Breaking News!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  Coming to you from the fabulous Midwest Writers Workshop in Muncie Indiana! Gave the keynote speech..here's the audience..and still floating from the wonderful response. If you ever get a chance to go--it's wonderful.

Okay, Reds, time to check  in! What are you up to this coming week?

I've got a great story on TV Monday night--about rats (Wait til you see the pictures!) in a certain apartment building. Guess who the landlord is?



My smiling face is on the cover of the new RT BookReviews Magazine, how cool is that? And The Wrong Girl got 4 1/2 stars--the same rating as Sue Grafton and Lee Child. :-)

Only a short time til THE WRONG GIRL comes out in hardcover--Sept. 10--very exciting!

And THE OTHER WOMAN is out in paperback! If you haven't entered my contest to win a Nook, Kindle or $$ to a bookstore of your choice, here's the link!
 http://bit.ly/15BngW1

And starting Friday, I'll be hanging out with Ro, Brad Parks, Jane Cleland, and a host of others--as Guest of Honor at the Deadly Ink conference! It's my first DI, and I'm very excited.

Reds and friends of Reds, what's up with you for the next week?

LUCY BURDETTE: My gosh Hank, I get dizzy just reading about what you're up to! I'm waiting for edits on MURDER WITH GANACHE (coming in February)--which should arrive in my inbox on Monday. It's been nice to have a break from the story--I had one good, new idea, but not sure I'll have time to work it into the manuscript. But meanwhile, it's available for pre-order. I have to say, the cover is adorable! 


RHYS BOWEN: I'm also breathless just thinking about your schedule, Hank. A different city every weekend, all those flights and airport security... eeek.
I'll be catching my breath after the Book Passage Mystery conference, enjoying time with my family visiting from Phoenix. We plan a hike to Arch Rock in Point Reyes. it's 9 and a half miles so I'm hoping I'm up to it. Also Exploratorium with kids, ballet tomorrow and lots of high energy in the house. Oh, and I do have a deadline and a Jungle Red blog so I'll need to squeeze in some work. 


And I've just remembered a launch of Heirs and Graces the week after. How could I forget that?

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Indeed, Rhys, how could you forget that!!! We haven't!

I am writing. Or should that be #IamWriting... Trying to settle into a good routine after lots of stuff going on this summer; work on the house, a wonderful visit from my brother, my daughter's engagement and the craziness of wedding planning. 

The Sound of Broken Glass came out this month in Germany and is doing very well, I think.

As for upcoming events, I'll be at the Hardesty Library in Tulsa on September 6th, then Bouchercon in Albany, NY, from September 18th-22nd.  And the weekend after that, MY DAUGHTER IS GETTING MARRIED!!!  

Then it's back to work for me on the newest (#16) Duncan Kincaid and Gemma James book, To Dwell in Darkness. It's due to my publisher in November and should be out sometime in 2014.

HALLIE EPHRON: I'm writing writing writing. Working title: Night night, sleep tight. Set in Beverly Hills in 1965 and 1985. I'm having a lot of fun with it.

And busy with events. On August 5 I'm on Nantucket teaching a crash course on mystery writing in the morning and giving a book talk in the evening at the Atheneum. The the Duxbury Library on August 8, and really looking forward to speaking at the Green Brook Country Club Book Club Luncheon in North Caldwell, NJ on August 21. Lots more to follow.

HANK: Pals I met at MWW13 also have books coming out very soon--the incredibly talented John Gilstrap's new thriller HIGH TREASON is out August 1..Suspense Magazine says  "This is the fifth book in the Jonathan Grave series and very possibly the best." (The First Lady is kidnapped. There's the definition of a terrific hook for you!) 

And the fascinating DE Johnson's evocative and original mystery DETROIT SHUFFLE-- set in corrupt Detroit in 1910 during the battle over women's suffrage--is out September 3--"Johnson’s immaculate plotting and high-tension writing make for a spellbinding read!"  (He is a wonderful writer!)





And don't forget our Rosemary's THE B*TCHES OF BROOKLYN is now available as an ebook!

HANK: So Reds, what's up with you? Check in, please!

BREAKING NEWS - CONGRATS TO HANK AND RHYS ON THEIR AGATHA NOMINATIONS!!!

BEST NOVEL 
THE OTHER WOMAN - HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN
BEST HISTORICAL NOVEL
THE TWELVE CLUES OF CHRISTMAS - RHYS BOWEN
WELL DONE, LADIES!!!


IT'S OFFICIAL, I'M TURNING INTO MY MOTHER...

ROSEMARY HARRIS: I cannot tell a lie, I saw this heading on another blog. The content is not the same (and we all know you can't copyright a title) but props to Jenny From The Blog for giving me the idea.
Not having kids, this isn't about repeating mom phrases like - "You'll shoot your eye out" or "your face will freeze like that." In our home the most popular one had to do with the Brooklyn Bridge. But I can remember looking around our Brooklyn apartment and thinking "why does she need all this STUFF??"
Lo and behold, I find myself collecting lots of the same stuff my mother collected. China. Linens. More vases, gloves and scarves than anyone really needs.
I bake the same holiday treats - struffoli - that she did.
And I have an embarassing fondness for things with my name on them "It's a pot with the word Rosemary on it...I should buy it!" Somewhere Mom is smiling and saying "I told you so."
 
So Reds - we know all of our mothers were wonderful, this is not about work ethic, joie de vivre or smarts - have you picked up any goofy, silly, surprising habits or traits from your mothers?

