Saturday, November 12, 2022

One Marriage, Two Writers by Matthew Quick @aliciabessettebooks




LUCY BURDETTE: I wonder who loved the movie THE SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK as much as I did? In the small world department, the author of that book, Matthew Quick, is married to another novelist friend, Alicia Bessette. (I keep thinking she's married to Bradley Cooper, but I suspect Matthew is a lot less trouble.) He has a new book out this month called WE ARE THE LIGHT. Though it was nervy of me, I reached out to Alicia to see if he’d visit the blog. I said: “With you would be even better, because I think the idea of two novelists in one family is fascinating.”

We are so lucky that he agreed and that they will both be visiting in the comments! Welcome Matthew and Alicia… (and Kingly) (And there's a giveaway, so be sure to add a comment to be entered.)


MATTHEW QUICK: Back in 2004, after Alicia and I sold our first home, quit our jobs, and publicly declared our efforts to become “real fiction writers,” we had the opportunity to spend a morning with a well-established painter, whom we had met once before and looked up to as a “real working artist.”

I shared my big news, saying I was fully committing to writing fiction and taking the leap.

The painter smiled and said, “Wonderful. Congratulations.” Then, to my wife, he said, “Now what will you do while your husband writes novels?”

Alicia said she was going to be a fiction writer as well, at which point the painter looked back at me, shook his head sadly, and said, “You’re screwed,” only he used stronger language.

The ominous comment made me deeply uncomfortable, perhaps because I had no idea why he was making it. The subject was promptly changed, but Alicia and I have since revisited that conversation many times.

I remember reading an essay in which the writer—was it Anne Lamott?—says something like, everyone in a family gets to be crazy, just not at the same time. And fiction writing—both the actual creative process and the publishing process—can definitely provoke states of temporary madness. In my experience, the writing life is fraught with a few dizzying highs and a few more crushing lows. But there are also the in between states where nothing much happens at all. The voids are where the majority of the writing life is lived, and are often filled with neuroticism that shows up in the form of questions.

Why isn’t my agent and/or editor getting back to me? Is this manuscript sellable in the current market? What is TikTok and why does it make certain books sell? How does the Writers Guild’s health insurance point system work and will I be covered next year? Why haven’t I been able to figure out how to read my royalty statements even though I’ve been dutifully trying for fourteen years now? Did my parents ever really love me? Why do people like this or that book so much more than they like my book? Should I even be perusing Goodreads at this point? Am I too old-looking now in my author photo? How big of a disadvantage is being an introvert in the modern world? Will I have enough money to live comfortably in X amount of years? Should I hire a publicist? Is it time to write that book I’m most afraid of writing? Am I loveable? Should I keep writing? What is the point of all this?

Because we are both writers, Alicia and I have to take turns asking and answering all the above. We have learned that it’s best if we don’t simultaneously spout neurotic questions, because it can start to get really confusing. Who is playing the neurotic? Who is wearing the therapist’s cap today? And who gets to be the neurotic four days a week? Who only gets three? How do we split the division of psychological labor?

All joking aside, I’ve come to believe that the painter was trying to warn us. The creative process demands a lot from an individual, who will undoubtedly need to be supported as they attempt to defy great odds and make a living by crafting and selling art. For most of us, it’s not easy. And when you marry a fiction writer, you double all the highs and lows.

Sometimes the lows of your partner are harder to take. For instance, I’d much rather read a bad review of one of my books than to see someone publicly take down my wife’s work. Same goes for walking into an event space and seeing poor attendance. And the scoreboard of sales. I can often keep expectations for my own publications in check, while my hopes for Alicia’s pub days will always soar high and free as purple martins dancing in the end-of-the-day sky. And as any seasoned novelist will tell you, it’s always best to remain cautiously optimistic.

There are some wonderful upsides to being a fiction writer married to another fiction writer. Alicia and I have a symbiotic writing relationship. Her strengths are my weaknesses and vice versa. I’m a big picture / idea guy by nature with a knack for structure. Alicia is much stronger than me on the sentence level. I can easily understand a character’s motivation and Alicia has no trouble bringing a character’s world to life with poetic language and beautiful imagery. And so—through the editing process—we elevate each other’s work.

