Replacements

ROSEMARY: No, not the very funny Keanu Reeves/Gene Hackman movie about a ragtag substitute football team - Replacements, the tiny ad that's been running in The New Yorker magazine and probably a dozen other places for as long as I can remember. They claim to have or can get the soup tureen that went with your grandmother's china pattern, the ladle she probably used and just about anything else in any china or silver pattern ever made. And last year on the Unarmed but Dangerous tour we went to their physical store, somewhere in North Carolina. It was heaven.

In the last decade or so, I have come out of the china cabinet. The same habits I mocked my mother for have emerged full-blown in me. More sets of china than anyone not living at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue needs. Espresso sets. At least five soup tureens. Ten or twelve platters, not including the little ones you can see in this pic. Fiestaware. Serving pieces that look like fruits and vegetables. (You may notice I also own 2 Bob's Big Boy Bobbleheads. What can I say, I'm an equal opportunity collector.)

My particular addictions are patterns with flowers or birds. When I got married I registered for the Tiffany Audubon pattern (china and silver) and it's so beautiful that I almost never use it. Instead I started collecting similar patterns on ebay and at tag sales. Slowly. I didn't realize I was starting a collection, I just thought..."that's pretty."

No wonder I liked it. looks a lot like something I already own.

The Salvation Army has been a really good source. I found a Syracuse China pattern that I loved (think it's Bombay Old Ivory) so I spent months collecting it online. I will never feed that many people at once but it pleases me to look at it all in one of the three china cabinets (and massive credenza.)

There must be a name for this affliction - stocking up for the enormous tea party in one's mind. And every time I try to use one of these teapots - yes..just me, the tray, the tea and a few biscuits on a pretty one of a kind plate - so civilized - the tea gets so cold.

I have resisted the urge to troll through the Replacements catalog and look for mates to all of the one of a kind pieces I have. It's so much more fun to stumble upon them serendipitously. What does my husband think? He just wants to know why we always have dinner on the plain white dishes from Pier 1.

In my mind I'm going to Carolina

ROSEMARY: Actually, I'm not just going in my mind, I'm going in an American Airlines big old plane - don't ask what kind, I never know - and I'm going with Stefanie Pintoff and Jane Cleland. We are embarking on Molly Weston's 2011 Ladies on the Lam Tour.

And Molly, who one day will officially be anointed the patron saint of mystery writers, does an amazing job keeping our dance cards full with appearances at libraries, bookstores, cultural centers and women's groups with the occasional side trip to Replacements (more on that tomorrow for the china and tea set lovers) and the wonderful daylily farm that she and her husband own. This year we'll also be visiting the exclusive Carolina Club.

Last year I was lucky enough to be a part of Molly's Unarmed But Dangerous tour with Elaine Viets, Donna Andrews and Meredith Cole. Roberta mentioned that it's good to tour with other people and I've been very fortunate to have toured with some of the most generous, most fun people in the mystery community.

BTW there really is a James Taylor Bridge in North Carolina and apparently the sign keeps getting stolen.

Ladies on the Lam will be an opportunity to speak to hundreds of readers (always good) but even more important it will be an opportunity to bond with other writers, drink sweet tea, eat fried okra and pimento cheese (I'm still not sure what's in it) and talk books. For three years it's been one of the highlights of my book tour - last year's dinner at Margaret Maron's will be hard to top but I know Molly will try!

What have your most memorable tour experiences been? And who would be on your fantasy tour?

Oh, to be torn twixt love and duty

ROSEMARY: I guess I'm in a musical mood this week. I was going to call this post "It's procrastination, I know..." (please sing to the tune of "It was fascination, I know...") but this line from a favorite song is even more appropriate.

Sunday I moved containers around the house - should the odd-numbered assortments all have the same color pots or should I mix the terracotta and the stone? Can't tell until you've moved them all, can ya? Yesterday, I spent twenty minutes trying to fish a frog out of my pool because I was convinced he'd die from chlorine poisoning if I didn't. Of course I've been getting up at 5AM to watch the French Open live because it's just not the same thing to watch it on a tape delay.

All this in the same week that I have a pile of work to do.

I've always been a crammer. Tests, papers. I seem to like the heightened energy that comes from the ticking clock ala High Noon. Remember that movie - where Gary Cooper only has an hour to get ready before Frank Miller and his boys come after him? And he should be leaving on his honeymoon with Grace Kelly. Oh, to be torn twixt love and duty.

But I'm always torn twixt love and duty. I want to take a walk with my husband and dog, not really go over my last set of edits - again. like Guido Contini in Nine, I want to be here, but I want to be there.

So I indulge myself and then stay up until the wee hours doing the thing I should have done during working hours like normal people.

JAN: Sure the French Open is the same if you watch it at night. As long as you ignore the news all day, and the little ticker tape thing along the bottom that tells you who has won so far. But back to procrastination (I'm even putting off addressing procrastination, how's that for procrastination?) as a journalist, I was bred on that insane-adrenaline thing you get when trying to make a deadline, so my preferred method of procrastination is to delay the really important stuff and concentrate on the irrelevant details.

And for the record, Ro, I don't think that procrastination on the weekends counts as procrastination. Only WORK WEEK procrastination counts in my rulebook.

HANK: My procrastination is doing little things. Need to close the closet door--but Oh, I'd better put all the short-sleeved tee-shirts hanging in there together. Maybe I should check the white ones to see if they're getting dingy. Weren't there other tee-shirts upstairs? Whoa, I forgot I had those shoes upstairs to take to the shoe guy. So I don't forget, I'll put them by the dining room door . Oh, gosh, the dining room table has all those papers on it I was supposed to file. I'd better do that. Wow, look at these files! They're so out of order. I'd better organize a bit. Awww...look at this card from my grandson Elijah, I haven't talked to him for a while. I'd better go call....

What's your favorite
method of procrastination?