Showing posts with label isolation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label isolation. Show all posts

Sunday, May 31, 2020

Same Tattered Dress--a lament by Rhys Bowen

RHYS BOWEN: Like my Jungle Red sister Jenn I am known as a hummer, or singer. I am not aware of it, but I sing while doing mundane tasks around the house. Years ago a dear friend Meg Chittenden, now sadly no longer with us, pointed out that the tune I am humming or singing is linked to what I am thinking or worrying about. Since she pointed that out I have checked and she is absolutely right. Is that the same for you, Jenn? Or do you just choose random songs to hum?

So this week I was surprised to identify that I was singing Try a Little Tenderness. No, this was not an invitation to my husband! He is being remarkably good at isolation. No complaints there. So why did I start singing it?
Then I came to the line, “She may be weary. Women do get weary, wearing the same tattered dress.”
AHA! Eureka!
I am stuck at our winter home in Arizona. We are never here in the summer, therefore I HAVE NO SUMMER CLOTHES HERE! The only really cool outfits I have are one pair of shorts, a cover-up to wear to the pool and one sundress. I have plenty of sweaters, jackets, heavy slacks even long sleeved T shirts and jeans. But the temperature last week was 104 degrees. I even find that any T shirt with a blend of cotton and polyester makes me feel horrible—sort of clammy.

We are now in our twelfth week of isolation and let me tell you that that pair of shorts and sundress are really losing their appeal! I’ve tried shopping online for more clothes. Confession, I did snag one extra pair of shorts online but they don’t fit me as well as my first pair. I ordered a good-looking culotte sort of thing and when it came it was backless! Since I am not about to go around braless it had to go back.

I’ve seen attractive linen dresses online but when I ordered a couple the delivery date was late June. I sincerely hope to be home in California by then. And frankly I usually avoid ordering clothes online. Even from brands I usually wear, like Chico’s, I find it impossible to know what might fit and what would look good without trying on. So I’ve pretty much given up ordering online. And right now I don’t want the added worry of having to brave the post office to send things back.

I know I shouldn’t care. It’s not as if anybody sees me apart from the three people we pass on our morning walk. I’m certainly not going shopping and I’m not allowed to try on clothes in stores anyway so I guess I’ll have to grin and bear it … and walk around humming “she may be weary…”

So what about you, my dear ones? Do you shop online? Are you tired of your clothes? Have you dared to brave a store yet? What will be the first things you dare to buy when we can shop freely again?

And now for a small commercial. Next Tuesday, June 2, Hank will be reading the first chapter of my book ABOVE THE BAY OF ANGELS for her First Chapter Fun series. I'm excited.

Thursday, May 28, 2020

RHYS THOUGHTS ON ISOLATION

RHYS BOWEN : How many weeks of isolation is it now? Since March 10 for us. Two and a half months. I expect you are getting as tired of it as I am. I really miss the freedom to go out when I feel like it, even if it’s just into Walgreens for a new lipstick. I really miss meeting friends for lunch. Actually I really miss eating out. I’m in Arizona that has now opened up again (unwisely in my opinion) but I don’t intend to eat in a restaurant until my doctor friends tell me that they are doing so!



The weather has now become uncomfortably hot so that outdoor activities have to be limited to early morning or late evening, unless I’m invited to swim in my daughter’s pool—which is a welcome break a couple of times a week. We’ve even dared to eat dinner at her house, sitting outside at a separate table at suitable distance. It felt wonderful.


I know I have little to whine about. I am in a really nice house in beautiful surroundings. We are in a little private community surrounded by mountains. There are palm trees and flowering shrubs everywhere. But I find that life is a constant battle against boredom. I’ve finished and sent off my latest book. I’ve sent out my newsletter. I’ve done endless interviews, podcasts, Zoom bookclub meetings. But the days seem awfully long. We have to take our morning walk before eight or it is unbearably hot. And it’s also too hot to walk before about eight thirty at night. By day I clean the kitchen at least three times.  I answer emails, plot future books, read, play my new keyboard, do some drawing and challenge the computer to Scrabble.

