What to Do When the World's on Fire

 LUCY BURDETTE: Honestly, it feels a tad hard to stay optimistic these days. Covid is still with us although probably less lethal, horrifying wars abound, countries we don’t trust are rattling their nuclear sabers, the climate is warming and our politicians don’t seem to want to take action. Oh and don’t let me forget violence against politicians, and ordinary citizens who deny basic truths. What is wrong with this country?? (Make sure you vote tomorrow if you haven’t already–it’s more important than ever that we all speak up!)

Remember the early days of the pandemic when we were all holed up in our respective caves and terrified? It’s not quite that bad, but it could be. So I thought it might be time to talk about how we’re doing and to share ideas about how we’re handling the stress. 

For me, it’s a combination of keep working (because I have a lot of work that I am happy to have), keep reading (has anybody else tried Colleen Hoover‘s books?), and watch cat videos. See above for the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time, sent by a friend from college days.

How about you Reds? Tips for staying sane?

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: How do I manage stress? Honestly, having my dogs around helps. It’s hard to feel angst when you’re rubbing a furry belly. (Those of you with no dogs but with hirsute spouses can try this as well.) I make sure to spend time outdoors every day, walking the dogs or bringing in wood from the woodpile or just sitting on my front porch.

I also find the more I can stick to my routine, the better I feel. Is this an age thing, or do we all crave order and repetition, but never get the chance when we’re raising kids or working for someone else?

RHYS BOWEN: I certainly find life stressful enough now, having been through Covid, insurrections, lies and rising inflation. I worry how people can survive with the cost of everything soaring up. I’m not sure that I do manage stress that well! I find it hard to get back to sleep if I wake in the middle of the night. 

Certainly being in nature helps. When I’m in Marin I often drive to a nearby beach and listen to the lap of water and watch the sea birds. Now I’m back in Arizona and I love the view from my office window. I like lying on a sun bed and watching palm trees swaying above me. I love to swim, or just lie in the water looking up at those palm trees.

And I love to laugh. British comedies like Miranda (on Britbox) can do a power of good for me.

HALLIE EPHRON: My kids and my grands do a lot to keep me focused on what matters. Laughing a lot helps, too. I find the books and TV shows I watch have to have a strong dose of smart humor and likeable characters.  And trying to get a walk in every day. Lucy, love that cat video!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: This is such a profound question, and  such a personal and complicated answer. My husband has said to me “I have never heard you be this angry.” But that’s where it is, I am so sad, and so angry, and so… 

Astonished.  

I have spent my entire career looking for the truth, and it is jaw-dropping tonthink about how people just don’t care. They just – – don’t care about the truth, the only thing that matters is what they want. And that becomes true. 

Okay, end of rant. It’s such a balance, because we have to care about the big picture, and also care about the little picture—ourselves, and our families, and our little world.

I truly think we simply have to be grateful for what we have. Did we have a wonderful muffin for breakfast? Is our coffee completely delicious? Is there a beautiful bird in our backyard? We saw this woodpecker! Amazing!

 I am so aware that what we have is right now. And we have to love it and embrace it and notice it.

I do my work, the best I can.  I try to enjoy my very very lucky life, and I try to look at the world as if humans are basically good. 

I put my head down, and I work. And I try to count my blessings, and be optimistic. 

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Lucy, the cat video is hysterical! I definitely need to see more things that just make me laugh. It's such a hard balance these days–I feel a responsibility to be engaged with what's going on in the world, but on the other hand it's so terrifying and it makes me so angry that it's impossible to function without some way to shut it out. Routine helps, as Julia says. Concentrating on the joy of small everyday things, friends and family, reading (thanks to Judy Singer for recommending the audio versions of Evie Dunmore's books–an absolute delight, but so meaningful, too.) And, unless, I'm frantically up against a deadline, writing, because once I'm absorbed in my story, it holds the world at bay.

Red readers, how are you doing? Tips for staying sane?

ON OUR CIVIC DUTY

"This is essentially a people's contest... whose leading object is to elevate the condition of men - to lift artificial weights from all shoulders - to clear the paths of laudable pursuit for all - to afford all, an unfettered start and a fair chance, in the race of life."

*** Abraham Lincoln

HANK: Do you remember the first time you voted for president? I--don't.