When we were first struggling to “make it” as fiction writers, back in the early days, there were bumps in the road. We didn’t always know whose day it was to be neurotic. But we have since matured and now work as a team that prioritizes having as few neurotic days as possible. That doesn’t mean we never get emotional at the same time, because we totally still do. But we now recognize the red flags and can say, “Ah, we know what this is,” and then work to be simultaneously sane and supportive. In this way, we have made a life together—and it is the writing life. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

Are there any writing couples whose work you read? Are there any creative couples reading this post? Novelists, could you ever see yourself marrying another novelist? Why or why not? Non-writers, do you face similar challenges? Let’s discuss.



Matthew Quick is the New York Times bestselling author of The Silver Linings Playbook—which was made into an Oscar-winning film—and eight other novels. His work has been translated into more than thirty languages, received a PEN/Hemingway Award Honorable Mention, was an LA Times Book Prize finalist, a New York Times Book Review Editors’ Choice, a #1 bestseller in Brazil, a Deutscher Jugendliteratur Preis 2016 (German Youth Literature Prize) nominee, and selected by Nancy Pearl as one of Summer’s Best Books for NPR. The Hollywood Reporter has named him one of Hollywood’s 25 Most Powerful Authors. Matthew lives with his wife, the novelist Alicia Bessette, on North Carolina’s Outer Banks. Read more on his website.

PS from Lucy: Matthew is not on social media, but he does send out a monthly personal email about his journey through life and writing. You can subscribe right here.


About WE ARE THE LIGHT: Lucas Goodgame lives in Majestic, Pennsylvania, a quaint suburb that has been torn apart by a recent tragedy. Everyone in Majestic sees Lucas as a hero—everyone, that is, except Lucas himself. Insisting that his deceased wife, Darcy, visits him every night in the form of an angel, Lucas spends his time writing letters to his former Jungian analyst, Karl. It is only when Eli, an eighteen-year-old young man whom the community has ostracized, begins camping out in Lucas’s backyard that an unlikely alliance takes shape and the two embark on a journey to heal their neighbors and, most important, themselves.

From Matthew Quick, the New York Times bestselling author of The Silver Linings Playbook—made into the Academy Award–winning movie starring Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper—We Are the Light is an unforgettable novel about the quicksand of grief and the daily miracle of love. The humorous, soul-baring story of Lucas Goodgame offers an antidote to toxic masculinity and celebrates the healing power of art. In this tale that will stay with you long after the final page is turned, Quick reminds us that guardian angels are all around us—sometimes in the forms we least expect.



80 comments:

  1. This is so interesting . . . couples working in the same field would [I'd think] certainly have a better understanding of the intricacies of the job, whatever it might be . . . . I could definitely see successful marriages between two folks in the same field . . . .
    Writing couples whose work I read? Jonathan and Faye Kellerman come immediately to mind . . . .

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    1. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. Thanks so much for this, Joan! I don't know the Kellermans' work. I'll have to check them out.

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  2. I think the advantages of a writing couple would far outweigh any disadvantages. As you mention, Matthew, being familiar with all the emotions, highs and lows, you go through must be rather sanity, if not life, saving. And, you are sure to respect each other's writing time. I just write reviews, and my husband never thinks anything of interrupting me when he wants to tell me something. I'm talking about the times that I've told him I'm going to work on a review for a while. You and Alicia know how important staying in your writing rhythm is. And, the editing help you talk about must be wonderful. To have someone at hand that can use their writing strength to help your writing and vice versa.

    I loved The Silver Linings Playbook, and We Are the Light sounds like another one I'll love.

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    1. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. It has definitely saved us many times. Oh, we sometimes interrupt each other. Life often gets in the way. But we try to create a functional and supportive writing environment and mostly succeed. Thanks in advance for checking out WE ARE THE LIGHT. Tons of info on my website: www.matthewquickwriter.com

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  3. This is soo intresting!! I’m new hear and i came here by seeing the cutest picture of you guys and i’m saying that you guys are so lucky to have eachother. You both are working on a same department and im jelous either. Anyway wish you guys a good and blessed long life together!!

