How We Celebrate Anniversaries

DEBORAH CROMBIE: It seems like we've had a lot of anniversaries here on Jungle Red lately--it is May, the month for weddings--and mine is among them! Tomorrow, my hubby and I will have been married for twenty-five years. Twenty-five years! How did that even happen?? (On another day, we should talk about the relative nature of time. Why does it go so slowly when you're a child, and faster and faster the older you get?) While it doesn't seem possible to me that we've been married that long, it is irrefutable, and twenty-five years is a pretty big deal, the silver anniversary.

 
We've never been very traditional with either celebrations or anniversary gifts, but this year I'm excited. You see, I am allergic to gold, but I can wear silver, and I love it. So I'm crossing my fingers that my sweetie will come up with something special. (I did hint, shamelessly. I thought I was allowed, just this once.)

But I started to wonder who came up with the idea of specific gifts associated with each year's anniversary. It seems that the tradition of giving silver and gold on the twenty-fifth and fiftieth anniversaries goes back at least to the middle ages. Precious metals were valuable and lasting, and it was thought couples reaching those milestones should be rewarded for their fortitude. Of, course, this only applied to those well-off enough to afford the silver and gold. It's the Victorians, however, we have to thank for the proliferation of yearly gifts. 

Then the Americans got in on the act. The symbolic gifts were listed by Emily Post in 1922, then set out even more formally by the American National Retail Jeweler Association in 1937--no surprise, that.

Some of these items seem pretty random. Paper? Cotton? Wood? Leather? And they don't exactly go in an order of increasing durability. Fruit and flowers, for instance, come 4th, after leather.

Here are some creative ideas to fit the list, if anyone is inclined to stick with it.

So, Reds and readers, have you celebrated marriages or partnerships with traditional gifts? And tell us is you've given or received any unusual anniversary gifts!

RHYS BOWEN:  We never checked on the various anniversary gifts, in fact I'd have been very annoyed if John had given me paper or wood instead of jewelry or a dinner! I did get a silver ingot for 25 years, a ruby ring for 40 and a ring for Golden. But the best thing for our golden was taking the whole family to a resort in Cabo for a week. We had an amazingly wonderful time from youngest to oldest. Much more significant and me, or able than things!

HALLIE EPHRON: This is appropriately timed--Jerry and I are celebrating our 50th anniversary as I type. Yes, we married young and got lucky. He's also retiring after 47 years of college teaching, so we have double to celebrate. Anniversary gifts?? We've never exchanged them, or if we did it wasn't memorable. Most years I get flowers or a potted orchid, which I love. The last ring I wanted I bought for myself.

Tonight it will be about food -- friends coming over to celebrate with us. And in two weeks we're going to Tuscany where I'll be teaching a 10-day writing workshop for Minerva Education https://www.minervaeducation.net.

LUCY BURDETTE: Congrats on all the wonderful anniversaries and Jerry's retirement--that is a huge milestone and the cake was gorgeous! We will be celebrating 27. We started some years back giving ourselves a trip to New York City and tickets to a couple of shows. I couldn't ask for anything better!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: This year will be our 24th!  In September. And we were talking just the other day about how it cannot possibly be that long. If you'd said--three years, I wouldn't be surprised. But that is all very reassuring, don't you think? Gifts. We are TERRIBLE at gifts. Terrible. I think one year we got each other--I am shaking my head now. Fitbits?  SO silly. Is there a Fitbit anniversary?  I don't need anything, you know, in the world. (So funny--that reminds me: the second day we ever knew each other, he said to me: "What kind jewelry do you like?" And I said--excuse me, I have to go call my mom.)   But you all have inspired me.  And Lucy, I love your NYC and a show idea!

DEBS: Congratulations to Hallie and Jerry on your 50th!! And to Rhys and John, of course, who have already been there/done that.

 Tomorrow I'll tell you what really cool thing (I hope!) we are doing to celebrate this big year!

READERS, how about it? Any weird or wonderful anniversary gifts?

Seattle Mystery Bookshop — 25 Years of Mayhem (and a Reds Giveaway Basket!)

SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL: The Seattle Mystery Bookshop, celebrating "25 Years of Mayhem" is one of those places that makes the reading world a better place. Today, I'm delighted to introduce Fran Fuller, who talks a bit about her history with the shop, providing answers and resources as well as books, and the big push to keep SMB around for another 25 years. Take it away, Fran!

"Do you have a source that lists 

the different kinds of ways people 

have been killed in books?”

FRAN FULLER: Any bookseller will tell you that we're asked to field all kinds of questions, and those of us in the mystery business get some great ones. But this one stopped us. We at Seattle Mystery Bookshop pride ourselves on being a resource as well as purveyors of fine mysteries, but Amber and I blinked solemnly at each other, blank faces mirrored. I could tell we were both thinking, "No, because there'd be too many spoilers!”

Our response ultimately was, "If you can think of a way to kill someone, it's been written. If it hasn't been, you should do it!" He laughed, and we're assuming he's not looking for new and innovative ways to off someone. But then we hope that about all our authors and customers!

Being a resource as well as a shop was part of our dearly departed founder's, Bill Farley, mission here, and believe us, he made sure we lived up to his expectations. And we wouldn't have it any other way.

When I moved up to Seattle from the deserts of New Mexico over a decade ago, I never dreamed I'd make a new home here at SMB. I knew specialty bookstores existed – I'd lived in Minneapolis, after all! - but I'd never worked in one. But I wandered in, and idly asked if they were hiring. JB [Dickley] kicked his feet up on the desk, the way he does, crossed his arms and asked, “Who do you read?"  

"Oh, Jonathan Kellerman, Carolyn Hart. I love Rennie Airth." 

And that was how it started.

Over the years, this place has become a second home. Actually, there are times when my wife maintains it's my primary home! I've met customers who've become family, authors who have made me cry with delight (no names, I've got my tough reputation to maintain, after all!), and coworkers who have brought more joy to my life than any one person has a right to experience.

So when the economic downturn came and we had to make the hard choices,  I was right there,  as bookkeeper, with JB. We cut inventory to the bone. We downsized. We even reduced our staff, which we've tried desperately to avoid. We tightened our belts until our eyes bulged.

And things have gotten better, but far too slowly for the landlord's liking - or ours, for that matter. So once again, we looked at each other and said, "Either we close, or we swallow our pride and ask for help." We've heard time and again that both authors and customers wished they'd known a favorite indie was in trouble, so we put that sentiment to the test and we began a GoFundMe campaign to raise enough money to soothe the panting landlord's breast, pay off the creditors who've most kindly let us buy the books we simply must have to feel at all like a proper mystery shop, and maybe get a little ahead of the game so we can keep going.

As I write this, we're just over a week into our fundraising campaign, and we are gob-smacked. The outpouring of love and support has been nothing less than stunning, and it's come from customers, from authors who've both donated books, money and their voices and networks, from publishers who have given us special gifts to offer as donation rewards, and from people we've never met or even heard of. Each and every one of the donations have – and will continue to have – an immense impact, not just financially although that's vital, but from a morale-boosting point of view.

We feel treasured. We feel loved.

And we feel hope. Seattle Mystery Bookshop has been in existence for over 25 years, and we're now optimistic, if not positively giddy, about the next 25.

Wow. Thank you, each and every one, and let me tell you, the fabulous ladies here at Jungle Red have been deep in our hearts even without the help they've so generously given us.

We love you!

SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL: And we all love you, too!  I'm proud to say that not only have the Reds individually contributed to the Seattle Mystery Bookshop's Go Fund Me Campaign, we're putting together a basket of all of your first novels, signed, that SMB will raffle off in an auction!

If you're in Seattle and want to visit, or just shoot an email about a mystery question, here's the Seattle Mystery Bookshop's information:

Seattle Mystery Bookshop
117 Cherry St., Seattle, WA  98104
206-587-5737
staff@seattlemystery.com
www.seattlemystery.com
25 Years of Mayhem: 1990 - 2015


To make a donation to the Seattle Mystery Bookshop's Go Fund Me Campaign, go here.