JENN MCKINLAY: At the end of last year, I found that I was in a bit of a funk. If you know me, this is not normal. My family, bless them, noticed and mentioned that I was not as obnoxiously cheerful or enthusiastic as I usually am. They did not seem so much alarmed as relieved but I'll let that slide for now.
I did some thinking about it and realized that I was spiraling into a negative head space and I wasn't enjoying the ride. Usually, I try to be like a duck and let things roll off my back but for some reason I was more like a porcupine and everything was sticking to my quills.
Frankly, being a woman of a certain age, I thought I was just metamorphosing into the classic crabby old lady like my idol Maxine.
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But I think it's more that life has felt heavy on the negative and light on the positive for a reaaaaaaally long time and negativity is highly contagious. I can't tell you how many times I've been in a great mood and then listened to the news, opened social media, or found myself in conversation with a person who was angry, depressed, etc and walked away unable to find my former great mood. Major bummer.
In an effort to reframe these experiences and not get sucked into the negative, I started trying different techniques to stop the negative vibe before it started or divert it in a different direction. Obviously, it's impossible to be happy all the time but that doesn't mean it can't be contained. So here are some of the things I did to break the bummer pattern.
Cognitive Restructuring: Identify and challenge the negative thought. Replace it with a more balanced or positive thought.
Thought Stopping: Consciously say "stop" when a negative thought arises, then shift your focus to something positive.
Mindfulness Meditation: Practice staying present and observing your thoughts without judgment.
Deep Breathing: Use deep, slow breaths to calm your mind and body, reducing the impact of negative thoughts.
Gratitude Journaling: Write down things you're grateful for each day to shift your focus to positive aspects of your life.
Affirmations: Repeat positive affirmations to counter negative self-talk.
Exercise: Engage in physical activities like walking, running, or yoga to boost mood and reduce stress.
Art and Music: Use creative activities to express and transform negative emotions.
Writing: Journal about your thoughts and feelings to gain perspective and clarity.
Limit Negative Media: Reduce exposure to negative news and social media that can contribute to negative thinking.
Did they all work? No. But I found that a combination of the above for any given situation really did help me retain my normally optimistic outlook.
Your turn, Reds and Readers, what do you do to turn off the negative and protect your peace?
