HALLIE EPHRON: We’re putting this together before a contingent of Reds descend on the New England Crime Bake. Debs is guest of honor. The Reds are putting on a game: THE NEWLYREDS GAME. Giving away books… Laughing a lot. Here's the gang revving up.
And, oh by the way (drum roll), we're loaded with good news! Deb’s book A KILLING OF INNOCENTS is among the top 6 highest-rated mysteries on Goodreads for 2023! And Rhys’s THE PROOF OF THE PUDDING: A ROYAL SPYNESS MYSTERY is ranked #1 new release on Amazon for historical mysteries.
For some of us, getting ready for a conference can feel like preparing to get on a roller coaster - you know there will be ups and downs and you won't be alone.
And for those of us who go to conferences regularly, it pays to have learned how to relax in a crowd of people you don’t know. It’s not like that dance in junior high… because everyone is there to meet people.
Here's our advice for anyone who has to mingle with a crowd of folks you don’t know.
#1. Realize that almost everyone is feeling the same anxiety that you are, even if they look like they're having an absolute ball.
#2. Don't be shy. Sidle right up to strangers and introduce yourself. (I usually add something like "I'm not sure if we've met before..." because I"m so terrible at remembering names and faces. Avoid a line like: "Come here often?" which can be misinterpreted.)
HALLIE: So do large gatherings give you joy or palpitations? And what's your advice for having a good time and really meeting people?
Here's our advice for anyone who has to mingle with a crowd of folks you don’t know.
#1. Realize that almost everyone is feeling the same anxiety that you are, even if they look like they're having an absolute ball.
#2. Don't be shy. Sidle right up to strangers and introduce yourself. (I usually add something like "I'm not sure if we've met before..." because I"m so terrible at remembering names and faces. Avoid a line like: "Come here often?" which can be misinterpreted.)
#3. This is the big one. ASK QUESTIONS! And...
#4. BE GENUINELY INTERESTED IN THEIR ANSWERS. As Jean-Luc would say: ENGAGE!
If you’re lucky they’ll ask a question or two about you and lickety split, you’ve found common ground.
What’s your advice for mingling? And, oh, any advice for how to graciously extricate yourself if you need to?
RHYS BOWEN: I wish I were up there mingling with you instead of propping my leg up with ice on it. I think mingling is a skill that has to be learned.
As Hallie said, ask questions. People live to talk about their kids, their own writing, their travels. I always advise people to go up to someone sitting or standing alone. They might be more shy than you are and welcome your friendly approach. I know my first Bouchercon I was so grateful for friendly people.
Enjoy Crimebake. Have fun!
LUCY BURDETTE: I am not a natural mingler in a crowd that I don’t know. (I probably told you how John and I had to be taken around by the hotel manager at a cocktail party for newlyweds on our honeymoon.)
We’ve both improved! The thing to remember is we are all there because we love reading and writing mysteries, so that’s an instant connection. I feel so pleased that I’ll be seeing a lot of old friends this time around, and not just the Reds whom I adore!
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I am a terrible mingler! Terrible. I am terrified and nervous at every moment. And yes, like Rhys, I try to approach someone who is alone, that’s somehow easier for me.
And the other thing I try to remember is that it’s NOT about me me me. Who cares, right? It’s about the other person, and once I remember that, I’m fine..
My extrication? I tell the truth: “Well, I promised myself I was going to mingle, so here I go.” And then I go.
DEBORAH CROMBIE: I think I'm a pretty good mingler. That's probably thanks to my dad, who was the consummate salesman, and could mingle with anyone. He had no trouble striking up conversations with complete strangers!
Hallie's advice is spot on–ask questions, be interested in the other person. As for the extricating, that can be a bit tougher…
JENN MCKINLAY: Every stranger is a friend I haven’t met yet.
I’m a mingler. I can talk to anyone about anything and I genuinely enjoy meeting people and hearing their origin stories - it’s all material!
#4. BE GENUINELY INTERESTED IN THEIR ANSWERS. As Jean-Luc would say: ENGAGE!
If you’re lucky they’ll ask a question or two about you and lickety split, you’ve found common ground.
What’s your advice for mingling? And, oh, any advice for how to graciously extricate yourself if you need to?
RHYS BOWEN: I wish I were up there mingling with you instead of propping my leg up with ice on it. I think mingling is a skill that has to be learned.
As Hallie said, ask questions. People live to talk about their kids, their own writing, their travels. I always advise people to go up to someone sitting or standing alone. They might be more shy than you are and welcome your friendly approach. I know my first Bouchercon I was so grateful for friendly people.
Enjoy Crimebake. Have fun!
LUCY BURDETTE: I am not a natural mingler in a crowd that I don’t know. (I probably told you how John and I had to be taken around by the hotel manager at a cocktail party for newlyweds on our honeymoon.)
We’ve both improved! The thing to remember is we are all there because we love reading and writing mysteries, so that’s an instant connection. I feel so pleased that I’ll be seeing a lot of old friends this time around, and not just the Reds whom I adore!
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I am a terrible mingler! Terrible. I am terrified and nervous at every moment. And yes, like Rhys, I try to approach someone who is alone, that’s somehow easier for me.
And the other thing I try to remember is that it’s NOT about me me me. Who cares, right? It’s about the other person, and once I remember that, I’m fine..
My extrication? I tell the truth: “Well, I promised myself I was going to mingle, so here I go.” And then I go.
DEBORAH CROMBIE: I think I'm a pretty good mingler. That's probably thanks to my dad, who was the consummate salesman, and could mingle with anyone. He had no trouble striking up conversations with complete strangers!
Hallie's advice is spot on–ask questions, be interested in the other person. As for the extricating, that can be a bit tougher…
JENN MCKINLAY: Every stranger is a friend I haven’t met yet.
I’m a mingler. I can talk to anyone about anything and I genuinely enjoy meeting people and hearing their origin stories - it’s all material!
Very rarely do I need to escape, but when I do I usually just excuse myself to get a cup of coffee, use the restroom, or whatever exit presents itself.
HALLIE: So do large gatherings give you joy or palpitations? And what's your advice for having a good time and really meeting people?
