Saturday, December 17, 2016

Christmas Disasters

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Although--at least hopefully--most of us haven't had Christmas disasters to rival the Bumpus hounds stealing the turkey in A Christmas Story (I know I've seen this a hundred times and it still cracks me up,) I bet we've all had Christmases when things didn't go according to plan. 



My favorite from my childhood was the year my grandmother, who lived with us and was a bit forgetful, put the Christmas turkey in the oven and forgot to turn the oven on. No one realized until hours later, when it was too late to start the turkey roasting. That year we had Christmas dinner at Luby's Cafeteria. (And no one had to clean up the kitchen, which as an adult I think is the best part...)

Then, a couple of years ago, we'd planned to go to my aunt and uncle's for our traditional Christmas Day dinner, but we got snowed in. Yes! In Texas! Beautiful white fluffy snow that started at breakfast and fell all day. Of course our three or four inches would have been nothing for you hardy northerners, but in Dallas, that much snow means that the roads were shut down. We found something in the freezer to cook, and spent the day in front of the fire with just our daughter and son-in-law, and it was THE best Christmas. After that, I vowed we'd stay home on Christmas Day (we do Rick's family celebration on Christmas Eve.) This year we'll have some friends and family as well as the kiddos, and best of all, Wren!!! So looking forward to our adorable grandbaby's first Christmas!

REDS, any Christmas disasters for you?

RHYS BOWEN: The only one I can think of was the year there was a massive power cut right before I was about to put the turkey in the oven. It was a year my brother was visiting from Australia so we had around 14 people in the house. When I got upset my calm and wonderful son in law Tim went out and came back with Chinese food. So we have photos of a perfectly decorated table and lots of little food containers all over it!


HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  Seems like there's a theme here...Mine wasn't Christmas, but Thanksgiving. We had friends over, and I was doing it up big. Delish appetizers, then turkey and elegant elaborate sides. I was so proud of myself because everything was ready at the same time! The green beans were perfect, and the broccoli souffle puffed exactly when the turkey timer popped!  But when I cut into the turkey--AHHHHHH. Not done! Pink, red, awful. I slammed it back into the oven, and stalled, more wine anyone?? It cooked and cooked, endlessly. (It seems like that, anyway,but it was thirty minutes at least.)  When it was FINALLY done, long story short, I realizedI had neglected (because I had decided it was not good to stuff the turkey for some reason) to take out the bag of neck and etc.
Dear Miss Manners. And so?    

READERS, any Christmas disasters for you?

36 comments:

  1. Oh, how special to look forward to a wonderful time as Wren celebrates her first Christmas. I hope it will be magical for all of you.

    No real Christmas disasters, but when the children were little, we would have Christmas at our house and then we would celebrate Christmas again in the spring. [One year a sudden snow shower gave the children enough snow to make a snowman in the front yard; it melted in the warm spring sun the next day.]

    Since there were no vacations at Christmas time, we always had to wait for our family Christmas until John had a vacation, generally in March or April. We’d fly across the country and find Christmas decorations still up, a decorated tree . . . everything just like it was Christmas. The children loved it and, of course, they learned that it wasn’t the celebrating on the day as much as it was the celebrating with their family . . . .

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  2. Four years ago we had a wonderful Christmas at my oldest daughter's home, north of Detroit. All of us were there, plus my son-in-law's mother, who passed away a few weeks later. We got snowed in, and flights were cancelled later, so the holiday got extended by more than a day. But we had a Wii dance competition (I tied with one of the girls), and we had the singular most epic game of Apples to Apples in recorded history. We all agree, that was the benchmark holiday.

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  3. In 2013, Toronto suffered a major ice storm on December 21. Most households were without power from a few days to more than 1 week. So lots of food bought for the big meal ended up spoiled in the fridge and many were not able to prepare Christmas dinner at home. This included many of my friends, and my dad. Me, I was actually in the process of moving from Toronto to Ottawa and had taken a flight the night of December 21, and avoided the 2013 Toronto Ice Storm. It was one of the few Christmas I spent alone in a hotel waiting to move into my new apartment on January 2.

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  4. Most of these stories turned out so well! Joan I love the double Christmas idea, though usually I'm more than ready to pack the decorations away by New Year's day!

    Karen, that's a wonderful memory, especially with your son-in-law's mother there...

    Grace, alone in a hotel=not fun at all. The times I've had a bad day, I keep reminding myself this is only a day...