HALLIE EPHRON: My mother loved words -- she'd recite poetry after dinner (Edward Arlington Robinson "Miniver Cheevy, child of scorn..." and Vachel Lindsay "Then I saw the Congo, creeping through the black..." and Edna Millay "My candle burns at both ends, it will not last the night; But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends - it gives a lovely light...). Words were dessert.
She was also bossy and opinionated and loved food (sound familiar?) She didn't cook, clean, or collect, and she hated to shop unless it was at a used bookstore. She had a dark side, too, all which I write about in a piece called "Growing Up Ephron" that's runs in the March issue of "O" Magazine -- on the shelf 2/12!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: And a fabulous piece it is, Hallie!
My mom--stylish, artistic, opinionated. No cleaning, no cooking--well, when we were kids, I guess, but not later. Hmmm. She had SO MANY CLOTHES. Hmmm. And oh, she would sing snippets of songs when she heard part of the lyrics. "Why look so awfully gloomy?.." Now, sadly, I do, too. 

She was incredibly critical. I mean--incredibly.
HANK (a few years ago) Mom! I won another Emmy!
MOM (pauses) Oh, honey, do you still care about that stuff?
I'm pretty critical, too...but I try to keep quiet about it.
But she used to talk to the checkout people at the grocery, which embarrassed the heck out of me. Now I do it, too. And she'd just comment to strangers who are shopping--"oh, that looks terrific." I DIED when she did it. Now, I do too--and can't believe someone wouldn't be fascinated by my opinion.
Here's her wedding photo, circa 1948.
Am I my mother? Oh, yes, indeedy. Sometimes I look in the mirror and flinch in surprise.

RHYS BOWEN: Hank, did we have the same mother? Mine was a school principal and tough and unsympathetic.
Me: I didn't get that part in the school play that I wanted.
Mother: What a stupid thing to care about. As if a play matters.
It did to me...
So I made a supreme effort always to be supportive to my kids when it came to making teams, being asked to dances etc because they did matter.
So I would have thought that I was nothing like my mom. And yet... yikes, I'm starting to look like her. And she loved to shop and had hundreds of purses and I'm starting to gravitate to the purses in Macy's.
Strangely enough when she retired and got old we became great friends and laughed at the same things. And she talked to her dog in baby talk, something she never did to me. And I find myself using exactly the same words to talk to my daughter's dog.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: My mom was a fusser and a "fixer." Always worrying about everyone's diets and health. I say "was" because although she will be 92 on Monday, the 11th, she's suffered from Alzheimer's for a good few years now. So every time I worry that my daughter is too thin or that my hubby eats too much junk food when I'm out of town, I pinch myself. Stop that!
And oh, the lists! She wrote everything down, notes and lists constantly on every scrap of paper. Now, of course, I understand why. And I'm doing it, too. My to-do list, my grocery list... I can't function without them. Very scary.
The photo is from Thanksgiving, 2010, when she was a little more alert than she is now. The three generations; mother, daughter, granddaughter.

LUCY BURDETTE: My mother has been gone longer than I knew her--that's kind of weird. She had four of us kids and a job teaching grade school. So when she got home, she'd retreat to her bedroom with a snack and a book to get some space. I definitely got the "need for space" gene too. And there's no better place to get it than bed.
She was absolutely pet mad and every one of us kids picked that trait up too. Like her, we haul our pets around the country because we can't bear to be without them. Of course Tonka comes to Key West, but now the cat has been added to the travel team, much to John's dismay.
I may have already told you this, but her famous sex education talk with me went like this: "Some day you'll feel about a man the way you do about the cat."
John is still waiting.
By the way, Hayley Snow's mother is named Janet, just like mine.
 
ROSEMARY: Sex education...that's a whole other blog post! On that note...
 

If You Hadn't Married Harry...

HALLIE EPHRON: My man went to work the other day carrying an empty wine bottle and telephone wire. He teaches physics and the bottle and wire were 'equipment' for a lab he was teaching. He also had his binoculars, just in case a woodpecker he'd heard but not seen from his office showed up again.

I know if I hadn't married him, I wouldn't be such a good cook (because he's such a great eater). I wouldn't be an adventurous traveler and birder. I definitely wouldn't know a thing about baseball, which this year I'm sorry I did (oy vey, those Red Sox).

So what about you, Reds -- if you hadn't married Harry, how would you have been (for better and for worse, richer and poorer, saner and...)?

LUCY BURDETTE: Oh I love that snapshot you drew of Jerry! John just went off to the salt mines (tennis courts) with a backpack full of balls and rackets, wraps on both aging knees, and a bike helmet. Looking like he was 12 years old, which is the way he feels...

I don't even know if I'd have been a writer without him. Which means I wouldn't know any of you! Because my career began with trying to figure out what to do with too much time spent playing bad golf. And the only reason I set foot on the golf course was because I'd fallen for him...

Maybe I would have come to it from another angle, but maybe not. Great question Hallie!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Well, Jonathan just went off to  work with a big leather briefcase, a tiny container of raspberries to put on his Cheerios at his desk, and the goal to finish his brief in which he's representing a guy who has confessed to five murders. The interesting part about that being that it was impossible that he actually committed any of them.

So, sisters, I have lucked into a primo source of mystery plots, as well as in-house counsel and Thursday night cook. (And you know we met when I was feeling particularly bleak about life.)

If I hadn't married Jonathan? Oh, I would not have had this success as a writer, I KNOW that, he's so patient and so encouraging and so enthusiastic (and such a good chauffeur.) Would not have had step-kids and grandchildren--can't beat that!  (Oh, Lucy, the only reason you set foot on a golf course was because of John? That's FABULOUS.)  I love it when the world works.

JAN BROGAN: Bill is an entrepreneur and a risk taker. If it weren't for him, I would never have set foot in a sailboat and weathered some of the conditions that I did.  I  would never have developed this fascination I have for the wives who went on three to four year whaling voyages with their husbands - which is the historical novel I'm working on.  He has also been my go-to guy with pretty much any scene I've ever written involving either a lot of action or equipment. 

