It said... vs I read

HALLIE EPHRON: Seems like daily I go down the rabbit hole with a very personal MISreading of a news item. And the mistakes, I am sorry to say, illustrate how much being an aging crime fiction writer has taken over my brain.

A few days ago it said:
"The Volunteer Buglers Giving 24-Note Salutes" 
I read:
The Volunteer Burglers Giving 24-Note Salutes   

A few weeks ago, the news article said: autopay.
I read autopsy.

Then there was the headline that said:
"Even Mediocre Home Baristas Can Make Good Espresso With This Unintimidating Machine"  
I read:
Even Medicare Home Baristas Can Make Good Espresso With This Unintimidating Machine 

An finally, a news bulletin said:
"Japan was violating an agreement to stop dumping semiconductors on the US market at below cost”
I read:
Japan was violating an agreement to stop dumpling semiconductors on the US market at below cost. 

This last misreading, clearly driven by my passion for Chinese soup dumplings.

Do you have a penchant for misreading the news, one that reflects what you really care about or, as in my case, how much your brain is in a state of gradual decay but your sense of humor remains intact?