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  5. Not on the actual day. But Christmas 2000 was The Girl's first. We were still driving up to Buffalo to have Christmas at my parent's house at that time. That year, a massive snowstorm hit and the I-90 was closed (the part of the NYS Thruway we have to drive from Erie to Buffalo - yep, right along the lake front). You know it's a lot of snow when they close the highway in Western New York.

    Anyway, we were shunted off to a Thruway rest stop with at least fifty other travelers and possibly more. There was me - with husband, five-month-old baby, and a dog stuck for hours in this tiny rest stop. Fortunately, I was breastfeeding so keeping baby's tummy full wasn't a problem. Hubby and I were stuck with McDonald's. I'm sure they did a rousing business that night.

    After about three(?) hours, the snow had slacked a bit. We followed an 18-wheeler out of the rest stop and to the nearest exit. Then we took US 20 over the river and through the woods (sometimes quite literally) to my parents' place in Hamburg.

    Last time we went to Buffalo for Christmas - since then (although we have gone up for Thanksgiving a few times - 2001 before my mother died and the last couple years to spare my dad and step-mom from driving to Pittsburgh twice in a month, although not this year).

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  6. Lucy: It was an odd Christmas for me, but still was a lot better than being in stuck in Toronto with no power, and food going bad in the fridge and no oven for Christmas or afterwards! I felt pretty lucky, actually.

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  7. My rule for Xmas: do not travel to Buffalo. Or Albany. Or Ithaca.

    Our street is lit up on Xmas with fancy decorations at every house... except ours. We are a little dark spot since we sort of don't really though we kinda do celebrate Christmas. Now I'm baking cookies and making candy and grocery shopping and doing laundry and making beds, anticipating the arrival of my two daughter, son-in-law, and two grandbabies who will arrive Xmas eve. I love having a houseful, and our only disasters have involved forgetting to buy sour cream for the potato pancakes. This will be the year the littlest is into boxes... I've been saving the shipping cartons for him to crawl around in.

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  8. My only real Christmas disaster was the year the gas company arrived on Christmas Eve, dug up our front yard, presumed gas leak, capped off the gas and promised to return on the 26th! Fortunately it was one of those warm Dallas Decembers, so heat wasn't an issue. But I had all gas appliances, and no way to cook. However, I had a microwave oven, one of the first ever. In fact it was a prototype that my then husband had been working on and brought home from work. I cooked an entire Christmas dinner in it, one dish at a time. No kidding. As I recall, I didn't have a turkey that year but had a beef tenderloin.

    I think that was the first and last time I've ever used the microwave for anything but defrosting or reheating.

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  9. Or Detroit. Or Toledo. Or Cleveland.

    I wish potato pancakes were part of our holiday tradition. Last year a dear Jewish friend invited her extended "family" for a latke dinner for Hannukah, my first ever. She made mountains of them, so good.

    The addition of little ones to the holiday is the best. Family is great, but the tiny ones with shining eyes add another dimension of love to the proceedings.

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  10. Oh, just added to the essay--but here's mine:

    Seems like there's a theme here...Mine wasn't Christmas, but Thanksgiving. We had friends over, and I was doing it up big. Delish appetizers, then turkey and elegant elaborate sides. I was so proud of myself because everything was ready at the same time! The green beans were perfect, and the broccoli souffle puffed exactly when the turkey timer popped! But when I cut into the turkey--AHHHHHH. Not done! Pink, red, awful. I slammed it back into the oven, and stalled, more wine anyone?? It cooked and cooked, endlessly. (It seems like that, anyway,but it was thirty minutes at least.) When it was FINALLY done, long story short, I realizedI had neglected (because I had decided it was not good to stuff the turkey for some reason) to take out the bag of neck and etc.
    Dear Miss Manners. And so?

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  11. ANd I agree, Joan, it's Christmas when you say it is.

    And sometimes,--what seems like a disaster turns into a celebration. (Karen, what is Apples to Apples?)

    Hallie, how do you get the onion smell out of your clothes when you cook latkes?

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  12. Oh, poor Hank. I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time, but looking back on it, it's pretty hysterical. Hopefully but the time the turkey was done, the guests were so well lubricated that they didn't notice everything else was cooked to death. For me, that's the hardest part of these big holiday production dinners--getting everything done at the same time. If anyone has any secrets, please pass them along!

