What Am I going to Wear?

 RHYS BOWEN:  While I am celebrating the release of a Royal Spyness novel (FROM CRADLE TO GRAVE) I am also in the middle of writing the next one. This one is going to be centered on the coronation of King George VI in 1937, a coronation that should have been that of his brother.  Lady Georgie has received an invitation to the ceremony at the Abbey. 

As the book opens and she realizes she’ll be going to London for the big occasion can you guess what is her biggest worry? What to wear! I bet you guessed, didn’t you.  You see she won’t be going as a peeress any more because she is now married to the Hon Darcy O’Mara who is the son of a peer, but not a peer himself. Therefore she won’t be wearing the traditional peeresses robes and coronet. She’ll be wearing smart, ordinary clothes. The big problem is that she doesn’t own any smart clothes, at least not smart enough for a coronation with the eyes of the world on her (and the first television outside broadcast in the world)

Her only dressmaker has a sick child and she doesn’t dare buy off the peg in case other women are wearing the same thing. She certainly can’t afford a designer outfit like her mother.  What will she do?  You’ll have to read the book next year to find out…

However…

Her dilemma echoes my own. When any event is approaching I agonize about what to wear. I lie in bed staring at my wardrobe. I try on ten outfits, all not quite right. When I have finally decided on an outfit I have last minute doubts. It’s too warm, not warm enough. Is it too fancy? Too casual? I know it’s silly to worry about such a casual thing, but it haunts me.

And too often it’s never quite right. I look at the weather forecasts and go on a trip to England (as I did last month) It was supposed to be cold. I took sweaters. It was mild. I wore the only blouse three times.  In Cassis last year it was supposed to be summery in September. It turned cold and daughter Jane and I had to find sweaters in the market (actuallyt the shopping was great and really fun.)

Before every book event I agonize especially. My big dread is when a fan comes to greet me and says “I took a pic of us together last time you were here” and i’M WEARING THE SAME JACKET. Mortification!

I know it shouldn’t matter. But it does.

So how about you, Reds?

Do you obsess about what to wear? Do you have any horror stories?

LUCY BURDETTE: I know that feeling so well Rhys! (Although I don’t think Hayley Snow worries much about clothes.) John says all the time that I look in my closet and wail that I have nothing to wear. How can that be when my closet is STUFFED with clothing. Traveling makes it even harder. I’ve gotten pretty good at figuring out layers. They may not be fashionable but I can titrate the temperature!

JENN McKINLAY: I’m not much of an agonizer. Like Lucy, I’ve become really good at layering. Somehow my personal thermostat has been wonky ever since I hit the mid-fifties and I’m always hot or cold but never just right. Mostly, I try to wear clothes that make me happy whether it’s a pair of boots or a funky jacket. If I focus on the one piece that makes me smile, I don’t care about the rest.

HALLIE EPHRON: Isn’t that one of the delicious things about having a new book out with events at which to strut your stuff? It’s always been my cue to SHOP. But since Covid there are so few places to actually shop… in person. And IMHOP you can’t get something *special* that you haven’t tried on. My go-to boutique in Cambridge has shut down, and the mall is full of fast food. Lord & Taylor and Filene’s caput. :-(

RHYS: Hallie, I totally agree. It's impossible to buy things on line without trying them on. And my local Macy's has closed, so has Talbots, J Jill... all my old standbys. The nearest Chicos is twenty miles away. We do still have a Nordstrom but that's about it.

HANK PHILLIPI RYAN: Guilty, here. It’s really part of me, I have come to admit, and maybe from 40 years on TV and having to be camera-ready at any second. I am pretty good at knowing what will fit in on-line purchases, but of course, free shipping on returns.

And yes, the scourge of social media. I can pack for a two-week book tour with one carryon bag and no checked bags–yay me. But whoa, “Hank in the green jacket” is on repeat on social media, and there’s nothing to do about it. I’d  rather repeat clothes than have a suitcase go lost, though.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Hank, you are our packing heroine! Like Rhys, when I've done big book tours I have agonized over choices AND spent a lot of money on new things. From a photo I can tell which book it was immediately by the outfit. Now I think I will just wear black, which is already my wardrobe basic, and not worry about it. 

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I just did the agonizing-over-what-to-bring thing for my (ongoing) book tour. I had to go from Maine (high of 40) to Arizona (65) to Houston (85) and then to NY’s North Country (high of 40, chance of snow.) I need my outfits to be professional, hopefully flattering, and NOT the same as ones I’ve been photographed in at previous events!

For in-person special events, I tend to spend an hour or more going through my closet, trying on this and that, and wondering why I own so many useless clothes. I try to come up with a new mix and match based on what I already have, because, like the rest of you, my things fill up my bedroom closet and overflow into a now-empty child’s closet. And that’s not counting the off-season items in the attic!

RHYS: Sometimes we do coordinate!

So now it's confession time, Reddies.  Do you find yourself agonizing over what to wear?

