HALLIE EPHRON: For the last week I’ve been in warm, lovely Key West Florida enjoying the company of dear friends and my grandkids who are on school break and happy to spend 24/7 in a swimming pool.
My granddaughter has been swimming competitively after school, and the first thing she wanted to know was: how many laps would she have to swim to make a mile. It’s a lot.
She then proceeded to swim that many laps, stroke after stroke, skimming through the water, apparently effortlessly. Flip turn at the end of each lap. Pushing off and shooting back.
I watched her in awe.
I swim more like a beached whale, not convinced at all that the water will support me. Struggling and fighting for every stroke. Exhausted by the end of a few laps. Exhausted and bored.
Sometimes writing feels like that. Such a laborious process at times, and so effortless at others when I'm in the groove and can lay down word after word without breaking a sweat.
Can you swim like that, at one with the water, as it were? Write like that when the ideas flow?
Or maybe there’s some other activity that you do better when you stop trying so hard?
Back when my knees allowed me to run, I used to compare writing to my regular three mile loop in our neighborhood. The first mile was ALWAYS agony, puffing and panting, my muscles complaining, wondering why the heck I was doing this to myself. Then, right around the start of the second mile, I broke through, and could enjoy my effort and the pace and the scenery around me. The third mile was triumphant - yes! I can do this and I am! It was a great feeling and I miss it.
There’s nothing like the flow state in writing, when it stops feeling like you’re laying a wall brick by brick and suddenly becomes flying. I think it’s those times that keeps us going.
RHYS BOWEN: when I was a child swimming was in an unheated pool. We learned breaststroke, swam a width and got a certificate. We swam in the cold sea on vacation, so I never got proficient.
But then I discovered snorkeling. Put a mask and find on me and I am one with the water. I can go forever, as John will tell you. Once in Grand Cayman I followed the reef out, never looking up or hearing him shout. When I did look up the shore looked as if someone had drawn a pencil line far away. I looked around. Not a soul in sight. Then I had to swim all the way back to a frantic John
Most of my married life we’ve had a pool so swimming is something I do every day. Our kids were all competitive swimmers!
As for writing: every book is the same. First hundred pages in pure panic mode, convinced it’s never going to work. Then next hundred getting into the rhythm and seeing the way ahead and the last hundred or so rushing at full steam.
LUCY BURDETTE: I’m a good solid swimmer, though it’s never quite effortless. I wonder if I write like that too? I’d like to write like Rhys (except for the pure panic), but for me it feels like the beginning is joyful.
But then the original spark runs out of juice and I’m left wondering how I can possibly fill more pages.
JENN McKINLAY: I like swimming in pools but not laps because…boring. But I love diving games or basketball or volleyball in the pool.
Clearly, I’m not a regimented swimmer. I am not a deep sea ocean swimmer because sharks,,,duh. But like Rhys, I love snorkeling or boogie boarding or paddle boarding.
I think writing is similar to swimming for me only in that if it’s boring, I can’t do it. The second I lose interest in my story a fictional someone is getting murdered or heartbroken or hit by a witch’s curse.
DEBORAH CROMBIE: Hallie, you must be having such fun with the kids! I liked swimming when I was a kid but not so much these days. I don’t like getting my face in the water–a big handicap! At least not in chlorinated water.
The few times I’ve been snorkeling I have loved it but I have to be able to touch the bottom. I’m terrified of deep water. Maybe this is why I like to have a road map when I’m writing?
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I think absolutely everything works better when you stop trying so hard, the secret being that you have to work so hard and learn so much in order to be able to not have to try as hard. I’m an experienced okay swimmer , and once absolutely caused a gasp from my grandson when I did a perfectly good dive off the side of the pool. I think he thought I was incapable.
But do I love swimming? No. I love floating on a raft in the pool with a book and a glass of lemonade. That’s pretty fabulous. Or walking in the ocean up to my ankles.
