The Ultimate Armchair Adventure

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Okay, enough about Paris. (Well, really, there's no such thing as enough about Paris...) But I want to talk about the places you would NEVER actually go, the thing you would NEVER do,  the adventure that weirdly and inexplicable fascinates you.

Mine is Everest.

I'm not even a hiker, much less a climber. And I'm not that crazy about mountains, as far as scenery goes. (Give me rolling English countryside, or Scottish moors, or beaches and tropical islands.) I can remember reading about Edmund Hillary's expedition when I was child and trying to imagine what it would have been like to climb the world's highest mountain. But the bug really bit me when I read Jon Krakauer's 1999 account of the 1996 ill-fated Everest expedition, INTO THIN AIR.  It is still my favorite non-fiction book. (In 1999, Krakauer received an Academy Award from the American Academy of Arts and Letters, which honors writers of exceptional accomplishment.) Readers, if you haven't read this book, put it on your list!

 
I've since read other books about Everest (Will North's THE GHOSTS OF EVEREST, about Hillary's expedition, is waiting on my bedside table) and seen most of the movies about Everest climbs. I was disappointed with EVEREST (2015) the dramatized account of the 1996 expedition. I think they were trying to be more realistic, but there are a lot of climbers in climbing suits (I couldn't keep up with who was wearing which color) and goggles and face masks, which made them indistinguishable, and the only dialog (mumble mumble) I could understand was at base camp. It's hard to identify with the characters when you can't tell who they are! However, the scenery is spectacular, but I'd read Krakauer's book first.

How about you, REDS?  What's your ultimate armchair adventure?

SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL: Oh my goodness! Miss Edna was obsessed, OBSESSED, with Everest. I watched so many documentaries and read so many books about it with her, it's not even funny. And, Debs, we both loved INTO THIN AIR, too.

I was disappointed with the movie, Everest, as well -- I wish they had picked one character and stuck with him or her — it felt a bit all over the place and I also had issues understanding the dialogue.

So basically for armchair travel, for me it's also mountains, plus anywhere in the jungle—too hot, too humid, too many bugs. And, really, anywhere without indoor plumbing I'd just as well rather read about than experience. Which includes much historical fiction. People are always saying, "Oh, it would be so romantic to live in fill-in-the-blank era," and I always think about the lack of sanitary facilities and modern medicine...

HALLIE EPHRON: I am so sad that it looks as if I won't get to Egypt or Turkey, not with so much unrest in the world. I'll have to travel by book. Like Susan, mountains and jungles will have to be via armchair. A magical place we were at a magical time was Prague just a few months before the Velvet Revolution. It was so beautiful and so alien at the same time. Restaurants where nothing on the menu was actually served; stores where all the merchandise was in locked cabinets; where buying anything (things like bananas from a street vendor, waffles from a window that mysteriously opened onto a sidewalk...) involved waiting in a long line.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I want to live in Oxford, and hang around with Morse. And Lord Wimsey. That would be an adventure, right?  But I'd have loved to be on a glamorous first-class high-society cruise across the Atlantic, or the New York night club scene in the 20s or 30s. But--you know. Briefly.
Usually when I read about "adventures," I think, whew. SO glad I can read about this and not have to do it.


DEBS: Oh, Hallie, yes, Egypt. Me, too. My grandmother and I read everything about Egypt. She was fascinated by it, like Miss Edna with Everest. Then I discovered Elizabeth Peter's Amelia Peabody and I don't even want to admit how many times I've read all those books. My mom loved them, too. I always thought I'd go to Egypt, but now, not so much. So I guess that falls into the "under different circumstances" category, rather than in the "never in a million years" group. Kenya, too, was always a dream, but maybe someday...
 
READERS, what fascinates you that you would never in a million years actually do?

PS The winner of Mark Pryor's The Paris Librarian is Ann in Rochester! Ann, you do know the drill:-) And congrats!

On unreachable goals...