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    1. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. Thanks so much! We ARE lucky and we know it!

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  5. So many congratulations to you both! As a novelist, I think it would be so rich to live with someone who really got what I do. Instead I live with someone who doesn't even READ novels and who smiles nicely and nods his head when I have my neurotic moments - and I know he's really thinking about baseball. He hasn't read a word of my 28 novels and as many short stories. But that's what writer pals are for, and I have some really good ones. He also doesn't get in the way of my work, for which I'm grateful.

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    1. Alicia here - Hi Edith! Really good writer pals + a hubs who doesn't get in the way - sounds like a healthy arrangement! 😁 Happy writing to you

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    2. Thank you, Alicia. Of course, Matthew. Hugh reads all the time, thick non-fiction tomes on history and politics that would put me to sleep in two minutes flat. The only non-fiction I read is
      in the New Yorker and occasionally for book research. But variety is a good thing, and a healthy perspective helps.

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    3. My husband doesn't read novels, either, although he did when he was younger. Now he spends all his time reading news and tech stuff online. My daughter and my friends read my books, though, and I'm fine with that.

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  6. MATTHEW and ALICIA: I think it's great that you are both fiction writers. You understand what each is going through and support each other.

    As Joan mentioned above, Faye and Jonathan Kellerman are married writers but pen separate series.

    I know a few couples who write mystery series together. Frances & Richard Lockridge wrote the Mr & Mrs North series in the 1940s & 1950s. More recently, Renee Patrick is the pen name for Rosemary & Vince Keenan. They write the Edith Head historical series.

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    1. Grace, Jonathan Kellerman also writes an excellent mystery series with his son, about a medical examiner in the San Francisco area.

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    2. Thanks, I knew about his collaboration with Jesse but have not read any of their books yet.

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    3. I really love that series. I stopped reading Faye's series a few years ago when I got angry about something she did to one of my favorite characters. You know how that can happen;-)

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    4. Yup, been there and done that with other authors, Judy.

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    5. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. Hi Grace. Alicia and I have often fantasized about writing a novel together. I think it would be an exciting but risky experiment. Having collaborated with others on screenplays and trying and failing to write a novel with a friend before, I know that a shared creative experience can put a very specific strain on a relationship. More power to those who can manage it! Maybe we will one day, Who knows?

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    1. Matthew and Alicia, we are so excited to have you both here today! I finished WE ARE THE LIGHT 2 days ago--such an intense and beautiful story! You two write very different books so it would be interesting to see what you could come up with as a team. Matthew, did you know Lucas's whole story before you began, or did it evolve as you worked? (For other readers, I won't say too much, but Lucas's story unfolds slowly over the course of the book...)

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    2. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. Thanks, Lucy, for reading WATL and for these very kind words. I'm an intuitive creative (a pantser.) I had an idea of where I wanted the story to go when I started writing it in 2014. I failed and failed for seven years. (And wrote several other novels.) What I'm always looking for at the beginning is a voice. Once I hear the voice, I try to get to know the character. What does the character want? What does he love? What does he hate? What is he afraid of? What doesn't he know about himself? What is he hiding from me and others? Once I get to know the psychology of the character, I let it drive the narrative. I try to stay out of the way. I think I had such a hard time for seven years because my ego wanted this book to be something very different. Getting sober in 2018 and a deep dive into Jungian analysis produced the publishable version of WE ARE THE LIGHT. Both of those things destroyed my ego enough for me to surrender to what was necessary to write WATL. Lots of info about that here: https://matthewquickwriter.com/novels/we-are-the-light/#interviews
      and here: https://matthewquickwriter.com/contact/#personal-letter

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    3. Boy, writing can be agonizing! I am trained as a clinical psychologist, practiced for 15 years, and did my time in psychoanalysis (3 times a week on a couch for 4 years, but it wasn't Jungian.) I figured you must know the process well! I was going to put the protagonist in my advice column series in analysis, but a dear friend insisted everyone would think she was crazy LOL.

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    4. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. Ha! Yes. I'm 2 plus years in with the Jungian analysis. Three + hours a week. I know the process intimately by now. LOL.