Are you In The Audience?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  First, I cannot get over how fantastic it was to see so many of you on Thursday. Wow wow wow! That was a day to remember! And I hope, I truly hope, that it will encourage first time posters to join with us more often! We absolutely adored seeing you, and learning about you, and it makes reading the blog so different, now, being able for me to imagine all of you out there.

 

(And your Valentine stories were great! Also, we had some winners throughout  this week, too, and I will announce those all on Sunday.)

 

Also! You know how we love a THEME! And maybe the wonderful (I’m not exaggerating one bit, take a look at her bio) Christine Murphy might have read Carter Wilson’s advice-to-readers blog on Wednesday—although maybe not—and today she has more ideas about being a good citizen of book world. And you can tell just by reading them what a terrific writer she is!

 

And make sure you look at her bio and info on her debut novel at the end of the page. Amazing!

 

One Author's Plea to Prospective Book Event Audiences 

          By Christine Murphy

Book events are strange affairs. Populated with family and friends, strangers off the street with nothing else to do that day, or people who genuinely think warm cheese and Q&As about which pencil an author uses are interesting. As I embark, for the first time, on a series of events where I will be on stage, instead of in the audience, I consider what I would love to have from an audience.

 

1. Show up.

Our publicist tells us we’re not going on tour because events don’t sell books.

We do not believe them.

We are convinced they’re lying, because the household name we follow on social media just returned from a seven-month world tour (#grateful he posts next to an announcement for the next book he sold) and he sells books.

So we preen and prep before our single event at the bookstore where our friend works, convinced the room will be packed with adoring fans.

We arrive and say hi to our parents and long-suffering spouse (who we forgot to mention in the acknowledgements- amazing, really, that they showed up at all) and ask the helpful clerk behind the desk where the stage is and she points to the empty space between the history shelves, where the teenagers are making out because no one ever looks at the history shelves.

 

Please. Attend the event. Attend any book event for any author, for any book. We are a weak and neurotic people. We are desperate for attention. Please show up. Buy the book. Speak to our family (easy to spot- they’ll be the only other people there). Lie and tell them you read a review and you are so excited to meet us. Let us feel like the decade we spent on something that earned us, after taxes, enough for three sodas, means something to someone. You can return the book tomorrow.

 

2. Ask a question

Please ask a question. Any question. Much like a fortune cookie with “in bed” at the end of it, just add “while writing?” to whatever is on your mind and make that your question.

 -What did you have for breakfast (while writing)?

 -What do you think about modern politics (while writing)? (Maybe not, actually. Never mind. Stay away from politics.)

 -Did you really film a video in your bathtub on Instagram (while writing)?

 

We don’t care. We stare blinking into your generous eyes, shaking like a chihuahua with a bladder infection at the thought of someone other than our mothers showing an interest in our work. It’s pathetic. We know that. You know that. Ask a question anyway.

 

3. Ask us to sign it.

Please do this. We’ll be so excited.

Daydreaming about signing novels is how pretentious intellectuals daydream about signing autographs.  Tell us to write something ridiculous, so we can huff and have a story to tell our friends, a story which, ostensibly, is about the thing you made us write, but in reality is about the burdens of fame. We would love to be able to tell stories about the burdens of fame.

 

4. Tell us you are looking forward to the next book.

This one is easy to remember. We’ll be talking about our next book, even though we haven’t started writing it yet. We’re terrified. Secretly, we’re hoping that the first book will do so well we’ll never have to write another one.

Knowing that someone other than our agents and our mothers are expecting another book is a different sort of motivation. Oh god, we’ll think as you tell us how excited you are, someone actually cares. And it will remind us, even if we think you’re lying, that we care too.

 

HANK: Ohh, this is great, absolutely great! And since my new book is a thriller about book events--truly, they are front and center in so many scenes--I have been thinking and thinking about what it's like to be on the author side of the microphone.  I’d say 99% of the time, it's brilliant fabulous fantastic. But one of the time... well, there's that. And we'll talk about that later.

 

But weigh in, Reddies, tell us some things about book events! From the attendee side of the microphone, what do you think? From the author side, what do you think?

 

CHRISTINE MURPHY has lived, worked, and traveled in more than a hundred countries, including living for eleven months in a tent across the African continent and a year as a resident in a Buddhist nunnery in the Himalayas. A trained Buddhologist, Murphy has a Ph.D. in religious studies. This is her first novel.

SURVIVING THE FIRE

When Sarah’s only friend in her graduate program is found dead of an alleged heroin overdose, Sarah is forced back into the orbit of the man in their department who assaulted her. A hurtling ride of a novel—darkly funny and propulsive.

At a Ph.D. program in Southern California, Sarah and her best friend, Nathan, spend their time working on their theses, getting high, and keeping track of the poor air quality due to nearby forest fires. No one believes Sarah when she reports a fellow student for raping her at a party—“He’s such a good guy!”—and the Title IX office simply files away the information, just like the police. Nathan is the only person who cares.

    When Sarah finds Nathan dead of an overdose from a drug he’s always avoided, she knows something isn’t right. She starts investigating his death as a murder, and as the pieces fall into place, she notices a disturbing pattern in other student deaths on campus.

