Sunday, August 30, 2015

Fragrances of the stars... Preciousssss

HALLIE EPHRON: A subplot in NIGHT NIGHT, SLEEP TIGHT involves a hush-hush new perfume being developed and branded for Elenor “Bunny” Nichol, a still gorgeous but past her prime movie star.

As I was researching perfumes launched by movie stars, I discovered that post-Dynasty Joan Collins launched I AM WOMAN (musk, citrus). Givenchy supposedly made L’INTERDIT (woody, floral) for Audrey Hepburn. Coty created the spicy SOPHIA scent for Sophia Loren. And Elizabeth Taylor went for the Trifecta with WHITE DIAMONDS (candy sweet), BLACK PEARLS (soft powdery, floral), and VIOLET EYES (rose, citrus).

Taking a cue from Violet Eyes, I named Bunny’s scent CERULEAN – the color of my character’s legendary eyes. 

And I made up this TV commercial for it.

Violins, piano, and finally an accordion swell to a tango rhythm. A tall, slender man dressed all in black moves slowly away from the camera toward Bunny, takes her in his arms, twirls her once, twice, then bends her backward. Dissolve to a close-up of Bunny raising a bottle of Cerulean as if in a champagne toast, arching her head back and spraying her neck with the perfume. In smoke, words write themselves out on the screen in front of her.

you’re a woman

Cerulean,” Bunny’s voice whispered as the words disintegrate in a skim of mist that slowly dissipated to reveal a bottle of the perfume.

I was tickled when I saw an ad for ENGAGE, a men’s fragrance with (be still my beating heart) Jean Luc/Patrick Stewart shilling for it. Sadly it's a parody because I was ready to punch the replicator and order a bottle.

But it got me thinking about what men’s fragrances I’d like to see and the stars who’d promote them:

Lucky - Clint Eastwood
Iron – Arnold Schwarzenegger
Shaken – Sean Connery
D’oh – Homer Simpson
Green – Kermit the Frog

Preciousss - Gollum
Contender – Marlon Brando
Lookin’ at You - Humphrey Bogart
Alive! - Boris Karloff
Elementary - Benedict Cumberbatch

So what other fragrance/star combinations would you like to see?


Joan Emerson said...

This is so clever . . . can't decide which tickles me more: Kermit the Frog for Green or Benedict Cumberbatch for Elementary. As for other combinations, I am, sadly, clueless.

Edith Maxwell said...

Amphibia! Love it. Also loved the ad scene you wrote, Hallie.

A men's Cerulean could have been launched by Paul Newman. But now, he had to do salad dressing instead.

Dashing by Omar Sharif
Sweetie by Mark Rufalo
Versatile by Johnny Depp (or just Pirate?)
The Force by Harrison Ford
Hombre by Benicio Del Toro
The Man by Denzel Washington (no idea what that means)


Hallie Ephron said...

Brilliant Edith!

Lucy Burdette aka Roberta Isleib said...

Me too, love GREEN for Kermit!

how about:

VOLATILE for John McEnroe
SECRETS or FERAL for Tiger Woods
SMOULDERING for Kyle Chandler

Hank Phillippi Ryan said...

Preciousssss is the funniest thingI've ever heard.

SURPRISE! from Atticus Finch
CONVINCING from Tom Ripley
SPRAY THIS from Jack Reacher
WONDERLAND from Lewis Carroll
TWIST from Alfred Hitchcock
TWISTER from Al Roker

I'm taking too much time with this!! Stop me! xoxo

Karen in Ohio said...

What a great way to start a Sunday, giggling at the preposterous perfume names--so close to real ones!

Hair Hat from The Donald is all I can come up with.

Edith Maxwell said...


Margaret Turkevich said...

ABSOLUTION Clare Ferguson

CONFESS Russ Van Alystyne

Hank Phillippi Ryan said...

Oh, MArgaret, whole new worlds!

TELL ME from Jane Ryland (Or-DEADLINE?)

Kaye Barley said...

This is too fun!

Let's see -

OUTLAW for Willie Nelson
I'M GONNA LIVE FOREVER for Keith Richards

Karen in Ohio said...

Love ABSOLUTION, Margaret! I also like CONFESSION for Clare.

How about DUNK, V.I. Washawski

JUSTICE, Duncan Kinkaid

FChurch said...

Louise Penny used his scent to describe her character Armand Gamache. In one scene, his colleague Isabel recalls being in an elevator with him--before she worked with him--and nearly following him from the elevator because of his scent. Louise actually had a fragrance created, in London, called Gamache, that could be purchased--not sure if it is still available.

Fun topic today!

Lucy Burdette aka Roberta Isleib said...

Cro Magnon for Fred Flintstone?

Key Lime Pie for Hayley Snow:)

Kait said...

Delightful post and comments.
I would pick

TRUTH for Jayne Ryland
ISLAND SPICE for Hayley Snow
SEA SPRAY for Hayden Kent
RETURN for Arnold Schwarzenegger
GREY FLANNEL for Pierce Brosnan
UNKNOWN for Kevin Spacey

Oh my, this is fun!

Rhys said...

Such fun, Hallie.
How about Jungle Red for us...a spicy cinnamon you sort of mix
Regal for Lady Georgir
High heels for Hank
Dynasty for Hallie
Mother Earth for Julia
Or should it be Confession for Julua?
Chelsea for Debs
Tropix fir Lucy
And perhaps there should be a special witty sort of perfume called miss Edna for Susan


Deborah Crombie said...

So funny! Love Justice for Duncan. But the first thing I thought was:

LAUNDRY from Gemma James because I'm worrying about how she's managing three kids AND a very demanding job... But actually, it would suit her, a sort of clean, fresh breeze, citrusy scent.

And how about SHIELD from Chris Evans? CROONER from Nat King Cole? LIPS from Angelina Jolie?

I could go on and on... Thanks for the chuckle, Hallie!

Deborah Crombie said...

Oh, Rhys, I love CHELSEA! What fun! Now I just need to find someone to make it for me:-)

Rhonda Lane said...

I almost almost clicked away from the post to open another tab to order ENGAGE. :) LOL! Love all the fragrance names I've read. You guys crack me up.

Pat D said...

Love these! You guys are talented. My contribution:
Make it So from Jean Luc Picard
Justified by Raylan Givens
Top O' the World by Jimmy Cagney
Asta! No! by Nick Charles

Lenita said...

Oh, I love Asta! No! by Nick Charles. Brilliant!
Then how about Little Dog II by Toto?
Or Masculine by Lassie?
Rock Star by Rin Tin Tin?

This is fun!

Hank Phillippi Ryan said...

Little Dog II is HILARIOUS, Lenite!

DYNASTY for Halllie, Rhys---so funny!!!!

Kizi 200 said...

I just need to find someone to make it for me:
Friv 2
Friv 2015