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  8. Matthew, welcome and congratulations on your new book. I can appreciate where the artist was coming from with his comment when you and Alicia decided that you'd both write for a living. It was SO daring of you!

    In our house, we frequently read the same books and then talk about them. We are both retired and read a lot. It is very interesting to me to see which authors we both love, which ones he particularly likes, and which ones he won't read after trying one book.

    JRW recently hosted an author who is married to another author. Who was it, Roberta?

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    1. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. Hi Judy, I often say that we weren't brave or daring when we made the leap into the writing life. The jump was a last-ditch effort to save ourselves. I loved teaching, but at the end of my teaching career not writing fiction was making me very sick. If I felt well, I probably would have kept teaching. But I will admit that both of us living the writer's life is a bit audacious. Probably the best plan for a novelist is to be married to someone with good health insurance and a steady income. LOL.

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    2. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. And thanks!

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    3. JUDY: Wendall Thomas and James Bartlett are married are both writers recently hosted on separate JRW posts. Was it them you were thinking of?

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    4. Yes, Grace, they were the ones! Then I went out and immediately read LOST LUGGAGE. Lucy, did JRW host either Art Taylor or Tara Laskowski recently?

      I try to keep track of all the guests here, and we have lots!
      I read Alicia Bessette's book last year after she was a guest of JRW. This is my favorite source for new-to-me authors.

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    5. Matthew, the best plan for anyone is to be married to someone with health insurance, or to have a job that provides it.

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    6. Yay, I hope you enjoyed LOST LUGGAGE. I love the zany antics that Cyd gets into.

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    7. Grace, I did. Looking for the next book in that series when I get through my huge pile of library borrows.

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    8. Will and Julia Thomas are both writers.

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  9. Congratulations to both of you. I believe you both have found your 'Gifts' writing & supporting each other. Your 📚 Book's sound fantastic.

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  11. Welcome! Your new book sounds wonderful! It's clear you have managed to make the double writing life work very well, despite the reservations of the painter. I had to laugh at your list of questions, because as a non-writer, I ask myself several of them on a regular basis.

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    1. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. Thanks, Gillian! And ha! I do think that sometimes we novelists (or some of us) can be fooled into believing that we are unique when it comes to anxiety and fear and all the rest. But those are human conditions, after all. Glad you got a laugh! Laughing is good!

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  12. So interesting, reading about a couple of authors who are making it work. But I want to know - do you write in the same room? If you do, are you then constantly interrupting each other? Already I'm going a little bit crazy just thinking about that.

    I remember the Lockridges' books well. Am I misremembering or were they just rumors that Dick Francis and his wife were writing partners, she being the silent partner, so to speak?

    I am looking forward to reading books from each of you.

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    1. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. NEVER in the same room. NEVER EVER! LOL. I have to be alone when I write. With the door closed and locked and usually with noise cancelling earbuds playing Phillip Glass's Piano Etudes. Thanks in advance for checking out WE ARE THE LIGHT!

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    2. Alicia here, writing on Alicia's account! Thanks Judi! The thought of writing in the same room as Matthew gives me hives. We know a writing couple who share an office, and their desks touch, and they talk all day long. Isn't that amazing?

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    3. Sounds like a recipe for murder to me!

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  13. Another writer couple not mentioned above is Stephen King and Tabitha King. As far as I know they've not written anything together. Art Taylor and Tara Laskowski are one of my all-time favorite writing couples, Roberta!

    Silver Linings Playbook is so original! How did you come up with that idea, Matthew? We Are the Light sounds wonderful.

    My husband and I are both writers, though neither of us write fiction. Yet. I guess there's still time! We also have different, complementary strengths and weaknesses. He majored in English at Brown, and I... did not. However, I'm a far better speller than he is, and catch errors more accurately. I've learned a lot from having him edit my work, although he tends to get too pedantic in his sentence structure. If I accept all his edits my work becomes his, not mine, so I have learned to be extremely careful of what I ask of him.