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  13. Karen, we played Apples to Apples that snowy Christmas, too. This year I have 1000 piece jigsaw for my friend Gigi and me, but I don't think we'll be doing that with the baby in the house:-)

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  14. Easy, Hank, I don't put onions in my latkes. When my next week comes up (Xmas week) I'll post my onionless recipe.

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  15. Ann, I wonder if you could have sauteed some stuff on your iron?

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    1. Iron? Haven't seen one of those since 1959.

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  16. Hank, Apples to Apples is a really fun card game. You get two decks: one has descriptions, usually a single word, like Fuzzy or Smarmy; the other deck has a thing on each one. You have to do the best you can to match the description to the thing, and be prepared to defend your rationale. It can get really wild.

    That first year we played my grandson was eight, and a big part of the fun was hearing how he chose his pairs, based on his understanding of the words. He's always been a big reader so has a goodly vocabulary, but some of his choices were so darn funny.

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  17. No onions in your latkes? That is… Fascinating. Cannot wait to see your recipe!
    And it also sounds like a cookbook title.

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  18. Sounds great! Karen, we will get it for the next time the grandkids descend…

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  19. No Christmas disasters to report, thankfully. Since moving to Seattle nine years ago, we always head back east, and we haven't even encountered any significant travel delays. That's a Christmas miracle for you!

    Do you guys eat your main meal at dinner time or mid-day more like Thanksgiving?

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  20. Like Hank, no Christmas disasters, a Thanksgiving disaster. With multiple family members over for the day, the toilets backed up. Had to call a plumber (at holiday rates) to roto-rooter the mimosa tree roots out of the sewer line. At least all the food was good!

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  21. Ingrid, we sort of shoot for mid-afternoon. We don't always make it:-)

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  22. Ingrid everyone usually arrives for a big brunch around 11. Full English breakfast plus breads and smoked salmon and fruit salad etc. We have tea and mince pies around 4 and our big meal around seven. At tea time we have the tradition of the tree. There are small presents around the tree (from the tree, apparently) and we open them. When I was a child they really were small presents--a little puzzle, a pair of socks etc--until my father put a gold watch for my mother in the pair of stockings he always gave her. Now the presents aren't always so small. We like surprising each other occasionally.

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  24. Well, we had our Christmas stress event yesterday and into this morning. My husband was traveling home to western Kentucky from Leavenworth, Kansas. I-70 across Missouri was a disaster. Ice, Ice Baby indeed. With multiple wrecks, the interstate was closed at different points, his first wait was three hours not moving. Luckily, he had fueled up and had plenty of gas. He got off once because he hadn't had anything to drink for hours (he usually keeps drinks in car), and the area he was in, New Florence, Missouri, was a solid sheet of ice. He wanted to get off at a rest stop, but it was blocked because it was full. Oh, and no hotel/motel vacancies. I was talking to him through it all, up to 2 in the morning, when he managed to pull into a rest stop and rest for about an hour. I'm glad he was able to keep his patience, as it would take an hour and a half to move a couple of miles. Keeping track online of his location was interesting. I even found a video of someone traveling a certain part of his route, so I could tell him what was ahead. He did arrive home this morning around a quarter to seven. So, now he is home for Christmas, safe and sound.

    Hallie, I'm looking forward to your latke recipe, and enjoy the grandkids. Debs, what a special Christmas it will be having Wren in the family now. Hank, so funny now, but I'm sure it was most frustrating then.

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  25. Grace mentioned the 2013 ice storm in Toronto. But I came off much better.

    Most of the city and surrounding areas lost power in the early hours of the 22nd. I was comfortable with candles and my fireplace, and got my power back the morning of the 24th, and my daughter's house, where we were all spending the evening and night of Xmas Eve (with fireplace and candles and barbeque) was back at 10 pm. We all took pictures of the Christmas trees in their refound glory, knowing how lucky we were.

    Others didn't get power back until much later. The Hydro workers, bless them, worked 24/7 all through Christmas and New Year's and for weeks after.

    So not a disaster for us, but a disaster averted. I'm sorry to hear you were less fortunate, Grace.

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  26. Oh, gosh, Kathy! I'm glad your husband made it home safely.

    Aren't cell phones a godsend? When my middle daughter was in college in the Boston area (Olin), she often drove back through Pennsylvania and New York with heavy snow. A couple of times she called and I rerouted her by checking weather online, and once I almost had to call a tow truck for her when her car slid (gently) into a snowbank. Fortunately, a kind plow operator hauled her out, and refused to accept her (last) ten dollars.

