Friday, May 5, 2017

Parley Vous Murder? A guest post from Susan Shea

RHYS: Have you ever had any horrible language mix-ups when you are abroad? I've had my share. I think the funniest was when John had a bout of tourist tummy in France once. We were staying with his cousin and the doctor was called to the house. John prepared for this visit by checking with the dictionary and announced to the doctor that something was wrong with his stool. ONLY... the word he used meant the wooden, three-legged kind of stool, not the other one. The doctor was quite amused.
 My guest today is my good friend Susan Shea who is launching a new series set it Burgandy, France. Think wine, food, old chateaux and a body or two. Perfect combination, right? So welcome, Susan. 

SUSAN SHEA : Hi Jungle Reds…although that conjures up some of my favorite writers decked out in leopard skins and red wigs, so maybe it’s not the best way for a guest to greet you all.


Rhys and I were having lunch and laughing about the trouble you can get in when you know just a little bit of another language. She told me about going into an Italian butcher shop and proudly ordering “pollo.” When she unwrapped it at her vacation house, it was, indeed, a dead chicken, complete with head and feet! She found out later, if you want it dressed, you must say something different. My first foray to France a few decades ago was delightful as long as we wanted to eat “cent grams” of pâté every day. I had no idea how to order less. One hundred grams worth is nice for one full meal, but it doesn’t leave much room for any of the hundred cheeses at the shop next door, never mind the confections at the patisserie.

You might infer that since I’ve just written two novels about an American couple who have moved to a tiny French town and are learning to cope, my French is much better now. Don’t. After more years than I care to remember of school French, after six trips, after language tapes and short immersions, I am still struggling to communicate beyond ordering food, begging people’s pardon, and explaining in halting French that I am not at the Gendarmerie to report a murder, I am there to ask a question for my fictional story about murder. “J’ecris meutres et mysteres.” Of course I say this so s-l-o-w-l-y that the bright eyed woman at the desk shoots me looks that suggest I have already overstayed my welcome.

Language is such a tricky thing. That theme runs through Love & Death in Burgundy and the follow-up book that will come out next year. In real life, two things trip me up all the time. The French speak quickly, well, actually at warp speed. Even if I figure out the first part of the sentence, I’m playing catch-up for the rest and frequently miss the point. The French also, like everyone in every language, use idioms, so even if by some lucky chance I’m doing really well, I go off the rails when someone says she makes “les doights dans le nez.” I understand these simple words: fingers in the nose. Why would someone brag about that? Ah, because it’s one of several idioms that means whatever she was talking about was easy to do.

I was thinking about American English idioms that probably make as much sense as the nose reference does…
Easy as pie
Knock on wood
Twisting my arm
Fat chance

RHYS: You'll notice Susan used the expression "Off the rails!"
What language mix-ups and triumphs have you had? What languages have you mastered? There’s comfort in not being alone, so share, please!

And Susan has let me know that she has a signed copy of Love and Death in Burgundy to give away to one lucky commenter!

51 comments:

  1. Your new series sounds like great fun, Susan . . . I’ll be delighted to add your book to one of my teetering to-be-read piles . . . .

    My junior high/high school French was so long ago I fear I’ve forgotten any bit of that beautiful language that I actually learned in those classes. I’m afraid there’s no mastering of languages around here these days, but I will admit to being at least minimally competent in sign language . . . .

    ReplyDelete
  2. John and I took our first Spanish classes this winter--it was really hard! Made French look like a "piece of cake".

    But I want to hear more about Love and Death in Burgundy!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love the premise of your series, Susan. The books are going on the TBR list.

    I was an exchange student in Brazil at age 17 and made several memorable goofs as I learned Portuguese by immersion for a year. I called the grandmother in the family an egg (the two words sounded almost identical and I hadn't seen either written yet), and announced I had gotten a good grade on the soap instead of the quiz. In my two years in Japan I was ever confusing bridge and chopsticks (really, only a tone separates them), and I know when I speak French my advanced verb tenses are a mess. But none of that stops me from trying to communicate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sign language, Spanish, Portuguese...there's so much to learn and so little time!

      Delete
  4. A few years ago we were in Pau The south of France, and I decided I could rent a car. In French. I don't remember what ensued, exactly, and all was fine, but I had a little problem with the verb "to rent" which I think is louer and "to sell" which is vender -- so I came out and said to Jonathan, I either just rented a car for $25 a day, or bought a car for $25,000. I knew it was one or the other.

