Brand Loyalty

INGRID THOFT
During a recent visit to my mom's house, I grabbed a pen and added something to the grocery list attached to her fridge.  Perusing the list, I could predict exactly which brands she'd purchase because they mirror those on my own list.  Or vice versa, I suppose.  The laundry detergent I purchase is Tide; the butter is Land 'O Lakes; and the paper towels are Bounty.  Are these the best products in their class?  I wouldn't know, I'm so accustomed to pulling them off the shelf having seem them in my childhood home for so many years.

I did have an epiphany a few years ago when I discovered that I prefer regular spaghetti to thin spaghetti!  It had never occurred to me that there even was a regular thickness spaghetti!  Does that mean I'm ready to switch my Tide for All?  Probably not, but they say awareness is the first step to change.  How about you, Reds?  Do you reach for certain products out of muscle memory?

 

JENN MCKINLAY: There is only one brand that I'm attached to that is non-negotiable for me. Mayonnaise. It has to be Hellman's. There is simply no other acceptable brand. Hub tried to bring home Miracle Whip early in our marriage and I threw it right in the garbage. Hellman's is the best. Period. Go ahead -- come at me!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  Oh, Jenn, Miracle Whip is not even real mayonnaise. It's another thing entirely.   Gah. I could never eat that.  Anyway, I'm weird about brand names, too. I've always used Tide--until recently (brand awareness? TV) I tried Persil and Oxiclean, and now I love those. I've used Cascade for years--sometimes I look at other items, but I can never do it. Bounty, yes. Dove soap. Land O Lakes yes. Stonyfield. Saran Wrap. I kind of gravitated to those 1950's looking dish soaps, what're they called?  And the sunflower one smells wonderful. And you know, as much as it could, my mom's grocery cart would've looked just like mine.  I'd love to hear what everyone else says!

RHYS BOWEN: I really wasn't aware what brands my mother used. Food arrived on the table. Clothes came back washed! But I have stuck with Tide, Cascade, Palmolive for years now. One thing I discovered early in marriage was that cheap brands didn't clean as well. Same with toilet paper. It has to be Charmin! But I have switched to local organic milk and yoghurt and don't buy cans of soup any longer ( too much sodium). And my son buys natural cleaners for me every time he comes to my house. ( but I still use Comet and Soft Scrub!)

HALLIE EPHRON: Miracle Whip is to mayonnaise what Dream Whip (Cool Whip) is to cream. Here in New England we have a Cain's mayonnaise. 

I grew up with Lawry's Seasoned Salt and I still use it. Lawry's had a restaurant in LA and that seasoning was what made their roast beef so good. I don't make roast beef, but it's perfect for seasoning a chicken before roasting. Combine salt, pepper, paprika, garlic powder, and of course, sugar, and you get a similar taste... but not. Beyond that we used all kinds of products I wouldn't touch now: Cheez-Its. Wonder Bread. Pancake "syrup." Frozen vegetables. Canned tomato soup.

INGRID: Full disclosure, I still prefer Mrs. Butterworth's to real Vermont maple syrup.  I know, I know.  It's a source of shame, but in my defense...wait, there is no defense.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: You losers can all bite my left toe. Miracle Whip has been clinically proven to be THE BEST and only sad people who have not had the benefit of living in the deep south do not understand the sheer bliss that is a Miracle Whip and fresh tomato sandwich. Mayo is for chicken salad and tuna fish. Miracle Whip is for creating a layer of heaven upon a slice of fluffy bread.
My other must-buy brands: Coke (regular), Arm & Hammer Unscented detergent (for my sensitive-skin offspring). Arm & Hammer Clump 'n Seal Cat Litter. I swear I don't have stock in Arm & Hammer, I just love these products. 

LUCY BURDETTE: I did recently try some earth-kind dishwasher soap and ended up with a load of dirty dishes after the machine ground through its cycle. I decided washing dishes twice wasn't the least bit earth-friendly so I bought some Cascade. sigh. Alpenglow lavender face cream--I bought this in Alaska some years ago and now I MUST have it in stock. Nature's Gate herbal hand lotion. King Arthur flour. Windex. Cottonelle toilet paper. I gave up my mother's Tide and Campbell's soup years ago, but I still feel drawn to their graphics!

DEBORAH CROMBIE:  Miracle Whip will never darken the door at our house. Ditto Cool Whip. And of course the only proper mayonnaise is Hellman's--unless it's homemade. Bounty paper towels. Rhys, I bought Charmin for years until a plumber told us that was what kept clogging up our sewer pipe (It doesn't disintegrate), so now we use Kirkland (Costco) brand and haven't had a stop since. Also Kirkland Eco laundry detergent and Kirkland dishwasher pods and Kirkland tissues. I thought I wasn't very brand loyal until I started noticing things around the house. Dry Idea Unscented Deodorant. Alba Botanica lotion. Pears Soap (I order by the case from Amazon.) And lots of things from Trader Joe's now.

I try to notice what brands I buy in the UK, so that I don't have my characters use something that's not available.

INGRID: Good point, Debs!  I'm sure you would hear about any errors from eagle-eye readers!