Let’s just put it this way. My feet like to swim.
As for writing and swimming. I do a lot of preparation mentally and emotionally, then I dive off the end in a great wave of enthusiasm, swimming swimming swimming until whatever the equivalent of page 36 is.
Then there is a lot of treading water going on. A lot. Of. Treading water.
Then comes the persistence, and when I see the shore, I have a sudden spurt of energy.
But yes, absolutely, those days that I am at one in the writing water, that is the reason I keep doing it.
HALLIE: I do find it's the same way with cooking. When I'm in the groove, I'm not stressed at all and improvising... the food comes out tastier. Ditto Falling asleep: definitely works best when I stop trying.
And that scary feeling when you enter a room full of strangers? Just relax and lean into it. Conversations will flow.
What about everyone else? What gets easier when you stop trying so hard?
What fun, Hallie . . . spending time with grandkids is always great . . . .
ReplyDeleteI'm in awe of your granddaughter [I don't swim at all] . . .
I think most everything gets easier when you stop trying so hard [and you're not so stressed] . . . .
Truth! When I stop trying so hard, things feel easier. I figure out that when I practice, it becomes easier for me?
DeletePractice! And Getting myself in the "zone" -- imagining doing whatever it is well, relaxing, and then doing helps me.
DeleteI was a competitive swimmer in high school. What was the thing I was able to do after I stopped trying so hard?
ReplyDeleteIt took me a while to figure it out! My attempts in speech therapy after my brilliant speech therapist moved away was futile! As an adult now I figured that the times when I could speak effortlessly was when I sang along to songs while watching someone singing on tv. I’ve noticed that when I sing, the words come out clearer! I forgot to do that at the left coast crime conference and everyone was patient with me!
That's completely fascinating! And Diana, you're making me realize how rarely I have to "search" for a word when I'm singing a song. It's just there.
DeleteHallie, thank you. That is wonderful! Did I mention that when I met you and Lucy at Bouchercon in Toronto (2017), I was pleasantly surprised that I could read your lips? You spoke very clearly and I appreciate that. I got every word you said.
DeleteDiana, that's so interesting. Also, my ten-year-old granddaughter is learning ASL in school and adding BSL for fun. I asked her if she didn't get confused and she said no!
DeleteDebs, I love that your mini-you is learning ASL and BSL for fun. ASL is different from BSL, especially the fingerspelling of the alphabetical letters and the numbers. I am learning BSL via the lingvano app. When I was at the Left Coast Crime conference, I got to see our Edith/Maddie, Grace and Dru Ann. I met many people and I mentioned lingvano. Perhaps some of them will be learning ASL via the lingvano app. It is fun!
DeleteI enjoy doing many things, including swimming, but I am not sure I do any of them effortlessly. Possibly reading. And breathing.
ReplyDeleteWell that's two pretty important activities. I effortlessly wisecrack, something I wish I could stifle ... sometimes. But only with 20-20 hindsight.
DeleteDefinitely NOT swimming. It bores me silly. This might sound funny, but I've learned in the balance class I've taken over the last couple of years how to stand from a chair without groaning or needing to push up or pull myself up. My core has gotten stronger and I know where to put my feet and arms, so now I get up without thinking about it. Yay, me!
ReplyDeleteI'm with the Reds on living for those times when the writing flows out, when I come up for air after writing a couple thousand words and am surprised at the time. Writing isn't always like that, but when it is, I'm reminded of why I do what I do.
Also, like Julia, I remember those days of being in the zone while running, especially on a six- or ten-mile weekend run. I felt like I could run all the way to Rio. Sadly, I no longer run, although I do enjoy a long walk when all body parts decide to cooperate.
DeleteI'm a walker, too. Not so sure about the "long" part... not so much fun when all I can think about is how much more to go before I'm back to the starting point.
