Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Behind the scenes in the SPAM garden...

HALLIE EPHRON: Each day, I go into Blogger (the software the brings you the Jungle Red Writers) and check the comments, looking for spam. Spammers come to the blog, usually late at night, and comment on OLD blogs. I can only guess they get paid for each entry they plant.

I come along like a weed wacker. Lately I've also had to UN-weed comments that Blogger has taken upon itself to relegate to SPAM. Apologies to Jay. I don't know why Blogger has it in for you.

Going two years back, there are more than 1,000 SPAM comments. I thought I'd share some of their great wisdom that I try to spare you from, day to day. Notice, sometimes it's just word salad.

FLATTERY
  • I like your all post
  • The writings are so mesmerizing, you can’t spend a minute without them. beard oil
  • This is a great inspiring article. I am pretty much pleased with your good work. You put really very helpful information.
  • Your blog is very nice and information you provided really cool
  • This is good knowledge gaining article


OVER THE TOP FLATTERY
  • Really love to read this post and it seems like a great blog i have ever seen. Just read your article. Good one. I liked it. Keep going. you are a best writer your site is very useful and informative thanks for sharing!


COSMIC QUESTION
  • Do you spend a quantity of time comparing unique male enhancement offers
  • Perhaps provide you something to inform her veterinarian


CLIFFHANGER
  • I found such a substantial number of interesting stuff in your blog especially its examination


SELF EFFACING
  • Very efficiently written information. It will be beneficial to anyone who utilizes it, including me.


BAFFLING
  • All humans and animals have been secured with this ability, but humans are always a step forward


HELLPFUL ADVICE
  • The guide should remain tuned in to what is being done or what has been done in reality.
  • Many upright water smokers have limited BBQ sauce recipes while dispersing the direct warm from the resource.


EASTER EGGS!
  • I look forward home construction mortgage to reading your book
  • Since your card is activated you need to most likely to this web link and <> Bank video could aid you find out and also comprehend all the actions of that procedure.


INSCRUTABLE
  • Earthling…
  • Dude. I am not much into reading, but somehow I got to read lots of articles on your blog.
  • artikel bagus… (Indonesian for good article)
  • Winter has returned. I do not like because I can not stand the cold. But wearing loud clothes also quite interesting. I look like a cute bear.


TARGETED MARKETING
  • Get one of the best movers and packers in Bangalore.
  • Try out this phone call spy software
  • Tattoos for men


Today we welcome your comments! Points to anyone who can comment like a spammer.
Jay, this is your moment! See you in SPAM!


108 comments:

  1. Oh, my goodness . . . I am chucking over the spam comments . . . who knew that blog comment spam was a real thing? [And, for the life of me, I can’t figure out why blogger thought Jay’s comments were spam-worthy.]

    Here’s my effort at spammer commenting:
    All I can say is it’s hard to find knowledgeable people, but the ladies here certainly know what they’re talking about. Thanks for sharing . . . .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nah... here you are, in COMMENTS, Joan.

      Delete
    2. Good to know I’m not too likely to become one of blogger’s spammed commenters!

      Delete
  2. Thanks for your work at protecting us from seeing the SPAM comments, Hallie. It is weird that my post went to the SPAM folder on a Saturday morning in January. It was the post where I was complaining about the -40C/-40F temperatures!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you also mention you like loud clothing and look like a teddy bear, Grace?

      Delete
  3. I have a hard time seeing how spam is monetized or who pays for such stuff. I think, sometimes, it's just a bot talking to an algorithm (the spam filter). Maybe that's how computer programs hook up. I did find the BBQ one amusing, though. Here's my attempt:

    Warm regards interesting stock tip, enhance your mortgage opportunity. You're so pretty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gigi, if I were Blogger I'd definitely mark that as SPAM. perfect.

      Delete
    2. Hey, maybe I can pick up some extra money in retirement!

      Delete
    3. Gigi, in spamlish, that would be "your so pretty."

      Delete
  4. My question is . . . why? To what purpose? Ah well.

    Lucky giant sweepstakes. Unclaimed male enhancement land in Belize.text me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow, I'm part of today's post...thanks Hallie for all the hard work separating my posts from the usual Attack of the Spambots. Back when message boards were still the primary way to communicate, I was once asked to be a moderator on a board for a band I liked. What a pain that was to have to deal with the spam posts. So I can sympathize with you.