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    1. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. Hi Karen in Ohio! I too am a notoriously bad speller. LOL. Thanks for your interest in WE ARE THE LIGHT. THE SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK was born out of homesickness. I was living in MA with my in-laws at the time and missing Philly. I also was doing an MFA in Creative Writing and taking instruction from very wise and brilliant writers. But I kind of knew they were steering me toward something I wasn't. So I wrote SILVER LININGS in secret as a side project. I said I'm just going to be as me as possible and write whatever I feel called to write. And that took me to a good place. My agent always advises me to write what I feel called to write and to block out everything else. Sometimes that is very difficult to do. But it always leads to my best writing.

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    2. Wow, I'll say it does! What a great story, Matthew. Glad I asked!

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  14. I loved this post and had in fact just ordered Matthew's new book, which I can't wait to read once it lands in my mailbox. But what I truly admire is that you both made a decision to follow your dreams. I did the same but I had a safety net. Even so, like your painter, I know folks thought I was delusional. But I've never looked back and it's great to see you haven't either. Besides, buying a chateau in France with our royalty income is highly overrated. Thanks for making my morning.

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    1. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. Hi Judy! Many years ago the writer Roland Merullo told me that if we don't pursue what our souls tell us we must, a part of us dies and it's the best part of us. I believe that's true. Following our dreams doesn't always mean things will be easy or even profitable, unfortunately. But it almost always means there will be adventure! Thanks a million for ordering WE ARE THE LIGHT. It's the best of me so far. I hope you will enjoy.

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  15. Silver Linings Playbook is an all time favorite of mine. I’ll be looking for your new book, Matthew, and Alicia’s too. I deeply admire your thoughtful decision to follow your true paths. Your inner work has surely enhanced your work. And how great to have each other on the journey. Thanks for all this generous sharing today

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    1. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. Much appreciated, Anonymous! Hope you will enjoy WE ARE THE LIGHT!

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    2. I think this anonymous is my sister, Susan Cerulean, also an amazing writer. Her latest was I HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED THE SINGLE BIRD, a memoir about taking care of our father and the birds of our world. I tried to get her to write something with me, no luck so far!

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    3. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account! Nice! Hello, Susan!

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  16. It sound like a good pairing, you two. Thanks for sharing.

    Another pair of married, independent writers are (is?) Margaret Millar and Ross Macdonald.

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    1. Never knew they were married to each other! Diana

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    2. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. You are very welcome, Susan! We know the writers Liz and Carsten Jensen of Denmark. Another writing couple.

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  18. Welcome to JRW! I met Michael Chabon and Ayelet Waldman at my local indie bookstore. I used to see them at the local cafe then I moved.

    Thank you for introducing us to your new novel. Goodgame is an interesting last name. I have heard of Alicia bessette before. I recall seeing novels by Alicia and Matthew somewhere.

    Wonder if a marriage between two writers is similar to a marriage between two actors or two musicians?

    Diana

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    1. Diana, Alicia was our guest here in May with her new mystery, SMILE BEACH MURDER: https://www.jungleredwriters.com/2022/05/two-things-i-cherish-animals-books.html

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    2. I read that right after she was a guest here, Roberta. Diana, Smile Beach Murder is a wonderful read especially if you love cozies!!

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    3. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. Hi Diana. Yes, please read Alicia's work! Hope you will also enjoy WE ARE THE LIGHT.

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    4. Lucy and Judy, thank you for reminding me. I thought I recalled that Alicia wrote cozy mysteries and yes, I remember now that Alicia was a guest here in May. Strange how May the month was with my falling down on the cracked sidewalk.

      Thank you again for reminding me and I want to read it before the end of mthe year.

      Diana

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  19. ALICIA and MATTHEW, welcome to JRW. You ask great question. I’m in the midst of writing my first novel. No contract yet. I’m have many ideas for novels and now am trying to focus on one story for my novel in progress.

    Never been married. I am trying the online dating and so far there are a few possibilities. There was a very cute man who wrote children’s books. Thought we connected then nothing. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. Trying to recall if I dated authors in real life. All of my possible connections , including the author of children’s books, have been very encouraging to me. They praise my writing. This gorgeous surgeon said that my writing is like poetry. He asked me if I was an author. High praise, indeed. He had me at hello 😉. I have not met either of them.

    Great post this morning and I’m adding the novels by Alicia and Matthew to my reading list.

