Sunday, February 12, 2023

Losing life's local landmarks...

 

HALLIE EPHRON: Recently I walked over to pick up my car at the gas station where I take my car for gas and servicing, and have for the last 30-plus years. Always and forever full serve, they *never* had a self-serve pump.

Brian Egan, one of two brothers who own the station, pulled me aside and told me they were retiring. They'd sold the station and next week, new owners would take over. He wanted to be sure to get a chance to say good-bye.

I was in tears. Seriously, I know I know. It's only a gas station. But it was one more loss of the familiar and trusted, one more landmark that made home feel like HOME. 


When we moved here decades ago we were driving a truly awful mustard-yellow Pinto station wagon. We thought it needed new tires so we brought it to the closest station and met Brian and his brother Gregg’s dad. AKA MR. EGAN. Who told us we did not need new tires.

Since then we've never taken our cars anywhere else--whether it was for gas, oil change, tires, or transmission. Always confident that whatever they told us needed to be done to the car, really did need to be done.

Whenever I’ve needed to write a gas station into my novel, I immortalized the Egans. And brought over a copy of the book when it was published.

I was thinking about the Egans earlier this week when there was a team from our local tree service in my yard trimming my humongous maple tree in hopes that next time we get a mini-cyclone, a branch doesn’t come crashing down on my garage roof. One of the sons of the owner lives across the street, and we’ve watched their kids grow from blanket wrapped bundles to tall-and-gangly teens. Fingers crossed, they'll outlive me and my trees.

I rely on locals whenever I can. If I need an electrician I start by calling the brother of another neighbor. Our roofer lives nearby, too. The landscaper I rely on is up the nearest hill. 

They’re about to tear down my local Seven-Eleven and for a year we’ve missed the former owner, a sweet guy who employed most of the neighborhood kids and knew Jerry from the many years when he walked over to that store at least once a week to buy milk.

Meanwhile, seems like every time I turn around, another local landmark is getting bulldozed and the businesses and their people close up shop and move on. I wonder if it's all bunched together because of Covid? Or maybe it FEELS like it's all bunched up because of Covid? Or maybe is it just the natural result of Boomers retiring? 

Is change overtaking your neighborhood, too, and how's that working out for you?

73 comments:

  1. It's the same here . . . I still haven't gotten over the closing of our little local bookshop; now we're losing more stores [Hallmark and Bed Bath and Beyond], the roofer has retired . . . I definitely do not like the changes.

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  2. I'm so sorry you're losing the Egans, Hallie. We've only lived here for eleven years, but we also had an auto shop we could walk to. Bill Drew retired last summer and now the place sells and fixes garage door openers (and we don't have a garage...). So far not a lot is getting torn down around here. On the contrary, quite a few nineteenth century houses are being taken down to the studs and rebuilt, usually tastefully, and it's lovely.

    I love using local folks for services, shopping locally, walking to all my errands. We can even walk to our favorite bistro. I do worry what will happen to the fabulous Jabberwocky Books in the next town. Sue Little has run it for fifty years and I know she'd like to retire. Fingers crossed it stays an excellent indy!

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    1. Fingers crossed that it stays an excellent indie! Diana

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    2. It's so important to support our family & locally owned businesses. I support these businesses knowing I may be paying more than if I went to Costco, Home Depot, Barnes & Noble, etc. Knowing the owners, not having to travel long distances, and supporting the people in my community makes it worth the extra money I spend.

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    3. Agree. We have a fabulous one-off hardware store at the end of the street. No lumber, but everything else. I don't even look at the prices if they have what I need.

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    4. Our local hardware store got acquired by a chain but it's STILL run by the same people, same customer service. I think it must be franchised.

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  3. Ah Hallie, I find your post very moving. When Steve and I moved here to a new house there was a dirt road that went a few miles. It was quiet here. We could see the mountains and the dry wash where wild animals came down the mountain headed south in the winter. It is a beautiful view. Now all these years later the one car width of the dirt road is 4 plus turns and a “turn -about” all tarred smooth. It still is beautiful though. Our other home in California is in the Sierra Nevadas where we had a ranch until we either had to send the kids to boarding school or move down the mountain. We moved and I was able to finish grad school which I hadn’t planned on but it made me very happy.

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  4. It's an adjustment when a business you have depended on changes or closes. Some of the worst services to loose: hair dresser, car repair or even dealer, grocery store, book store, bike shop (or your favorite hobby shop), post office, local library. They removed the mailbox at the corner in my suburban neighborhood, don't get me started on the hoodlum who's running that show.