This latter has become a source of pride. I’ve dubbed my computer opponent Ivan since he’s terrible and I’m sure he’s Russian AND he cheats (and yes, I’m sure he’s male too). He seems to give himself the X, Q and Z all too often and if he gives me the Q it’s at the end of the game with no U to go with it!  And he comes up with words that I’m sure are not part of any English dictionary. Yesterday he had grrrl. Now that is not a word! And things like enigbo or swazoodle. (I’m making those up but some are equally ridiculous) But then he denies me perfectly good words that I’m sure must be in any dictionary. He wouldn’t let me have Zen or mitt or even fart the other day. Or even Jew. And yet he had opa and longer, unpronounceable words. I should have written some down except they annoyed me so much. But he doesn’t care if I shout at him. Or accuse him of cheating. He has become my nemesis (and I bet he wouldn’t allow me that word either!). 

However, recently I have begun to beat him. At least once a day. I can’t tell you what satisfaction that gives me. He retaliates, of course. He gives me IIIIEET for my opening letters and himself VOXESTY. I tell him I know he cheats. But it’s all the sweeter when I beat him!

Do you think I’ve finally become unhinged? Have I turned into the equivalent of those prisoners who befriend cockroaches? Or the birdman of Alcatraz? Or inmates of an asylum who chat with Napoleon?

On a more serious note, I find myself thinking about those who have endured real separation and loneliness. Nelson Mandela, for example. Twenty seven years in an island prison and yet he emerged without bitterness, not desiring revenge. That is true greatness.

And what about those women who were part of the Westward movement? Who marched behind covered wagons until they built lonely sod houses. For months on end their world was husband, children and endless prairie. No shops. No TV, probably not even any books except the Bible. And the awful knowledge that if their husband or children injured themselves there was no doctor within reach. That took real strength of character, didn’t it?  And even my mother, saying goodbye to a new husband when she was pregnant with me as he was sent off to North Africa and wouldn’t return for three years. Those women in WWII had to be tough too. They had rationing and the threat of bombing every night and yet they got through it.

So I won’t complain about boredom or not seeing friends. We have the luxury of TV and the internet and the phone. I can Zoom with family and friends. I can binge my way through Britbox. I have one job at the moment and it is to survive. I can get through it. So can we all.

Monday, August 21, 2017

Let's Pretend

 RHYS BOWEN: Who is watching the eclipse right now? Is it as impressive as you thought it would be?  It's a little foggy here so I'm not sure we'll see much, except darkness.

A friend once said to me “Some people hear voices and they are locked up and called insane. Other people hear voices and write them down and are called authors.”

I guess that’s true: I certainly lived in the world of my imagination as a child. I was lonely and cut off for much of my childhood, first living in a house with my grandmother and great aunts and then in a big drafty Victorian in an acre of garden and away from the rest of the village. So I always had to amuse myself. As a small child I had imaginary friends. They were called The Gott Family. (and no, I didn’t know any German) They were four sisters: Gorna Gott, Leure Gott, Googoo Gott and Perambulator Gott. You.’ll see from that that I was a rather strange child. But my excuse is that I didn’t know any real children so I wasn’t up on names.

 The Gott family had to come everywhere with us—shopping, to the park. Places had to be laid for them at table. When I wasn’t playing with the Gott family I played with my grandmother’s buttons. She had a huge box of discarded buttons and these became members of a family, a school, a hospital (the buttons with chips in them were the patients in match boxes and the white buttons were the doctors and nurses).

Later when we moved to our big house I played at being Patsy of the circus on a trapeze I built in our orchard. Oh, and I pretended (or thought) that I was Queen of Swanley (the nearest village). I’d ride around on my bike nodding graciously to people I passed. They must have thought I was batty. (and it turns out my dear friend Louise Penny also thought she was really royal and had been left with peasants!)

In past times in upper class England it was normal for a child to grow up alone in a nursery. I don't think this was healthy in many ways, but it did produce some wonderful imaginations. Just think what we would have missed if Christopher Robin had been sent to pres-school!

So I’m curious about the rest of the Reds. Did you do a lot of pretending when you were small? Did you have an imaginary friend?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  SO funny. My go-to threat to my parents was that if they persisted in doing whatever onerous and unacceptable thing they were doing, like, say, making me go to bed at a "reasonable" time,  they would be  SO SORRY when my  REAL parents, the King and Queen of..somewhere...came to retrieve their long-lost princess daughter. Hey. It could still happen.

We did lots of "shows" wearing crinolines (where did we get those?  Sometimes on our heads so we had long flowing hair. We made up songs and dances, and really practiced. We were amazingly skilled Olympic ice skaters (in socks) on our slick wood hallway. And we were fabulous Olympic gymnasts on the pommel horse (back of the couch) until Mom yelled.  We were big on cowboys, I remember, and...detectives.