He doesn't drive me anywhere, but he can and does fix any computer glitch I have, and believe me, there are A LOT of them.

RHYS BOWEN: Interesting.... I just watched Letters to Juliet with my daughter and she asked if I had any lost love I'd want to find again. I decided that I don't regret parting with any of my former loves. There's certainly no one I'd go in search of again.

John has given me the ability to travel all over the world, taught me how to make curries, and best of all attached me to a family full of weird and wonderful characters for my Royal Spyness books.

And I would never have had those four wonderful, funny, talented children and those delightful grandchildren with whom I've been laughing and playing over Christmas.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Rhys, I did marry my lost love (Long story short: next door neighbors, teenage sweethearts. After seven years together we went our separate ways. He introduced me to my Scottish first husband. A good many years and a divorce later, we got back together. We'll be celebrating our nineteenth anniversary in May. Eeek.)

If I wasn't married to Rick, I'd probably be writing my books on a legal pad:-) He's fixed every computer problem, helped me figure out how to murder countless people in nefarious ways, and has NOT made me a better cook--although I have perhaps made him a slightly less picky eater.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I agree, Rhys - the first thing I think of when I think of marrying Ross are our children. I mean, I would have had kids if I had married someone else, but they wouldn't be the weird, wonderful, tight-knit Hugo-Vidals.

I, too, have to say I probably wouldn't have a writing career if I had married one of those other guys, because my young lawyer husband was the first man I dated who has his feet on the ground, money in the retirement account, and his shoulder to the wheel. I suspect if I had gotten hitched to one of those impulsive, artistic, impoverished men I dated before Ross, I would have had to be the sensible, benefit-carrying, money-earning one in the marriage. Ross's practicality, organizational skills, and ability to plan ahead freed me to be the creative dreamer in our partnership.

Plus? He bakes pies. Really, who can ask for more?

ROSEMARY HARRIS: This reminds me of the scene in It's A Wonderful Life where George Bailey sees what life would have been like in Pottersville (not Bedford Falls) if he hadn't lived.

I'd be an eccentric, single woman with cats. I'm convinced no one else could ever put up with me and I've gotten bored with every other man I've ever met after 2-3 months.

I'd probably have done everything else the same but without my best pal, staunchest supporter and the best travel companion on the planet. So it would all be...less. Gee...I really have had a wonderful life!

HALLIE: And there you have it. We are a pretty contented lot.

What about you? What would be different if you hadn't (or had) "married Harry"?

Are appliances the new handbags?

ROSEMARY HARRIS: If you blindfolded me in my own kitchen I could not tell you what brand of refrigerator, stove or microwave I have. The only reason I know I have a Bosch dishwasher is because I hate it and I'm about to replace it and its fellow appliances. And I have been drawn into uncharted territory.

First off, who knew these #$%^ things were so expensive? I certainly didn't. Like airline tickets, I think they all should be under $1000. You can stop laughing now.

Apparently August is a good month to buy. There are lots of sales and they like it if you buy a bunch of appliances at the same time. After all, one salesman told me, "you want them to go." I had never given much thought to whether or not my appliances "went." One got food cold, the other got food hot. That was pretty much all I asked of my appliances.
Suddenly I found myself eyeing a stainless steel Viking as big and slick as an Airstream. Talk about sticker shock. I recognized a few of the other names and had a general sense of where they were in the appliance pantheon, but dang...who knew there were $15,000 refrigerators? And why? Other than size, cold is cold, right?

I thought it all faintly ridiculous until Alberto, the installer came to measure the weird (of course) space where the fridge went. "It's not standard, but we can shave the cabinets. You could fit a SubZero in here." Who said I wanted one of those? And then I felt it. The twinge of..what...appliance angst? Pride in my porcelain? Was my self-worth tied to my SubZero?

Will someone please stop me before I buy the Wolf stove or the Northland custom side by side?

JAN BROGAN: Having once fallen for the expensive Meile dishwasher - because it had a hard water filter I thought I needed -  I can tell you, it's a waste of money. It was designed for small little German plates and cups and you couldn't fit anything in it. I hated that thing so much I pulled it after five years and am happy to be back with Kitchen Aid or whatever low-rent brand I actually have.
It's all about status. Especially the subZero thing. We all fall for some kind of status whether we want to believe it or not, but I choose not to fall for the appliance one - it feels so housewifey.  Don't believe the resale argument either. We were looking at various condos we wanted to buy and as the real estate agent was pointing out the Subzero refrigerator, I was thinking GOD I WOULD NEVER HAVE THAT THING IN MY HOUSE.  (Mostly because it had clear see through doors and who wants to see what's inside your refrigerator ALL THE TIME.) 

HALLIE EPHRON: We buy the cheapest appliances and are never disappointed :-) -- When we went to our local appliance store, which was roughly the size of Rhode Island, to replace our stove, EVERY STOVE in the showroom was $2,000 or more. My budget was, ahem, a LOT less.
So I asked the sales guy What's the deal? All I want is four burners and an oven. He led me to a door in the back corner of the showroom (really), opened it, and VOILA there was another football-field's worth of appliances. Felt like I'd stepped through the wardrobe in the Lion, the Witch... A sea of white, all white, basic, and priced at hundreds not thousands.
As you all know, I LOVE to cook, but seriously. How many of those fancy "features" do you actually use? AND magnets don't stick to stainless steel.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: If you saw our appliances, you would laugh. They are from the dark ages.  Jonathan keeps saying--don't you want a new oven? The broiler only works intermittently and the oven is unreliable and so coated with decades of stuff that it would take a blaster furnace to clean it. (Its not really that bad, I HAVE cleaned it. But it's not a gleaming paradise.)
But I keep saying no. I love our oven. Why? It's red, from the fifties, maybe, and how cool is that?
Our stove is an equally unreliable gas thing that I have to keep making sure still has a lighted pilot light. But I know how it works and I understand it.
As for the dishwasher. Ah. Another story. Ours flat out broke, no recourse but to replace it. And the ONLY replacement that would fit in the space is a..oh, I forget the brand. It's fabulous. Instead of a flip-down door opening, it has two drawers that pull out. So you can use both drawers, or just one. I admit. I am in love with it. It makes a lite beedle-beedle noise when you open the drawer, an it makes me so happy.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: No appliance envy here.  When we remodeled our kitchen in 2007, we replaced everything except the fridge, which we'd just had to replace the year before. (Hank, I have the same dishwasher.  Just wait until you have to work on it.  Ha ha.) We didn't go for the Sub Zero price range, though, thank goodness. And I agree with Jan--who would ever want to have people looking at what's IN your fridge?  And a fridge without magnets? Please. I do love my Jenn-Air gas stove with gas oven. I like to cook and you can't beat a good gas range.  We've got a little drinks fridge (clear door okay on that one) and a Sharp drawer microwave.  I love the microwave, but unlike the dishwasher, we haven't had to do repairs yet.  I suspect it will be a nightmare.