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    1. I had to chase down (to give her a xmas card and tip) my mail delivery person who does a great job delivering our mail day in and day out... I think the individual who are still providing reliable and caring service get lost, overshadowed by Big Brother.

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  5. I'm sorry. Long-time small business owners, especially generational owners, can feel like extended family. Heck, when you relocate over a major distance, those business people are closer than extended family. At least, physically, and when small business owners provide a dependable service when you need help? Like car repairs? That only strengthens the bond.

    We lost--this sounds odd--our neighborhood CVS last year. We knew the pharmacists and some of the techs on a first-name basis. During our health challenges, they were our cheerleaders. But it was a small store, and we suspected it was on borrowed time. We were right. After more than thirty years, it closed in August. The familiar faces scattered to other stores. We're at a bigger, busier CVS now.

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    1. Even chain stores have distinct personalities. I love my local Stop n Shop - a lot of the staff have been there for decades. So helpful and caring and clean and well kept...

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  6. Shalom Reds and fans,
    ----------I try and roll with the punches. Doylestown, where I live, is always changing. We lost our Dairy Queen to Covid and it was replaced by a bank. I opened an account. The County Theater, a local independent movie house, was able to expand, despite Covid, from two screens to four screens. They sell memberships to raise money and after 30 years here, I finally became a member. We have an independent bookstore, two used bookstores and one children’s bookstore. Our local newspaper moved to another part of the county and an apartment complex is scheduled to go up into the space they vacated. Other luxury apartments are going up around town. Ours is a coveted zip-code. If I can continue to afford it, I will be happy to spend the rest of my days here.

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    1. ??"an independent bookstore, two used bookstores and one children’s bookstore" Wow! Looking up Doylestown...

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  7. My small town is anchored now by the post office, library, and bank in one block, with a pub (once the local disreputable beer joint) on a corner, and a gas station with mini-mart on the opposite corner. Once upon a time we had a grocery store, a drugstore, a barbershop, and other businesses. The big nobs of the US Postal Service keep threatening to close our post office and have our mail routed from another town. In my career in cultural resources, we had a number of projects which were post offices being decommissioned and sold. Neighborhoods/towns lose so much in the name of progress.

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    1. Flora, my daughter lives in a golf community in Traverse City (all retirees but them and one other couple), and they only get mail two or three times a week. It's shocking.

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    2. That IS shocking. Though what comes in the mail these days is mostly ads that go right into recycling.

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  8. Hallie, I loved that gas station and always had them fill my tank when I visited you! Key West has this problem in spades. Covid was a huge problem, but also the fact that prices of everything are so high (including real estate), that ordinary people can't afford to live here. Many businesses and people we are fond of come and go...

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    1. How true about being priced out of Key West, Roberta. We are currently in Sarasota renting from a friend after “our” place in Key West was sold displacing us . We were unable to find anything else affordable. Fingers crossed that we can eventually find something affordable because Key West is where we want to be!

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    2. Forgot to say that’s from Emily Dame

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    3. High prices and no affordable public transit...

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    4. Sarasota is expensive and doesn’t have walk ability like KW. Emily

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  9. I do get it. Last year, we lost our local hardware store that has been in the Byward Market for 75 years. And before that, a beloved family diner closed after 50 years. What took its spot? A cannabis store. Yuck.

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    1. I bought my garden supplies, kitchenware, tools from that Home Hardware store. There is no other store like it left in the downtown, the closest one is 8 km (5 miles) away.

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    2. Grace, when we lived near Alexandria, ON, we bought everything from Canadian Tire - lovely people, all of them, kind, friendly, do anything, order anything - just what you wanted. Now that we are close to Sydney, NS, where the Canadian Tire is, we buy next to nothing there - rude, unfriendly, don't care, no service, etc. I used to work in the garden section of Home Depot across the street and would often say to customers, that such and such a product was at Canadian Tire across the street. More often than not, the reply was "I won't shop there". I think so much depends on the people who work in the place - be it small or large.

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    3. MARGO: Yes, the Home Hardware staff were really nice, knowledgeable & it was a long-time family-owned business. Home Depot & Canadian Tire are huge behemoths only found in the suburbs here.

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    4. Love my local hardware store because I can go in and describe the problem and THEY'LL tell me what I need to get to fix it. In a day when it's so tempting to just go to Amazon (free shipping!) but then you end up with the wrong thing and returns are a pain and time sink.

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  10. Change is one thing, but it changes a community and neighbourhood when what sweeps in is bigger, shinier, and less friendly-more commercial. (Like Grace's example of the cannabis store that replaced her local hardware.) My neighbourhood has a couple of blocks of small businesses, including a bakery, organic grocery, vegan cafe, wool shop, yoga studio, massage therapy office, bistro, and book store. We are lucky. And known as the city's 'granola belt' LOL

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    1. "Granola belt" - I love it, Amanda!

