Monday, August 26, 2019

On Nitpicks


LUCY BURDETTE: There is no doubt that we have some major, major problems in our country and our world—toxic politics, global warming, human rights…it’s easy to get discouraged. Those big things we can only chip away at. I have a few small gripes to pick with the Universe--nothing major, just things that make me say really?? Can’t someone fix that?

First is tags on clothing. What does this mean, can anyone tell me? why can't they simply say, machine wash cold, low dryer?? (Not that this is what they are saying here--for one thing, the symbols are so small...who could possibly read this? And for another, it’s in Chinese, isn’t it?)

Second is my dictation program. We've known each other a long time and it still can't get my names right? Case in point, I ended a recent email with xo Roberta. It came out xo your burger. forget the Isleib part--I know the thing won't even try that. And Lucy Burdette often comes out Lucy forgets or Lucy Bernadette or most recently, “They’re super dad.” Say what?

RHYS BOWEN: Having just returned from a book tour with one flight per day I've several things that drive me bonkers including people who stroll through the terminal at a snail's pace, dragging their luggage, on their phone and not looking where they are going. Or bring smelly food on board. Or let their kids kick my seat, fight or yell. Also people who talk loudly on their phones in public places, like in the Safeway checkout line ahead of me.

And Lucy, I was once sending a message to a professor saying "see you tomorrow' and auto correct said "See you, you moron."

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Lucy, I don't use dictation for writing YET - probably headed that way, though - but my voice-to-text does the same thing and it makes me crazy. I have friends whose last name is Shambaugh, and despite using that name at least 50 times in the last three years I've had this phone, it still transliterates them to Sham Wow. Is the cleaning goods company paying off AT&T for product placement? Inquiring minds want to know.

Okay, I've got a nitpick that may be specific to my area - the rest of you will have to tell me if you've seen it, too. Every summer Portland hosts a wonderful chamber music festival, with amazing musicians from all over the country. The performances take place at Hanneford Hall in the University of Maine, a lovely mid-sized hall with a soaring, light and art-filled lobby. It's a bargain for classical music, about half the price of a Portland Symphony concert, but not, you know, cheap. Or free. But every evening I attended, I saw men there dressed like they were making a run to the transfer station. Tees, shorts, grubby sneakers, untucked shirts. Musicians: Long dresses or black suits. Women in the audience: attractive summer evening wear. Men: Slobs.

And these weren't college-age guys who might not know better. These were mature, gray-haired men. Now, Maine is a very casual place, by and large, and I certainly wouldn't expect anyone to put on a suit on a pleasant August evening. But really, how hard is it to tuck a collared shirt into a pair of clean khakis? The musicians are giving the very best they have; don't sit there looking like you just came inside from mowing the yard.

HALLIE EPHRON: Picking up on clothing tags, my nit is clothing tags. The ones that are stitched into the inside back using what seems more like industrial strength plastic fishing line than thread. Wear it and the pointy plastic ends dig into your skin. You can cut off the tag but just try to remove that filament or whatever it is and you end up with holes in the fabric. Seems like more and more garments now have that label information simply stamped on the inside. So much more sensible.

I'd add purist corn-shuckers. My Stop 'n' Shop frequently sells corn ridiculously cheap, and they have ears of it piled in a big bin with an empty bin alongside so you can shuck your corn right there in the store. It's a lovely convenience. Except for the people who shuck an ear and turn their noses up at a tiny bit of flattened corn kernels and toss it back in the bin. Fussy entitlement, if you ask me.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I will tell you exactly! You know those things you get in the mail, envelopes, that you have to peel off the perforations on each side first, or something, and then bend the top, or something, and then you open it, somehow. I can never ever do those. Never!

Sometimes they have checks in them, so you can’t just toss them, but I don’t understand why they have to make them so hard. They are impossible. 
This morning, I tried to park parallel park in a curved space. Forget about it.
And last night at dinner, I honestly ripped the label out of my sweater. It was stabbing me, mercilessly, between the shoulder blades and I had just had it. YANK.