RHYS BOWEN: Sorry, I'm a Kenmore girl. All our appliances come from Sears. I have friends with Sub Zero fridges and they look lovely, but so what? And my brother has a stove that belongs in Gordon Ramsay's kitchen but it uses the same gas that I do. I do love my Cuisineart which is the big one, but apart from that I'm content. We did just buy a lovely new washing machine, front loader, huge capacity and it really does get things clean.
However, I do confess to twinges of car envy sometimes. I buy a new Camry every four years. Reliable, good solid transportation, but part of me wants that low sleek sportscar with the rag top, or better yet the Mercedes sports car with the top that folds at the press of a button. I suppose I could afford one but the sensible side of me says WHY.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Rhys, I am totally with you. When we need to replace something, we walk into Sears, pick the Kenmore that got the best rating from Consumer Reports and buy it. Sears has really reasonable delivery rates in our area as well. 

I have to confess, I love reading shelter magazines (Traditional Home, House Beautiful, Southern Living) and I often fantasize about having one of those fabulously retro kitchens, where all the appliances have rounded '50s corners and come with cool pastel paint jobs and chrome trim. But OMG, have you seen how much those things cost? The frugal Yankee in me can't take it. I'm not willing to pay an extra $1,000 for pretty.

LUCY BURDETTE: We do have a fancy dishwasher because of the size it has to fit in, but Debs is completely right--repairs are a nightmare! We went through this recently--had to wait a month (washing by hand, mind you!) and then it ended up costing about the price of a regular new dishwasher. Hopefully, we have learned our lesson. I do adore my Maytag washer and dryer though--was completely sucked in by the lonely maytag repairman commercials:)

ROSEMARY: Tell us your nightmare appliance story and you'll be entered to win a free copy of Slugfest!  http://tinyurl.com/6mdovca

Adventures in Self-Publishing

ROSEMARY HARRIS:  If anyone had told me five years ago - or even two  - that I would be self-pubbing a book, I would have said Absolutely Not! In fact, even a few years back there was still the faint whiff of disapproval or sympathy regarding self-pubbed authors.  And I was on the fringes of that camp.

I didn't come to my decision on a soapbox ranting about the evils of NY publishing.  I had - and still have - a great agent - and I've had four books traditionally published, including the one I have just self-pubbed in paperback. My first three books were hard/soft with MacMillan. Originally Slugfest, the fourth book in the series was to have been released in paperback by the hardcover publisher. There it was...listed on Amazon with a March 29, 2012 release date. My agent and editor confirmed it. I planned Spring 2012 accordingly.

And then, I got the news that they had changed their minds. O-kaaaayyyy. The reasons are varied and are best told at the bar at Bouchercon, but I didn't see why I shouldn't try my hand at self-publishing. All of the others had had some life as pbs. I wouldn't have the advantage of publishing the ebook, the original publisher had retained those rights, so I wouldn't be able to give my book away for free or sell it for .99 and then claim it was a bestseller. I was going the route that conventional wisdom said was a dead end - trade paperback publishing.

I investigated both Lightning Source and CreateSpace and truth be told their numbers, offers and potential were very similar. I chose CreateSpace because their website was slightly easier for me to negotiate, but that might not be the same for everyone.

They offered three cover design options which basically allow you to have as much or as little help designing your cover as you like. I took the middle road. I found the artwork, wrote the back cover copy and communicated via email with a designer who made numerous changes at my request. I'm pretty happy with the cover although if I had it to do over I might have made the title bigger (tough to do with an eight letter word but elongated type might have helped.)

Then I had to decide on price. If I wanted to avail myself of CS's Expanded Distribution (and not lose money on every book sold) I'd need a cover price of $11.99. Expanded distribution would enable me to be listed on Baker&Taylor's website and Ingram's. There was also the possibility of a sale to B&N. But no guarantees. And no salesperson except for me. And I'd be busy trying to let consumers know that the book was now available in paperback. If I said no to Expanded Distribution, I could go out with an $8.99 price point - more consumer friendly and more competitive with other cozy or light mystery titles - and it was trade, not mass market sized. So that's what I did. I felt it was a longshot that B&N was going to carry the reprint and most libraries that wanted the book had bought it in hardcover. I am sorry the book isn't going to be available through independent bookstores, but it wasn't going to be anyway (if I hadn't self-pubbed.)

The CreateSpace process was remarkable. Fast, easy and responsive to my frequent calls and emails. (There is a system in place that let's you click a button that says Call Me Now! and dang if someone doesn't call you about your book.)My out of pocket costs were about $500 - the lion's share of that being cover design, $350, so it could have been a lot less.