    As a girl, Sarah grew up in the forests of Maine, following her father on hunts, learning how to stalk prey and kill, but only when necessary. Now, she must confront a different type of killing—and decide if it can be justified.

    Notes on Surviving the Fire is a story about vengeance, the insidious nature of rape culture, and ultimately, a woman's journey to come back to herself.

What, me worry? Pre-launch jitters

HALLIE EPHRON: So my book comes out tomorrow and my stomach is doing flip flops and I can't sleep I am so anxious. I tell myself: Hey, there are people who will love it and people who won't. It's all about personal taste. And besides that, getting reviewed at all is a gift.

But still I read reviews with my eyes squinched, half-closed so I can shut it down if there's a snarky (and probably valid, sadly) remark about me or my lovely characters or my clever plot. You'd think with this being my 9th novel I'd have gotten over it.

And because misery loves company, I was telling Jacqueline Winspear (whose 11th Maisie Dobbs mystery, "A Dangerous Place," debuted last week; USA Today ran a glowing review), how nervous I was, expecting her to be all lah-dee-dah and tell me that yes, it does get better.
 
But no. She said she dreads these before-launch days as much if not more than me. I found this oddly reassuring.

So, dear Reds, does pre-launch give you the jitters? Or is it just an exciting version of "anything can happen days?" And while we're at it, what's your cure for nausea and insomnia?

LUCY BURDETTE: First of all, we can't wait for pub day so everyone can read this great book!

I kind of like the pre-launch days because anything is possible. To me the more stressful time is launch week itself--waiting for those reviews to hit and watching the silly numbers--which truly don't mean much because we don't have access to the whole picture.

But I can't imagine that any writer has a thick enough skin so that they aren't nervous...wouldn't that mean you hadn't put everything you had into it?

RHYS BOWEN: Having had a book out three weeks ago and having returned home from an exhausting three days in Southern Cal last night I'm still in full launch jitters mode. Really manic, swinging between elation and despair.

I saw who had a new book out on the same day and resigned myselt to not making the New York Times list with this book. Then I found that the Huffington Post had done a feature on the seven most suspenseful new books and I was one of them!

So ups and downs. Knowing I shouldn't read reviews, especially Amazon, but doing it anyway. The thrill of seeing my new book on the shelf in one store and the agony of defeat when a Barnes and Noble has never heard of it.

I'm trying to learn never to expect too much and being pleasantly surprised by the good things. But I haven't learned it yet. Probably never will.

So Hallie, enjoy every moment. Tell yourself that you are luckier than several zillion writers who are dying to have a book published or who have self-published it but nobody will ever know about it. You're in the top tier, the tip of the pyramid. It will be a brilliant success!
HALLIE: As a wise woman once said... well, what you just said, Rhys. And congratulations on the Huff Post call out! Wow!!

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Hallie, I'm excited about your book launch for you!! And I have no doubt that reviewers AND readers will love it. It's a great book.

That said, however, I sympathize with you. I try not to look at numbers (although for the first few days it's impossible not to...) I wish I had never heard of Amazon ranking. I dread reviews, even though over the course of sixteen books the good have certainly outnumbered the bad.

Still, there's always a first time, and THIS one could be the book that is a total flop, right? I try (and mostly succeed) not to read any reviews on Amazon. And I tell myself repeatedly that all I can do is write the best book I can, and then go on to the next one.

Cure for nausea and insomnia?  Read a good book:-)

SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL: Oh, I was a mess at first — a total mess. But with each book, more things seemed to happen, both good and bad in so-called real life.

For my last book launch for THE PRIME MINISTER'S SECRET AGENT,  I was in the hospital with Miss Edna — and, honestly, I really didn't care about reviews or really anything much at all besides her and my family. My book tour that summer was plagued with worries I'd have to fly home at a moment's notice for an emergency or worse.

Which all sounds pretty depressing — except that it give great perspective on the vicissitudes of this business. And I'm grateful for that.
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  Here's what I think.  The only thing worse than prelaunch--is NO pre-launch. Right? AmIright?

So--easier said than done, I know--count your blessings, this is wonderful, your book is wonderful, this is it it IT, and the hard part is over (sort of, except the air travel and smiling)(but that can be wonderful), you've written it, it has a gorgeous cover and a gorgeous inside and everyone is going to clamor for it.

My cure for insomnia and nausea is ..um, well, nothing. I'd say shopping, but you don't do that and it doesn't work anyway, or wine, but that way lies madness and you can't drink during the day.

Exercise?

Really--how about simply TRY to be happy. Your stomach is hurting and you can't sleep because you are EXCITED! Yay.

(And you can do the same for me in October.)​

HALLIE: I AM happy, because while I'm posting this I get a link to a review of my book in the Richmond Times-Dispatch. It's a rave, and ends with:  

"So hooray for Hollywood, hooray for homicide, and hooray for Hallie Ephron, who begins with a seed of truth and grows it into a bumper crop of crime and cynicism."

That helps. In fact, it's probably the best antidote for this version of anxiety.

What do you do to keep quiet butterflies in your stomach and lull yourself into tranquility. I'm listening!