Will You Answer?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  I had the funniest experience the other day. I talked to someone on the phone. It was a business call, book-related, and his person had called me asking for advice. I’m trying to finish my new book--almost there--and you know, sometimes it feels like I can’t type one more word.

So I wrote to him: wanna talk on the phone? I know. Radical.

But I have to tell you.  We said hi, we talked about what we needed to talk about, done and done and goodbye. End of transaction. I loved it.

But what’s the deal about talking on the phone? I was at a book organization the other day,very hip, and NO ONE was talking. No one. I said--wow, there are 50 desks in here, with people and it is so quiet! And my friend said--yeah, everyone just talks on Slack. They text, even for meetings. And sometimes there’ll be a big burst of laughter in one area of the office, because they’re all in a Slack meeting and laughing at the same thing.

They don't talk? I said.

Nope. And if they want to talk: She led me to another part of the fabulously cool office and showed me phone booths. Seriously. They have phone booths, soundproof little rooms, phone-booth sized, with a little desk and a stool, and they’re all glass. But phone booths.

My interns? At Channel 7? Will not call people. They email. Or text. But talk to someone? In person? Nope nope nope. Anything but that.

From time to time, I adore talking to pals on the phone--it’s fun and fast and you can gauge emotions and connect.  I used to talk on the phone all the time, it was standard, and a thing to do. And I know email is way more efficient, and you can do it at any time that’s convenient, and answer when it's convenient.

 And I do HATE when the phone rings, because it's invasive and annoying and it’s never anyone. And I never answer it.

AH. It used to be such a good thing. We'd WAIT by the phone!  But now--how do you feel about the telephone? 

LUCY BURDETTE: I don’t like the phone ringing either--in fact we’ve dispensed with our landline in Key West so we don’t get daily debt collectors like we used to. (And yes, we pay our bills LOL!) So we have two cell phones and they make it super easy to screen 

spam, telemarketers, or simply folks you don’t want to talk to at that moment. 

The one drawback to everyone having his or her own phone is that you never get someone by happenstance. Like an in-law for example. When my father or my in-laws used to call on the land line, they might get John. They might get me. And that gave either of us a chance to catch up. Now our kids call either John or me, and that’s who they get. And we miss talking to their spouses. See what I mean? 

HALLIE EPHRON: If I call either of my daughters on the phone, first thing they say is “Are you all right??” Panic stricken. So if I call, instead of saying “Hello” I lead with “We’re fine!” If I want to talk I text first and ask if it’s a good time to call. And we never answer our land line because it’s always spam. This is making me remember the hours I spent on the phone as a teenager. And I love to FaceTime with the grands…

DEBORAH CROMBIE: We still have our landline (although it’s actually Internet and only costs something ridiculous like $7 a year. Rick uses it occasionally because he doesn’t have unlimited minutes on his cell phone, but I never do and I’m very irritated when it rings. I don’t answer unfamiliar calls on my cell phone, either. I figure if it’s legit, the person can leave a message and I’ll call them back. I do talk to several friends often and regularly, however. Texting is just no substitute for a conversation, especially with the friends who live in other parts of the country.

RHYS BOWEN: I love talking on the phone! My son, daughters and I talk regularly, usually when they are driving. I talk to my sister in law and friends in UK and my brother in Australia. We have a landline and those calls cost almost nothing. I remember when my phone bill was over $300 a month, calling my mother in Australia. The spam does drive one mad, of course but I sometimes get a good laugh when I’m told the IRS is coming for me or Microft has detected trouble with my computer. (I have a Mac)

I do find myself texting more and more just to ask simple questions. But I rather fear the young will lose the art of conversation.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: We got rid of the landline years ago, when I realized we had four people with four phones (later, five) and the only thing we got on our local, rural land line was call the school. When the power went out - as it frequently did until a few years ago - we'd lose the phone, as well, because it was a modern one run by electricity rather than through the phone line like the old AT&T behemoths.

Do I talk on the phone? I'm not a fan. I have a few friends who are chatty, and we like to catch up via phone, and i talk to my sister (a lot) my brother (occasionally) and my dad (once a week.) But I don't like to sit and talk. I get up, I pace, I wash dishes. And then there are always those people - not YOU, personal friend of mine who might be reading this! - who CANNOT wrap up a conversation. They keep throwing up one topic after another as you say, "Gosh, look at the time."

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I used to have a lot of my phone conversations while I was driving (with a Bluetooth, of course) but lately, I have to admit, I often find it too distracting. If I'm driving at night, if the weather isn't great, if it's an area with which I'm unfamiliar, I can't be on the phone. That's a super old lady move, isn't it?

JENN MCKINLAY: I talk on the phone with my family but that’s about it. They’re on the other side of the country so I prefer talking to texting so I can really gauge how they’re doing. The same for the Hub and the Hooligans - I like to hear their voices. 

Also, if I am working on revisions, I like to talk out the changes with my editor. It’s actually much more efficient to talk through changes than try to email them.

No landline here. I most definitely do not miss sales or political calls. Seriously, lose my number!

HANK: How about you, Reds and readers?

If we call your landline, will you answer?

(And hey--you DO know that in most places, if you call 911 from a cellphone, the dispatcher does NOT know where you are? That's why we keep our landline at home. And that's why dispatchers often now say: "911, WHERE'S your emergency.")