Plus, one ply toilet tissue. Should be banned. You have to use much much more.

shopping cart by bestaiassistant
Oh, and I am horrible about counting the number of items in the person's cart in the "eight items or less" express lane in front of me . (Whole Foods says "eight items or fewer, which I love." But listen, bub, eight means EIGHT. And eight cans of tuna counts as eight things.

DIctation? Its a landmine. I love it, and use it constantly, so muchI hardly type emails any more. but you have to proofread!  Two faves. Once I emailed my editor: I hope you are enthusiastic. And it typed: I hope you are a doozy Aztec.  
I also dictated: I will send you the acknowledgments later.  And it typed: I will send you the knowledge mints later. 

I am still hoping for those mints. 


DEBORAH CROMBIE: So I'm standing on my front porch, and this person drives down our street throwing junk advertising newspapers in our front yard. Not only do I have to walk out to the curb in 100 degree heat to pick it up, but I then have to recycle the paper AND the plastic bag. Separately. Does anyone ever look at those things? And I'm not even talking about the people who drive by on the main street and throw their litter in our front yard...

Another nitpick--being asked--no, nagged--to get an app for every single store where I shop!  I don't want a gazillion apps on my phone. And what if, for some unimaginable reason, I don't have my phone and need to buy something, or fill a prescription? And that leads me to--every single store asking for my email address. I don't want more emails, thank you very much. I'm usually nice enough to refuse politely, but sometimes I'm tempted to say, "Hell, no."

One more! I don't use dictation much, although I'm sure I should. But I usually use Gmail for my email, and the auto-type drives me nuts. I swear I've got carpal tunnel syndrome just from back-spacing. I don't need help to write a sentence!


JENN McKINLAY: Nitpicks. How much time do you have? My number one is turn signals. Why can't people use their blinkers? You're not giving information to the enemy, people! 

Also, the ticker tape that comes out of the receipt printer at the pharmacy. I bought three things - THREE - why is my receipt three and half yards long? What am I supposed to do with this? It's a waste of paper, ink, and my time. Grrr.

How about you Red readers? Any nitpicks you'd like us to address?

Lastly, here are our events, giveaways, etc., happening now:

JENN: We are in the final days of my publisher's Goodreads Giveaway - 15 copies of WORD TO THE WISE are up for grabs!

JULIA: You have six more days to get the first book in the Clare Fergusson/ Russ Van Alstyne series is on sale for only $2.99! Kindle: amzn.to/2LXuDXk iBooks: apple.co/2GGQHkB  
Nook: bit.ly/2YkAext  
Kobo: bit.ly/32ZVmrD

Want a trade paper copy instead? Enter the Goodreads giveaway, also running until the end of August. 25 copies are up for grabs.


72 comments:

  1. I'll add ads that pop up on my computer and the gazillion apps on my phone that I’ll never, ever use because I don’t even know what they’re for . . . .

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    1. Yes Joan! I was thinking the other day I need to get rid of some apps...you have grandchildren who could probably help:)

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    2. Yes! Our phones came with some kind of NFL app, that CANNOT BE REMOVED. What? How is that important to my life in any way? I have disabled it, though, along with a bunch of other very intrusive apps. You can do all that in Settings, Joan, if you're brave.

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  2. Here's to nitpicks! I can relate to practically every single one of those given at one time or another. Mine right now is this: why do things disappear from my phone? I have the icons I use most often in orderly rows (and true, just try to delete the ones you will never ever in a gazillion years use) and the next time I look at my phone, poof! The icon I need is hidden away on another screen. STOP IT! I want to say, but I don't know to whom I should be complaining! A co-worker used her facebook app on her break. Two minutes later, she looked at her phone and the app was just gone. Period. Sigh.

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    1. Oh that sounds like big brother at work with your co-worker LOL! I know what you mean--something like Google maps can be filed in another folder where you'd never find it--just weird!

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    2. That happened to me this weekend! I have ALWAYS had the current temperature on my phone's home screen. Then...it went away and I can't figure out how to get it back. I didn't update or do anything. Overnight it was gone. GRRR.

