Thursday, September 26, 2019

Lucy is Revising THE KEY LIME CRIME


cover draft, final to come


LUCY BURDETTE: As you heard last week, most of us don't mind revising with a good editor, and some of us love it. Crooked Lane does things a little differently from what I've experienced with previous publishers--they use freelance editors. When I got my edited manuscript back two weeks ago, I was thrilled to recognize the editor as my previous NAL editor for this series, Sandy Harding. 

Sandy has a talent for putting her finger right on problems (plot and character)--I have a tendency to be vague about details in early drafts because I'm busy nailing the story down. And she also points out where good moments in the book could be expanded for better effect. Here's an example. On the side you can see her comment, and underlined sentences are my fixes.



In the olden days, all this didn't happen online. I'd send the printed manuscript in the mail, and get it back pocked with yellow sticky notes that had suggestions scribbled on them. When I taught mystery writing to 5th graders, I loved showing them that stack of pages--they were horrified at the amount of work writing a book involves!

Okay, I have to get back to fixing my problems, but I'll leave you with a little snippet from THE KEY LIME CRIME. I chose it  since everyone loves Miss Gloria. Helen is Hayley's mother-in-law and the three of them are investigating a murder of course...

We zipped up to Houseboat Row where Miss Gloria was waiting in the driver’s seat of her big Buick with the engine running. She had the windows open and some kind of rock music pumping out from the radio. 

“Want me to drive?” I asked.

“No thanks,” she said cheerfully. “I don’t want to get rusty. And we don’t have far to go, so how much damage can I do?” She cackled as we got in, then craned around to grin at Helen in the back seat, gunned the engine, and lurched out onto Palm Avenue. I gripped my door handle and gritted my teeth, waiting for the sound of blaring horns and the crash of metal. Mercifully none of that came.

“We’ve got a lot on the schedule today, don’t we?” Miss Gloria asked. “I figure we’ll park in the garage on Caroline Street and then walk to the Pie Company, right?”

“Right,” I said. “And Helen and I have agreed, we aren’t investigating. On the other hand, if some tidbit related to Claudette falls in our laps, we’ll gather it up and pass it on to Nathan.”

“Remember to think about the person behind the crime,” Helen a.k.a. my mother-in-law said, leaning forward and grabbing the driver side headrest. “We’re not only collecting recipes, we’re understanding a murderer. And his victim.”

“Oh, Hayley is unbelievable at that,” said Miss Gloria, glancing in the rear view mirror. “She has more friends than anyone I know—and that’s because she knows what makes people tick. And even if she doesn’t care for somebody, she works at understanding why they’re crabby. And the next thing you know, they’re friends. I’m certain Nathan’s told you how she solved a couple of crimes. Not that he appreciates that one bit.” 

She chuckled, and I squeezed her arm to thank her for sticking up for me, but then let go fast so she would concentrate on swinging around the curve that led into Eaton Street without taking out cars in the oncoming traffic. She found an open space in the Caroline Street garage, avoided nicking anyone’s paint job, and we wended our way through a mob of visitors to the shop on Greene Street.

“Please,” I whispered to Miss Gloria, “let me ask the questions?” I didn’t dare say the same to Helen, but I hoped I’d made my point clear.

We signed in at the cash register and Sigrid led us to the back room of the shop with three other students—Lori, Judy, and Louise—friends visiting from New Jersey to celebrate the New Year and escape a week of bitter cold temperatures. Sigrid gestured for us to stop next to two large sinks. 

“No one starts the class without washing up and dressing in our chef’s costume,” she said, grinning. She described how we should scrub our hands and then don plastic gloves and aprons and finally a hairnet.

“All you ladies look so cute,” said Miss Gloria. “You are rocking those hairnets. We need pictures of this.”

“Give me your phones,” Sigrid said, “and I’ll take some pix.”

I hardly wanted this outfit broadcast on social media. The net flattened our hair against our heads, and the clear plastic on our hands and torso made us resemble packaged meat. Not a good look for any of us. On the other hand, Palamina would love it if I posted these photos on Instagram and Facebook. Pictures of pie after pie after pie could be broken up with some comic relief. And it might relax the instructor if we behaved like normal students rather than murder inquisitionists. I took off one of the gloves, dug in my back pocket, and handed over my phone.

Miss Gloria clapped her plastic-covered hands together. “I feel like we’re Lucy and Ethel in the chocolate shop, remember that episode in I love Lucy? I watch it once a week, along with the video about the cat who sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with his owner. With the world such a mess, it pays to find things that make you laugh. I’ll find it for you when we finish the class,” she told the ladies from New Jersey.

Mrs. Bransford looked a little googly-eyed. My roommate could have that effect on people until they got used to her chirpy nature.

And here's what I did to research the scene--with the real Lori, Judy, and Louise...Can't you picture Miss Gloria and Hayley right here too? Now, a question for writers and non-writers alike: How do you do at handling feedback on a project you've worked hard on?