DeleteHallie, “cure” for me and how far back to the starting point…get an Uber home, when your walking is “citified”, like along the paved walk by the beach. Haven’t done any pool lap swimming (or anything in a pool) in many years as I developed an “itch” in all areas covered by my bathing suit. Changed suit material, changed pools several times. ITCH remained. Elisabeth
DeleteOh, Elisabeth - how annoying and sad! Ick itch.
DeleteHallie, how wonderful to be in Key West with your grandchildren! How simply delightful!
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother owned a big lakeside cottage near my hometown and my mom used to take us there almost every day during the summer. My cousins stayed there, sometimes 3 families at once. Incredible memories! That is where I learned to swim and to row. I am not a distance swimmer. I am very neat with precise strokes that look nice...but after a couple lengths in a regulation size pool, I have to do a backstroke. I never take in sufficient air when I swim, even doing the breast stroke. Part of the problem when doing the crawl is that mechanically, I cannot close my nose when my face is upturned. So I can't do "full immersion" because you must turn face-up underwater before you grab a breath. A few years ago I was swimming laps a few times a week and getting stronger, but the pandemic hit and I never went back to it.
My first date with Irwin I gave him a swimming lesson.
I'm right there with you, Judy, on reasons why I find swimming to exhausting. That's so sweet about giving Irwin a swimming lesson... precious memories.
DeleteI loved swimming as a child and teenager, took classes for many years and spent many summer afternoons at the local pool. I don't know if it was ever really effortless though. As an adult, I don't swim regularly, but if there's a pool where I'm staying, I will swim a few laps, mostly lazy breast stroke, and enjoy that feeling of being held by the water.My son's dad is both a musician and a pilot, and he talks about being in the zone, both when he's performing and when he's flying. He says that you practice, practice, practice and get that muscle memory down. After all that practice, the skill comes pretty easily and he feels like he is just floating along with an easy concentration that allows him to leave himself behind. I'm not sure there's anything in my life that feels that way at the moment==maybe when I'm doing a long run and the movement seems effortless for a few minutes.
ReplyDelete"Muscle memory" - I totally get it.
DeleteGood for your granddaughter, Hallie. I love those flip turns. What gets easier when I stop trying so hard, besides writing? Tennis. I don't play very good tennis, but after the first ten minutes, I'm often in a zone where I'm concentrating hard but not worrying about how I'm doing, and that's when it's the most fun.
ReplyDeleteMe, too - and I've often found that "playing up" (with someone BETTER than me) makes my game better. But it's been quite awhile since I've ventured onto the tennis court. Wondering if Pickleball is a descent substitute but worrying about all that torque... I'm not so good these days with torque.
DeleteLife.
ReplyDeleteJerry, I laughed when I got to your comment. Succinct, but oh, so true. I wish I'd learned that lesson a few decades ago.
DeleteSounds like a great time with your family in Key West Hallie!
ReplyDeleteI grew up a few blocks from the beach, so we were always in the ocean, body surfing, surfboarding, and swimming. As an adult I would get up early before work and swim laps at the pool. Then after I retired and covid hit I didn't continue. At one time I did open water -ocean- swimming and loved it but hated the ritual of putting on a wet suit - ugg. But I love swimming and being in the water.
Anon: I grew up going to the beach, too... loved bodysurfing! And I hate that wet suit. Love the hot tub but it has no value as a source of exercise.
DeleteI’m an adequate swimmer. Learned to swim in Key West when I was 5 with a styrofoam bubble strapped to my back. I’ve never mastered a flip turn.
ReplyDeleteOn the road back to Harrisburg after a month in Key West. Ready to be home but will miss the sunny warmth!
I was only there for 2 weeks but I'm definitely in withdrawal, too.
DeleteEmily, Hallie, Lucy - seems the party is in Key West! And a great place with so many fun things to do.
ReplyDeleteIt's fabulous. And there are direct flights and a new terminal.
DeleteThe KW Library Speaker Series was a contact location for the three of us.