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  3. People who freak out about global warming, 50 years ago it was global cooling. Democrats who vilify anyone who doesn't agree with their left-wing agenda. Drivers in Connecticut. Rude people in Connecticut. And the ridiculously high taxes in Connecticut. People who like the Red Sox. People that call the Long Island Sound the ocean-it's not. People who recycle and demand everyone else does. And it's none of my business how many items someone has in their cart. I think that's it!

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    1. Wait - what's wrong with liking your home team?

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    2. Edith, I'm guessing Anonymous lives in CT--that's my detective skills at work LOL. Since we're halfway between New York and Boston, we have trouble with choosing baseball team favorites--and it's a very hot issue!

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    3. This season the Red Sox are hard to like, but we're doing our best.

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    5. Sounds like someone is hankering to move :)

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  4. OMG, those autocorrects gave me a good giggle! And yeah, don't even get me started on the blinkers. The light has turned green and THEN you tell me you're turning left? Come one, people.

    Jenn, I went to digital receipts at CVS. No more yard-long receipts. Here's one. We still used pencils for crossword puzzles. Why can't they make bigger and better erasers? The pencil always lasts way longer than the eraser, so then you need two pencils, or an add-on eraser, or a separate eraser. Grrr.

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    1. ERASERS! I recently bought pencils and the erasers were fake. Plastic fakes. Seriously?

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    2. Plastic face erasers? That is horrific, absolutely horrific And Edith, the turn signals! I so agree!

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    3. My personal theory is that the Chinese manufacturers that make them are messing with us, just because they can.

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  5. Julia, yes if I was going to something like a classical music event, I'd dress appropriate to the situation. Of course, I avoid that stuff so T-shirts and shorts for me!

    And I'm annoying Anonymous because even though they are just BAD this year, Go Sox!

    I'm with Hank on the express lane item count thing at the grocery store.

    Jenn, maybe the people who don't use their blinkers actually do...they just don't realize they are out of blinker fluid. :D


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    1. When Jenn wrote that, I thought, "A lot of Massachusetts people must retire to Arizona." :-)

      And Jay, thank you. When I go to a ball game, I wear a t-shirt and shorts. Just keep it appropriate to the event, right? (Of course, this could lead to another nitpick, about people who wear what seem to be PJs and flip-flops on flights...

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  6. How about the tabs on canned goods? No can opener needed. But I've broken fingernails or broken the tab off when the lid was only part way up. I've learned that if I can at least lift the tab, and I can't always do even that, then a wooden spoon handle in the tab circle makes a fairly good lifter.

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    1. We had that problem on a recent can of anchovies. I know,serves us right for eating anchovies. But the tab broke and I practically had to get out a hammer to open the can.

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    2. That happens with T-bone's cat food all the time--same ballpark as anchovies, right?

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    3. Argh, our canned dog food has pull-tab tops, and I swear half of the last case broke. And a can opener never really solves the problem!

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  7. I am laughing but it's not really funny. Some of these are serious problems, the turn signals for one.
    Julia, the lack of dress sense is not just a Portland problem. We have a wonderful music hall here in Atlanta on a college campus and the musicians look wonderful, the ladies in the audience look nice but some of the men look like the great unwashed. I know some of them are academics but wrinkled, baggy tee shirts are not acceptable outside of the gym. Don't get me started on the retired physician who wears Hawaiian shirts.

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    1. Please assure me Hawaiian shirts are okay for dress up in Florida.. otherwise I will need to attend some style classes.

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    2. Coralee, I would think Hawaiian shirts - with actual pants and real shoes - are fine for dress up in Florida, or Hawaii, or southern California. In a big city like Atlanta, less so. And in Maine, they say, "Party time!"

      My husband Ross ADORED Hawaiian shirts and wore them whenever he could. The day after his funeral, we had a party at our house with close friends and family, and everyone wore Hawaiian shirts. :-)

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    3. The Hub lives in Hawaiian shirts, formal event or not :)

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    4. I did not mean to disparage Hawaiian shirts all of the time but for an event when every other man has on a coat and button down shirt, maybe not. It's fine in Atlanta and elsewhere for most other events. He just wears them everywhere and doesn't seem to know about ironing.
      We have been to many a party with Hawaiian shirts or cotton or linen shirts workout over khakis but they were ironed , at least when the party started. For a concert in Symphony Hall or in the College concert hall, I just like to see people dressed neatly.

