Do You Have Imposter Syndrome?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: True story. I was in a car with the definition of perfection, Lee Child. He was...mulling over the whether James Patterson (who I also adore) sold more books than he did.

Friends, I burst out laughing.  Come ON, I said. You sell a book every second.  You are incredibly talented. You are adored and beloved. And come on. Either way. You have got to be happy.

I am happy, he said. Of course. But I could tell--he was still calculating.

This is all to say--writing is a non-stop march through unpredictability. With smart successful people who are striving to be the best they can be.

And with that--I give you the gloriously talented and amazingly successful friend of the Reds: Annette Dashofy.  Who, if I were sitting in a car with, I would say the same thing.

Any yet, and yet. She's talking about:

Imposter Syndrome, Author-Style

By Annette Dashofy

My next book has just come out. Under the Radar is my ninth, but the release of a novel out into the world never gets old or routine. Early reviews have been excellent. My launch party was amazing. My blog tour is winding down.

So why am I so nervous?

Because I’m always afraid the newest book will be the one to unveil me as a fraud.

I’ve been fooling them all along, making readers think I know what I’m doing when, in fact, it’s nothing but smoke and mirrors.

Yes, I confess. I suffer from Imposter Syndrome. [https://hbr.org/2008/05/overcoming-imposter-syndrome]

I’ve heard the term “Imposter Syndrome” before and knew I was a victim, but until I read this article, I had no idea just how bad a case I had. I didn’t tick off one box. I ticked them all off!

I must not fail. Check. I have such an incredible support team, starting with my family, both blood and ink. My local Sisters in Crime, Pennwriters members, and critique group have all been incredibly supportive. I don’t want to let them down.  

I feel like a fake. Check. Me? A writer? Hitting the bestseller list? Being nominated for awards? Someone definitely made a mistake. I think that’s why I make screen captures every time my books are on a list. I know it’s why I keep going back to the Agatha Awards webpage to make sure my name’s still there. Phew. They haven’t realized they counted the ballots wrong yet!

 

It’s all down to luck. Check. Timing is everything. I’d rather be lucky than good. I’ve heard these phrases coming from my lips. And I truly believe I’ve been incredibly fortunate.

Success is no big deal. Check. Well, it is a big deal, but in my version, I haven’t attained it yet because someone is going to realize I’m a lucky fake and my success is an illusion, a house of cards that will collapse the next time I breathe on it.

The rest of the article goes on to give suggestions to overcome Imposter Syndrome. Recognizing the negative mental conversations we have with ourselves and talking about them being two key components. So here we are at the newly formed ISA (Imposter Syndrome Anonymous) chapter.

Have you ever felt like a fraud? Wondered what were they thinking when someone puts you in charge of an important project? Believed your success was nothing more than luck? Please tell me I’m not alone in these feelings.

Hank: Puh-leeze. 
Reds and readers? Weigh in! 
(And Annette, just saying: congratulations on your Agatha nomination and your crazy wild success!)



UNDER THE RADAR

Paramedic and deputy coroner Zoe Chambers responds to a shooting and discovers her longtime friend, Horace Pavelka, has gunned down a man who’d bullied him mercilessly for decades. Ruled self-defense, no charges are filed. When another of his tormentors turns up dead in Horace’s kitchen, Police Chief Pete Adams questions the man’s innocence in both cases…especially after Horace and his girlfriend go into hiding.

While fighting to clear her friend, Zoe is handed the opportunity to finally learn what really happened to her long-lost sibling. What starts out as a quick road trip on a quest for answers leads her to an unfamiliar city in the middle of a November blizzard, where she finds way more trouble than she bargained for.

Pete’s own search for his missing fiancée and a missing murderer ultimately traps him in a web of deception. Face-to-face with one of the most cunning and deadly killers of his law enforcement career, Pete realizes too late that this confrontation may well be his last.

