HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Hello from Toronto! With many of the
Reds at Bouchercon and Red Julia is running the show from the US. And today we’re talking about a writing (and
reading) element all of us face—whether we’re male or female. Writing (and
reading about) the opposite sex.
Jane doesn’t describe things the same way Jake does. Russ and Clare.
Gemma and Duncan. All of us who write the opposite sex in our books—which would
be, um, all of us—have to explore this minefield.
Happily, today we have the wonderful Linda Lovely leading the way. And she has a bone to pick (see what we did there?) with writers who don't see the difference.
Writing Men—When
You’re A Woman
By Linda Lovely
Most women know there is a whole panoply of words males don’t tend to
use. (Panoply is probably one of them.) Colors are an obvious place to start. My
husband would never describe a room’s color as fuchsia or mauve. Nor would he describe
a woman’s hair as ginger or chestnut.
Let’s suppose he met a woman friend of mine but couldn’t remember her
name. If he tried to describe her, he might tell me she was short or tall,
skinny or fat. He might add she had black hair, a big nose, or sizeable
knockers. But, as long as she was actually wearing clothes, he would not know (or
care) about the details of her outfit. Would he ever mention the brand of a
pair of shoes, a purse, or a scarf? Not in a million years.
This is my starting point. If I’m writing dialogue for a man or I’m
describing something in his point-of-view, I guard against using colors,
brands, and other descriptors I might use if a woman were speaking. Instead I
look for the types of details he might notice to communicate subtleties of
appearance or class.
That’s the easy part. Listening to what the men I encounter do—and
don’t—say in a variety of circumstances. Naturally, male “speak” spans a wide
gamut. For example, professors, plumbers, policemen, physicians and
pro-football players are bound to have different vocabularies.
The harder part is trying to make sure male characters not only talk
like men but think like them.
Or should that be my goal?
I remember hearing one woman romance
author—sorry I don’t remember who—unashamedly boast she wrote characters who
reflected what women WISHED their men were like. After all, it’s fiction, why
not make your heroes think and act as the bulk of your readers (typically
female) dream the ideal male would act and think?
Translated the author might create male characters who display all the
admirable qualities women want in heroes—for example, bravery, honesty, and talented
lover. However, these traits are also coupled with ones more often linked to
the fairer sex—tenderness, empathy, and, most of all, a willingness to verbally
share their most intimate feelings and romantic sentiments.
Yes, I know there are men who exhibit the best of yin and yang. I don’t
mean to imply men can’t be tender, kind, loving, and empathetic. It’s just that
I rarely see them expressing their feelings in the same ways women do. They
act. They seldom engage in long monologues about their feelings,
So, let’s suppose you want to make your male characters as realistic as
possible, how do you do it?
When I’m writing dialogue, I ask: would my character really say this? Would
he use these words? How would he show anger or love, frustration or fear? How
would his language change if he were talking with male buddies? With strangers?
With a lover, a daughter, a mother? All of us speak differently in private and
public settings. The make-up of our audience also has a huge impact on how we
express ourselves.
Even with my best efforts, I can easily miss the mark. That’s why I
depend on two honest male critique partners to set me straight when I wander
off base. In fact, my best advice to women authors is to find males who will read
your manuscript and tell you when your men actually sound like women.
While Bones To Pick, my new
humorous Brie Hooker Mystery series is “cozy” and doesn’t include even R-rated
sex scenes, one of my male critique partners has helped me in the past write
better sex scenes for my romantic thrillers. How? He explained in some detail about
how circumstances impact the rise and fall of the potential for romantic
fulfillment—information only a person with an owner’s manual understands.
If you find a critique partner of the opposite sex, it’s a win-win
situation. You can alert him if his female characters fall within a realistic
behavior spectrum.
What’s the payoff in attempting to create realistic men—and
women—characters? I think it invites readers to more readily suspend disbelief
when your characters are thrown into the unusual or dangerous situations that
most readers (fortunately) never encounter.
HANK: SO interesting! Jonathan often reads my pages—but I’ve never asked
him: would a man say that? How about you, Reds and readers? Any secrets you’ve
discovered about writing the opposite sex?
Over the past five years,
hundreds of mystery/thriller writers have met Linda Lovely at check-in
for the annual Writers’ Police Academy, which she helps organize. While
her new Brie Hooker Mystery series may be “cozy,” she weaves in lots of
adrenaline-packed scenes. Hardly a surprise given all the options
she’s scoped out at the Writers’ Police Academy. Lovely finds
writing pure fiction isn’t a huge stretch given the years
she’s spent penning PR and advertising copy. She writes a blend of
mystery, thrills, and humor, chuckling as she plots to “disappear” the
types of characters who annoy her. Quite satisfying plus there’s no need to
pester relatives for bail. She served as president of her local Sisters in
Crime chapter for five years and also belongs to International
Thriller Writers and Romance Writers of America. She’s the award-winning
author of five prior mystery/suspense/thriller novels. To learn more,
visit her website: www. LindaLovely.com
FB: @LindaLovelyAuthor
Twitter: @LovelyAuthor