    Yes, Susan, tell us more about the book!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is my fear too. I once ordered an entire wheel of cheese instead of a small wedge. Fortunately, since the wheel was about 30 pounds, the man didn't take me seriously. He thought I was making a joke, laughed heartily, and turned to help another customer. I never got any cheese but he saluted me and was already retelling my wonderful joke as I slunk away, hungry.

      Delete
  5. Since I worked for the Canadian federal government, I had to pass my three French tests (1 oral, 2 written/reading) again when I moved back to Ottawa. For whatever reason, we learn the Parisian (continental) French in school, not the Quebecois French so I have not had any problems communicating when in France. My two years of university German were sufficient enough for me to read and say simple phrases while in Germany, Switzerland and Austria but fluent enough for any prolonged conversation (or to get in trouble).

    Edith: I change the way I say my name (Koshida) when I am in Japan vs North America. Different emphasis on the first syllable. It's very subtle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I figured you would get it, Edith. I also don't use my Western first name while in Japan. I use my middle name (Izumi) instead of Grace since my relatives have a hard time saying it. I feel like a different person when I'm there!

      Delete
  6. When I was working in Puerto Rico, I used to try to practice my schoolhouse Spanish with my local co-workers. They were very nice and didn't laugh (much) when they corrected me.

    But I got really good at ordering breakfast every morning!

    The book sounds fabulous, Susan.

    Mary/Liz

    ReplyDelete
  7. Can't say I ever had a mix-up with a foreign language since I've never been abroad, but I did make a horrible-funny mistake on a college essay test. No idea now what I was writing about but I had intended to say something about an organism. Yes, you are right, I left out 2 letters and wrote orgasm. Don't know how I could have done such a thing. The professor did notice and used her red pen to insert the missing letters. My face still burns.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have a severe hearing loss so foreign languages are very difficult for me. I can only imagine the trouble I's get into trying to speak French. LOL. I'm looking forward to reading this series, Susan.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The only mix up I've had with foreign languages was making the mistake of taking French in high school. I was so incredibly bad at it that I think I'm legally barred from attempting to speak it...ever.

    In fact, the only thing I ever really mastered in the French language was how to say "I can't speak French". And that was taught to me by a math teacher.

    Truth be told, I have better luck with fake languages like Klingon and Elvish.

    My lack of skills with foreign language (though some might question my ability to use English as well) also leads to food issues. If I can't say or spell a meal easily, I'm not eating it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes I think my French IS a fake language, Jay!

      Delete
    2. I know my attempts certainly would qualify as fake.

      Delete
  10. What a great topic! Susan, I notice the French do speak at a warp speed! Even when they speak English, they speak that way too. Reminds me of when I was living on the East Coast. I shared a house with 50 other women, Several were from the southern states of the USA. Several were from other countries like France. This was another lifetime ago when I relied on lipreading. I apologized to the French lady because I could not lipread her (she spoke too fast) and she apologized to me because she had a hard time with the English language. However, when I spoke to people with Southern accents, since I could not hear the accents and they spoke slower than New Yorkers, I had an easier time lip reading them. I remember someone from one of the Western states said she could not understand people from the South. I thought to myself that sometimes a hearing loss can us used to an advantage.

    I remember meeting a deaf man, who told me that the Spanish language is easier to lipread than the English language.

    I get the mix up with word. I remember when I was watching a beauty pageant, I accidentally said beauty pregnant. LOL

    Learning a foreign language for me was easier than learning math. I remember when I was a kid, there was a teacher from a deaf school in France visiting my class. Our teacher asked us to guess which country she came from. I asked France? The visitor was surprised! Our teacher asked me how I knew. The funny thing is that I had just finished reading a children's book about France. There was a photo of Mona Lisa at the Louvre. I said the lady looked like Mona Lisa. Actually, Mona Lisa was Italian, not French! I learned a few words in French like cinq for five and fille for girl. I wanted to learn more French. I was at a used book sale with a relative and I wanted to buy a French English dictionary. I told the relative that I wanted to learn French and the relative told me that I needed to learn English first, Now I think it is because the relative was upset that this person struggled to learn Sign Language when signing was easy for me. I think children have an easier time learning languages.