What about you?  Do you practice blind brand loyalty?

Going for the gold . . . tiara

HALLIE EPHRON:  Amazing women are competing in this year's Winter Olympics. But there was a time... At the first Winter Olympic Games in 1924 in Chamonix, there were 11 women out of 258 competitors. Women could only compete in figure skating until 1948 when skiing was opened up to them.

But since 1921, it's been women only competing for the title of Miss America. Though I haven't watched for years, my favorite part was always the talent contest. Yes, there were figure skaters. And some of the more memorable talents on display:
 

• In 1959 Miss New York gave a vocal impersonation of Maurice Chevalier. Miss Connecticut gave a speech on fashion designing and tractor driving.
• In 1961 Miss Idaho gave a dramatic reading of "The Yellow Wallpaper" and Miss Connecticut performed a dramatic interpretation of the Sermon on the Mount.
• In 1973 Miss Florida performed a roller skate ballet to Swan Lake.
• In 1987 Miss Massachusetts did a marimba interpretation of Hava Nagila.
• In 2011's Miss Arkansas's performed a yodeling ventriloquism act.

Could you play the marimba? Roller skate to Swan Lake? I cannot do any of the above, and though I like to poke fun at these feats, the truth is I'd have a hard time coming up with a "talent" of my own to perform were I ever, in some alternate universe, a Miss America contestant.

I could:

• Type. Very fast. Like the wind. And yodel at the same time.
• Make mayonnaise. Like magic from egg yolks and oil.
• Twerk ... maybe. Or else it's the Jerk. Or maybe it's the Watusi.

What hidden "talents" could you trot out to compete?

SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL: Oooh, I've always wanted to make homemade mayonnaise, Hallie!

I could:

• Make flaky homemade piecrust. My grandmother taught me.
• Puppeteer (yes, my husband taught me — and Jim Henson and Frank Oz taught him, sooo.....I am not horrible.)
• Drive stick-shift in a blizzard.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: You guys are talented! Here is a non-olympic photo of me on the mountain at Alta (a few, um, years ago), preparing to go down the opposite way from the easiest way. We do not have a photo of me, splatted, soon after. So much for my skiing career.

My skills. I could:

• Sing along to Broadway show tunes, if it was more about knowing all the words, and less about being in tune. My big finish could be to do ALL the parts of the West Side Story "Tonight" quartet: --"A boy like that, he'd keel your brother...." "Oh, no Anita, no... "ToNIGHT, tonight... " "We're gonna rock 'em tonight...) 
• I can cook something out of whatever's in the fridge
• Ah, write for-the-occasion lyrics? (There seems to be a theme here.) Like: "He is the very model of a modern dad and grandpa too, He knows the finest restaurants from Panama to Katmandu..." (I did the whole thing for my Dad's birthday last year.)

Dancing, no. And just a side note--how much more dramatic can the sermon on the mount even be? And I'm not even gonna comment on the tractor/fashion thing.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I am so glad I didn't see the yodeling ventriloquism thing.  Really. NOT even going to think about looking it up on YouTube...

You want to know about my talents?  I can't sing. I can't dance. I can't play an instrument--in fact, my best pal and I got laughed out of the recital at the end of the guitar lessons we took when we were twelve... I can't blow bubbles. I can't whistle. I am not good at any sport.

I can, however, make mayonnaise. (Is there a theme here, Hallie?) I can not only cook something out of most anything in the fridge, but I do a mean clean-up. I can, like our Susan, make a smashing (no pun intended) cocktail. (Somehow I don't think they'd go for the mixologist skills in the Miss American contest...)

And I can, like Hallie, type like the wind, and I can not only yodel and type (how hard can that be?) but I can type while carrying on a conversation about something completely unrelated.  (This skill is honed by spouse talking to you about drains or batteries or something equally interesting while you are trying to write..)

Oh, and I'm a dandy plumber's helper.
RHYS BOWEN: Sorry, can't make mayonnaise (or I probably could, but don't)

Like Hank I can write mean parodies. For John's birthday I did "Gonna tell you a story of a man named John.." and went through his whole life.

But I'm still in stupefied shock about the danced version of the Sermon on the Mount. No, I wouldn't do that, either.

I sing quite well. I spent 10 years in ballet school but I wouldn't dance these days. I play my Celtic harp, but just for my own amusement. When I have to perform, my fingers won't work.

But I do tell good jokes. I'd do a stand up comedian act as my talent, I think.

LUCY BURDETTE: I've seen Hallie type and she is very, very fast. Have not been treated to the yodeling yet...

HALLIE: Be careful what you wish for.

LUCY: I probably could place pretty high in the wearing silly costumes that match your dog's outfit competition.

The zenith of my performance career was a lipsync act to Tammy Wynette's STAND BY YOUR MAN. When the big green felt frog came out to dance with me, we brought down the house. (Believe me, that was the high point of the relationship too.)

John says, such a shame I didn't pursue skiing. I say, but I hate the cold and am afraid of heights and plunges and generally timid so, no.

Oh and PS, I make a mean birthday cake too. Just about any flavor you want...

HALLIE: So, dear readers, what's your talent, and are you ready to go for the gold?