    Given that I've been getting determined to be spam for the last few weeks I'll pass on deliberately putting anything spam worthy in this reply.

    I also don't know why Blogger has it in for me. I don't tend to reply to posts unless I have something to say. When I don't, I simply don't reply at all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DING DING DING! Jay, THIS wen to SPAM. Points to anyone who can figure out why.

      Delete
    2. If Jay Roberts ALWAYS ends up in the spam folder, it's possible he's been blacklisted. Can you set or review the spam filters ? You may need to get him removed from a blacklist filter...or if you can't find him there, possibly add him to a whitelist.

      Delete
    3. Could there be something in Jay’s selected “reply as” such as a hidden character? or with an email address connectedto the “reply as”? Last resort (with tongue in cheek): Jay’s unknown evil twin? Thanks, Hallie, for sorting out spam so very patiently.

      Delete
    4. Looks as if my reply on why Jay Roberts is being spam filtered may have gotten me there as the comment has disappeared. I was wondering if there is some hidden character in his “reply as” that triggers Blogger. Also I thanked Hallie for doing the clean up work.

      Delete
    5. Elisabeth, your comment went to SPAM! Maybe because you mentioned Jay?
      Jane, good suggestion... But comment filters in Blogger. If someone knows how to do this, please email me off-blog.

      Delete
    6. I can't find the blacklist / whitelist option in Blogger, although I found several questions about it in forums. Apparently Wordpress offers those features. The only other thing I can think of is that Jay's signature might have a url in it. (link)

      Delete
    7. I ended up in the spam folder a few times not that long ago, and I don't even KNOW Jay.

      Delete
    8. Have we considered the idea that Jay may just be an incredibly realistic bot? Perhaps he's an in-development AI for some nefarious organization. Jay, do you ever have the urge to mention male enhancement?

      Delete
    9. Thanks for the smile this morning, Julia.

      Delete
    10. Julia, I like that. Could be a novel. Reminds me of the movie about a guy who falls in love with his computer? "HER." (Cue X-files theme.)

      Delete
    11. Straighten up and fly right unnamed male that starts with a J.

      Delete
    12. Blacklisted? Oh great, where's James Spader when I need him?

      Seriously though, I looked at my google plus profile and there's nothing on there beyond my name. I only registered for it so that I could post here. I don't use it for anything else and there are no links in a signature or anything.

      Interesting theories of why I'm disappearing all the time. There is no evil twin, the world could not handle two of me.

      Ann Mason is unknowingly guilty by association it seems.

      Julia, I'm so realistic that Hank, Ingrid and Hallie have all met and signed books for me.

      And Hallie, that movie is definitely NOT me.

      Pat D, if I was any more boring, I'd fade away.

      Delete
    13. Jay, that could be it - the actual spammers have NOTHING beyond a name in their profiles, too.

      Delete
    14. Well Hank, if you are only imagining me, thanks for including me in your delusions. :D

      Delete
  6. In my email spam folder: "I decided to contact you because of the prevailing security report reaching my office and the intense nature of politics in Nigeria, I have come to make so many things right from the way the corrupt government officials has made it to be."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poor Nigeria - it gets such a bum rap.

      Delete
    2. Didn't they track down the guy sending the Nigerian Prince spam the other day? I think he was from Louisiana.

      Delete
    3. They did! The guy lives in Slidell, which is across Lake Pontchartrain from New Orleans. My brother in law lives there.

      Delete
  7. Hallie, I cracked up reading these!

    Here is one similar to what I receive at my work email on occasion:

    "We have many sensible young Russian ladies desirous of meeting good American men to marry and make American babies with. Please help us."

    And:
    "Why you not help us when we ask to find good American husbands for young Russian ladies? You must not reject us!"

    DebRo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love the "sensible" part. And THEN they try to guilt you into responding!

      Delete
    2. A neighbor actually married a mail order bride from Russia, about 30 years ago. Long before email spam. No American babies--she brought her young teen daughter with her, but they're still happily married.

