LUCY BURDETTE: There is no doubt that we have some major, major problems in our country and our world—toxic politics, global warming, human rights…it’s easy to get discouraged. Those big things we can only chip away at. I have a few small gripes to pick with the Universe--nothing major, just things that make me say really?? Can’t someone fix that?
First is tags on clothing. What does this mean, can anyone tell me? why can't they simply say, machine wash cold, low dryer?? (Not that this is what they are saying here--for one thing, the symbols are so small...who could possibly read this? And for another, it’s in Chinese, isn’t it?)
Second is my dictation program. We've known each other a long time and it still can't get my names right? Case in point, I ended a recent email with xo Roberta. It came out xo your burger. forget the Isleib part--I know the thing won't even try that. And Lucy Burdette often comes out Lucy forgets or Lucy Bernadette or most recently, “They’re super dad.” Say what?
RHYS BOWEN: Having just returned from a book tour with one flight per day I've several things that drive me bonkers including people who stroll through the terminal at a snail's pace, dragging their luggage, on their phone and not looking where they are going. Or bring smelly food on board. Or let their kids kick my seat, fight or yell. Also people who talk loudly on their phones in public places, like in the Safeway checkout line ahead of me.
And Lucy, I was once sending a message to a professor saying "see you tomorrow' and auto correct said "See you, you moron."
JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Lucy, I don't use dictation for writing YET - probably headed that way, though - but my voice-to-text does the same thing and it makes me crazy. I have friends whose last name is Shambaugh, and despite using that name at least 50 times in the last three years I've had this phone, it still transliterates them to Sham Wow. Is the cleaning goods company paying off AT&T for product placement? Inquiring minds want to know.
Okay, I've got a nitpick that may be specific to my area - the rest of you will have to tell me if you've seen it, too. Every summer Portland hosts a wonderful chamber music festival, with amazing musicians from all over the country. The performances take place at Hanneford Hall in the University of Maine, a lovely mid-sized hall with a soaring, light and art-filled lobby. It's a bargain for classical music, about half the price of a Portland Symphony concert, but not, you know, cheap. Or free. But every evening I attended, I saw men there dressed like they were making a run to the transfer station. Tees, shorts, grubby sneakers, untucked shirts. Musicians: Long dresses or black suits. Women in the audience: attractive summer evening wear. Men: Slobs.
And these weren't college-age guys who might not know better. These were mature, gray-haired men. Now, Maine is a very casual place, by and large, and I certainly wouldn't expect anyone to put on a suit on a pleasant August evening. But really, how hard is it to tuck a collared shirt into a pair of clean khakis? The musicians are giving the very best they have; don't sit there looking like you just came inside from mowing the yard.
Okay, I've got a nitpick that may be specific to my area - the rest of you will have to tell me if you've seen it, too. Every summer Portland hosts a wonderful chamber music festival, with amazing musicians from all over the country. The performances take place at Hanneford Hall in the University of Maine, a lovely mid-sized hall with a soaring, light and art-filled lobby. It's a bargain for classical music, about half the price of a Portland Symphony concert, but not, you know, cheap. Or free. But every evening I attended, I saw men there dressed like they were making a run to the transfer station. Tees, shorts, grubby sneakers, untucked shirts. Musicians: Long dresses or black suits. Women in the audience: attractive summer evening wear. Men: Slobs.
And these weren't college-age guys who might not know better. These were mature, gray-haired men. Now, Maine is a very casual place, by and large, and I certainly wouldn't expect anyone to put on a suit on a pleasant August evening. But really, how hard is it to tuck a collared shirt into a pair of clean khakis? The musicians are giving the very best they have; don't sit there looking like you just came inside from mowing the yard.
HALLIE EPHRON: Picking up on clothing tags, my nit is clothing tags. The ones that are stitched into the inside back using what seems more like industrial strength plastic fishing line than thread. Wear it and the pointy plastic ends dig into your skin. You can cut off the tag but just try to remove that filament or whatever it is and you end up with holes in the fabric. Seems like more and more garments now have that label information simply stamped on the inside. So much more sensible.
I'd add purist corn-shuckers. My Stop 'n' Shop frequently sells corn ridiculously cheap, and they have ears of it piled in a big bin with an empty bin alongside so you can shuck your corn right there in the store. It's a lovely convenience. Except for the people who shuck an ear and turn their noses up at a tiny bit of flattened corn kernels and toss it back in the bin. Fussy entitlement, if you ask me.