    Diana

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    1. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. We appreciate it, Diana! Best of luck with prose and love!

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  20. This post is such fun! Thanks so much for sharing. LOVED Silver Linings Playbook and wasn't the casting of the movie such a huge gift! I have written several books with a writing partner and if we'd been married, by the end we'd have been divorced. For sure. My hat off to you both!

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    1. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. LOL, Hallie! Yes, many of my collaborations with people in Hollywood have ended amicably in creative divorce. It's always a tricky dance.

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  22. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. Just noticed that I wasn't responding in the right places. I think I fixed everything. Sorry for any confusion and/or double posts! Really appreciate all the comments and kind words.

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  23. I'm awestruck that you two have made it work. After several of my books came out, my husband wrote one. We are not meant to be a writing couple! That is definitely hard work. Kudos

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    1. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. Thanks so much, Kait! And LOL. Yes, it can put a strain on the marriage sometimes. But love usually wins, right?

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  24. Thanks to the pandemic, which distracted me from being able to concentrate on reading, my TBR pile is now a mountain range. I remember when Alicia was here, and I put her on my list. Now Matthew is on my list.

    Matthew, I admire the bravery of you and Alicia to start over at the same time! Now, to add you to my list!

    DebRo

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    1. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. Thanks, Deb! Hope you will get something from WE ARE THE LIGHT!

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  25. Thank you to Matthew and Alicia, and Roberta for arranging, this really fascinating, insightful discussion. And a new book to go order! I can see being married to another writer as great...or not so great. I am married to an attorney ( they do not think like writers!) with a lot of publishing experience.Useful for contracts? You bet. But sometimes our very different angles of vision on this writing business is, um, not easy. (He does read my books though. And proof reads!)

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    1. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. Thanks in advance, Triss, for ordering WE ARE THE LIGHT. Much appreciated. Hope you will get something meaningful from the read. I could see how being married to an attorney would be VERY helpful when reading publishing legalese. (Would help a lot in Hollywood too!) And how nice that he reads your work. Beautiful. Sounds like a win all around.

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    2. Alicia here. Always nice to have an in-house proofreader!

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  26. Matthew and Alicia, such a delight to have you both here today! Matthew, I think you somehow lifted your list of questions right out of my head! (New book coming out in February...) I also read your latest personal letter and found it so comforting to know that other (and very successful) authors suffer from the same anxieties. I adored SLP and can't wait to read We Are the Light, so I am off to order your book and Alicia's Smile Beach Murder. Oh, and I love Kingly--I have a big soft spot for Border Terriers.

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    1. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. Thanks so much, Deborah, for ordering WE ARE THE LIGHT and following along with my Monthly Personal Letter. Yes, I have all the anxieties. Glad I'm not the only one asking those questions! LOL. Kingsly says hi! Best of luck with your February pub date!

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    2. Alicia here - thanks Deborah! I love your books and am looking forward to A Killing of Innocents. BTs are the best!

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    3. Alicia, keep an eye out for the BT in A Killing of Innocents!

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  27. Matthew and Alicia, obviously you are successful in your endeavors as writers. Being in the same profession as your spouse helps you to have a better understanding of each other. Looking forward to reading "We Are The Light".

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    1. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. Thanks for the kind words! Hope you get something meaningful from WE ARE THE LIGHT!

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  28. The fact that you have a symbiotic relationship is, I'm sure, helpful to you both. I can't imagine how difficult it would be if you both had the same strengths! Congrats on the new book!

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  29. Matthew Quick here on Alicia's account. I have to sign off now as I'm headed back out on book tour early tomorrow morning. Thanks Jungle Red Writers for hosting me and telling everyone about WE ARE THE LIGHT. I really appreciate it! If anyone liked what they read today, there is more! You can read the Monthly Personal Letter archive and/or subscribe here: https://matthewquickwriter.com/contact/#personal-letter
    And there are plenty of essays, interviews, podcasts, and even videos here (more will be added as the tour goes one:
    https://matthewquickwriter.com/novels/we-are-the-light/#interviews
    Wishing everyone all the best. To the writers out there, stay strong and keep fighting the good fight! Thanks again! Matthew Quick signing off....now.

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