I had too many siblings to need imaginary friends. I was more likely to imagine that my siblings disappeared. Just saying.

LUCY BURDETTE: I played nonstop with my older sister (by eleven months, can you imagine?) We had stuffed animals more than dolls. Her favorite was a Dalmatian named Roland, who must have come from the original 101 Dalmatians movie. I sewed her a miniature version of that dog, about 3 inches high and flat, with spots painted on by a magic marker. She called him "Little Rol." And his best friends were my stuffed cats (covered in colored rabbit fur) called Fuzzy Wuzzy, Wuzzy Fuzzy, Queenie, Tangerine, and Licorice. (I know, showing a lack of imagination in a major way!) When we grew older, she might send me Little Rol for company if I was up against something especially challenging. And then I'd send him back. Today we exchange photos of our gray cats, who provide comfort in a similar way. I would show you the original cats, but sadly roaches in Florida ate away all the fur and I finally had to throw them out!

HALLIE EPHRON: Roberta, why am I not surprised that you played with stuffed animals?!?

I did not have imaginary friends. A failure of imagination, I suppose. Not big into dolls or stuffed toys, either. But I liked to play "school" -- my parents got me a chalk board and a little desk, but my younger sister only played along under duress. I had a dear friend, a boy who used to put on plays (I played Wendy to his Peter Pan, Cinderella to his Prince…) and invite the neighborhood. My parents were working still at 20th Century Fox so I got a 'ball gown' from the costume department for Cinderella. I've often wondered how excruciating we must have been to watch.

I loved watching my daughter design elaborate cityscapes on her bedroom floor. No matter how many blocks we bought there were never enough. She's an architect, of course.

JENN MCKINLAY: Rhys, I have not stopped laughing at the name Perambulator Gott. That absolutely made my day! Lucy, like you, I played non-stop with my brother who, again like you and your sister, is eleven months older than me. Irish twins! I was determined to do everything he did and between the two of us, we were cops and robbers, soldiers, veterinarians, archeologists, and then there was an unfortunate Tarzan episode where I was cast as the friendly ape. We did have Tonka trucks, and GI Joe dolls, and I had one girl doll, but I cut off all of her hair so she could keep up with GI Joe. The best part of childhood was making up adventures with my brother. I am ever grateful that I had such a cool sidekick.

INGRID THOFT: I don’t recall any imaginary friends, probably because I had three siblings so I didn’t have to look far for a playmate.  Hallie, your theatrical endeavors reminded me of the shows I use to put on with one of my sisters.  We dressed up as Donny and Marie Osmond and would perform their greatest hits for our parents and grandmother.  My sister was Donny, and I remember wearing a nightgown in my attempt to approximate an evening gown!  It was probably painful and hilarious to watch, but I’m grateful that my parents and Nanny (that’s what we called my grandmother) were such an attentive audience.  We also use to stack encyclopedias (remember those?) in the hallway to make jumps for horses.  The same sister was usually the horse and would carry me on her back.  You might think she got the short end of the stick, but I clearly remember her dressing me up as various things—kind of like Gertie does to E.T.—including one memorable turn as a flight attendant with an ample sock bosom.  Ahhh, siblings!

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Rhys, I was quite isolated, too. My brother is ten years older, and up until I was about six we were in the country with no close neighbors (the suburbs grew around us after that.) I had imaginary friends (sort of), little gnome-like people who lived in a cave in a creek bank near our house. They would invite me to tea. Very Narnia-esque, but of course I wouldn't read those books until a good many years later. I played with stuffed animals, too, for hours on end. And I played with my grandmother's buttons! So funny. How many kids these days get to play with buttons? (Although I have a whole tub of them which I'm sure will come in useful in a year or two around here.)

After I started school, my best friend and I spent days roaming the creek, playing spies and army and Indian trackers. Not very girly girls, I guess, and we never put on plays or musicals, much to my disappointment now, but we did eat a lot of Vienna sausage and Triscuits on our adventures.

I'm going to be laughing over the Gotts for the rest of the day. No wonder you have such fun with the names in the Georgie books.

RHYS:  Yay, Debs. I knew we were kindred spirits. You played with buttons too!
So who else had a pretend-friend and lived in a world of make-believe? These days with all the stress going on in the real world I think a make-believe world to escape to might be rather nice, don't you?