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I will tell you exactly! You know those things you get in the mail, envelopes, that you have to peel off the perforations on each side first, or something, and then bend the top, or something, and then you open it, somehow. I can never ever do those. Never!
Sometimes they have checks in them, so you can’t just toss them, but I don’t understand why they have to make them so hard. They are impossible.
This morning, I tried to park parallel park in a curved space. Forget about it.
And last night at dinner, I honestly ripped the label out of my sweater. It was stabbing me, mercilessly, between the shoulder blades and I had just had it. YANK.
Plus, one ply toilet tissue. Should be banned. You have to use much much more.
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DIctation? Its a landmine. I love it, and use it constantly, so muchI hardly type emails any more. but you have to proofread! Two faves. Once I emailed my editor: I hope you are enthusiastic. And it typed: I hope you are a doozy Aztec.
I also dictated: I will send you the acknowledgments later. And it typed: I will send you the knowledge mints later.
I am still hoping for those mints.
DEBORAH CROMBIE: So I'm standing on my front porch, and this person drives down our street throwing junk advertising newspapers in our front yard. Not only do I have to walk out to the curb in 100 degree heat to pick it up, but I then have to recycle the paper AND the plastic bag. Separately. Does anyone ever look at those things? And I'm not even talking about the people who drive by on the main street and throw their litter in our front yard...
Another nitpick--being asked--no, nagged--to get an app for every single store where I shop! I don't want a gazillion apps on my phone. And what if, for some unimaginable reason, I don't have my phone and need to buy something, or fill a prescription? And that leads me to--every single store asking for my email address. I don't want more emails, thank you very much. I'm usually nice enough to refuse politely, but sometimes I'm tempted to say, "Hell, no."
One more! I don't use dictation much, although I'm sure I should. But I usually use Gmail for my email, and the auto-type drives me nuts. I swear I've got carpal tunnel syndrome just from back-spacing. I don't need help to write a sentence!
JENN McKINLAY: Nitpicks. How much time do you have? My number one is turn signals. Why can't people use their blinkers? You're not giving information to the enemy, people!
Also, the ticker tape that comes out of the receipt printer at the pharmacy. I bought three things - THREE - why is my receipt three and half yards long? What am I supposed to do with this? It's a waste of paper, ink, and my time. Grrr.
How about you Red readers? Any nitpicks you'd like us to address?
Lastly, here are our events, giveaways, etc., happening now:
JENN: We are in the final days of my publisher's Goodreads Giveaway - 15 copies of WORD TO THE WISE are up for grabs!
JULIA: You have six more days to get the first book in the Clare Fergusson/ Russ Van Alstyne series is on sale for only $2.99! Kindle: amzn.to/2LXuDXk iBooks: apple.co/2GGQHkB
Nook: bit.ly/2YkAext
Kobo: bit.ly/32ZVmrD
Want a trade paper copy instead? Enter the Goodreads giveaway, also running until the end of August. 25 copies are up for grabs.
Another nitpick--being asked--no, nagged--to get an app for every single store where I shop! I don't want a gazillion apps on my phone. And what if, for some unimaginable reason, I don't have my phone and need to buy something, or fill a prescription? And that leads me to--every single store asking for my email address. I don't want more emails, thank you very much. I'm usually nice enough to refuse politely, but sometimes I'm tempted to say, "Hell, no."
One more! I don't use dictation much, although I'm sure I should. But I usually use Gmail for my email, and the auto-type drives me nuts. I swear I've got carpal tunnel syndrome just from back-spacing. I don't need help to write a sentence!
JENN McKINLAY: Nitpicks. How much time do you have? My number one is turn signals. Why can't people use their blinkers? You're not giving information to the enemy, people!
Also, the ticker tape that comes out of the receipt printer at the pharmacy. I bought three things - THREE - why is my receipt three and half yards long? What am I supposed to do with this? It's a waste of paper, ink, and my time. Grrr.
How about you Red readers? Any nitpicks you'd like us to address?
Lastly, here are our events, giveaways, etc., happening now:
JENN: We are in the final days of my publisher's Goodreads Giveaway - 15 copies of WORD TO THE WISE are up for grabs!
JULIA: You have six more days to get the first book in the Clare Fergusson/ Russ Van Alstyne series is on sale for only $2.99! Kindle: amzn.to/2LXuDXk iBooks: apple.co/2GGQHkB
Nook: bit.ly/2YkAext
Kobo: bit.ly/32ZVmrD
Want a trade paper copy instead? Enter the Goodreads giveaway, also running until the end of August. 25 copies are up for grabs.