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    2. Definitely changes a community! You are blessed that your neighborhood has a block of small businesses.

      Used to be able to take my Volvo in for repairs then the Volvo place was taken over by another car company and they no longer can fix my Volvo. And many new mechanics who do NOT know how to fix cars built in the 1980s!

      Diana

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    3. Oh yes, Diana: all the computerization of a car's insides mean 'running diagnostics' rather than knowing from experience how to repair something!

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    4. When my daughter moved to Africa she talked me into buying her BMW. Which is a lovely car, but a pain in the patoot because it has so many features and electronic doodads. I found a shop to take it to, but still don't trust them, or that they are actually doing anything when I take it in to them. I finally bought a gadget that helps to run my own diagnostics, supposedly, just to double check their work.

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    5. Oh my goodness, Karen! Your own gadget -- you can open up a sideline yourself now in verifying car mechanic repairs!!

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  11. Rough, Hallie. Especially when a new mechanic will mean finding a car servicing buddy to help shuttle cars back and forth. When I bought my SUV 14 years ago, it came with free oil changes for life, so I schlepp to the dealer service department twice a year. I made a special trip to the local party goods store for valentines. They had none in stock. The little stuff adds up, so I either do without or order on-line.

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  12. I have watched lots of Mom and Pop businesses vanish from the neighborhoods I frequent. I always seek them out, and spend my money there, the ones that still exist. How I love the small restaurant near my office that has been run by the same Greek family since the 1970s! Wonderful food, reasonable prices, and where can you get a $10 lunch where the owner never fails to stop by your table to make sure everything's OK? My doctors' practice has been bought up by a big hospital chain, my dentist retired--now operated by a national chain. I was so stoked to find a new eye doc who is a sole practitioner, his place of business in a nice old house. He is fabulous--all the space age machines my old chain practice didn't have--and he took so much time with me! He diagnosed a long smouldering infection that I had been complaining about to the old practice for years. And he's treating me for it! I do not care that I have to drive 45 min. to get to him! I think we all have to do more to find our people. Ignore the Chipotles in your life, spend your time and money with the businesses that support the local Little League team.

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    1. Wonderful that you found a wonderful eye doctor!

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  13. Hallie, this resonated with me because yesterday I just learned that our local pharmacy is going out of business. It is a semi chain store - not as many stores as the other chain pharmacies. It was Not a surprise because there were supply and demand issues. I think they were not able to get enough supplies to sell!

    Growing up during the Reagan years, I saw many local businesses like the Co-op go out of business in Northern California. One became a Big chain garden center. The others became Andronico's, which was taken over by Safeway and now it is back to Andronico's, I think. The hair salon that I used to go to as a child became a pet shop or a real estate office.

    The pandemic shifted many things like retail shops. Many have gone out of business.

    Wonder if living in California / the USA means that we will see many changes? I have seen many places torn down and rebuilt into either beautiful or ugly places. When I visited England, I was surprised by a mention during a tour of an ordinary house in the Cotswolds that the house had been in the same family since the 1500s!!!

    Diana

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    1. Your comment made me think of where I grew up: Los Angeles. Drop me anywhere on what used to be a familiar street corner and I'd have no idea where I am. At least my own neighborhood looks fundamentally the same. There are landmarks and they haven't been buried in suburban clutter.

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    2. Hallie, wonder if Scwab pharmacy is still on Sunset? or has it changed hands by now with a new retail business?

      Wonderful news that your neighborhood looks fundamentally the same!

      Diana

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  14. Hallie, I’m sorry you’re losing a trusted garage. My daughter Clare have handymen who do everything for her. We are not so lucky. No tried and true trusted businesses any longer. We do have a neighborhood grocer in California but all the other shops in that little center have changed from when my kids walked down the hill to spend allowances at Farby’s ice cream
    But we have a son and sons in law who are great at looking after us so no complaints! ( Rhys)

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    1. And at the local shopping center they still have the music store and ice cream parlor I went to in high school! - Clare

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    2. I'm hoping our local soft serve ice cream place, DAIRY FREEZE, keeps on keeping on...

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  15. That's definitely one of the downsides of getting older. My dentist I'd been going to "forever" retired and sold his practice. I went one time to the replacement dentist and was extremely unhappy with her so I needed to find a new one, which took a lot longer than I expected but now my new guy is young and works with a group of other dentists so I feel all set there.

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    1. Don't get me started on dentists. And doctors. Go for YOUNG.