      Delete
  8. A PS: The SPAM comments that I featured had web links ini them... which I left out. Surely that's what the spammers are being paid to do, to plant web links.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Theory: It's because Jay is a guy. If anyone has a man handy to test my theory, ask him to post a comment and we can see if it goes to SPAM.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No man handy. But wouldn’t the guy-ness mark as spam other men who post?

      Delete
  10. OMG, I can't stop laughing about "Many upright water smokers have limited BBQ sauce recipes while dispersing the direct warm from the resource"!

    Like Deborah, I get junk email for Russian brides and "25 hot beauties waiting for you in their high heels." You can imagine the accompanying photos. Ug.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It IS a blessing that at least our blog comments don't allow pictures.

      Delete
  11. Your book post are beautiful! I heart all of them. Big Deal. Get 15% of your car insured today. No reject . Guarantee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perfectly SPAM-worthy, and yet here you are, Jane. Points for effort.

      Delete
  12. Catching the spammers with web links makes sense, but then, why Jay?

    My current email program spares me--I no longer receive the 'male enhancement product' offers or the Nigerian scam offers. However, in my company email, I constantly get emails addressing any needs I have to enhance the size of my congregation, the power of my preaching, etc.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I posted twice, before this post. The first post had Jay's full name in it. I don't see that in the comments. Did it go to spam ? The second, silly one, referencing car insurance, shows up as a comment. Go figure.

    ReplyDelete
  14. This one. It's hard to beat this: Do you spend a quantity of time comparing unique male enhancement offers.

    I used to get so much spam for this kind of thing. One time I jokingly asked my husband if I should take up one of my many offers, and he said, "Please don't." That still makes me chuckle.

    To go with what Jay said, I used to participate in a lot of message boards, including politics-based ones beginning with the 2000 election cycle (I know, you're shocked). I noticed a lot of similarly worded posts, including ones that were identical to each other, hundreds of them. I asked one poster, shot in the dark, how much he was getting paid to put them up, and he actually answered: ten cents apiece. I don't know how they got counted, but it must have been a lucrative venture, seeing as how the practice continues. Although the bots have no doubt cut into the real peoples' income.

    Poor Jay. Why's everybody always picking on you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ten cents. As lucrative as picking up returnable bottles but without none of the effort. Yesterday then same spammer posted 10 identical spam comments on Jungle Reds.

      Delete
    2. It's probably more than ten cents now. That was almost 18 years ago.

      Delete
  15. This blog answer to my cosmic questions, all of them.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Shown in your blog is great effort. Much I learn in good articles you write. Dude, I am a cute bear or Yoda.

    LOL - those were priceless, Hallie. Thank you for sparing us!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DING DING DING! This one ended up in the Spam folder! Congratulations, Jenn.

      Delete
  17. Specially good post. Today only 50% off on case of Spam direct from Hawaii

    ReplyDelete
  18. MWF ISO EIGHT FEMALES for sexy, mysterious, criminal, noir, cozy, romantic, international, horrific, complicated, funny, ghoulish relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  19. MAINTAIN YOUR WEIGHT AMPUTATE!!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Nice tries SandyG & Denise!
    Sometimes you are seriously scary, Ann.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you think I’m scary, check out my Nigerian prince brother.

      Delete
  21. I'd like to say a word on Spam's behalf. The Spiced Ham version. Very much maligned. Before I became a vegetarian, I liked Spam. Grandma taught me the best way to prepare it. Sprinkle with brown sugar and fry it. Yum.

    By the way, I can't help thinking that some of these almost read like Haiku. Except for the syllable count. So, there's a challenge....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DING DING DING! This went to spam as well.
      Brown sugar and fry? Seriously?
      Yes, bad poetry, hold the grammar checker.

      Delete
  22. Russian bride seeks home mortgage car insurance happy home with beard oil salesman. Loves cute bears, dude.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously ? THAT got published? I must be whitelisted.

      Delete
  23. I think you real like this ingridthoft! No more wrinkles, thir30ty pounds disappeared to! Click here so don't be sorry!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Looks spam-worthy to me, but apparently no cigar.

      Delete
  24. Hmm. I would suspect something in his profile. That and most spam filters don't like a lot of links, but he doesn't use those.

    FB tagged a response I made to a post as spam. The response? "Congratulations"

    My attempt: Great blog. Are you optimizing your SEO for monetization? You may be missing out on much opportunity.