DeleteWhat a treat for people to have such great writers to hear from.
DeleteI did a lot more swimming when I was younger and I was pretty good at it. Not competitive-good, although if I had taken up a sport seriously that would have been it (except for the ridiculously early practice times). If I could find a heated pool I could do it again. Swimming in cold water makes my arm ache.
ReplyDeleteAs for writing, the first 50-100 pages are always a grind. But then something happens to unlock the story and it becomes - not quite effortless, but a whole lot smoother.
Interesting -- I do think when you KNOW where you're going, the "getting there" takes less effort.
DeleteIn the summer, I swim long, meditative laps, thinking about nothing except finding the wall without my glasses. Stress floats away, replaced by a description, a snatch of dialogue, or (sometimes), a new plot twist.
ReplyDeleteMuscle memory is a writing thing, too. I start pounding the keyboard and the words flow, usually in the correct order, with varied sentence lengths and little word duplication. I've trained myself.
Enjoy your time in the sun!
"Muscle memory is a writing thing" - well said.
DeleteNot swimming. Nearly drowned in a motel pool with family laughing right beside me, never realizing how terrified I was. That kinda destroyed my trust in family and enjoyment of swimming all at once. Although, like Hank, my feet are great swimmers - oceans, pools, creeks, lakes. Those feet get around. The rest of the body is still very reluctant to follow. Talk about being scarred in childhood! What I do love is walking in nature. As Edith said, if all the body parts are on board, I'm there.
ReplyDeleteWriting, although not a book as such, I have always found that for me to try to force it is just asking for a huge dose of misery and angst. Better to take that walk or let the feet swim while my brain formats the thoughts running in my head. After that, it comes right out. I suspect it is important for each of us to learn our quirks and embrace them instead of fighting them to fit into someone else's version of "the right way". Life is a lot more fun that way and I am here for the fun! -- Victoria
I've heard many folks who recommend meditation as a way to clear your brain and press restart...
DeleteOnce we were on the way to a party, and I said to my husband: I’m not going to worry about this party. I’m just going to say whatever I want!
ReplyDeleteAnd Jonathan said: don’t you always do that?
And I realized… No.
Hank, if only people knew the conversation we were having in our minds...- Victoria
DeleteIt doesn't show, Hank. Not ever.
DeleteWhen I was in 1st and 2nd grade, my dad was stationed on Kwajalein in the Marshall Islands and we learned to swim in the lagoon and the saltwater pool. All these years later, I can remember effortlessly floating in that briny water in the warm sun. Completely unrelated, but I'm able solve the Wordle much more easily if I stop trying to think of the most common letters and combinations and just let my mind rest on a "good" word. (I've guessed the word in one six times using the "stop trying so hard" method.)
ReplyDeleteWith WORDLE! That's so great. That's true, too, when you're grasping for a word that's just out of reach.
DeleteRobin what a wonderful opportunity! My hub had an opportunity for us to live in Palou (but he didnt get the job... bummer). It is considered one of the world's top diving spots.
DeleteGlad to know I am not alone in being a poor, timid swimmer who has to be able to touch bottom. The only time it was effortless for me was snorkeling in the Galapagos. Our guide told us we would be snorkeling off the boat all four days, and I was utterly mortified, thinking of all that water under the surface/me left behind with the crew, so I told him I was A) not a good swimmer, and B) really scared. He said, "No problem, you will do fine", and proceeded to hand me a life vest. What absolute joy. I am still so grateful to Luis for the unique experience of swimming among a pod of tiny Galapagos penguins, in particular. If only it was acceptable to wear a life vest in a pool!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was writing my first book, in the early '90s, my kids were wild from not being able to go outside, so I took them and my little laptop to the indoor playscape for an afternoon. There was an adult observation room, very quiet, with a comfy chair, so I sat there and wrote. When the girls crawled through the transparent tube outside the window we could see each other every little while. Other adults came and went, and I barely noticed them. I wrote an entire chapter almost on autopilot, and it was one of the best things I've ever written. Lesson learned.