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  16. Things are changing all the time. Nothing that has brought me to tears but the changes are noted whether they be big or small. My dentist just added his son to the office practice and when I started going there, I'm pretty sure the son was a toddler. A local restaurant that's been in business for nearly 75 years closed down a couple months ago (definitely Covid-related).

    And you know that basketball league I was a part of from the time I was 10 until I was nearly 40 years old or so? After being an independently run sports league for about 4 decades, it was given over the YMCA when the "young blood" that made noise about taking over a couple years back decided that they were too busy to run it after a year. The Y took it over and promptly raised the yearly cost $30 bucks for Y members and $40 bucks for non-members. It's a f'n disgrace and this is coming from someone who hasn't been involved for 12 years!

    Change is always happening, Change is inevitable. Change sometimes sucks!

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  17. Thinking about my three favorite restaurants, I realized they are owned by individuals we know and life enormously. Not chains, and all unique and lovely. My favorite grocery is also small, with only two locations.

    We haven't had full service gas stations here in almost 40 years. My mother kept going to the only one in her town until she was finally forced to learn to fill her own tank, under protest. It's almost impossible to find a place these days to have your oil or tires checked, too. I feel your pain, Hallie. Losing a trusted place to take a car is HUGE.

    As Jay says, it happens. People retire, pass into the next realm, get tired, have new priorities (move closer to grandkids, elderly parents, etc.), and businesses simply fail, for a myriad of reasons. Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose. Doesn't mean it's easy, alas.

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    1. My favorite Sushi restaurant opened ages ago, I can remember when the woman who ran (and still runs) was pregnant with her first chid - he's all grown up. Shoutout to FUJI in Wollaston.

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  18. Change is definitely taking over, since they plan to build a 23-story building that will block my ocean view. Still pissed at that.

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  19. Sigh. Yeah... The main thoroughfare at the foot of my street is becoming--rapidly--condo strip. All condos all the time. Kingston Road, for those who knew Toronto. The latest to go was my old reliable gas station, the least pricy in the city. My car service spot (right at the corner) fell to the first condo in the area quite a long time ago. At least my current mechanic is at a different--and so far still there--location. Just a longer walk.

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  20. Hugs, Hallie. I feel for you. Our neighborhood has been annexed by the nearby university. So the little ranch house we bought in the 90's that was smack in the middle of families raising little leaguers, girl scouts, and wannabe wizards is now an extension of campus life and it's all pot smoke, man buns riding bicycles, and suddenly a plethora of townhomes circling our neighborhood like castle walls. I used to boot the hooligans out of the house for the day with a "see you at dinner" but now I don't know if I'd do that. The traffic is worse and I don't know everyone anymore. Time to move? Maybe.

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  21. I’m so sorry Hallie. Sometimes when too many losses accumulate, one more is one too many.
    It’s true that changes are disturbing and they are everywhere. And good services are hard to find.

    Thank God, I still have my dealer and service garage that have been transferred to the owner’s son that keeps high standard and honesty.
    But in my small city, in the last years, the family operated Italian restaurant had to close, the little bistro with good food at reasonable price has been sold and became a place with slot machines. Finally a pub went into flames. We are left mainly with fast food joints. To have a good meal in a good restaurant , I have to drive thirty minutes.
    We also lost our « charmante pâtisserie française « 
    Danielle

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    1. Oooh, I forgot to mention my local pizza place (terrible food, GREAT GREAT GREAT pizza) closed a year or three back, too. But the one thing better if how many new restaurants have opened with a few minutes' drive. Sometimes change is for the good.

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  22. My most recent losses have been a hairdresser who I had been gong to for about thirty years and
    still haven’t found a replacement-one day I called for an appointment and found he had retired.
    My dentist, also a longtime relationship suddenly left after indicating in a letter he had no plans to
    do so, the jury is still out on his replacement. Several longstanding restaurants, a flower shop and
    some other small businesses are gone. This is a busy area with a lot of foot traffic, but the feet are
    finding fewer places to walk to-we don’t need another bank or spa type services which have replaced
    small stores that stocked a variety of everyday products.
    If Trader Joe’s leaves the area I’ll really be in trouble since that is the only grocery store I can walk to easily.

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    1. Spa services?!? They're everywhere here. I do not get it.

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  23. It is so sad that an "environmentalist" is proposing to add to her current wetlands property (she inherited) by proposing the city buy an additional hundreds of acres that now are grounds of a city golf course, tennis courts, and sports fields (where generations of grandparents, their kids and now grandkids play soccer and baseball). She and others are saying it will be wetlands but she will eventually petition the city to build condos/retail/ on this land. The sad thing is this is the only community green space/park in a city of over 50,000 people.

