Partying thoughtfully with Robyn Harding

HALLIEEPHRON: When I was at Surrey International Writers Conference in Vancouver this year, I met Robyn Harding. It's one of the great pleasures of going to writing conferences, meeting people that you then want to introduce to your friends. 

Robyn is the author of The Party (June 2017, Scout Press/Simon & Schuster), as well as four contemporary women's novel, a young adult novel, and a comedic memoir.

Oh, yeah, she's also a screen writer.

...AND the mother of teenagers. 

So she was perfectly equipped to write about a good daughter, caring parents, and the aftermath of a Sweet Sixteen that tears a family apart. The Booklist reviewer called it "a cross between Megan Abbott and Jodi Picoult by way of James Patterson." Not too shabby and right up my alley!

Welcome, Robyn! Please tell this story isn't part memoir.

ROBYN HARDING: When the mother of two teenagers writes a book about an incident of teen drinking gone horribly wrong, readers tend to make assumptions. Firstly, they think the book is about the author and her family. 

“Are you Kim?” they ask me, delighted to think that I am secretly an uptight, semi-adulterous, control freak. “Is your daughter a sneaky drinker? Do you and your husband keep secrets from each other?” 

I assure them that the book is fiction. We are a normal family, and, while far from perfect, we are significantly less messed up than the characters in The Party.

Secondly, readers think that I must have a strong, informed stance on teen drinking, that I must have answers. Sadly, I don't.

When my eldest became a teen, I was strict. There were no parties under my roof. If my son was invited to a get-together, I asked about parental supervision. I never supplied him with liquor, and I did random sniffs of his breath and his water bottle for telltale signs of drinking. 

When he turned 18, he was accepted into university in Montreal, where the legal drinking age is 18 (it is 19 in Vancouver where we live). I would be sending my baby to a city, 3,000 miles away, where he could legally drink. Where he could go to bars and nightclubs.

Suddenly, I feared my strict alcohol policy had failed him. He should have practiced! At home! Where I was just a phone call away, if he got sick, or needed a ride . . . or bail!

My daughter is in twelfth grade, now. I find myself being slightly more lenient with her. She goes to parties, on occasion. We talk about setting limits with booze, about pacing herself, about eating a substantial dinner, and drinking water between alcoholic beverages (things I learned the hard way).

The scenario in The Party, while fictitious, was inspired by numerous real-life cases where well-meaning parents paid an enormous price when teen drinking went wrong. 

As a writer, I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell such a disturbing tale, to shepherd these characters from one disaster to the next. But I knew this was a book that I would want to read. And I felt it was an issue that would make for compelling drama.

So now, I have written a novel about teen drinking, but I am no expert. I think every kid is different. Zero-tolerance might illicit respectful compliance in one child and drive another one to rebel. Being a “cool” parent might prompt moderation in some kids, while others would take the freedom to extremes. 

I hope that this novel will get parents to talk: to each other, and to their teens. . ..

Whether that is over a cup of tea or a glass of wine, is up to them.

HALLIE: I have two daughters so this resonates with me. You do what you can to endow them with common sense and resourcefulness, but then you have to let go and allow them make their own mistakes. Add alcohol to the mix, and all bets are off. 

So what do you think? How did your parents introduce you to alcohol and help you deal with drinking when you came of age (and before)?