JAN: I received a beautiful pair of earrings from my sister-in-law on Christmas Day. Lucky I put them on and wore them that evening, because when I wore them Monday night, I lost one. I've lost so many things, I don't even get upset
I try to tell myself that Matter Doesn't Just Disappear, but I don't believe it.
I actually think it's a conspiracy against me. As if the universe is stealing my valuables, or just messing with me mentally. Once I lost a diamond earring in my bedroom. I felt it fall off and immediately began the search. Bill and I searched the bedroom a dozen times. We still haven't found it.
But I've come to think that there are certain things that are just eminently lose-able. Earrings are obviously an issue for me. But when the kids were little, it was pacifiers. I'd have a dozen of them, but whenever I desperately needed one, I couldn't find any. Then I'd come across three under the sofa cushion when the baby was sleeping peacefully with three more of them next to her in the crib.
Now, it's guitar picks. I have a ca
rved box in the living room where they belong. They are always gone. And none in the guitar case either, or stuck in the strings. Two days later, I'll find one in my son's pockets when
I'm doing laundry. Or in my wallet. Or on the window sill.
Reading glasses?? Come on, don't
you secretly think there's someone out there removing them from your nightstand, coffee table or purse?? Or are there other things in your life that have a way of slipping behind the shelves?
RO: I can't believe you're blogging about this because this was going to be my next rant. No one likes losing anything, but I HATE it. And I have a hard time shutting up about whatever it is that I've lost - an expensive pen, my sister's two necklaces which I lost in 2005 and always wore together (one, yes, two?..I smell conspiracy.)
And I never stop expecting to find the missing item. I can remember moving out of an apartment many years ago and thinking - ha! I'll finally find that earring! Didn't happen. These are not misplaced items, these are the well and truly gone, beamed to another planet, never to be seen again things. How does this happen?
Last year on tour, I was at the airport in Philly and couldn't find my driver's license - my only picture ID. Somehow I finessed the security guards, got on my flight and had my husband overnight my passport to my hotel. But it drove me nuts. how could I lose my driver's license? Six months later I found it. It had slipped between the lining and the leather of the bag I was using. THAT'S why you never stop looking.
Now, whenever I'm looking for something and ask my husband if he knows where the item is, he says "it's with your sister's necklaces." Do you think he means "shut up, already"?
HANK: Ah, this is hard. I agree, nothing is really lost. It can't be lost, it exists. Still, if you don't have it, it's lost to you. And it's so frustrating, because you keep going back to the time when it wasn't lost--and
how did it cross over into the land of the lost? And why didn't you stop it?
And how about my Mom's famous question: Where did you lose it?
Still, when its not our own stuff, isn't there a women-can-usually-find it thing? I mean this morning, Jonathan said: Where's the mayonnaise? I said, fridge, door, lower left. No, it isn't, he said, I can't find it. You do not need me to tell you what happened next.
(But I know that's different than losing earrings and pens. Last night at din
ner, no two nights ago, I wore mismatched earrings, because on the costume-jewelry level, they are all I have left. Not kidding.)
HALLIE: Mismatched socks. Mismatched gloves. I have an entire basket where they live because hope springs eternal that the missing mates will show up. I wish there was a way to put a expiration date on the orphans so I’d know when to throw one out.
And what about that horrible feeling when you realize you’ve lost your purse? I remember having the exact same feeling when I went to the mall for the first time in years WITHOUT a daughter in tow. I knew something was missing, but it took me awhile to figure out what it was. Some things don’t go missing, they just grow up.
ROBERTA: yes, I lose earrings because they're too uncomfortable to keep on for long and soon the squeezing pain outweighs the urge to be stylish. I find them in pockets, in my car, in my husband's suit jacket... Yes, Hank, in our household we say "use your looking skills" when something is hidden in plain sight.
I will never forget years ago my grandparents came to visit me. They'd been in their room a long time so I finally went to check. They had lost their keys and were going through every item in their suitcase, frantic to find them. I pointed out that they'd pinned them to one of the pockets so they wouldn't get lost. Scary, scary, scary to think I'm closer to that than I ever could have believed!
Oh, and more way to lose things--on my computer when I save them to the wrong file. Very, very nervewracking...
JAN: So have you been losing stuff all your life? Do you cede your possessions to the universe or are you like Ro, expecting that if you just keep searching a little bit longer, you'll find it?