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  8. I will not use dictation programs for this very reason. But the corrections gave me a huge laugh this morning.

    You've hit most of mine, but I'll throw in Voice Recognition Units for companies when you call. They can never understand me unless I speak loudly and ridiculously slow. Would it kill you to give me the option to press a number? Sheesh.

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    1. Oh yes, me too Liz! You want to start screaming at them...

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    2. Oh, I have. It doesn't help, but I have. "I want to talk to a carbon-based life form!" Argh.

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  9. , since I am on book tour, how about the people who put their baggage in the overhead bin at the front of the plane when they are sitting in the back of the plane? I could seriously get angry about this… Once I even confronted someone over it, :-) but that’s another blog. But people, put the bag over the seat you’re assigned to. That way everyone is happy.

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    1. I really hate trying to remember which bin I actually stuffed my bag in because, of course, the one over my seat was overflowing by the time I got there.

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    2. Totally agree, Hank! I always sit at the front and watch people jamming bags into bins around me. Also stop and check seat numbers in row 6 when they are in row 29. Isn't it obvious it's not row 29?

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  10. Flying brings out the worst in us: the bare feet, stinky tennis clothes or pajamas, the shopping bags and totes in addition to a bulging "overhead" bag that doesn't fit, the flight attendant who yelled at anyone who takes their shoes off on a nine-hour flight, and finally, the sold-out overseas flight that ran out of everything except "spicey chicken taco" sandwiches. I had terminal heartburn just looking at it. After eight hours with no food, I told the flight attendant I'd eat anything, including packages of crackers. She gave me a delightful cheese, nuts, and dried fruit tray from first class. Lesson learned! I will never fly without a sandwich, dried fruit, and cheese.

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    1. That's a good lesson about food. I cannot believe a flight attendant scolded people for taking their shoes off!!

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    2. Shocked about the flight attendant scolding someone for taking their shoes off on a long haul flight--but maybe the person wasn't wearing socks and a fellow passenger complained about the smell!

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    3. I never leave my house without a snack, especially when flying. Some of the airplane food is straight up inedible.

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  11. Gaah! I wonder if the increasing use of dictation is responsible for the (also) increasing number of spelling/grammar mistakes I see in printed material. Nobody seems to proofread any more... I understand that newspapers are on a tight schedule so I'm inclined to give them a bit of a break, but a book that has been in progress for many months and that I paid $30 for should have its they're/there/their in order!

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    1. even if the words were dictated by the writer, the copyedits SHOULD catch the problems, right?

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  12. Great advice, to go to digital receipt at the drugstore! CVS seems the worst at the overly long receipts.

    Because of my voice tremor, none of my devices can understand my dictation, so I am resigned to typing everything in. "Call Steve" should not be THAT hard to understand, but apparently, it is. Ironic, that a synthesized voice program cannot understand an actual human being.

    We live near a 17,000-capacity outdoor music venue, and it provides three different irritations. The first is loud music. Why should I be able to hear every word of a song being played TWO MILES away? And how is that affecting the hearing of those in close proximity? The second is the litter that drunk concert goers throw everywhere, but especially around the venue, and in the parking lots while tailgating all day long before the concert. Jimmy Buffett fans are the worst, with Chinese-made parrothead debris and leis left amongst the usual beer bottles and red Solo cups. How hard is it to collect your own trash? I'm always stunned at the mess the next morning, which means the venue has to send crews, plural, out to clear up and haul away mountains of junk.

    And thirdly, some of that trash also gets thrown out the window as they drive past. Not just concertgoers, but it happens all the time, and is not limited to our road. It's very important for THEM to have a clean car, but the entire rest of the world has to pick up after them.

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    1. Holy yikes Karen! we get a lot of trash after events in Key West too. (Though I'm surprised that Parrotheads are the worst offenders.) The city has a pretty strict noise ordinance--I wonder if your town could set one in motion?

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    2. The venue has been there for almost 40 years, and I think sometimes people call with complaints about the sound level, because occasionally it goes down.