Annette Dashofy is the USA Today best-selling author of the Zoe Chambers mystery series about a paramedic and deputy coroner in rural Pennsylvania’s tight-knit Vance Township. Annette has garnered five Agatha nominations including her current nomination for Best Contemporary Novel for FAIR GAME. She is the vice president of the Pittsburgh chapter of Sisters in Crime Chapter and is on the board of directors of Pennwriters. UNDER THE RADAR is the ninth in her series.

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Being Sick - It's the Worst!

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Hang on, everyone, I’m going to complain. There’s nothing better than moaning about your illnesses to a captive audience, is there? And I have a lot to moan about. I developed flu symptoms on February 2nd, and I’m still sick, albeit now with a bad chest congestion that may or may not be pneumonia (my doctor doesn’t want to x-ray me until and unless the antibiotics I’m on are a dud.) I’ve managed to drag myself to some of the classes I teach at the local community college, but my students aren’t exactly getting their tuition money’s worth. 

I’ve been conserving what little energy I have for the most important things -  bringing up wood from the wood room, keeping the kitchen fire going, and walking the dog as necessary (The Smithie, who’s been burning the candles at all possible ends with work/campaign volunteering/dating every guy in a 50 mile radius, has also fallen ill.) All extraneous tasks like laundry, cooking anything that doesn’t come out of a can, or shoveling snow that can be waded through have fallen to the wayside.

The thing that’s so frustrating? February was supposed to be the month I ramped up my social media presence heading into my book launch. I was going to be contacting bloggers about guest spots, running a contest for ARCs, sending out newsletters, etc. etc. Instead, I’ve just sat on the comfy chair in front of the aforementioned kitchen wood stove, groaning and hacking. (I sound like an 87 year old woman who’s been smoking in front of a slot machine since retirement.) I’m reminded of the times when, as a young stay-at-home mother, I got sick: I can recall setting out juice and crackers in the family room, shoving a Disney movie into the VCR player, and collapsing on the sofa, knowing I could lay there inert until Beast turned back into a human prince.

How about you, Reds? Have you ever had an illness/accident/can’t-put-it-off surgery at the least convenient time?

JENN McKINLAY: Oh, sweetie, I feel you. Last summer I was supposed to be trotting around NYC, meeting and greeting and shmoozing everyone in the publishing industry, etc. Instead, I ended up skulking in my brother’s basement in Massachusetts, like a bridge troll, while quarantined with Shingles. As if the pain and blisters ON MY FACE weren’t bad enough?! As a show of solidarity, I am going to hit the social media airwaves this week and pimp the shizzle out of HID FROM OUR EYES! We’ve got your back! 

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Poor thing!  Always always always. I wish I could forget about the time I had to give a speech in front of 400 people in Miami, and my voice completely went away the day before. COMPLETELY.  I croaked through it, sipping honey-hot water, and managed it, and everyone was very compassionate and atta-girl, but it would have been much better if I had, um, been able to talk.  I think sometimes stress decides to see how much more stressed it can make you...ah HA! It says. Watch what I’m gonna do now. 

And Jenn, ah. I had shingles too, which obliterated an entire holiday season and holiday-card-sending. I know that was brought on by stress. It was HORRIBLE.

Julia, your book is going to fly off the shelves, and we will be the wind beneath its gorgeous wings. 

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Julia, we totally have your back on this!! We will shout from the rooftops. You REST. And have that x-ray!

My  absolutely-worst-time-to-get-sick was waking up in London the morning I was due to leave for a book tour in Germany, with the flu. It was awful. I did five cities in Germany with an entourage including my German publicist, a translator/media personality, and a German actress who did the German readings. These were all ticketed events and I can’t imagine anyone wanted to be in the same room with me, much less touch a book I had signed. By the last city I had completely lost my voice and we had to drop the English readings all together. Then the Icelandic volcano blew up and my return flight to London was canceled. My fabulous publicist managed to get me the last seat on the train. When I did eventually get back to London, I came down with, wait for it, NOROVIRUS. Gaaa.