HALLIE EPHRON: Last week I was riveted by Diana Nyad's attempt to swim from Cuba to Florida without a shark cage. The 61-year-old athlete lasted more than 30 hours, fighting squalls and swells and shoulder pain and asthma, before giving up.

She'd first attempted the swim in 1978 (in a shark cage) but was unable to finish then, too, but she set records for swimming around Manhattan in 1975 in less than eight hours and for swimming more than 100 miles from Bimini in the Bahamas to Florida in 1979.

The photographs of her on the boat in tears after being pulled from the water are heartbreaking, but I completely understood her willingness to put herself out there, to publicly try something so hard and at which she would probably fail.

Afterward, she told a CNN interviewer: "I was the best person I could be ... that's the message. I dug down, I dug deep ... Whatever you're doing, do your job well."

While I know none of us would compete in the same league with them, for all of us there is something really hard we would set as a goal. Maybe it's climbing a mountain,running a marathon, walking the Appalachian Trail, cooking an authentic cassoulet, or sewing a quilt.

Of course for all of us it was writing and getting our first novel published. But what else is there for you, in the past or future, that you are determined that it's better to try and fail than to fail to try?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Yes, the book thing, of course. It's interesting to think about setting an amazingly tough goal and planning to go for it, as Diana Nyad did--versus setting a goal that seems difficult but doable...then realizing along the way that it's tougher than you predicted.

Then you're faced with the decision--go ahead? Or give up? Gosh, have I done anything that's immeasurably tough? Right now I'm worrying I CANNOT think of a new plot. And right now? That seems as far away as Cuba.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I'm with Hank. That first novel was a huge goal--the one thing I wanted most and thought I would never accomplish. After that, I thought it would get easier, but it never has. So the goals stay the same--write the best book you can, and write it FASTER. And every one is just as scary.

I would, however, like to make a quilt. That might not compare with swimming without a shark cage, but for someone who can barely sew on a button, it's a challenge. I've even bought all the fabric and my friend who makes wonderful quilts has helped me design it. But I have yet to cut a piece.

HALLIE: Hopefully you'll do better with that quilt than I did. I set out to make one for a double-bed and ended up with a handbag.

LUCY BURDETTE: Yes, yes, write the next great book, and faster! That should be more than enough, shouldn't it?

We've discussed this recently, but I'm not big on physical risk-taking. So Diana's swim felt completely foreign to me. I think she said something along the lines of how it made her feel alive to take on this challenge.

Now I just returned from a bike trip vacation that my husband was very anxious to try. Me, not so much. But I went anyway and found myself cycling through Slovakia in the pouring rain at the very end of the pack of riders even though I was pumping like crazy. Why is this fun? I asked myself, and waved down the support van for a ride for the second half. But I did get stronger over the week. By Wednesday, I rode 29 miles, some of it up a pretty good hill.

I think this experience gave me the sense that I could push myself harder. If I wanted to. But since we already work so hard at writing, maybe the pilates and yoga classes and walking the dog and an occasional bike ride at normal speed are okay too. Don't you think?

ROSEMARY HARRIS: The physical challenges are getting harder and harder for me to say "sure, I'll try that" to. Last year's trek to Everest Base Camp was grueling and I probably wouldn't try Kilimanjaro again since I did it once and would hate to NOT get to the top if I tried it a second time. Two years ago I signed on for a kayak trip that included two long paddles. At one point crossing the Drake Passage (and feeling like a cork bobbing in the wake of giant yachts) I thought - like Lucy - "why did I say I'd do this?" and it was because I knew how great I'd feel afterward - even if I'd had to be rescued, I'd have given it my best shot.

But it's smart to know when to quit. Thinking of the recent deaths in Yosemite this summer, I feel sure all of them could have been prevented with a little more common sense (a la Diana knowing when to get out of the water.) You don't go on the rock (Half Dome) when there's ANY threat of rain.

Now I'm pushing myself harder to finish my WIP. It's a departure from the books I've written before and every once in a while I think I should just write another book Dirty Business mystery, but I want to try something new. Hopefully I can stay in the water until I get there.