    A deaf friend was visiting France. People warned her that the French are critical about how people say the French words. This friend was hilarious. She said "since I am deaf, that does not apply to me. I can always say I cannot hear how the words are said." She communicated by sign language or writing notes.

    Years later, I visited France with a tour group. Part of the time, we were on our own. I remember writing notes or inventing signs. To my surprise, the people I met in France were kind.

    I took high school French language classes and earned excellent grades. In college, it was a different story. When I finally took college level French (after finishing the required classes for graduation), it was challenging. It had been a while since my high school French. I had a hard time with the le and the la aspect of the French language.

    On another note, the topic about mix up in languages reminded me of a scene in Four Weddings and A Funeral. A lady said "Mice to meet you" when she meant to say "Nice to meet you".

    Susan, your book sounds wonderful! I would love to hear more about your novel set in France.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love & Death in Burgundy centers around an American couple, she a painter and he a musician, who pick up stakes and move to a tiny hamlet in France on a whim and with very little money. What sounded bohemian and romantic from their home in L.A. turns out to be somewhat more complicated as they struggle to become part of a small, parochial community where most people speak only French and have been farming - and gossiping - for generations. It's a bit of Jane Austen's insular world setting, some of A Year in Provence's struggles between cultures, and, of course, a generous dash of Miss Marple because someone dies, bien sur!

      Delete
  11. Just remembered something else. I met several deaf teachers from France. The French Sign Language is the "father" of the American Sign Language. Though there are some differences. It took me a while to understand what the French signers were saying.

    On the note about the French speaking really fast, I was reminded of something. When I was with the European tour, I had one cochlear implant so I could hear more by that time. Our tour leader warned me when we were in Florence, Italy, that the tour leader spoke English really fast. To my surprise, I could understand her because she spoke clearly. Even if she spoke fast, she spoke clearly. Some people, who speak at warp speed, also speak as if they are speaking with clenched teeth.

    When our tour group arrived in Rome, Italy, I noticed that our Roman tour guide used gestures more. It was not sign language, though. The gestures helped me follow what she was saying.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The only language gaffe I can think of (among many I've no doubt repressed), was when we were in Tanzania. Nearly everyone speaks English, Swahili, and their own tribal language (many, many tribes there). Even little kids herding cattle in the middle of the Serengeti can speak two or three languages, it's embarrassing.

    Our guide, who speaks six languages, was trying to teach us American blockheads some simple phrases to say to each other, and to the staff at each lodge (we went to six, two nights at each). Every evening they said good night to us, a beautiful phrase meaning "peaceful sleep", and which I thought was "Dar es Salaama". Which is a city in Tanzania. The actual phrase is " La la es salaama".

    I give the Maasai and other staff a lot of credit for not cracking up right in my face.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn't it amazing that people around the world find ways to speak to each other no matter where their first languages began? We traveled in Indonesia where "Bahasa Indonesia" is the common language, a rather simple trading language developed to allow people from these hundreds of islands with their own local languages communicate.

      Delete
    2. Yes, and like pidgen, a sort of universal language that sailors had to use.

      Delete
  13. I know foreign languages aren't my strong suit. I have such a hard time with pronunciation that anything I saw could wind up being bad.

    Heck, some days I'm not sure I've mastered English.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I took French all through school, except they did not teach conversational French, so I just conjugated and translated and remember being driven crazy by the subjunctive tense. When I was in Paris, the bellman, who had charge of all of the room keys, would only give me my key if I asked for it in French. It was something like 87, and of course in French counting you say eighty as 20 times four then add what ever single digit you want. So it was quatre van sept (sorry about the spelling!) Well, I of course had learned how to count with all the conjugation and translation that was drilled into me, so I aced that, much to his surprise. I also remember going into a store and asking where I could buy juice, and getting a long very "warp speed" response. I just kept nodding, and we when we left, my friend asked what he had said, and I said that I had no idea. Oh well.

    I found that in Italy, they were much more relaxed about their language and encouraged us to learn to speak it. I loved all the gestures they used, and started learning Italian -- so, so easy after French!

