Repeat after me: IN STOCK!

For days after my first book was published I carried it about in my pocket, and took surreptitious peeps at it to make sure that the ink had not faded.
...Sir James M. Barrie

HALLIE: There are those moments, though admittedly few and far between, when you realize that this crazy career is not all smoke and mirrors...

When you cash the check for the advance.
When you get a gander at the book cover.
The first time you hold a copy of your book in your hot little hands.
When you go to a bookstore and actually seeing it on display in the window!

When you're riding on a train (or subway or airplane or...) and there's an actual person, reading your book!
When I see that book you've written for sale on the rack at...not a bookstore, but BJ's!
Or when your daughter calls you from the Dallas airport to say the book is right there, in the airport book stand.

And then there's that moment like today I went to Amazon to see what was up with my new book, 1001 Books for Every Mood (official pub date some time in May) and there it was, IN STOCK! And suddenly what seemed ephemeral feels real.

It's a little like having a baby...because for months you don't think anything is happening other than that you're getting very fat. At least your book will not throw up all over you.

What moments make your journeys feel real?

On Laundry

“After enlightenment, the laundry.” Zen Proverb

JAN: I have a good friend who must do laundry every morning because she can't stand the smell of dirty laundry accumulating in her hamper.

I have another good friend who launders her towels after every single use because the idea of them drying on the towel rack illicits frightening fears of mold.

Me? I'm always somewhat surprised that there is any laundry. I did it last week, didn't I? I always feel that I've been hoodwinked, swindled even, to find that its back again, demanding attention.

In fact, until I learned of my friend's hypersensitivity, I wasn't even aware that dirty laundry sitting in a bedroom hamper smelled bad. Certainly not if you keep the top closed and walk past really fast - which is advisable, anyway, if you are trying to ignore it.

I'm one of those people who forgets about the laundry until it's undeniable that the hamper lid isn't going to shut anymore. Then, I engage in what I call the laundry festival. I do about five or six non-stop loads of laundry, and feel a sense of accomplishment as the sorted mounds of dirty clothes on the kitchen floor slowly disappear.

Some might call me a procrastinater, but I like to think that I prefer the satisfaction of solving the major disaster of backed-up laundry, over the minor challenge of keeping up with it.

But I also think it's the way I write my books. As Hallie can testify, my chapters are a complete mess up until the very end. When I'm focusing on plot, I can't pay attention to double periods or typos. Half the time I don't even see the errors or realize I've switched tenses. I clean up my book in one big laundry festival at the end.

So my question is this: Are there any everyday task metaphors that mirror your writing style? If we are what we eat, are we also what we fold and put away?

ROBERTA: I love doing laundry. It's such a small job with a satisfying reward--neat stacks of clean clothes instead of a big messy, smelly pile. (And by the way, Jan, if you keep the hamper in your husband's closet, your smell problem could be solved!) Unfortunately, though clean laundry is necessary and it feels good to have it done, tackling it doesn't solve my major household/life organization problems.

My writing style mimics this problem exactly. Once I have a couple of pages written (that's the pile of dirty clothes,) I'd much rather go back over those, tweaking and reworking each word, than forge on ahead. Rewriting gives me the same satisfaction as folding clean clothes and putting them away. But it's not the answer to my bigger problem: advancing the book.

HALLIE: Ah, laundry. Ever since I turned my husband's underwear pink...for the third time...he does his own. And I have no idea how that black crayon got into the sheet wash. Since then he's taken over laundering sheets and towels, too. My daughter Naomi comes home to do her laundry and prohibits me from taking it out of the drier because, according to her, I can't fold. She's right. I'm just not a stacker or a folder or a neatener-up. I tolerate mess and untidiness up to a point, and then I have a straightening melt down. It's ugly.

For me, the laundry of writing is outlining. I can go along happily and haphazardly writing (aka making a mess)up to a point, but when I feel the book veering out of control, I revise my outline to see where I am...then hack away at my overgrown manuscript until it conforms to some kind of order.

RO: Uh, I don't do the laundry very often. My cleaning lady does it. Now if only I could get her to write the books too, then she'd really be worth the dough I pay her.

So maybe the best metaphor for me is cleaning out my closets - I do occasionally throw stuff out, sometimes boxes of it, but more likely I will agonize over every article of clothing I own, relive the good or bad times I had in it, and then decide whether or not it gets another shot or goes in the Goodwill bag. Lots of things go to the back of the closet to be resurrected again at a later date. Pretty much the same with my editing process.