HANK: Now that you mention it, ROSEMARY, my new book is completely different from my series. On every level. It was a HUGE leap. And I had NO idea if I could do it. We shall see. Or--you all shall see, when it comes out next year.

DEBS: As for the physical challenges, not so much. I'm in awe of Roberta and Rosemary. I have a thing about Everest--strictly armchair--as I have probably mentioned, so to me the trek to Base Camp sounds wonderful. But my big goal, once the weather cools off, is to ride my bike the mile to my town square and back:-)

JAN BROGAN: My unreachable goals have changed. Now that I know I can write a book, I want to find the perfect story, the story that needs to be told. Fiction or non-fiction doesn't matter. Commercial success has no longer become that important. It's weird, I never thought I'd feel that way. But my objectives have changed and I've become a lot pickier about what I want to write -- which of course, puts a bit of pressure on my next project.

Aside from writing, I really have quite the inventory of unreachable goals. Fluent French (I work at it, pretty hard, but even my friends who have lived there six years and speak to their children in French don't consider themselves fluent.) Way better guitar skills. And making it up to 4.0 in tennis. I will definitely NOT run out of goals that I won't reach, but hey, I do a good job of keeping both my brain and my body active. And that's the point right?

HALLIE: Not surprisingly, my goals have been food. Lobster bisque, starting with live lobsters. A country pate made with layers of duck and veal. Homemade pasta, like you get in Italy, with a bolognese sauce that starts with a whole shoulder of pork and a bottle of red wine (that goes into the sauce, not the cook) and takes a day to prepare.

And the pinnacle, Hungarian dobos torte--a cake with each thin crisp layer made from batter poured on the BACK of a cake pan. Mocha cream filling between the 8 layers and a glass like caramel sugar glaze on top. Last time I tried, I gave up after 5 layers, but I'll do it yet. And one day I'll try making a coffee crunch cake, which if you grew up in LA you might remember from Blums. Making it is like running a chemistry experiment with baking soda and sugar and a very hot oven. If it works: sheer heaven.

So, what are your goals, unreachable and otherwise?

Into Thin Air

ROSEMARY: Well, I am back from my trip to Everest Base Camp (and went straight to Crimebake where there waas more yakkking than yaks.) More than once over the course of the last few weeks I've sworn my next trip will be to Rome where I can sit in a piazza enjoying a cafe macciato and watching the handsome, long-haired boys go by instead of clinging to a mountainside waiting for the long-haired yaks to go by.

It's all S.J. Rozan's fault. I really wanted to go to Mongolia with her last summer but I flip-flopped so many times it got too late and I whined to my husband that I was never going to have any adventures anymore. (I must be careful what I say to him.) Before I knew it I had signed on for a trip to Nepal.

The gear which had served us so well when we climbed Kilimanjaro a few years back would not be good for 0 degrees and we would be limited to thirty pounds of luggage each which meant investing in some newer lightweight sleeping bags, pads, etc. The salespeople at Paragon and EMS must have salivated when they saw us coming with out three page gear lists. ("You really should go for the down booties, too.")

Like Mark Twain said "beware of all enterprises that require new clothes." And as Dorothy Gale says at the end of The Wizard of Oz "some of it wasn't very nice, but most of it was beautiful."

If I thought I'd be thin and tan by the end of the trip, not a chance. Despite walking uphill for 4-8 hours a day the way you are plied with rice, potatoes and other carbs to keep you going negates any calorie deficit, and the food is so bland I found myself fantasizing about Snickers bars and Lay's potato chips, two foods which are available even in the back of beyond. And can someone please explain the appeal of Fanta to me? It's revolting, yet it too is available everywhere. And the goggles I wore over my glasses, combined with the buff - a neckpiece that most sherpas and trekkers wear - gave me a ridiculous windburn on my face - pink and white horizontal stripes. And as for my trip mates - let's just say a fair number of them will be victims in my next book. But most of it was good and neither Bruce and I were injured nor sufered from altitude sickness. And the pictures are killer.