    She learned a valuable lesson that day: even though you can get Mom on the phone, you still might need more than a couple bucks in your pocket if you're driving 700 miles.

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  27. Dinner time for us, Ingrid. Much less stress. And if the meal is at 2-ish, I always think the rest of the day is lost. PLus, much less getting up early. Plus,for some weird metabolic reason, I can't drink wine if it is not dark outside.

    Kathy, whew. Diane, yeesh. xoxoo

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  28. I can't think of any real disasters, just some funny experiences. I was a new bride in Okinawa, planning my first Thanksgiving. On Wednesday before Thanksgiving, the power company announced they were suspending power the next day to do line maintenance. Well, I thought, I will get up at 5 AM to cook the turkey and hope folks like cold dishes.. fortunately many someones contacted the power company. About 5 hours later the announcement came saying in effect. never mind.

    Hank, I have also had the pleasure of eating a turkey that had a slight plastic taste due to the innards hiding in the cavity. My solution? Lots and lots of cranberry sauce + telling the cook she would laugh about this one day.

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  29. I live in Texas, but one year I made plans to go back up to my hometown in Missouri to have Christmas with all my relatives who still lived up there. The trip north was easy, and we made it to my mother's house with no problems. When it began to snow on Christmas Eve, I thought it must be the most perfect Christmas ever. But it didn't stop snowing. On Christmas Day, Mom, my husband and I all got to open our presents for each other, but the big Christmas gift of the year--a quilt I had made for my niece--was put on hold because it was too snowy for my sister's family to travel to Mom's house. As the snow kept falling, one relative after another cancelled our plans, and after a while not even my Texas-bred dogs wanted to go out in the snow anymore. Three days later we were running out of food, running out of conversation, and running out of things to do, but we still hadn't run out of snow. When the white stuff finally took a half-day break to let the sun out, my husband convinced me the roads would be clear enough to get back to Texas, and we made a run for it. He wasn't exactly wrong. The interstate had been plowed, and there was nearly always at least one clear lane, but nobody had cleared the exit or on-ramps, so food and potty breaks were real white-knuckle, take-your-life-in-your-hands experiences. Still, we made it home at last, and trips like that are great for retelling, once you're safe and warm.

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  30. Thanksgiving event here: the table was set for dinner and for a brief moment the dining room was empty. The dachshund seized the time. When someone walked into the room they found the wiener dog on the table, standing in the pumpkin pie and eating the turkey.

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  31. Two for me, no make that three - two at my parent's house. My father was a master turkey smoker and he did it in this little aluminum grill with a cover. Well, Turkey Day arrived with near zero temps and wind. Only half the turkey cooked, the side facing the wind was raw as raw could be. Dad, with amazing aplomb, sliced up the "good" half of the turkey and served it, never mentioning the bloody carcass half he left in the grill!

    Then there was the Christmas that Mom and Dad had too much Christmas cheer. They left the roast in the oven way too long and my family of rare (read barely cooked) beef eaters were left with well-done shoe leatherish meat. Everyone except my great grandmother pushed the awful thing around their plate and ate everything else. Great grandmother looked around and said, "Don't you have any sharper knives, or should we put this on the bandsaw." Gotta love a farmer's wife.

    I used to host 20 for all holidays when I worked with a police agency. Anyone in service could drop by whenever and would have a plate of food waiting. Because most appetizers could be made in advance, I made six or seven of them and put them out around the house so guests could nibble and chat. I had a German shorthaired pointer at the time---I had made a parmesan basil cheese ball that I always put in a crock instead of making into a ball. During one pass to refresh crackers and veggie sticks, I noticed the cheese had a valley in the middle, in the perfect shape of a dog's tongue. I scooped up the crock and secreted it in the kitchen, but I did wonder how many guests had partaken before I saw it.

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  32. Jeanie - Hysterical! And I can visualize it.

    Hank - What is it with the wine and dark thing. Me too. Never figured it out and thought I was alone.

    Kathy - OMG - so glad he made it home safe!

    Loving all the stories, and the love that shines through them all.

    Hallie, me either for the onions. Looking forward to your recipe. Isn't a Cuisinart a godsend for the grating!

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  33. Love the stories! And, Kathy, so glad your husband made it home safely. I read your FB post right before bed and tossed and turned all night worrying about him!

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  34. Thanksgiving event here: the table was set for dinner and for a brief moment the dining room was empty. The dachshund seized the time. When someone walked into the room they found the wiener dog on the table, standing in the pumpkin pie and eating the turkey.

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