Snorkeling! You have to be able to relax to do it... all the fish around you help.
DeleteMaking friends - or at least, having friendly conversations at get-togethers. I was anxious when I was in my 20s, and would either struggle to find interesting things to say or just not take part in others' conversations. Somewhere along the way, I just relaxed, and started being myself. Turns out, people love to talk to me, probably because I'm not carrying any weight as to whether they do or don't.
ReplyDeleteJulia, isn't that an interesting tidbit to learn? Being genuine actually puts folks at ease or they run for the hills because they know they can't play you. -- Victoria
DeleteI agree. I was always shy growing up and stayed in the background when I encountered new people in social situations. This also happened in classes where the teacher would grade you on your participation in discussions. We won’t even talk about being called upon or having to stand up in front of a group of people.
DeleteAs I grew older, I found that I needed to communicate with others as part of the work I did.
Initially I really had to push myself to getting involved in conversations.It has become a lot easier. Now I frequently initiate the interactions and feel a lot more comfortable doing it.
You are often perceived differently, being thought of as friendly rather than standoffish or not very polite the way your behavior might have been interpreted before.
"Shy" and "standoffish" are two very different things... I learned that same lesson, growing up.
DeleteJulia, I can't imagine you having difficulty having conversations. You always seem so confident and relaxed!
DeleteI’m not a swimmer, and am terrified of the water. This has gotten worse over the years. I’ve always lived in a beach town, but had a couple of terrifying experiences at a local beach as a child. I stopped going into the water because when the water gets up to my waist, I begin to panic. If the water gets near my face, I feel like I’m going to black out.
ReplyDeleteI started learning to crochet about four years ago. I still think of myself as “learning”. I found someone who gives me private lessons. I only know a couple of stitches but I’m good at them. It amazes me to look at something I’ve crocheted and to actually recognize that it’s good! I still think of myself as a beginner, but my instructor says that I’m definitely in the Intermediate category now. I find crocheting to be relaxing, which I suppose is the same as being “in the zone”.
DebRo
That makes me so sad that you got traumatized about being in water. Sounds like a form of PTSD. Best to respect that.
DeleteLearning a new language.
ReplyDeleteI think it depends when you start doing something.
When I started taking violin lessons as an adult, my teacher selected pieces for me that I would
look at and think I could never play. I learned a lot with his encouragement. He chose music that was challenging. When I reached the level of being able to learn it, I felt a greater sense of achievement than I would have if I had been given something easier and able play right away.
When I have needed physical therapy for an injury it often seemed insurmountable that I would be able do certain exercises. As time passed, I started asking for the greater amount of weight or the color resistance band that required more effort than I would immediately be able to manage.
I found with anything I attempt reaching beyond what I think I can do makes me better at learning and provides more satisfaction than settling for what .is immediately obtainable.
"what I think I can do makes me better at learning" - words to the wise
DeleteWe had swimming lessons growing up through the city's Recreation and Parks department. I loved it and felt good about the smooth movement in the water since I wasn't good at running or land bound sports. In college took a water aerobics class and loved it too. I could safely exercise without hurting my joints. I will not swim in the ocean. Love the ocean but will not swim in it. The water is way too cold, even in heat of summer, in Sonoma County and I heard too many stories, growing up, of snicker waves and human chains trying to pull someone in after they got pulled out unexpectedly. But I haven't been swimming in years, I'm too self-conscience of my weight, though my knees and doctor would love it if I would get some more safe exercise. As for other things, once I get the stitch repeat figured out, crocheting becomes rhythmic, mesmerizing and effortless.
ReplyDeleteAll the comments about learning to swim young make me wonder if anyone out there first swam as a baby, and how that worked out. Babies seem to just take to it, or at least that's what the Internet would have us believe.
