Improvising in the kitchen... uh oh

 

HALLIE EPHRON: I love to cook. And experiment with whatever I have leftover in the fridge. Sometimes the results are fine. But….

For example, whenever I roast a chicken (or, to tell the truth, buy a roasted chicken from the supermarket) I take the leftover carcass, skin, and whatever… and turn it into a soup.

I sautee onions, carrots, celery, mushrooms. Add the leftover chicken carcass, broken up. Add salt and pepper and any herbs I have kicking around (e.g. parsley). Cover with water. Throw in 3-4 tablespoons of chicken bouillion. Bring to a boil and simmer for a couple of hours.

Cool. Remove the chicken from the soup. Return every scrap of meat to the pot; toss the bones and skin.

Usually I then boil handfuls of flat noodles and add them to the soup.

Voila: dinner for another week, and like eating for free.

But the last time I made the soup I got the bright idea: why not boil the noodles with the finished soup instead separately in its own water.

Why not, indeed.

Turns out the noodles DISSOLVED when I cooked them in the soup. And the resulting “soup” was the consistency of wallpaper paste.

Not yummy.

Do you like the experiment in the kitchen, and have you ever tried something that turned out to be spectacular, or a big mistake?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Ohhhhh I used to make–(and I don’t know why I stopped, they were delicious) double-stuffed tiny tiny new potatoes.

I’d boil the potatoes til done, then when cooled, scoop out the middles with a melon baller, then mix the scooped out potato with sour cream and chives and salt and pepper, then put that mixture back into the potato cups, and top with crumbled bacon and cheddar cheese.

DEEEEELICIOUS.

So once, preparing for a party, I decided that it would be much faster to put all the ingredients into the Cuisinart, and mix them that way instead of with a big spoon and a big bowl.

And, indeed, it was easy.

But it was also a disaster.

The potato mixture turned into TOTAL GLUE.

I cannot begin to describe the texture further, except maybe to say, Play-Doh.

I have since learned that you can’t mash potatoes in a blender thing or food processor, because the speed of the blades tears the starch molecules and releases them, and they mix with the liquid in the potatoes, and the result: a gummy horrible UNFIXABLE glue.

I regrouped, used the oven to make potato chip-like things from the skins, and after they were crisped up, I added sour cream and bacon and cheese and no one knew.

And I learned a big lesson.

JENN McKINLAY: The only thing I cook these days (Hub took over during the pandemic and I said “no give backsies” when he returned to work) is the smoothie that Hub and I have for breakfast every morning.

The extent of my experimenting is putting a fistful of spinach or beet greens in the smoothie, which I tell my husband is kiwi to explain the green color as he is not a vegetable guy. LOL.

RHYS BOWEN: When we were newly married and had to entertain a lot my husband despaired that I always cooked recipes I’d never tried before.

Most worked fine. Some didn’t. My most spectacular failure was a turban of sole, stuffed with shrimp and mushrooms. In the picture it looked fantastic. A real show stopper.

I turned mine out onto the plate and it came out–swoosh–in a heap. A disastrous mess on the plate.

Business guests were sitting in the next room waiting to ooh and ah as I carried it in. Quick thinking required. I made a roux with sherry, added a little ketchup for pinkness, and served it over rice. Nobody knew but me!

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: The thing I learned not to experiment with? Holiday meals. One of the first Thanksgivings we had in This Old House, I got carried away and decided to add an authentic Pilgrim pie, which was essentially a vegetable tart.

It was a disaster! Not because I messed up the recipe, but because the Pilgrims’ ate crappy, undercooked veggies in a thick pastry shell that tasted like overcooked bread mixed with sawdust. Now I know why they were such a grim people.

It was a true penance to eat. My father-in-law, God bless him, actually downed a piece and proclaimed it “Interesting!” I chucked the rest out and next year, saved the pie slot for pumpkin and pecan.

HALLIE: So time to 'fess up... what's your most spectacular kitchen improv failure?

Terri Austin on her Culinary Journey

My mother used to say a cook is only as good as her equipment (she had an avocado green electric with three busted burners—I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions ). As a teenager, I conquered Kraft macaroni and cheese—mainly because I couldn’t yet drive to McDonald’s and I didn’t want to starve to death. When I got married, I received all sorts of casserole dishes and pans, but I had no idea what to do with them. A lovely lady in my office gave me a hand-written stack of her tried and true recipes. She’d been married for over forty years and was a seasoned cook. I took one look at the recipe cards and asked what broil meant. She thought I was joking. So trust me when I say my culinary skills are few, but hard won. 

I mainly learned to cook by reading countless cookbooks and watching Martha Stewart. What I lacked in skill, I made up for in enthusiasm. Fortunately, my husband has a strong constitution and my kids weren’t picky eaters.

Over the years I’ve had a few triumphs: chili, pork carnitas, killer pot roast. Nothing exotic, yet very comforting and definitely palatable. Still, there have been more flops than I can count (I’m talking to you, clam chowder with scorched milk). But my failures didn’t stop me from trying.

I just bought a new stove. Now the oven door closes all the way and the burners put out more even heat than their predecessor—it’s all terribly exciting. And so I decided to try my hand at canning. Not scary pressure cooker canning (I’m not that brave yet). But I have been making jams and apple butter, experimenting with different flavors and combinations—apple pear butter sweetened with honey makes me googly-eyed. And there’s a lemon marmalade recipe I’m dying to try. Although it’s sometimes tedious work, I find it satisfying, and I like keeping those old-fashioned traditions alive. Also, it’s nice to have a taste of each season all year round.

And talk about kitchen equipment—I also got a new Dutch oven. Anyone know why they’re called that? For its maiden voyage, I experimented by making strawberry syrup. Strawberries and sugar. Pretty easy, but tasted fabulous. I plan on using it for pancakes this weekend.

Lemon marmalade. Strawberry syrup. See the theme?  In my Rose Strickland Mystery Series, I write about a waitress who works at a breakfast-only establishment. Despite the setting, it’s not a culinary mystery. Rose doesn’t cook, unless you count ramen noodles. Still, I’ve done a little research on interesting breakfast foods for Rose to serve up: eggnog pancakes, pumpkin spice French toast, and peach breakfast cobbler to name a few. Since breakfast is my favorite meal, I’m always on the lookout for new recipes to try.

So Jungle Red readers, can you help Rose Strickland?  Do you have any tasty breakfast recipes? (Has anyone made gingerbread pancakes? If so, how they turn out?)

And what’s your favorite new piece of kitchen equipment?

(Jungle Red Writers—thanks for having me on today! It was a pleasure to be here and share my culinary journey.)