And it seemed to me that was a reasonable price to pay  to learn if any of the promotional activities, social media, mailings, etc. I was doing were generating sales or if it was all still about being on the front table at Barnes & Noble. Few things compare to getting that kind of exposure, but I'd only had that for one of my previous books anyway (Pushing Up Daisies) and over time the paperbacks had sold so why not try it for my self-pubbed book?

In the last two weeks since the book went live on Amazon, I've solicited reviews, written a few guest blogs, and sent out a newsletter and press release (cross your fingers that the fellow from the Washington Post likes it as much as he liked the first book which went into a second printing. And that Garrison Keillor actually reads it, likes it and chats it up!!)

I've also sent an email to about fifty writing pals asking for help in getting the word out. I confess that was a little awkward but I was absolutely heartened by the response I got (and I will flog forever books written by those authors who were kind enough to give me a shout-out!)

So that's where I am. I try not to obsessively check my CreateSpace or Amazon number but I am human. ;-) One interesting side note, sales of my first three books have seen a little spike since I started yakking about Slugfest. 

I have very realistic and modest sales expectations for the book.  If the shelf life of a traditionally released paperback is somewhere between milk and yogurt, I'm told a self-pubbed release is more like good scotch - but I certainly hope the book doesn't take 12-20 years to sell! I will make a determination on the success or failure of the project at the end of the year. And then we'll see. I still hope to have my WIP traditionally published, but I am keeping my options open.

 

So.. as Dr. Pangloss might say....any questions?

It's a SLUG FEST!!

JAN BROGAN:  Slugfest, the fourth in the Dirty Business mystery series, takes your protagonist . Paula Halliday, out of Connecticut and back to her roots in New York City.  I know you live in both places, but what made you decide to move Paula for this story? And what special opportunities to New York City backdrop offer you?

ROSEMARY HARRIS: This is the second time I've taken Paula on the road, the first time was in The Big Dirt Nap. The fictional town of Springfield, Connecticut gives me the opportunity to develop my main cast of characters - Babe Chinnery, Mike O'Malley, Carolyn Sturgis and others - and I've enjoyed watching them grow from acquaintances to friends, but taking Paula to a different venue allows me to have her rub shoulders with some types that aren't going to be found in a nice suburban town!

JAN: I love the title Slugfest.  Tell me it's meaning in this book and how you came up with it.

ROSEMARY: Back in the day the working title for this book was Pest Management - which sounded a little clinical! Then, there was another title which I loved and everyone else hated - Bam-bi-no! (which was a play on baseball and Bambi, no! as in a deer repellant.) I thought it was terribly clever but there were fears that readers wouldn't get the joke. Slugfest, of course refers to a fight or confrontation and in the book, it's also the name of a supposedly foolproof pest repellant. There's a lot of money to be made   (if such a thing existed ..that's the gardener in me answering)  and bad guys have stolen the formula.

JAN: In Slugfest, you have a wide array of quirky characters from the high school black belt to the slick marketing guy. Tell us who is your favorite and how you came up with him/her.

ROSEMARY: Has to be Connie Anzalone. She doesn't let long nails, big hair and outlandish outfits get in the way of her garden plans. And if fact, if anyone tries to, she just might sic Fat Frank on him.

JAN: flower show is an unlikely, unpredictable setting for murder, tell us how you use this for comic and/or suspenseful effect? (contrast?)

ROSEMARY: Anyone who's ever been on the show circuit, whether it's dogs, cats or flowers, knows that jealousies, rivalries and egos can run wild.  And in addition to the honors bestowed, there's a lot of money to be made from products and endorsements and that's when the garden gloves come off!

JAN: What is the most important thing Paula learns in this mystery, outside of maybe, never do your friends a favor?

ROSEMARY: Everyone should own a red dress!

JAN: Ro is on hand to answer any and all of your questions. In the meantime, Slugfest in now available  in paperback and you can get it there: 

  http://tinyurl.com/6mdovca

On Lying

JAN: Because I believe some things never change, I've reposted this 2009 blog.

"And, after all, what is a lie? 'Tis but The truth in masquerade"

Lord Byron

JAN: Do people really lie three times within 10 minutes of meeting someone new? That's a popular statistic circulating the web. Even as a journalist, always searching for lies, I found this tough to believe.

But then I realized. Hey, It's true. I probably lie a minimum of three times within the first ten minutes of a cocktail party. At least by the way the study defines lying.

Included in the definition are things like falsely agreeing with others and the misrepresentation of feelings. Ever choke back the way you really think?? I do it all the time.

Let me explain. Politically, I'm probably to the left of 80 percent of the country. Personally, of course, I think I'm dead center, with some surprising views on various issues that keep both the conservative and the liberal action groups sending me mail. But I live in Massachusetts, so by local standards, I'm a raging conservative. And because I'm a writer, people take it for granted that I'm liberal. They make statements presuming I agree with them. Do I jump into it?

It would mean a verbal fist fight, and because I believe that no one has ever really swayed anyone's political beliefs by cocktail conversation, I smile and say nothing.

For me, it's politics. For others it's religion, music, or whether they actually enjoy the ballet. I know people who have to lie to stop people from shoving a cocktail into their hands. Sometimes we just keep our mouths shut because it just doesn't seem right to tell your best friend her new hairdo looks like straw or that her new drapes are making you dizzy.

So come on, fess up: What do you LIE about??

HALLIE: Here's what I don't lie about. My age. Or what I paid for the outfit you just complimented me on, bless you.

But yes, if someone starts in on anything political, I don't so much lie as refuse to engage. My politics are my personal business, thank you very much. Besides, it seems like I rarely meet anyone who is genuinely interested in engaging in a discussion on issues--they just want to be clever and dismissive and yell. So I shut down. Is that lying?

JAN: Yes, according to this study's definition: You are lying about your feelings, God forbid.