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  24. It strikes me that we may have caused this problem ourselves. We encourage our kids to get college degrees, often in career paths that mean working as "professionals", and usually for others. It's so rare these days to see kids taking over businesses from their parents, don't you think? We lost a wonderful orchard here where apple and berry picking was an annual event, and the cider was unparalleled, because the childless couple who owned it couldn't find anyone willing to take over the operations. Now it's a nature preserve. Family farmers have had similar problems, although some of that may be changing, with organic farming.

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  25. Our neighborhood in Houston is a very old one, relatively speaking! I really loved the funky businesses tucked in and their equally funky owners. However some would retire and sell. Others would be priced out because of greedy building owners jacking up the rent. Now there are condos where there used to be fun businesses: antique/junk stores, Mexican import stores, etc. Our old neighborhood is losing its character.

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  26. I'm so sorry, Hallie. I'd say it's awful, but we both know it's simply progress. I decided it was time to leave South Florida when I started landmarking things by what had existed four incarnations before! I really missed those places. The Military Academy that turned into a private school that turned into a condo that turned into a vacant lot, my favorite "safe place" bar that turned into a not so safe bar, that turned into an Italian restaurant, that turned into a McDonalds! It hurt to lose the originals. Each took a bit of my heart with it when it went, and a part of my history.

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  27. I live out in the country, as you know, and my personal neighborhood extends to places in towns all around me. Change comes pretty slow here, thank goodness, so I can still get ice cream at the same stand I took my kids to 25 years ago, call on the third generation of the local plumber, and eat at restaurants that have been here longer than I have - which is saying something by now!

    Hallie, my sympathies on losing your mechanic. I good, reliable car shop is worth its weight in gold. I've been going to the same one for 22 years, and I'm praying Doug has a plan for when he retires. If not, I may have to just stop driving!

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  28. The jury's out on my gas station's new owners. I have yet to meet them and the place is still hopping and the woman who pumped gas still works there. Positive vibes. Fingers crossed.

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  29. We lost our walking distance grocery store about five years ago and I still catch myself thinking, "I'll just run to Brookshires..." On the upside, we have Trader Joe's about a five minute drive and I LOVE our Trader Joe's. If they closed I would be seriously heartbroken. It's my weekly dose of friendly human contact. We still have hardware store down the street (although new owners,) a terrific florist, a really nice oil change place, and the crowning star, the Dairy Queen. Not that we visit it often but if it closed it would mean losing a huge slice of history. Sounds silly but in Texas towns we all grew up with DQ.

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  30. Here's the real kicker. These changes are happening when we need things we can rely on and take comfort in. When we were young(er), it was easier to find and adapt to a new service station or restaurant or store or person to do work for us. Now, in our "golden years" we need, or certainly want, things we can rely on. I don't want to be vetting new people or places.

    I remember being a bit shocked that doctors I'd started out with, when they were young, were now retiring and I had to find a new one. At 68, all of my doctors are now younger than I am. One of the most anxiety-riddled searches I had to do after COVID was to find a new hairdresser. I had gone to someone for years who had moved on to another line of work, and the person she gave me to also moved on to something else after COVID. I went into the search blind and found someone decent. Of course, since I let my hair go gray, there's lots less to deal with for my hair. I'm currently looking for a new dentist. Yes, mine retired, and I didn't take to the guy who took over his practice.

    The place that causes me heartache in the loss of shops and food-related locations is my hometown. It's a small town where "everybody knows your name," and the loss of landmarks there is a bit soul crushing. The worst loss was the bakery that made transparent pies, a regional specialty. Every time I'd visit my hometown, I'd make a trip to the bakery and bring back the little pies, tarts, which my grown-up family here loved.

    OK, I need to get back to today and get some things done.

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  31. Yes, yes, yes! I have lost several long terms drs. in the last few years. They retired and how can I complain? They were almost too old to be Boomers. ButI do miss them. And the neighborhood stores change constantly. I'd cheer out loud if the Chipotle around the corner went back to being a neighborhood grocery. I used to send my kids up the street for a forgotten lemons or cinnamon and enough money to get a treat. And yet -I smil e- the large hardware store and the pizza place last forever.

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    1. That was me, above,talking about retiring drs.

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  32. Oh, I am missing you all so much, and crazily on book tour. But oh, Hallie, this is the sweetest most touching thing I have read..you are so perfect. Change can be wrenching, when all that is familiar and reliable is taken away. Yes, we have lost a treasured restaurant, and it's so odd and sad to see it empty and quiet. This is so thought-provoking in every way.

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