Sunday, August 30, 2015

Fragrances of the stars... Preciousssss

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HALLIE EPHRON: A subplot in NIGHT NIGHT, SLEEP TIGHT involves a hush-hush new perfume being developed and branded for Elenor “Bunny” Nichol, a still gorgeous but past her prime movie star.

As I was researching perfumes launched by movie stars, I discovered that post-Dynasty Joan Collins launched I AM WOMAN (musk, citrus). Givenchy supposedly made L’INTERDIT (woody, floral) for Audrey Hepburn. Coty created the spicy SOPHIA scent for Sophia Loren. And Elizabeth Taylor went for the Trifecta with WHITE DIAMONDS (candy sweet), BLACK PEARLS (soft powdery, floral), and VIOLET EYES (rose, citrus).

Taking a cue from Violet Eyes, I named Bunny’s scent CERULEAN – the color of my character’s legendary eyes. 

And I made up this TV commercial for it.


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Violins, piano, and finally an accordion swell to a tango rhythm. A tall, slender man dressed all in black moves slowly away from the camera toward Bunny, takes her in his arms, twirls her once, twice, then bends her backward. Dissolve to a close-up of Bunny raising a bottle of Cerulean as if in a champagne toast, arching her head back and spraying her neck with the perfume. In smoke, words write themselves out on the screen in front of her.

Because
you’re a woman

Cerulean,” Bunny’s voice whispered as the words disintegrate in a skim of mist that slowly dissipated to reveal a bottle of the perfume.
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I was tickled when I saw an ad for ENGAGE, a men’s fragrance with (be still my beating heart) Jean Luc/Patrick Stewart shilling for it. Sadly it's a parody because I was ready to punch the replicator and order a bottle.

But it got me thinking about what men’s fragrances I’d like to see and the stars who’d promote them:

Lucky - Clint Eastwood
Iron – Arnold Schwarzenegger
Shaken – Sean Connery
D’oh – Homer Simpson
Green – Kermit the Frog

Preciousss - Gollum
Contender – Marlon Brando
Lookin’ at You - Humphrey Bogart
Alive! - Boris Karloff
Elementary - Benedict Cumberbatch

So what other fragrance/star combinations would you like to see?











22 comments:

  1. This is so clever . . . can't decide which tickles me more: Kermit the Frog for Green or Benedict Cumberbatch for Elementary. As for other combinations, I am, sadly, clueless.

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  2. Amphibia! Love it. Also loved the ad scene you wrote, Hallie.

    A men's Cerulean could have been launched by Paul Newman. But now, he had to do salad dressing instead.

    Dashing by Omar Sharif
    Sweetie by Mark Rufalo
    Versatile by Johnny Depp (or just Pirate?)
    The Force by Harrison Ford
    Hombre by Benicio Del Toro
    The Man by Denzel Washington (no idea what that means)

    Fun!

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  3. Me too, love GREEN for Kermit!

    how about:

    VOLATILE for John McEnroe
    SECRETS or FERAL for Tiger Woods
    SMOULDERING for Kyle Chandler

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  4. Preciousssss is the funniest thingI've ever heard.

    SURPRISE! from Atticus Finch
    CONVINCING from Tom Ripley
    SPRAY THIS from Jack Reacher
    WONDERLAND from Lewis Carroll
    TWIST from Alfred Hitchcock
    or
    TWISTER from Al Roker

    I'm taking too much time with this!! Stop me! xoxo

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  5. What a great way to start a Sunday, giggling at the preposterous perfume names--so close to real ones!

    Hair Hat from The Donald is all I can come up with.

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  6. ABSOLUTION Clare Ferguson

    CONFESS Russ Van Alystyne

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  7. Oh, MArgaret, whole new worlds!

    TELL ME from Jane Ryland (Or-DEADLINE?)

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  8. This is too fun!

    Let's see -

    OUTLAW for Willie Nelson
    I'M GONNA LIVE FOREVER for Keith Richards

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  9. Love ABSOLUTION, Margaret! I also like CONFESSION for Clare.

    How about DUNK, V.I. Washawski

    JUSTICE, Duncan Kinkaid

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  10. Louise Penny used his scent to describe her character Armand Gamache. In one scene, his colleague Isabel recalls being in an elevator with him--before she worked with him--and nearly following him from the elevator because of his scent. Louise actually had a fragrance created, in London, called Gamache, that could be purchased--not sure if it is still available.

    Fun topic today!

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  11. Cro Magnon for Fred Flintstone?

    Key Lime Pie for Hayley Snow:)

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  12. Delightful post and comments.
    I would pick

    TRUTH for Jayne Ryland
    ISLAND SPICE for Hayley Snow
    SEA SPRAY for Hayden Kent
    RETURN for Arnold Schwarzenegger
    GREY FLANNEL for Pierce Brosnan
    UNKNOWN for Kevin Spacey

    Oh my, this is fun!

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  13. Such fun, Hallie.
    How about Jungle Red for us...a spicy cinnamon you sort of mix
    Regal for Lady Georgir
    High heels for Hank
    Dynasty for Hallie
    Mother Earth for Julia
    Or should it be Confession for Julua?
    Chelsea for Debs
    Tropix fir Lucy
    And perhaps there should be a special witty sort of perfume called miss Edna for Susan

    Rhys

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  14. So funny! Love Justice for Duncan. But the first thing I thought was:

    LAUNDRY from Gemma James because I'm worrying about how she's managing three kids AND a very demanding job... But actually, it would suit her, a sort of clean, fresh breeze, citrusy scent.

    And how about SHIELD from Chris Evans? CROONER from Nat King Cole? LIPS from Angelina Jolie?

    I could go on and on... Thanks for the chuckle, Hallie!

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  15. Oh, Rhys, I love CHELSEA! What fun! Now I just need to find someone to make it for me:-)

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  16. I almost almost clicked away from the post to open another tab to order ENGAGE. :) LOL! Love all the fragrance names I've read. You guys crack me up.

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  17. Love these! You guys are talented. My contribution:
    Make it So from Jean Luc Picard
    Justified by Raylan Givens
    Top O' the World by Jimmy Cagney
    Asta! No! by Nick Charles

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  18. Oh, I love Asta! No! by Nick Charles. Brilliant!
    Then how about Little Dog II by Toto?
    Or Masculine by Lassie?
    Rock Star by Rin Tin Tin?

    This is fun!

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  19. Little Dog II is HILARIOUS, Lenite!

    DYNASTY for Halllie, Rhys---so funny!!!!

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  20. I just need to find someone to make it for me:
    Friv
    Friv 2
    Kizi
    Friv 2015

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