      Parrotheads here are CRAZY, and Buffett used to come here three times a summer. Not sure he does any more.

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  13. I must live an uncomplicated life here. I'm very concerned about what is going on in the world, but as for pet peeves, as long as nobody dies, I'm good.

    I do wish for the annihilation of all baseball caps except those worn by baseball players. No one else looks good in them, especially if they don't chew baccy. Or even if they do. At least limit wearing them to outside in the sunshine. I fail to see a reason for one inside, in a nice restaurant. Or a concert sitting next to Julia. Or when appearing in the halls of justice to bail out an errant relative who just robbed a 7-11.

    Failing total elimination of such attire, I suggest each have DORK imprinted on the front.

    Oh wait, that's been done. MAGA is Moldavan for dork, isn't it?

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    1. Ann, I'm laughing. Honestly, everytime I see a man indoors with his hat on*, I think, your parents didn't raise you right.

      *Exceptions made for orthodox Jews and military personnel under certain circumstances.

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    2. I really can’t wait to meet you in October. Maybe we can see who spots the most indoor hats. I make a huge exception for fascinators, which fascinate me, indoors or out

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    3. I don't mind ball caps, but for heavens sake, TAKE THEM OFF INDOORS!

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    4. It’s too hot for hats indoors in AZ - right now I feel like it’s too hot to live...ugh.

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  14. I have a few! Bad bakes of mine is one, I totally agree with the labels on clothes which are almost impossible to unpick without damage, plus medical offices who want me to write them up on social media after every visit. Why should I? Do they really want me to say the receptionist or nurse was rude or incompetent in some way? That’s a private issue. But the one that tops my list is the ‘garblers’, usually employed by multinationals or health insurance phone banks. They garble their names, etc at top speed leaving me to say slowly, “ please repeat that, you are speaking too fast, softly, unclearly so I did not understand what you said.” Often the conversation goes downhill from there.

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    1. Celia, you are so right about the people who say their names, at least I think that is what they are doing, so fast I can't understand them. And sometimes there is a heavy accent to add to the mix. I now ask them to spell their name for me since I have trouble hearing what they said. I will also ask them to speak more slowly and louder. Usually that is enough but their have been times I've had to ask them more than once to slow down.

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    2. Right on Judi, spelling, repeating s l o w l y, asking for a supervisor, trying to make them understand that each call introduces then to a new person who needs their help.

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  15. The laundry symbols are universal, and meant to transcend language barriers, although they do seem ridiculously difficult to figure out. Here's a link to a chart:

    http://www.textileaffairs.com/lguide.htm

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    1. Thanks for the link Karen! I see your point, but who has time to go check a website while doing laundry?:)

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  16. Karen answered the question about laundry marks.. Yet I still feel sorry for the black triangle. Why is is crossed out? What ever did it do? Pet peeves? Literally pet owners who let their animals run free. Also if we are going to have grass, why do we have to mow it? What would happen if we all had meadows? Wild flowers for bees anyone?
    What about appliances that a short person can't clean? I can't reach the bottom of my washer or the back of my refrigerator; so much fun cleaning with a stick -- Jenn, ya wanna come to FL?

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    1. I'm all for the meadows, with bee-friendly flowers! and Jenn could make the rounds of us short people...

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  17. Wow!

    Jenn, thinking about the turn signals. Perhaps those who do not use turn signals think they are being followed and had seen too many American car chase movies. LOL. As a relatively new driver, I always use turn signals. However, I sometimes forget to turn off the signals!

    Interesting about voice to text because I use it for practicing my pronouncation of different words. Sometimes saying something as simple as "How are you?" comes out differently! It's hilarious.

    Hallie, I wonder if you will be on Candid Camera? it sounds like a set up for Candid Camera!

