HALLIE EPHRON: I am enchanted by Melani Saunders who started the viral "We Do Not Care Club" -- I watch her on Facebook as she reads, a pair of glasses over her eyes and a second pair on her head, and a third hanging at her neck (she do not care), reading in a wonderfully deadpan monotone a list of the things that (as peri/post-menopausal woman menopause) that, at that moment, she DO NOT CARE about.
“We do not care anymore because, well, we are tired.”
She does not care about keeping the house spotless. Shaving her legs. Chin hairs. Whether she snores. The list goes on.
I am cracking up and cheering.
Never mind that as I'm watching her, the screen gets taken over by an ad for Cetaphil, a cream promising to rehydrate our aging skin. Talk about mixed messages. For this, I know what Melani would say: We do not care.
The "movement" has gone viral and I only wish I had thought of it. Because, well, there are a million things about which I do not care (I could do ten minutes on eyebrows, and several more-than-you-wanted-to-know sidebars on the indignities older age).
So what would you list among the things about which you no longer care?
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: oh, I am laughing so hard! This is so fabulous. The other day I walked to the drugstore, and I thought, as I was about halfway there, did I brush my hair? I had no idea.
I still do care about a lot of physical things, I have to say. But there are some emotional things that I hope I have finally outgrown. If you don’t like me, I’m so disappointed, but whatever. The being tired thing is so interesting – – sometimes I think hey, I’m old, what do you want. I’m going to sit down now I think it’s complete and supreme power.
JENN McKINLAY: I love Melani so much. Discovered her a few weeks ago and am her biggest fan. Seriously.
As for me, I do not care about the opinions of others. In all fairness, I can’t say that I’ve ever cared about other people’s opinions about me – it’s not my business – but being an author gives people an open door to reach you directly to tell you what they do and do not like about your work.
I used to care if someone said something mean about my writing, but now I do not care. I simply do not have time for that sort of negativity in my life.
RHYS BOWEN: I’m afraid I still care! Not to the extent of putting on make up when I go to the supermarket, to getting Botox or a face lift, but if someone is coming to visit I want the house to look nice (at least the part of it they will see. I can’t always vouch for my office, or John’s office).
I am mainly amused by Amazon reviews, including one this week that gave me five stars but confessed she hadn’t yet read the book. But I would react if a serious reviewer trashed my book.
LUCY BURDETTE: Ha, I don’t dare look at Melani’s FB yet for fear of getting sucked down the humor rabbit hole.
I am of two minds, I try not to go out in public looking like I’ve been sleeping under a bridge. Same with watching John–we both tend to choose comfort over style:). (Ask our neighbors, they’ve seen it all. Though I won’t walk the dog in a nightgown–there. I’ve drawn a line. A ball cap covers many hair sins–it’s my signature look.
I try not to care what mean reviewers say. Years ago, I had a friend visiting who is a golf psychologist. He taught me that after hitting a bad shot, it was better to say “interesting” than “oh my gosh, I’m a failure, that’s the worst shot ever” etc. I think that should work for other people’s opinions as well!
DEBORAH CROMBIE: Melani is fabulous! But I have to admit I do still put on minimal makeup just to run local errands. And although I will wear relaxed yoga pants when I run around town, I try to make sure they’re not the ones with holes in them.
I do straighten up my house most mornings, and vacuum the worst of the dog hair most evenings, because it bugs me even if no one else sees it. (Not counting Rick, because he doesn’t care, and doesn’t even notice the dog hair!)
As for reviews, I do care about the major trade reviews, but I don’t read the ones on Amazon, Goodreads, etc. As for the letters in which people tell me all the reasons they didn’t like my book, or what I should have done differently, I don’t care! They can write their own books!
HALLIE: What about the rest of us... are you ready to walk your dog in your nightgown? Let your hair do its thing unimpeded? Or must you run a brush through your hair, put on a coat, and pretend you are ready at all moments for public viewing?
What do you still care about, and to what are you ready to say, WTF.
I try to look reasonable [hair combed, no holes in the clothes] when I go out, but I don't really care about doing all the make-up stuff just to go buy groceries . . . nor do I care what anyone thinks of what I'm wearing.
ReplyDeleteI don't care if the dishes wait a while before making it to the dishwasher; I try to keep the house reasonably neat and clean, but spotless is no longer in my vocabulary . . . .
I’ve seen her videos and other people who must be in the club. They are funny. I go around with my hair in a Pebbles ponytail on top of my head because I don’t like it flopping around while I play pickleball or do water aerobics. Sometimes I take my hat off. I know I look like a dork but I do not care.
ReplyDeleteOn Wednesdays I play pickleball in both the morning and evening. Many times I do not shower in between and still go out and about doing other things. I do not care.
The things I do around the house, like make my bed every morning, are not because I care what other people think but because I like them to be done for myself.
If people are going to be judgey…oh well, I don’t care.
I've never cared what I look like when working on the farm. I used to live in Carhartts and t-shirts and baseball caps. I am tall and even before I cut off my long hair braided down my back, I was often mistaken for a man. These days since my lupus diagnosis I have to avoid overheating and to wear long sleeves and high collars to minimize sun exposure. I bought three men's large Patagonia sun shirts, exactly the same, cheaply off Ebay. They are big and light and loose and I wear one every day of the summer, with scrubs pants, boots, and a giant straw hat. I look strange, but I get the work done and I don't care. (Selden)
ReplyDeleteI will have to take a look at that, but even the still makes me laugh.
ReplyDeleteI care about my hair. Both my older sisters have quite short white hair, and I wish mine were as easy to take care of, but it isn't. I don't care what people think about what I wear (except at author events and conferences), and I don't care if they think I look dorky when I wear shorts on hot days. I do zip out to the driveway in the early mornings to get the papers in baggy sweats and a hoodie sans undergarment, but our quiet street is always empty then. If somebody sees me from their window, I don't care.
Reviews? Meh. Authors can't please everybody, and I know my books please enough people for my publisher to renew my contracts. That's all that counts.
I have never shaved my legs, so that is one thing I never have to care about
ReplyDeleteI usually make my bed but the fate of the free world does not rest on whether I do that or not. Put that one in the "meh" category.
Unlike a vast number of people (evidently), I do not care about Tat-Tay and Travis, other than to wish them well.
In fact, it seems that the only thing I really care about is whether my pants are zipped in public.
Life is easy being me.
I have never seen any of Melani's videos until you posted this clip.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I have been in perimenopause & menopause for over a decade and I can relate to her list.
Since retiring, I wear comfy casual clothes, and wear no makeup. It suits my lifestyle & I don't care what others think. Although I live alone, I do make my bed each morning, but that's for me. And my apartment is on the messy side but no one is around to judge.. I only go on a cleaning frenzy when I realize it is getting out of control!
P.S. i will be 13 hours ahead of Ontario after today while in Osaka, so my comments this week will go up on weird times.