RO: My first instinct was to protest that I never lie, but reading your definition of lying I guess I do. I went to a reunion recently...and definitely dropped a few omissions/lies there. And Bouchercon is coming up...oooh I'll probably do a bit of fibbing there. (e.g., "It's an honor just to be nominated!") I try not to make a habit of it, though, because I'm really a terrible liar. My mother always used to say that and I think she did it just to spook me into always telling her the truth. She said she could always tell when I was lying and now I think everyone else can too.

So Hallie...where did you get that wonderful black shoulder bag you have...the small one with the metal clasp? Was it fabulously expensive? (This is a test.)

HALLIE: Ooooh,isn't it great? Italy! At a factory outlet...gorgeousness for less than $50.00. Unless you count the cost of the trip. Those Italians really know how to make gorgeous handbags.

HANK: I guess...I do...I always feel SO GUILTY,though. Social excuses, mostly.(Oh, so sorry we can't make it, because...but most often I don't give a reason.) And I actually do lie about the cost of things. Actually, I don't lie, I just don't tell. And in political discussions, I generally just try to prevent the other two guys from fighting.

There's a person I see from time to time, and if you ask her a question, she'll often begin her answer with "I'm not gonna lie to you, but..." I just instantly decide whatever she's saying is not true. (And RO, it IS an honor to be nominated for an Anthony. No lie. Congratulations!)


JAN: Okay everyone, what do YOU LIE about? 

Important Notice Regarding Pet Birds

ROSEMARY HARRIS: IMPORTANT - Never keep pet birds in the kitchen or in rooms where the fumes from the kitchen could reach. Birds have a very sensitive respiratory system. Fumes released due to overheated cooking oil, fat, margarine and over heated non-stick cookware may be equally harmful.

Good to know. You may ask why this is here and why I know this since I don't own a bird, never have and have no plans to get one. So imagine my surprise when I discovered this notice in my kitchen. I was looking for a recipe for Aloo Gobi and found this notice about birds. I looked around. Was this a joke? Had one of my friends left in there to gaslight me? (To get reference google Charles Boyer, Ingrid Berman movie Gaslight.)

My best guess is that it came in the paperwork of some appliance or cookware I bought. But it would not have been the first time that something appeared in my home and I thought WTF??? I have claimed the black hoodie and Ralph Lauren sunglasses (whoever left them, it's too late..they're mine now.) I've returned the red plaid flannel shirt. The dog toys..who knows..my dog is a klepto at the dog run.

Have you ever found something in your home and wondered how the heck it got there??

JAN BROGAN: Yes, the bird itself. I had a bird, a Quaker Parakeet, which looks like a small green and blue parrot. Despite this excellent appliance or cookware manufacturer's advice, I kept it in a cage in the kitchen for NINE YEARS. Besides being dirty and loud, it was fixated on me ,and every time my husband let it perch on the top of the cage, it flew to my shoulder and crapped on me.

HOW DID IT GET THERE? HOW in GOD'S NAME did I ever allow this obsessed and hostile animal in my home? Because I was an indulgent mom. My daughter badly wanted a kitten. I was so freaking indulgent I had agreed to the kitten even though I'm seriously allergic to cats. Before I could make that mistake, we realized she was allergic to cats as well. Did I take this God-given OUT? NO. Instead I agreed to it. If you take no other advice I ever give on this blog, take this advice. NEVER GET A BIRD OF ANY KIND. They belong in the skies. Not in your kitchen.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: When I was in my teens, I had a menagerie--fish in an aquarium, caged finches, and--OMG--gerbils! I can't believe I ever wanted gerbils. (Did I mention I also had a very feral and clever cat?) This is in my Konrad Lorenz/Gerald Durrell stage, when I wanted to be an animal behaviorist. At least that's my excuse.You can guess what happened to the gerbils. The finches were pretty but noisy and made a horrible mess. I swore I'd never have birds again. Then twenty-five years later, a teacher friend who had a parakeet in her classroom convinced me to keep it over the Christmas holidays. Need I say, she didn't take it back? And he/she was lonely, so we got another one, and when one died we got another one, etc, etc. (Did I mention we had cats?) Now when I say no birds ever again I really, really mean it.There was one lovely moment, though. Our elder German shepherd was not much more than a puppy when one of the parakeets got out, as they are prone to do when you're trying to clean out the cage. The bird flapped around the room in a panic, the dog caught it in her jaws, we gave a gasp of horror--and our dog trotted over and let us very gently take the completely unharmed bird from her mouth.

LUCY BURDETTE: Awwwww, Debs, that's sweet. I think I told you once that we had German shepherds growing up. And guinea pigs. And cats. And hamsters. And white mice. My mother was very tolerant about pets and crazy about them herself. We still have old slides of the guinea pig in the dog's food bowl, noshing on kibbles while the dog looked on. We trained our best (smartest) guinea pig to follow us everywhere, including up and downstairs. Even out for walks in the neighborhood. One of the most tragic days of my childhood occurred when the dog pulled the leash and I accidentally stepped on Guinea. He died a tortured death hours later with all of us sobbing around him.
But geez, that really has nothing to do with the subject at hand, does it Ro?

ROSEMARY: Not a bit!

RHYS BOWEN: All of this reminds me of when my grandson, aged 4 was given two gerbils. His mother came into the room and looked into the cage. One gerbil. She looked at Sam. "Blackberry is playing hide and seek," he said. "He's hiding." We had to play warmer, colder until we located it under a dresser. When my daughter went to college I brought her a plant. I told her if she could keep that alive she could try a goldfish. If that succeeded she could have a puppy or a kitten. And if she kept that alive for six months she could have a baby.But something strange in my house?
One night when we lived in Texas I heard scratching at the front door. I opened it. It was raining and in walked a skunk. Walked around my front hall as if it belonged, while I held my breath. It turned out it belonged to the neighbors. De-smelled.

