet pair of leather boots as soon as the thermometer drops below 80 degrees even though the rest of the world is in flip-flops.

RHYS BOWEN: I cried in "Mama Mia 2"! I sing along to the Sound of Music. I can watch my favorite old movies over and over (and still cry at the sad parts ). I love to get a hot dog at a ball game, smothered in mustard and relish (which often splashes onto my light trousers and won't come out). And I still love the magical things of my childhood--driving around seeing the Christmas lights, swinging on a swing at the park. I guess I'm the female Peter Pan. I don't want to grow up.

HALLIE EPHRON: I love "The Princess Bride." Can watch it endlessly. And will grab any opportunity to quote: "My name is Inigo Montoya. You keel my father. Prepare to die." In the same vein, I adore "Shrek" ("Let's get some parfait."  "You know, not everybody likes onions.") Also the movie "Babe."That'll do, Pig, That'll do." A movie which for some reason gave my daughter nightmares.

And Lipton onion soup and sour cream dip. With or without potato chips.

INGRID: I don't think your choices require much defending, Hallie!  Who doesn't like onion soup dip?

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Still saying Miracle Whip is the greatest. I love my house, despite the fact that the sane thing to do wold be to sell it and move someplace both newer and smaller. I love the foods of my childhood that are made with canned cream of mushroom soup - it feels as if everyone is making their own white sauce or something for those dishes, but the grocery store still sells giant cans of CoM, so maybe I'm not the only one...

And I don't care what everyone says, I liked the remake of "Annie" with Quvenzhane Wallis and Jaime Foxx. Although even I draw the line at Cameron Diaz's performance of Miss Hannigan.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I did see "Mamma Mia 2," and cried until my popcorn napkins were soggy. "Christopher Robin," ditto. And I have always liked ABBA. I like butter (make that butter-flavored goop) on my movie popcorn. I think Rob Schneider's "Deuce Bigalow: American Gigolo" is hysterically funny.

I like Saltines with chili. I don't like books where all the characters are creepy. And I do like books to have at least sort of happy endings, which I know is very un-literary.  So there.

LUCY BURDETTE: I'm always in for dressing up in goofy costumes, whether it's Halloween or not. This is a photo of our daughter and me, which is quite typical.Also, before I started visiting a naturopath to help me with my meniere's disease and learned that it could be adding to my congestion, I drank a big glass of milk with every meal. My family would be drinking wine, and I'd have milk. I love the stuff!

Do your family and friends give you grief for one of your favorites?  Tell us!  We'll be kind!

And Karen in Ohio, you won the Liese O'Halloran Schwarz giveaway!  Please send your mailing address to ingrid@ingridthoft.com.