PS the pre-order link with the new cover is not up yet, but I will alert you when it is. Meanwhile, A DEADLY FEAST will be out in Mass market paperback on June 9 and you can order that now: Barnes and Noble, Amazon, Indiebound...

Lucy Burdette writes the Key West food critic mystery series, which can be bought wherever books are sold. Please follow her on Bookbub, Instagram, and Facebook!

43 comments:

  1. Sounds delicious. Looking forward to it.

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  2. Thanks for this snippet . . . I adore Miss Gloria and I’m looking forward to reading the rest of this story . . . .

    I suppose editing on the computer is a lot faster [and perhaps easier?] . . . . Do you think computers have improved the editing process or do you feel a bit like there’s something missing in this process?

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    1. Thanks Joan:). I think it's a little of both. The bad thing about the paper edits was having to go back to the manuscript and type in all the changes. The good thing about a paper copy is sometimes you see issues and problems and themes that didn't pop on the computer screen. I used to print EVERYTHING out to edit it myself. It's rare for me to do that now, so I guess I've adjusted!

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  3. Lucy, thanks for the snippet. I loved Deadly Feast! A good editor can make a difference! An author, whom I have never seen here on Jungle Reds, writes fiction and I loved her earlier books. The recent novels sounded like she changed editors. The writing was still good though her stories were now hard to follow. Although I did love her recent YA novels.

    Feedback always is appreciated, especially from people whose opinion you value. If the feedback is clear and explains well, then it is great! Sometimes the feedback is more confusing and I ask more questions to clarify the statements from the feedback.

    Key Lime Crime - I am so awful at remembering titles. Was there another novel that you wrote a few years ago with Key Lime in the title?

    We all love Miss Gloria.

    Diana

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    1. that's interesting about an editor possibly making the fiction harder to follow. It could happen! And I've learned with many years of critique groups that I can get feedback that seems way off base, BUT it usually identifies a place where there's a problem. Then I can go fix it my way:)

      There was a key lime pie in the first book, AN APPETITE FOR MURDER, but not in the title! Miss Gloria thanks you!

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  4. Lucy and Ethel--I have great hopes for the end of this scene! Can't wait to read the book!

    I'm too old to believe anything I've done is perfect, so I'm always willing to entertain constructive feedback. I may not agree or make changes, but will do so if I think it will improve my work and be glad for the help.

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  5. Feedback is good when it is sincere and explained well. I’m anxious to see how Nathan holds up with three “helpers”!

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    1. Luckily for him, he's out of the house working a lot during this book. Although that causes problems too:)

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  6. Yummy! Those kinds of edits are perfect. I'll take them any day. But when a copyeditor tries to make Indiana dialect in dialog pretty and grammatical, I get steamed. Grr. Luckily my editor backs me up o that.

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    1. I've been lucky with copyeditors--can't think of one major disaster!

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  7. My mother was my editor on the little bit of writing I did for stories I wrote for my niece or when I'd write the occasional letter to the editor. I usually had no problem when she suggested changing something.

    Now that I have an editor for the book reviews that I do for Mystery Scene, I've found that when I get edit suggestions back on my reviews, my writing is that much stronger. I've done 33 or so reviews so far and there's only been two times where I didn't agree with an edit suggestion. And that was due to the suggestion making it sound like someone other than me wrote it.

    I find that I'm good with having to deal with an editor because I come off sounding a lot smarter than we all know that I am.

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    1. see, that's exactly it Jay, a good editor makes us sound better! You've got a lot of reviews under your belt--congratulations!

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  8. Oh, I’m fine with criticism— from someone who knows what they’re talking about! Because of course, I can’t think of everything, and I’m not going to have every good idea, right? So I welcome a good idea. I also welcome bad ones, because it makes me have to parse out why I did what I did in the first place. And often there’s a compromise, right? Which makes things better.
    I love your books, Lucy/Roberta! They’re so full of joy and so… Dare I say it?… Relatable. Hurray! And cannot wait to read the whole thing.

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    1. thank you Hank xox. No, we can't have every good idea for sure! And someone else's criticism may spark an idea that was lurking in the back of our minds, ready to be nudged forward...

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  9. I'm SO jealous--wish I were revising. And in LOVE the excerpt! I can see this playing out in my head, like a tv show.

    My experience with a good editor is exactly the same. Lots of time spent smacking myself in the forehead with the heel of my hand and asking, How on earth did I miss that. Groans when the change means a plot change. Then calm and delight rereading and seeing how much better it is.

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    1. that's it exactly! Don't be too jealous because as soon as I'm done with this (due 10/5), I have to go right back to writing from scratch. I have one chapter written in the new book and only vaguest idea where I'm going...it was kind of a relief to be forced to work on something else LOL

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  10. So much fun here! I have to say, the character of Miss Gloria is simply the best! What or who was the inspiration for her?

