HALLIE EPHRON: Still no vaccine (but I’m finally signed up for one!) in my corner of the universe, so it’s been months since I’ve been to a store. But that doesn’t mean I’ve been wanting… for anything. Because whatever your little heart desires is only a click away, and the wonders of “free shipping” make the shopping guilt-free.
Almost.
Until the thing comes and it’s not quite what you had in mind. A parka that’s too tight across the shoulders. A pair of leggings that are six inches too long. A pair of shoes that, halfway around the block, begin to pinch. A dry vac attachment that it turns out I already had but didn’t rediscover until after I’d placed the order.
I’m as reluctant to go to the post office or UPS store as I am to go to Marshalls or Home Depot, so my not-quite-right purchases that came with free shipping gather dust in the front hall.
Have you been indulging in retail therapy during the pandemic, and how’s it working out for you?
RHYS BOWEN: We have bought everything online, and I mean EVERYTHING! From toilet paper to my favorite British cereal to all the medications one buys at the drug store. It’s amazing. One click and it comes the next day. That has all worked perfectly.
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| Rhys, waiting for her close-up |
Clothes and gadgets not so much. I ordered a 36 inch rope of pearls for my daughter and two 18 inch strands arrived. I ordered a mid calf linen dress (which came from China, little did I know) and it was white cotton, above the knee. The sort of thing an orphan would wear. And of course I am not going to send it back. I’ve ordered a lot from Chico’s which is my go-to store anyway and most have been really good (and cheap in their sales) but a couple have had such a different shade of color from the picture that I’ve given them to my daughter.
I have learned never to order from a Facebook ad because they seem to come from China and are not well made, if there get here at all. Paypal has refunded a couple of items that never arrived. But I get my second vaccine this week and then I CAN GO SHOPPING IN A REAL STORE AGAIN! Macy’s here I come, and then back to Arizona and Chico’s there I come.
However…. I have learned, from wearing the same pair of sweatpants for several months now, that I don’t need any more clothes. In fact I have weeded out quite a few. It seems shallow to say that I only want to look nice for other people but it seems to be true.
LUCY BURDETTE: Oh Rhys, this is so true about buying things from Facebook ads--they look so good! But I ordered a special blue rubber toy that you fill with dog toothpaste. Then the puppy is supposed to chew and clean her teeth all at once. It took a month to arrive from Shanghai (yes I should have read the fine print) and it took under ten minutes for Lottie to shred it to blue bits. I was mad because it cost a fair amount. I did complain and the customer service promised a new one for super chewers. That was three weeks ago…
JENN McKINLAY: Since Hub took over the cooking when the pandemic started - to give himself something to do - I wanted to encourage this new passion. Twenty years of being the chef de cuisine will do that for a gal. So my flurry of online pandemic purchases have been of the culinary kind but not for me. Hub has new knives, new pots and pans, new dishes, a manly apron and he’s found a new hobby that he’s really good at. Win win win!
JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Jenn, that’s the kind of hobby you want to encourage! In my house, I’ve gotten both a new phone and a new laptop online - both the sort of things I would have bought in person in the Before Times. The Maine Millennial has been doing a lot more shopping than I have; warm leggings and scented candles and toys for the dog etc, etc. I suspect, however, that she’d be doing most of this online anyway.
As for me, I miss two types of real-world shopping very much: bookstores and antique/junk stores. In both cases, I love to browse, and can spend two hours getting to one purchase. You just can’t replicate that experience online!
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: The returns! SO awful. I am pretty good about figuring out sizes on Facebook and Insta--but my purchases have pretty much been confined to camisoles (I always order L even though I am an M) and sweatshirty things (I always order XL even though I am an M.). Fleecy hoodies and comfy shoes. I am batting pretty well for on-line purchases, and I agree, I am more careful than I might be since I am not setting one toe into the post office.
However. I have had one EPIC EPIC FAIL. See this dress? How pretty it looks? All floaty and long and perfect for the Caribbean? And! It looked even better in the ad. I gasped when I saw it, what a perfect dress! And could it be--it was something like $27.95. (No, no alarm bells of utter impossibility went off, because how could you ruin this dress? Even in the cheapest version, it would be fine.)
WRONG.
First, it's made out of I don't know what, maybe...compressed slime. I have never touched such hideous fabric.
Second, here it is hanging on a door. Do you see how long it is? Imagine someone's body in it. See how extended the middle is? It pools on the floor, at least 6 inches too long for me. Also, the length is from the black part, so you'd have to cut off the pretty part to shorten it. This dress is perfect--for someone about 7 feet tall. I am not kidding. And I am not sending it back, because I have no idea where to send it.
HALLIE: Perfect dress for a stilt walker!
I've bought (I know you all knew this) jigsaw puzzles! And they've all been wonderful. One of them was missing 2 pieces. I emailed the maker and they gave me a free puzzle. Pretty great. Go Springbok!