HALLIE EPHRON: A SKUNK?! Yikes. That reminds me of the time my husband and I were camping with our 9-month-old in the Smokey Mountains; we'd just finished dinnner, put the baby to sleep in the tent, when a black bear ambled into our camp site. We jumped into the car, watching in horror as the bear sniffed around the tent. We knew there was no food in there--and they tell you as long as there's no food in the tent the bear won't go in. It was a very very very long 5 minutes later that that bear had eaten the marshmallows off the picnic table and taken off.But what was the question?? We do have a collection of phone chargers left here by daughters and their friends.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: We had a bird, briefly, when I was a kid. A mynah bird, named Yurza. Yurza, Mynah. Funny huh? Yeesh. The bird, I have to say, was awful, a real pain and incredibly annoying. It learned to say "Bird Power" "HI Bird" and to the endless irritation of everyone in the family, it learned to imitate the telephone. I have no idea what happened to the bird, I probably blocked the memory out. Maybe it went to live forever on a bird farm. As for mystery items--maybe you can tell me what the little molded plastic thing I found in our junk drawer is. I'm afraid to throw it away.

ROSEMARY: I'm cracking up at the turns this conversation has taken. Birds, squashed gerbils and phone chargers. And I totally understand keeping the black plastic thingy in case you might one day need it.

Okay..even weirder than the bird instructions? I found this hunk of stone..cement in a pond behind my kitchen. I dug the pond eight years ago so it's not as if this has been there for ages. How did it get there? What does it mean?




Julia Spencer Fleming: Found something in my home and wondered how the heck it got there? You mean, beside the large, food-sucking teens that appeared one day in place of the adorable little kids I had?
Actually, since we're in an almost 200-year-old house, we frequently find things large and small that we never knew we owned. There was the cache of wonderful paneled doors (none of them the same exact size) in one of the barn lofts, the 1940s newspapers stuffed in the wall of the downstairs bathroom, and my favorite, several cardboard boxes filled with candy inside the defunct chest freezer left behind in the cellar by some former inhabitant. Why was it in a non-working freezer? How old was it? The kids probably would have risked a taste test, but I chucked it to be on the safe side.

I fully expect, should we ever have to do a major cellar renovation, to find bones beneath the dirt floor.

ROSEMARY: Any surprises at your house or apartment? Feathered or otherwise?

Under the sheets...???

ROSEMARY HARRIS:  No, this is not really a naughty post. And it's not about bridal shower or sweet sixteen minutes or saying the words "under the sheets" after you read your fortune cookie fortune. (Haven't done that? It's fun.)

Last month, while on vacation in a tiny cabin, horizontal, next to my happily snoring husband - I desperately wanted to keep reading. I fumbled around, found the flashlight (it was that kind of trip) and finished my book by flashlight, Under the Sheets. Like a kid, sneaking a few more minutes after lights out.  The book in question was Lee Child's The Affair. Get your guffaws out now..Lee Child ... Under the Sheets.
The Affair..Under the sheets. I'm with you. Pretty funny. But seriously, the book was just too good to put down.
So - What was the last book that was so good you would have read it with a flashlight under the sheets?
And, okay, let's be a little naughty - add the words Under the Sheets to some book titles. Hallie's are perfect - Never tell a lie under the sheets and Come and find me under the sheets!

JAN BROGAN:  I hate to admit this, in part because I was totally  manipulated by my Kindle and the author, who didn't completely wrap up the story but left it hanging. But I actually finished book II on night at about 1 in the morning, ordered the third and final book in the series, and kept reading until three a.m.   My husband was away on business, but really..... I am not proud of my behavior. I mean, I might as well be staying up late shooting heroin because that's a little what it felt like.
Teaser ...under the sheets?

RHYS BOWEN: I've finished re-reading Connie Willis's The Doomsday Book and you'd think that because I'd read it before I wouldn't be so caught up in the story. But I was. I knew, in theory that the heroine would be rescued and wouldn't die of plague but I had to keep clicking that Kindle page turner, eating up large chunks of valuable time when I should have been writing or eating or cleaning house. And when it ended I found I was crying. Good book if it can do that to a reader twice!
And I should just mention that my next Molly book, due out in March, is called Hush Now, Don't You Cry..... under the sheets!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I can't tell you, because its going to win the Edgar. And it'll be pretty funny to add under the sheets after the title.  I'm now reading Val McDermid's The Retribution (under the sheets) and Charles Todd's The Confession (under the sheets). Hooked, absolutely, on both!  (And I agree about The Affair!)
(My new book is The Other Woman. The Other Woman Under the Sheets is a MUCH better title...) Ro, you are too funny...xoox

LUCY BURDETTE: Can't wait for HUSH NOW, DON'T YOU CRY, and THE OTHER WOMAN, and NO MARK UPON HER--which is on my nightstand. I know I'll be under the sheets with those! But I'm reading a lot of novels with food and cooking in them--loved loved Barbara O'Neal's HOW TO BAKE A PERFECT LIFE and Julie Hyzy's White House chef series and Meredith Mileti's AFTERTASTE. And THE HELP rates right up there with GONE WITH THE WIND in my life list.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I stayed up WAY too late the other night reading a very advanced copy (as in PDF of typeset pages) of Marcia Talley's new book, The Last Refuge (under the sheets.) That's a good one! As is the book! And we Reds who were at ALA in Dallas scored big. Although I didn't have a chance to get a copy of Val McDermid's Retribution, I've got Charles Todd's Confession, Cara Black's Murder at the Lanterne Rouge, and Denise Hamilton's Damage Control. Temptation under the sheets! I think Hank and Hallie are tied for the best "Under the Sheets" titles, but No Mark Upon Her (under the sheets) isn't bad, either.
(Rhys, all my Brit friends keep telling me I must read Connie Willis. Now I really MUST read Connie Willis...)

