And a one
And a two
And a-
All together now!
Follow the little bouncing ball..
**Mitch Miller
HANK: Last year, about this time, I was deep into revisions. In order to prevent myself from actually working, I decided (as any of us would) to write new words to an old song. The revisions were fine, and now just a fond memory. The book will be out next year, if all goes as planned. But the song? Well, it's almost Christmas day so what better time to do a little Jungle Red caroling!
On the first day of revisions, my editor said to me:
A partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.
On the second day of revisions, my editor said to me:
And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.
On the third day of revisions, my editor said to me:
Try to use some humor
Write a little faster
And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.
On the fourth day of revisions, my editor said to me:
Make your chapters shorter
Try to use some humor
Write a little faster
And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.
On the fifth day of revisions, my editor said to me:
Find a better plot!
Make your chapters shorter
Write a little faster
Try to use some humor
And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.
On the sixth day of revisions, my editor said to me:
Six weeks til deadline
Find a better plot!
Make your chapters shorter
Write a little faster
Try to use some humor
And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.
On the seventh day of revisions, my editor said to me:
Seven chapters bore me
Six weeks til deadline
Find a better plot!
Make your chapters shorter
Write a little faster
Try to use some humor
And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.
On the eighth day of revisions, my editor said to me:
Eight titles vetoed
Seven chapters bore me
Six weeks til deadline
Find a better plot!
Make your chapters shorter
Write a little faster
Try to use some humor
And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.
On the ninth day of revisions, my editor said to me:
Nine new characters needed
Eight titles vetoed
Seven chapters bore me
Six weeks til deadline
Find a better plot!
Make your chapters shorter
Write a little faster
Try to use some humor
And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.
On the tenth day of revisions, my editor said to me:
Ten motivations missing
Nine new characters needed
Eight titles vetoed
Seven chapters bore me
Six weeks til deadline
Find a better plot!
Make your chapters shorter
Write a little faster
Try to use some humor
And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.
On the eleventh day of revisions, my editor said to me:
Eleven conflicts iffy
Ten motivations missing
Nine new characters needed
Eight titles vetoed
Seven chapters bore me
Six weeks til deadline
Find a better plot!
Make your chapters shorter
Write a little faster
Try to use some humor
And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.
On the twelfth day of revisions, my editor said to me:
Twelve months til the sequel
Eleven conflicts iffy
Ten motivations missing
Nine more characters needed
Eight titles vetoed
Seven chapters bore me
Six weeks til deadline
Find a better plot!
Make your chapters shorter
Write a little faster
Try to use some humor
And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.
ROBERTA: Love the song Hank. But I'd still much rather revise than write that dratted first draft!
HANK: Oh, I actually love revisions. Not that you'd know it from the song. But let's see, maybe I should write a first draft song. Or better, a synopsis song.
To the tune of MARIA:
Synopsis!
I still have to write my synopsis
But not one useful word
Or sentence has occured
To me....
Okay, sing along! Anyone??? And Happy Holidays!
