The winner of Liz Milliron's THE TRUTH WE HIDE is Judi (with an i!) Judi, contact juliaspencerfleming at the Google mail to claim your prize!
JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: The big news this week is about the federal backstop to all the deposits at the Silicon Valley Bank. Here's an excellent explainer from Rep. Jeff Jackson:
@jeffjacksonnc Rep. Jeff Jackson (NC): Stopping a bank run #fyp #nc #charlotte #raleigh #greensboro #asheville #durham ♬ original sound - Jeff Jackson
Basically, the cost of extending the FDIC insurance to cover the deposit over $250,000 was less than the potential damage to the economy of letting the start-ups and investors go bust.
Which got me thinking.
There are a number of things in this economy I believe would be much better served by having a federal backstop. Why should a bunch of tech bros and nerds get all the support? Here's my list if important issues that need immediate government attention to keep the economy - okay, my personal economy - functioning.
Candy shrinkflation. There were many exposes this February of the shocking deceptions practiced upon innocent chocolate lovers by manufacturers increasing the molded plastic interiors of their heart-shaped boxes and decreasing the actual number of, you know, chocolates. This practice threatens the very pillars of my economy! When I buy a Family Sized bag of Hershey's kisses, I expect it to be the size of my family, not some measly 10 ounces. The last time I picked up a King-Sized Reeses Peanut Butter cup, it was much more minor royalty sized. Let's get some action on this, Federal Reserve Bank.
Avocados. Remember the horror you felt when the news came out a little over a year ago that a US-Mexican disagreement was going to cut off our precious, life-giving supply of avocados? Never again, friends, never again. I'm calling on the United Nations to begin the process of ratifying a treaty guaranteeing that when I have a hankering for guacamole or grilled cheese with avocado, those tasty green fruits (vegetables?) WILL be in the appropriate bin at my supermarket.
Beach parking. Out of season, I know, but let's face it, this is a perennial issue for those of us living within driving distance of the beach - and since that's 40% of the American population, you can bet we outnumber guys in San Francisco working on apps to provide delivery of a bone whenever your pup noses your phone screen. There are a lot of us. We want to go to the beach. Yet there is never enough parking, especially for those of us who don't pop out of bed at 7am (you know who you are.) There is no reason the Federal Department of Transportation can't ensure plentiful parking by building massive underground lots (we want to be sensitive to the coastal flora and fauna.) Please start in Maine and work your way southward.
Cosmetic companies that stop producing my favorite color lipstick/nail polish. Who would be in charge of this? The FDA? Interstate Commerce Department? Whoever it is, make Revlon bring back Plum Dazzle. It was the perfect shade for me. We don't let pharmaceutical companies just drop life-saving drugs, do we? Well, then.
Phone warranties. We all know the score on these. If you have a one-year warranty, your phone will develop problems after 366 days. If you spring for the three-year extension, you'll crack your screen one week after the third anniversary. I'm just saying - there is a LOT more business happening on America's cell phones than there is at Sun Basket Meal Delivery, which is several hundred million down in the Silicon Valley Bank "ooops!" column. I'm pretty sure the cost of having the FCC pay to fix my ringtone (stuck in a weird beep-beep mode) is going to be significantly less than propping up Sun Basket's ability to keep shoveling out hot honey shrimp over grits.
Library fines. Here I am, participating in the information economy, paying with that oh-so-valuable attention, and if I happen to forget to pop the books in the car for a week or four, I get dinged for it! Forced to pay money that could otherwise go into the marketplace in the form of an order at Dunkin' Donuts or maybe a new bottle of Sally Hanson nail polish (see above.) This terrible drag on the financial system must not stand. I call on the United States Government Publishing Office to make sure there are just, like tons of copies of books available (especially mine) so no library has to enforce state-mandated spending from its patrons.
What do you think, dear readers? Charged up? Ready to write your congressperson? What economic wrongs do you think the Feds ought to put a stop to?
