HALLIE EPHRON: It’s been ages since I was the tooth fairy, but a poll from Delta Dental caught my eye, reporting that the average tooth fairy payout has increased 349% since 1998.
Yikes! Talk about inflation... Nowadays, on average, a lost tooth nets nearly... SIX DOLLARS?? And “on average” means that half of the tooth fairies out there are shoveling out more than that. For a tooth!!
I don't remember what my tooth fairy delivered, but I do remember my father threatening to tie a string to that damned tooth and tie the other end of the string to the knob of an open bathroom door, and slam that door to yank out the tooth that I was very disgustingly playing with while it hung from a thread. ICK.
Losing teeth was a big deal for my kids. My daughter Molly was bereft when she literally lost her first tooth in a neighbor’s snow bank and had to put a note explaining it under her pillow instead of the actual tooth.
The trauma of it had us reading the wonderful ONE MORNING IN MAINE children's book to her, all about a little girl who loses her tooth while digging for clams. So traumatic.
After that Molly always left a note for the tooth fairy, hoping that flattery would make the tooth fairy more generous. I don't think it worked.
When I asked Molly today about her memories of the tooth fairy, she said, “My tooth fairy was very cheap.”
Which is exactly, to the word, what her sister Naomi said. “Cheap!” And by way of piling on, Naomi added. “One time we were in Switzerland and the tooth fairy thought I’d be excited to get foreign coins but it amounted to about 12 cents. I couldn’t even buy chocolates.”
I asked her what her kids (my grands) get for a tooth and her answer was, “They get a dollar and they’re happy with that.” I did not say what I was thinking, but it rhymes with bleep.
Did you survive the trauma of losing your first tooth? Do you have memories of the tooth fairy? Did you leave a note under your pillow? And what did the tooth fairy usually leave you?