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    1. Thanks Judi! My paternal grandmother was little and spunky, but not nearly as much fun as Miss G. Also, we have a friend from Key West who's in her 80's and absolutely full of life. That's how I want to be when I grow up! And then honestly, the more people tell me they love Miss Gloria, the more lines I want to give her:)

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  11. congrats on the upcoming release! I still do my final edits on paper and I usually read the passage out loud at the same time. I respect editorial recommendations and think through their positive and negative impacts. For peer critiques, I consider their objections and suggestions and try to figure out what they're really after.

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  12. Miss Gloria and her irrepressible spirit reminds me of my mother, who is still game for whatever adventures come her way, at almost 90. I just love her character, Lucy/Roberta.

    Editing has sure come a long way from reams of paper print-outs covered in red ink, haven't they? Early editing tools in Word were so difficult to figure out, too. This looks much more straightforward.

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    1. thanks Karen, and how lucky you are to have your mother with you! and yes, editing has come so far. As long as I remember to turn on track changes, it's pretty darn easy.

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  13. Looking forward to the book, Lucy Roberta. Your characters are so interesting, both funny yet serious.

    Now, about TBone. How's he adapting to the cat holster? I think there's a book in that adventure too.

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    1. thanks Ann, and T-bone says thanks for asking about what's important! He's had it on twice very briefly and we are keeping it on the bed so it doesn't smell funny. Will try it again today!

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    2. I wonder if putting it on him and then giving him a treat might positively reinforce the idea? Hey, you're the psychologist. Get busy. xox

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  14. I can see this scene ending with hilarity.

    I'm good with feedback. Sometimes it takes me a minute to process it and get over the initial "they don't love me" feeling, but it's always good to be alerted to something that isn't working. It's when people start suggesting very specific "you should do X instead" that I can get a little twitchy. That doesn't usually work for my story or style, but I've learned to answer gracefully. I hope.

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    1. Oh yes Liz, I used to get mad every time a colleague would make specific (often silly) suggestions. I think I've learned to realize that she was putting a finger on a problem, but that i would figure out how to fix it.

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  15. Lucy/Roberta, I love this excerpt. LOVE Miss Gloria, and can't wait to see what sort of trouble this unlikely trio is getting into!

    My editor still does first pass edits on paper. Only problem with that is that sometimes I can't read her handwriting! I still like to do at least one edit on a paper copy as well, as I still find I catch things on the hard copy that I never see on the screen. For copy editing, however, the new editing software is a godsend!!!

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    1. So you are still typing changes in by hand? I have to say I don’t miss that part

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  16. I always like to receive suggestions from my editors. I don't always agree with them but they force me to examine my work more critically. Sometimes I get great ideas from being nudged

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    1. And we can always learn, which you have certainly proven over your long career!

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  17. My editors notes (and notes, and notes) for HID FROM OUR EYES were via email, and then we did a final line edit together on a one-hour conference call. I absolutely LOVE getting to make changes in real time while talking to my editor - the back and forth often leads to some ideas neither of us would have made on out own.

    For the first time, I got an electronic copyedit, which looks much like Lucy's example here. I was dubious at first - I'm of the "if it ain't broke" school of technical innovation -but it didn't take long for me to love the process. It really was SO much easier than making changes on a physical paper copy. My one regret is that this will be the first book I've written which has no foul matter to mark the changes. I do miss the ungainly pile of papers mapping all the changes made.

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    1. That’s fascinating way to edit, on the phone. I have not had that experience. And I agree that it’s odd not to have the pile of papers, but I have a lot of them in a cabinet and wondering what the heck to do with them!

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  18. Just what I needed, a snippet with Haley and Miss Gloria! I love Miss Gloria bragging on Haley to Nathan's mother. I'm looking forward to seeing what Mrs. Bransford is like, too.

    I think correction or criticism from someone can be essential in creating the best story or review or whatever you're writing. But, I will reiterate what some others have said, that it needs to be from someone who knows what they're talking about.

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    1. And especially when you first start writing, you don’t always know the difference between someone who knows what they’re talking about and someone who doesn’t.

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  19. Ah...revisions. Love the sniper, Lucy! So looking forward to reading this one! Yay, Key Lime!!!!

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  20. Ha!!! That was supposed to be snippet!

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    1. I was trying to think where I had possibly put in a sniper LOL

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  21. I love the Lucy and Ethel reference, and I can hardly wait for this book! Those editing efforts do make all the difference, creating prose as smooth as good key lime pie filling. <3

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  22. Lucy, I LOVE my Crooked Lane freelance editor! We always ask for each other. When it comes to handling feedback, my reaction is always twofold. Part one is always, oh no - what if I can't do it?? Part two is always - oh, this makes the (book, screenplay, teleplay, play) so much better!

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