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Ro, one summer when I was doing a massive multi-week book tour with Denise Hamilton, I picked up Lee Child's THE PERSUADER (under the sheets!) I got so wrapped up in it, that I couldn't stop reading when it was time for lights out (Denise and I were sharing a hotel room.) I took the book into the bathroom, threw a towel against the door to keep the light from spilling into the room, and stayed up 'til 3 finishing it - sitting on the john! Obviously, Lee knows how to keep a reader under the sheets...Recently? I read Linda Rodriguez's upcoming
EVERY LAST SECRET (under the sheets) in order to blurb it, and it kept me up way too late in bed, despite being in an unwieldy manuscript form. I think some of my titles would work.
I SHALL NOT WANT..under the sheets. ALL MORTAL FLESH...under the sheets. Which reminds me of the way I learned to play the game: with hymn titles!

HALLIE EPHRON: Hey, we can take all of Ro's mysteries and have a little DIRTY BUSINESS under the sheets. Hmmm. Sounds like fun. I couldn't put down Sara Henry's Learning to Swim ... I would have taken it under the sheets except I go to bed WAY earlier than my husband. And some of Deborah's titles are so perfect: Now May You Weep under the sheets, Dreaming of the Bones under the sheets, Mourn Not Your Dead under the sheets
And what about Prime Time Under the Sheets.

ROSEMARY: Or..(she blushes)..Face Time under the sheets? What's YOUR favorite...under the sheets?

Merry Christmas Silliness

All the credit for this goes to Rosemary Harris, who got us all together, made the costumes, arranged the songs, and hired the musicians, ho ho ho :)

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

THE LOTTERY FOR REAL

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I caught a snippet of an interchange between Hallie and Hank on Facebook one day last week. Hallie said, "If I won the lottery, I'd hire a chauffeur, and Hank replied, "If I won the lottery, I'd hire a chef."

That started me thinking about the fantasy of suddenly finding ourselves rich beyond our wildest imaginings, and I wondered what we would discover we REALLY wanted if it actually happened.

Of course we'd give lots of money away--pick your cause.

But then, there would be a bit left over, right? Would we hire chefs and chauffeurs, buy mansions or private jets, shop at Harvey Nick's in London? Interesting.

Twenty to thirty years ago, I might have gone for the whole cottage in an English village thing. A thatched cottage. Maybe with a stream and a mill wheel. A post office and a perfect pub.

But in the years since, I find I've fallen inextricably in love with London. The fantasy gradually changed. So, a house or flat in London, preferably, you might guess, in Notting Hill. (And believe me, that would take winning the lottery.)

But what I'm discovering is that I actually love my stays in rented flats. There is the flat in Notting Hill where I've stayed for years, with all its quirky eccentricities. It might be a bit posher if I could buy it and do it over, but it wouldn't have the same character. And when I sometimes stay in different flats, it gives me a chance to discover new places and neighborhoods, which I would miss, as I suspect would my readers.

And as for the mansion, no, not really, although I'd replace our poor sad fence, paint, add insulation (pant, pant) and spruce up the garden.

The Maserati? I have my eye on a Ford Fiesta.

And the multi-million dollar question--would I write if I didn't have to?

I can't imagine not.

What about you, Reds? If the world was your oyster, what would you do with it?

(I do have to admit that I'd consider buying that villa in Tuscany, where we could all get together for cooking and writing retreats. And maybe invite Sting over for dinner . . . )

LUCY BURDETTE: Giving a lot away would be so much fun! But then maybe a little place in Manhattan...or Paris...I can't imagine not writing. How would we fill our hours???

HALLIE EPHRON: Imagining carte blanche in the cheese department. Not looking at price tags when I shop for clothes. And a house with a spectacular sunset view and a spacious front porch. Oh, and oysters. Wellfleet oysters. Lots of them.

RHYS BOWEN: Oh yes, oysters. I usually have a small appetite, but I commented last week when we were eating oysters (horribly expensive) at a restaurant, that I'd love to see how many I could eat before I felt sick. I'd love to give away lots of money. I'd love Deb's thatched cottage. For me the best thing would be what Lee Child said to me a few years ago. "I don't do economy."

Traveling first class everywhere with a limo at either end. Bliss.

JAN BROGAN: Let's see, there's a condo in Aix-En-Provence I have my eye on. And after being smushed on the way over in seats designed for no one taller than five feet, I'm with Rhys. I don't need a first class ticket, (although it would be nice) but I do need the leg room to survive a six to seven hour flight. And on the domestic front, I've always wanted to hire a gardener.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I said that? Huh. Not a bad idea. Would he/she also clean up? Well, All I can say is, our car is ten years old. I saw a possible replacement the other day, and I said to Jonathan, what kind of a car is that? It's pretty cool. And he said--it's a Porsche Panamera.

SO, because what are you gonna do, I made a song out of it. To the tune of Guantanamera. Sing along, if you will. "Porsche Panamera! We want a Porsche Panamera. Porsche Pana-meerrrrraaaaa...we NEED a Porsche Panamera"

But, really,I wouldn't buy a car. Is there a way to arrange for--more time??

DEBS: Hank, no! Now you've got that song stuck in my head! Rhys, I'm totally in on the oysters. And on traveling first class--or hey, at least business--especially on those ten hour transatlantic flights. And, I do have to admit a guilty fondness (more than fondness) for nice hotel rooms . . . Being able to order a bottle of Dom Perignon at the champagne bar at St. Pancras Station would be pretty nice too, instead of one glass of the cheapest bubbly on offer.

But if we want to move into the realm of fantasy--and why not?--I'm going with Hank.

I want the Time Turner.

What about you, JR Readers? What would you do if you won the lottery?