HALLIE EPHRON: OMG, I cannot cannot cannot top that. ANY of that! Losing my voice in the middle of a writing conference with several workshops left to give is the worst. Oh yeah, and there was the bad oyster I ate the night before teaching at the Cape Cod Writers Conference. 

Julia, your new book is going to be HUGE.  And everyone out there, please stay well.

LUCY BURDETTE: So sorry you’ve been sick for so long Julia! Probably my worst timing was the day I was supposed to be the guest of honor/speaker at a large golf tournament. I woke up in the night with a stomach virus and had to tell them I couldn’t make it. They were upset (naturally) but you simply can’t soldier on through the stomach flu!

Julia, here’s hoping this is over soon, and we all agree, this book is going to be huge!

RHYS BOWEN:  Oh Julia, the only thing that matters is recovering. Flu is a really bad illness and it takes a month to recover. When you look back the success or failure of any book does not hinge on a guest blog post but on good writing!

My most inconvenient illness? John was told he needed open heart surgery two weeks before I was due to teach a workshop in Tuscany. People were coming from all over the world. I faced being seriously out of pocket and disappointing everyone. Miracle happened and the doctor said he could stent instead. We went to Italy on schedule.

JULIA: Oh, Rhys, I remember that! Nerve-wracking, horribly timed and scary. Okay, I'm actually feeling a lot better about not feeling better - at least I don't have to travel through foreign lands, miss meetings or risk disappointing an audience. Dear readers, how about you? When and what was your least convenient illness?

RED HOT DEALS! Have you ever wanted to be a character in one of JULIA's books? Here's your chance! I'm donating a character name in my next book as part of a fundraiser for the University of Maine Model UN Team. Every $5 donation gives you one chance in a random drawing (ends mid-March.) Go here to donate and enter!  

THE MURDER LIST—now an Agatha award and Mary Higgins Clark  nominee!—is now in gorgeous trade paperback!  https://hankphillippiryan.com/index2.php

A Recipe for Time Travel

DEBORAH CROMBIE: In a comment last week, Hallie mentioned a recipe she'd seen in the Boston paper for a cabbage and tomato soup served with sour cream and dill. That reminded me that I used to make a similar cabbage soup called Schi, which I loved. But what, I wondered, had happened to the recipe? 

First, I looked in the big, messy (I mean really messy!) three-ring binder where I stick newspaper recipe clippings and appliance instructions. No luck, although a lot of stuff fell out on the floor. But I knew I had a printed recipe, so I kept thinking about it, and eventually I remembered my little recipe notebook. 

Lo and behold, there it was on the kitchen shelf, hiding in between cookbooks!

I hadn't looked at this in years!

What a treasure! It's filled with typed (on my old Smith Corona, no less) recipes, some from family and friends, others I must have read somewhere. 

Here is my friend Franny's recipe for oat scones. Yum. I'd completely forgotten about those.

There was my aunt's mushroom pate, our old neighbor's Velvet Black-bottomed Cupcakes, my mom's Seafood Gumbo, and so many more. 

In the very back of the notebook, I found the recipe for Schi, the cabbage soup. Eureka! But it calls for boiling beef, which these days sounds very unappealing. How our taste--and my cooking--has changed. (I'll probably make a vegetarian version.) 

One recipe had a note that read, "Similar recipes in the February 1986 Gourmet," which places the little notebook in time--about three years before I started my first novel. How, I wondered, with a small child and a job, had I ever found the time to type up these carefully curated recipes and put the little book together?

Then it occurred to me that my daughter doesn't even own a cookbook. She's a good cook, but she gets Hello Fresh every week, and everything else she finds online. No newspaper clippings or hand-typed recipes!

Were we less busy in those days, before the Internet and social media? We're certainly spoiled for choice now--with a quick Google search we can learn how to prepare just about anything. But the little notebook has charm, and connections to people and a certain time in my life. I'm glad I kept it.

What about you, dear REDS and readers? Do you have a time capsule?