Rule #37: Don't open with a cocktail party

 HALLIE EPHRON: As anyone who’s taken any of my writing workshops knows, I’m full of rules.

One of them is: “Don’t open with a cocktail party.” Of course I don’t mean that literally. I mean don’t overload the opening of your book by introducing too many characters too quickly. Don’t open with a crowd scene.

Even introducing a single character is heavy lifting–for both the writer and the reader. There’s the character’s name. Physical appearance. Relationship to the other characters you’re introducing. Quirks. The list goes on…. With their first appearance they need to make an impression. Introduce too many too fast and readers will choke. They won’t remember who’s who and might even stop caring.

My rules usually have the caveat: “Write well enough and you can break any rule in the book.”

Which brings me to a book I’m reading at the moment. It’s a huge bestseller written by a beloved author. And it opens by introducing about half dozen characters, each in a separate location with a variety of connections to one another. Fortunately, in short order one of them is murdered, culling the herd. But still, for about 20 pages it’s a slog remembering who’s who until everything meshes.

Do you think there’s such a thing as *too many characters too soon* and if your story requires it, how do you finesse it?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: The very first book I ever tried to write, which did not get very far, was about the first female golf pro in Massachusetts, and how she solved a mystery about a deadly herbicide on the golf course. It was a brilliant idea. Maybe. But I didn’t know what I was doing. And I stopped.

Totally your case in point: the first chapter was a golf foursome on the course, as well as a caddy, and references to several other people. Truly, there were at least five people in the scene, none of whom you knew, as well as allusions to other people.

You absolutely had no idea who to care about.

But. I also just finished a book that has about a million characters from moment one, and some off-the-page characters referred to as well. But the writing was so immersive, and so fabulous, and I thought: “you know, this author is aware of what she’s doing, and she’ll let me know who I need to care about when the time comes.” And that turned out to be completely true. And the book is incredible.

But I so agree, Hallie. The rest of us are not Liane Moriarty and Big Little Lies. And  I am very careful now not to overpopulate my first chapter.

JENN McKINLAY: I’m trying to think of a book that had a crowded opening scene that made me quit. Nothing is coming to mind, probably because I quit. LOL. I’m not a big fan of prose heavy openings either. I don’t want to read a description of snow falling for five pages.

As for me, I’m a master level eavesdropper so I love starting a book with dialogue as it takes the weight off the opening line and hopefully hooks the reader immediately. No more than three characters for the opening paragraphs and then it can expand.

RHYS BOWEN: One thing I hate is too many characters too soon. I find myself flipping back and forth: Who was Doug? Was he married to Serena? I was trying to remember if any of my books start with multiple characters but I can’t think of any.

In Farleigh Field had multiple protagonists and we jumped between several sites but I think they were all parallel stories going on until they all joined at the end. (At least that was what I wanted!)

Of course my two series are written in the first person so we always start seeing the world through the eyes of the protagonist and having her set the scene tor us. This makes it much easier.

LUCY BURDETTE: I have very little patience with too many characters. Most of the time I refuse to go back and look somebody up, I will either put the book down or else keep reading and hope it all becomes clear.

But Jenn and Rhys make interesting comments, maybe it’s easier with first person to keep the characters under control.

I had to go back and look at the opening of THE MANGO MURDERS, which will be out in August 2025. it does indeed start with a cocktail party! On a sunset cruise! However, before you ever get to the cruise and the party, there is quite a bit of Hayley Snow talking to set the scene.

I hope this works – I’m sure you will let me know:).

DEBORAH CROMBIE: The first chapter of my first book opens with only three characters. Smart, right?

Then, in chapter two, A COCKTAIL PARTY! Literally. What was I thinking?

Obviously I didn't know any better, but I seem to have navigated my way through it somehow. Still, many books later, I find scenes with a lot of characters the most challenging to write. Give me a good old descriptive passage or an internal monologue any day!

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: This is a timely question, Hallie, as I’m reading a book with a famously vast number of characters - ANNA KARININA.

Yes, one of my resoilutions was to broaden my reading to include classics I’ve missed. I’m reading the 2000 translation by Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky, and they translate the famous opening line as: All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

In the first eleven pages, we meet seven characters in person, name check the titular character, and are also told the household has an English governess, a cook, a coachman, a kitchen maid, and the now banished affair partner, the French governess. It feels crowded, which is perfect, because the household of Prince Stepan Oblansky is crowded to the point of intrusiveness, just as, we will see, the society he and his family live in is crowded and intrusive. There never seems to be enough space for people to just be themselves.

Technically speaking, all these character introductions work because they come through Stepan’s point of view. Everyone is described in terms of how they relate to him: his wife, his favorite child, his sister, his valet. It gives the reader a solid framework to slot characters into place. And yes, I was brave and decided to plunge in without reading the cast of characters, so I was relying on Tolstoy to not let me down.

BTW, I’m really enjoying it so far. It’s much more lively than I thought it would be.

HALLIE: So how about the rest of us? Which writers manage to defy the odds and keep you turning the pages even when they introduce a plethora of characters in short order?