    Mary/Liz

    ReplyDelete
  25. You have beautiful smile. We be maybe good friends. Why to not you like?

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh, shoot, mine made it through. I'm always getting spam on my Facebook author page starting with "You have beautiful smile."

    Hallie, this is hysterical!!

    And now I have to try to come up with one in Haiku....

    ReplyDelete
  27. Win money big time
    Buy bridge in famous London
    Water runs freely

    ReplyDelete
  28. Don't feel bad, Debs - the spammer can't write a novel nearly as well as you.

    ReplyDelete
  29. My spam filter is working pretty well; I went into the spam folder to see what I've been missing. Evidently a lot of Asian girls.
    Meet Asian Girls at Faribault
    Men's Sex Health!
    Are You Owed Cash That You Don?t Know About?
    These are some of the openings. Needless to say I don't open them. Although those Asian girls seem desperate to meet me.

    ReplyDelete
  30. No spam
    No scam
    Hot offer...don't refuse
    No reply....u loose

    ReplyDelete
  31. No spam
    No scam
    Hot offer...don't refuse
    No reply....u loose

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a fun post Hallie! But not so much fun for you having the "cleanup" job

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  32. You make excellent effort with way to do it. Many admires.

    DebRo

    ReplyDelete
  33. You most auspicious blog post has enlitened me with how we can all most improve roMaace lives. We also many remedies to improve eyesite and financial wealth!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That should've triggered it... Terry, you're firing on all cylinders.

      Delete
    2. Improved eyesite AND financial wealth?! I'm in!

      Delete
  34. I think my original comment disappeared

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Helen, you get the grand prize! TWO of your comments went to SPAM. I resurrected them.

      Delete
  35. You have pretty smile and use good words. I am most admire you and your most excellent sexy beard oil. Sunglasses await you in special offer with Russian bride.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha! I did have a comment disappear the other day, but I figured it must have been something I did.

      Delete
  36. These are great Hallie
    I'm cracking up over them
    Please repeat some time.

    (sent by a certified guy to test the y-chromosome detector)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha ha ha! Y chromosome apparently flew under the radar.

      Delete
  37. Must visit you home to make marriage with you. Purchase many beutiful items for excellent beard and member enlargment. www.xxx.beardoil.co

    ReplyDelete
  38. This is one of the funniest posts! Thanks for the good laugh, Hallie! I get SO many spam comments on my blog and unfortunately just permanently deleted some of the best one. Here is one that just popped up:

    Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it.
    Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! By the way,
    how could we communicate?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love this...
      And that IS the cosmic question: how COULD we communicate?

      Delete
  39. Well, I added a tagline, a brief one sentence intro and a photo to the profile. Let's see if that changes anything.

    ReplyDelete
  40. These are the best spam comments! I will take them to heart and apply for change in my life as a result. Thanks for keeping up the work.

    (I don't get spam comments on my own blog every day, but I have to laugh at them when they do show up. These sound all too familiar.)

    ReplyDelete
  41. GOSH ! GOSH ! GOSH ! Too much fabulous !!!

    I had to try even if I'm late

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Obviously not flattering and self-effacing enough.

      Delete
  42. Thanking you much so in advance of your help to me in claiming now the immense monies to be available in your account . We must notify every family of legacy and nw seeking your account to invest in future endeavors.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A noble effort... but apparently not spam-worthy

      Delete
  43. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hello everyone. I was heartbroken because i had a small dick, not nice to satisfy a woman, i had so many relationship called off because of my situation, i have used so many product which i found online but none could offer me the help i searched for. i saw some few comments about this specialist called Dr OLU and decided to email him on drolusoutionhome@gmail.com
    so I decided to give his herbal product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some comforting words with his herbal oil for Penis t, Enlargement Within 1 week of it, i began to feel the enlargement of my dick ” and now it just 2 weeks of using his products my dick is about 9 inches longer and am so happy..feel free to contact DR OLU on(Drolusolutionhome@gmail.com) or Vist his websites for more information [http://droluherbs.clan.su/ ] or whatsapp him on this number +2348140654426

    ReplyDelete
  45. A blog that mushroomed from visual enlightenment.
    duocircle

    ReplyDelete