DeleteLike Hank, I'm a floater. But, I actually enjoy just floating on my back, without a floating device under me. I love how completely relaxed I am in floating, with every part of my body feeling loose and free. I am also a decent back swimmer. Turn me over and I struggle. It's not even an aversion to getting my face wet or putting it in the water. I'm just clumsy doing the two strokes I've tried, freestyle and sidestroke. And, my mother was terrified of the water, so I didn't get any push to become a swimmer. I didn't get to the pool much when I was a kid. The only pool was the Country Club, and we didn't join until I was around ten, but I did love to go and be with my friends there, mainly talking while we held onto the side and kicked our legs out, or there was also Marco Polo.
ReplyDeleteI tried to encourage my kids to swim, but I didn't push it. They ended up swimming adequately. Now, my granddaughter, who is a sophomore in high school, is on the swim team, and as Rhys said, watching her swim and do those turn-arounds when they reach the end of the pool, well, I couldn't be more impressed (and proud). I know she does the freestyle and butterfly, but I can't remember what else. The butterfly amazes me, the upper body strength it takes, a real power stroke. I've noticed that her shoulders look just a bit broader lately, which I'm sure is due to the butterfly. Being on the high school swim team requires real dedication. Early morning practice before school and after school practice. She has gotten lots of encouragement from my son-in-law's side of the family. He and his two siblings all had swimming scholarships to college. I am all for her swimming, too, but I just found out she's not currently taking her piano lessons and she plays beautifully. Talk about making something look effortless. She seems to always have had a self--confidence and ease about her piano playing. I don't think she ever thought of it as hard. It's one reason I want her to keep doing the recitals and piano competitions, because she's such a natural. Why don't teenagers believe adults when they tell them what's good for them. Hahaha.
I am always surprised when someone is terrified to speak in public, whether it be a room full of people, outdoor crowd, or court (which I can now add). But, I know there are those who get physically ill just thinking about it. I remember letting a student who was like that present a project differently than making a speech about it. Related to speaking in front of others is the terror of saying "uh" or "you know" during your speech. I think lots of people struggle with this problem. I don't believe it was ever a major problem for me, but I did think about it and worry about it some. What I've found myself doing now, if it's a speech, is slowing down a bit and pausing more, not feeling like I have to fill that pause.
I'm with you on speaking, Kathy - I'm just thrilled that anyone sits still to listen. It's the teacher in me.
DeleteI know that relaxing is key to being successful/ productive in whatever you’re trying to achieve. But try telling that to my brain when I’m trying to fall asleep. It’s too busy jumping from subject to subject to relax.
ReplyDeleteHowever, this past weekend I experienced the sensation of relaxing and letting the chips fall where they may. I was on a Librarians panel at the Left Coast Conference in San Francisco. I was so nervous for about a month. Our moderator sent us questions and gave us assignments (very minimal, but I built them up to be mountainous) at the beginning of February. With all of that, I awoke Sunday morning completely relaxed. And I ended up having fun! — Pat S
Authors love Love LOVE librarians!!
DeleteI worried that I wouldn’t have the same bona fides as the others because I was an elementary school librarian, not a public library librarian. But looking out and seeing Gigi Pandian, Margaret Mizushima and Jennifer Morita in the audience actually made me happy rather than nervous. — Pat S
Delete
ReplyDeleteOne thing that really helped my grandkids not fear the water was instructing them on how to float. I told them if you are on your back in the water point your nose up to the sky. If you do this you will NEVER be able to sink. Why? Because it forces your lungs to be higher that the rest of your body and it forces you to float (like a ball filled with air). The second you put your nose down toward your chest you sink.
"Nose to the sky" - writing it down. Great advice.
DeleteThose moments "in the zone" when writing make all the stopping/starting/what on earth happens next worthwhile. I also love the effortlessness of typing, but of course if I think about where I'm putting my fingers I become a total klutz.
ReplyDelete