HANK: Writing has competely changed my connection with laundry. Now, my husband does it. Yes, he does, and I'm sure it's out of sheer self preservation. Because I'd be at the computer saying--yes, I'll do it in just a sec. Really, honey, just let me finish this one part...then of course, hours later, no laundry.

He's great it at, which I think is adorable. Since he's not really the laundry type. But I always fold. ( Eventually. And, to be honest, I fold everything except the fitted sheets which I know were designed to drive people into a rage. Those I kind of...wrap.)

Anyway--you know what I LOVE? Ironing. Even though I hardly ever do it anymore. And maybe that's the perfectionist in me. In writing, I love that final edit process, where you get to find the kinks and wrinkles and glitches, and smooth everything out until it looks beautiful.

JAN: In the rare instances that I do it I also find an odd satisfaction in ironing. But but no real love. Similarly, while I'm not really crazy about the final edit process. there is something comforting about it. If only because the worst is over....the heavy lifting/laundry is done!

ON THE NEWS

"All the news that fits, we print."

MAD Magazine, c.1964

As befitting 'anything can happen' Friday, and Hank's role as reporter, here's some interesting stuff you might not have heard:

This news release arrived from the crayon people! I was transported, remembering the fragrance of a new box of crayons, how careful we were to keep the points perfect, and save our favorite colors (burnt sienna and black, surprise surprise) And it looks like they have come out with some new super-sharpener . Wonder if it makes those points with a little ledge around the edge. Remember? I'll spare you all the details, but here's the best parts:

Crayola 64 Box Turns 50
To Celebrate, Eight New "Kids Choice Colors" Debut in Iconic Box
EASTON, Pa)--

An American classic, the Crayola 64 Box is turning the big 5-0 and Crayola has gone a bit "radical red" to mark the golden moment. That famous box with the built-in sharpener that debuted in 1958 and became home to colors like burnt sienna and cornflower has undergone an extreme color makeover for its fiftieth, to reflect the color preferences of today’s kids.

Just like professional color experts who predict the year’s hot hues; kids across the country had the chance to voice their own opinion and pick the colors they felt were "in" for 2008...

they ...zoomed in on the shade within each color family (red, blue, green, yellow, brown, pink, orange and purple) that they felt was the coolest. The result? A collection of eight colors was created that draw on everything from kids wanting to play their part in protecting the planet to believing that they can become famous just like the everyday people who achieve stardom on reality shows.

The 2008 "Kids Choice Colors" include:
"super happy" -- kids don’t want to worry, they just want to be happy -- "super happy" -- as their color says and they wish the same for others, too;

"fun in the sun" -- riding bikes, playing soccer, skateboarding, and gymnastics – kids said this color means exercise and keeping fit are important … and fun!;

"giving tree" -- it’s a colorful truth that kids are thinking green, too, and want to play a part in protecting the Earth;

"bear hug" -- a hue of harmony as kids want their homes to feel warm and loving just like a great big bear hug;

"awesome" -- means kids think school is cool and getting good grades feels awesome;

"happy ever after" -- kids want to make a difference and create Cinderella moments for others, so everyone’s story has a happy ending;

"famous" -- American Idol and shows like it inspired this hue, as kids believe they can become celebrities just like everyday people who become stars;

"best friends" -- this shade of purple reveals who kids’ real BFFs are – their parents – and spending time with them is what they enjoy most.

(Hank interrupting: Hang on a second here. Imagine the conversation:

Mother: "What color do you want to make the sun, Billy?

Billy: Oh, Mummy, lets make it awesome.

Mummy: Of course, honey, it is awesome! And it's 93 million miles from the earth. But here's a drawing of it in your coloring book, sweetheart. What color shall we make it?

Billy: I said, awesome.

Mother: But, sweetheart, awesome is not a color. How about a nice sunny yellow?

Billy: AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!

Mother: I agree, Billy, and here it is.

Billy: NO! I said AWESOME.

(throws box of crayons)

Mother: Billy! You need a time out!

Billy: What color is that?

Okay, back to the press release.)

Each of these new hues introduced to celebrate 50 years of the Crayola 64 Box can be found inside the limited-edition 50th Birthday box, which features the new "perfect tip sharpener" that puts a perfect point on any worn down crayon so that it looks just like the original.

CRAYON QUIZ!!! (There was a whole paragraph of crayon lore in the release, but let's just see how much you know:)

An American cultural icon, the Crayola 64 Box made its debut in (what year??) on the "(What TV SHOW?)"

The 12.8 billion crayons inside would circle the earth HOW MANY times.

The most popular color inside the Crayola 64 Box is : WHAT COLOR?

Where else but Jungle Red could you hear this stuff?