    Diana

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  18. Maybe I am out of step with most of society because I am a doozy Aztec. Pet peeves: driving and talking on the phone. Do one or the other, but not both. One of our younger new neighbors sat in her car, in front of the open gate (we share a drive with 3 houses) to the street for several minutes. I assume she was on her phone. I was trying to back out to the street to get to an appointment. I swear those neighbors are the most clueless people who have ever lived in our little conclave. No common sense at all. Another gripe. Our neighborhood is very walkable and lots of people walk their dogs. Not all clean up after their dogs. And then there are some who pick up the poop and then leave the bag sitting there on the ground for someone else to pick up. What the hell?
    I don't know why but turn signals seem to have become optional years ago. And why do slower drivers sit in the fast lane/passing lane? And I'm with you, Celia. I am not going to provide feedback on my doctor visits to them, Facebook, Yelp, or anyone else. And don't waste a stamp mailing me a survey to fill out either. After years in a job with too much paperwork I am not taking on more unnecessary makework. Or taking phone surveys. Or answering the phone when Unavailable or Anonymous calls. I think all medical offices should show their names in caller ID. And yet many of them don't. It makes me wonder if the staff use their personal phones to call patients and they block their ID. I could go on all day but I don't think it would be healthy. I'll just end with groups of shoppers who wander the parking lot, abreast, so cars can't get past them.

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    1. I hear ya, Pat! Especially with the no-name phone calls and
      solicitations for answering surveys, ugh! They are everywhere.
      I'll add blogs and food sites where all I want is the info, especially
      recipes I was directed to (by another blog or Pinterest)and they want
      me to sign up for newsletters, or make it hard to read because I
      use an ad blocker, which they want me to turn off, and Cookies" they want
      to use to track me---NO THANKS!

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  19. From reading all these comments I see I should be much more concerned about things! I remember flying with my parents in the 60s and everyone dressed up! Lets's see. Yes, driving is a big one--tailgating, turning left in front of me when I have the right of way to go straight. Lingering when the light turns green. Luckily, my driving is perfect. I don't mind baseball caps, but yes, not inside. I don't worry so much about the world because I trust God. Worrying never helps. People who cut their dinner rolls -- they should be gently torn. You don't use the butter knife to spread butter- you use it to put the butter on the plane. People who block grocery store aisles while talking. I guess I do have a lot!

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  20. ****PLATE you use the butter knife to put butter on the PLATE, not PLANE****

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  21. Shalom Reds and fans. When I was growing up, news articles in the New York Times, except for those from the wire services, had a byline and a date line indicating the city of origin and the date. Now, it is very difficult to find a date on anything. (JRW excepted.) I find this very frustrating particularly when I find out the article is years old. There is a lot of flotsam and jetsam on the web.

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  22. Hank, the Irish have the Salmon of Knowledge. I don't know why somebody can't come up with some Mints of Knowledge. Better for vegetarians, anyway

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  23. Medicine like Excedrin or Tylenol that comes in those bottles that you push and turn at the same time. They are hard to open the first time because of the seal but I had one that I had to stamp on until it broke so I could put the pills in the old bottle!

    And robocalls. Nancy from something about Medicare calls several times a day, and there are plenty others. We need a superhacker to locate "Nancy" and then call her phones constantly!

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  24. Women's clothing sizes for one. You must try everything on. The other is discovering that carbon monoxide is used in packages of fish and beef imported from China. Bought and returned to Walmart the same day.

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  25. My main one right now is FAUX News in the Y locker room -- I turned it off again today. Not good for the blood pressure, defeats the benefits of exercise. Costco doesn't have an express lane, but the cashiers are fast, and people sometimes let one-item folks go ahead of them. I don't care what others wear to concerts, as long as they don't talk during the performance.

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  26. Coming in late today. I should have had this post yesterday. Everything was a pet peeve. Hahaha! Today, the list is considerably slimmer. Since I seem to get so many every day, I'll have to start with telemarketers and robocalls. Drivers who stay in the left lane on highways and interstates drive me crazy. The left lane is for passing. It's not a choose whichever lane you want situation.

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  27. No one has mentioned car blinkers that are never turned off. You completed your lane change 5 miles back, turn off your blinker. Right turn blinkers are more irritating, especially on the freeway.

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  28. I'm with you on the number of items in the cart, Hank. Especially the people who completely ignore it.

    I do appreciate the signs at my local Trader Joe's. "15 Items or fewer - Give or take a few."

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