So what adventures or trips have you embarked on that started with certain expectations and wound up differently?

More exotic posts later this week - Are you going to eat that?, the very exotic Tim Hallinan whose Poke Rafferty series is set in Bangkok, bizarre bazaar shopping, Teamwork: How not to kill your teammates whether you are on a mountain or in a writing group (this is where visits to all those temples and monasteries helped out..) and tomorrow a tragic true ..maybe crime that happened earlier this year in Nepal.
Namaste.

ROBERTA: Well Ro, I just don't have the nerve for a trip like that. But I will love to see your pictures and hear the stories. And we did very much enjoy a trip to Rome this fall--would love to go back there. This is me sampling some local pizza...in a piazza.)

One interesting note though--we had a friend who'd been to Rome last spring and absolutely adored it. I had lunch with her and borrowed all her guidebooks and maps and she totally pumped me up. They're crazy about Paris and this was almost, almost, almost as good. So I think all her enthusiasm set us up for a fabulous experience.

JAN: Probably the most adventurous thing I do -- aside from actually having flown in my husband's old plane - which can best be described as a Volkswagen with wings - is sail. Sailing in the British Virgin islands, with my husband as the captain and me as first and only mate still isn't exactly dangerous. The islands are pretty close together. And that's as dangerous as I get these days. But once we sailed from Cuttyhunk to Newport right after a tornado and it was so rough I threw up seven times -- and I'm immune to seasickness. And once coming into Westport Harbor we hit a sandbar just as an huge wave came up and swamped us -- that means the entire boat tips completely on its side (think Titanic movie right before it drops). The boat righted itself and another wave came and it happened again. Still, I would have been a better sport about if my daughter -- then 15 months old - hadnt been strapped into a car seat on the cockpit (to this day she has nightmares about tidal waves). We survived and I made my husband sell the boat. I think the line I used was "I am not risking my child's life for leisure."

Which, Ro, can be adapted to "Hey Bruce, I'm not risking my life for leisure," if you want to get out of climbing the next mountain.....

RO: See...that's one of my worst nightmares. Ever see The Perfect Storm?

HALLIE: I'm with Roberta, Paris and Rome are much more my speed. But I so admire that you did it, Rosemary! You are the queen of adventure travel.

The most adventurous my travel has gotten is a trip to an eco-lodge in Costa Rica. My husband, who hates small planes, found a driver to take us on the 6-hour drive across the mountains from the west coast to the east and dropped us at the edge of a rickety bridge that said CARS PROHIBITED...for obvious reasons. We carried our luggage (quickly) to the other side where there was an rotting wooden dock where we waited. And waited. And waited.

Finally a white motor boat chugged by, picked us up, took us out the mouth of the river and into the ocean (VERY choppy) and around the other side of a peninsula to the beach where we climbed a steep hill in 90+ degree weather and about 90% humidity to the lodge and our tent platform -- no hot water, plenty of ants, and a wild middle-of-the-night visit from a bat. Check your shoes for scorpions in the morning.

The wildlife was spectacular.

RHYS: The most adventurous thing we ever did was to attempt to be one of the first foreigners allowed into Ladakh( I've even forgotten how to spell it). The jeep ride up the side of a 15,000 foot pass, on a narrow strip of gravel across which small torrents streamed certainly kept me awake and alert--especially as the driver thought he could save gas by switching off the engine every time we went downhil. Not wishing to plunge to my death I sat next to him and slapped his hand every time it went near the keys.

These days our adventures are tamer--although we did do the Australian Outback last fall and hiked among the crocodiles and snakes in Kakadu. But my ideal vacation these days is spending some time somewhere nice--like NICE. I loved my two weeks there this summer, going out for croissants in the morning, shopping the markets, taking local buses. Perfect. Plan to house swap in the Dordogne next summer. Any suggestions?

HANK: My riskiest trip? A blog for another day. Welcome home, Dear RO!