In 1972, the first year I was old enough to vote, I lived in Washington, DC. I had left my job at the US Senate and was working for Rolling Stone Magazine. I tell you, I must have voted. I love voting, and would not have missed it. (Not that it would have mattered in the final vote count...) But try as I might, I don't remember doing it. Was I too young to know how important it was?

In 1976? I was in Atlanta. Working as a reporter. Again, trying to reconstruct the actual moment of voting. (Again, not that it would have mattered in the final vote count.) I did vote. But I can't remember pulling a lever or punching a card or anything. Was I too busy to know how important it was?

I remember 1980, still in Georgia, because I was making a statement with my vote, and maybe that wasn't a good idea. So I remember that vote, because I still feel somewhat guilty. Not that it would have mattered in the final vote count.

I definitely remember 1984. I definitely remember going into the voting booth in Massachusetts (not that it would have mattered in the final vote count) and wishing I could somehow emphasize that I was voting for Geraldine Ferraro, a woman. I had tears in my eyes. I do remember that.

And this election, I bet I'll remember. I have pals who are bringing their children into the voting booth with them so they can plant a memory for them. Whoever you plan to vote for--please, go do it. And urge your kids to do it. And urge them to remember. And you know, you vote WILL matter.

DO you remember your first time?

HALLIE: I must have been in NY, and the vote I cast must have been for Eugene McCarthy (I still have a button and a scarf). I remember getting out the vote in Harlem, and how forlorn and sad the headquarters looked as it was clear early on that it would be a rout.

Oh, to live somewhere like Ohio where the result isn't such a foregone conclusion.

ROBERTA: I definitely remember voting in 1972 for the first time. What can I say? I was young and still heavily influenced by my father, who was a lifelong Republican. So that first vote went for Richard Nixon...groan...And worse than that, I went to his inauguration on a bus sponsored by the Young Republicans. We froze our keisters off standing in downtown Washington to watch the parade. Joe Garagiola came along and interviewed me and a pal--I very much doubt I had anything interesting to say!

This current election is stressing me out like crazy. Crazy enough that I'm making calls for my candidate. Yes, those calls I hate to get myself--I'm dialing, I'm dialing! One thing you can say for the Obama machine, their web campaign is incredible. If you need a laugh, feel free to check out my "yak for Barack"--it's a pitiful little rap created in response to one of the campaign's many emails. Let's just say I won't be invited onto Saturday Night Live any time soon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qQPncQgDuI

RO: ACK! I love it! Jungle Red has its own Amy Poehler...you just have to work on your hand moves a little. Did anyone see McCain on SNL this past weekend? I gotta say, he was a good sport. And even the scary Cindy, doing her QVC wrist moves..pretty funny. But it's not making me change my vote.

I don't remember who I voted for first, but I'm pretty sure Bill Clinton is the first presidential candidate I voted for who actually won. (I remember having a McCarthy daisy sticker on my bedroom wall, but I don't think I was able to vote that year.) Like McCain and Obama I have "crossed party lines", but only once and it was a while ago.

I really can't wait for Tuesday. For an election party 4 years ago I made cookies in the shapes of all 50 states (I really do have cookie cutters in the shapes of all the states)and decorated them with red and blue icing. Maybe this year I'll make 44 blue and 6 red.

JAN: I don't remember the first time I voted, but I do know that I've yet to vote for a president that has won. I'm an Independent, a centrist, who reads and listens to both the right and the left. (and I don't think Democrats are any more noble than Republicans. I think any politician you vote for is an incredible leap of faith.)

But as I've been agonizing with my decision --I have read extensively and listened to about every expert on this financial collapse. (I'm obsessed, really) It occurred to me, it doesn't really matter who I vote for -- thanks to the electoral college and the fact that Massachusetts is overwhelmingly Democrat.

But I'll still go vote on Tuesday. As Hank says, it's my civic duty. And even if my vote for president doesn't matter, at least I get a say in the state referendum.

HANK: Yes, Jan, the marijuana question. And no state income tax. (Another blog for another time.) Roberta, you rock! And yes, I saw The McCains, and I thought they were terrific. Shades of Tina Fey, I kept wondering who was playing John McCain, since I was surprised he seemed so at ease.

So, Jungle Red voters--do you remember your first time?