    My language faux pas was when I was in Israel, and our Arabic tour guide and bus driver were trying to teach me to say something innocuous like "how are you," and they kept laughing every time I said the word. Apparently I was asking if it was their time of the month. They also taught me something they said was an appropriate formal greeting, which actually turned out to be "Hello baby, you're beautiful, I love you."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To be fair, the language gaffe you made in Israel is at least complimentary after a fashion. Better than trying to say something nice and finding out you've insulted someone's entire familial lineage.

      Delete
    2. I was boarding a plane in Hong Kong once and a young aAsian woman in line had on a tee shirt that said something obscene in English. I'm sure she had no idea. When I got home, I asked a Chinese friend to translate the lovely Chinese characters on the tee shirt souvenirs I had purchased to be sure I wasn't about to create a similar faux pas.

      Delete
  15. Susan, darling! So happy to see you here! Can I just say how much I love this book, and will you PLEASE tell everyone more about it????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi dear Deb! Love & Death in Burgundy begins with a lunch Katherine Goff has decided on as a way to insinuate herself into the closed little world of Reigny-sur-Canne. It goes horribly wrong when an elderly aristocrat smashes a plate over the head of the local bookseller, a rakish man who has dropped the aristocrat's daughter in favor of a wealthy American woman who is culturally tone deaf. When the older man is found dead on the stone stairs of his chateau, the gossip begins. Katherine is drawn deeper and deeper into the small town's secrets, as is a clueless young English woman who fancies herself a mystery writer. A motherless teenager, a malicious French widow, a brash music producer..everyone in this crossroads village is caught up in the drama. Michael, Katherine's husband, who speaks not a word of French, comments on the foolishness but tries to rein in his wife's determination to play detective.

      Delete
  16. I taught French and Italian when I was a graduate student, ran the Casa Italiana at NYU for several years, and lived for a year and a half in India, so I've uttered my share of embarrassing faux amis over the years. For instance, if you're talking about healthy food with the parents of your Italian girlfriend, don't tell them that canned foods in America are loaded with "preservativi." That means prophylactics. It works both ways, though. I still laugh at a French friend's literal translation of an idiomatic French phrase in English. If he was annoyed and had had enough, he would exclaim, "It's the end of the beans!" "C'est la fin des haricots !"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I spent some time researching slang, both on Google and with a couple of French friends. But it's dicey. I used a term - verge - that can mean the green edge of a road where it meets the grass, or slang for a dirty old man. Both Google and one friend said, yes, they knew it. The other French friend had never heard it!

      Delete
    2. Verge is also a slang term for penis.

      Delete
    3. Interesting to note that most, if not all, slang for penis are feminine in French. Verge, queue, bite. All feminine.

      Delete
    4. I knew 'verge' was feminine in this instance but not that most are. It is strange and I have no idea why genders are assigned. When I first studied French, I was surprised that both dog and cat were masculine, I guess because my felines were always females!

      Delete
  17. Hi, Susan, I am so very excited to read your book. I've been on a real France kick lately, watching the election and studying up on all things France for a future trip. So the timing of your visit is just perfect. I've spent years studying Spanish and can get along pretty well in Mexico. I studied Russian in college and am still waiting to use it. I did a quick immersion into Italian for a trip to Italy years ago, and like you said in your post, I found mostly I was fluent in asking for help - per favore - and then doing a lot of gesturing. Looking forward to Love and Death in Burgundy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks. It's always the right time for a trip to France for me! One thing I've noticed in the years since I began visiting that lovely country is that Parisians have become less dismissive of my American-accented, stumbling French, and the people who live in the rural communities understand more English. Is that TV, do you think, or that the French travel more outside France than they did 40 years ago? Whatever, I am less intimidated and so have had many more wonderful experiences.

      Delete
  18. Hi Susan -- congratulations!! You must be so happy the book is finally here. :-)

    I had so many gaffes while living in South America -- in both Spanish and Portuguese -- but I can't remember them now. What I remember are the gaffes in my native language while visiting Ireland. First and foremost, asking a guy if he'd give me a ride. Rather than say "a lift," because a "ride" is a tumble between the sheets. Thank goodness, he knew what I meant, but he laughed his arse off and told all his fella friends in the pub we were hanging out in what I'd said.

    The term "craic" threw me for a loop the first time I heard it. The sentence was, "How's the craic?" said to someone who entered the pub (yes, spend a lot of time in pubs; it's where I hear all the good stuff :-)), and my first thought was that there was a drug deal about to go down. Hah!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lisa! If you're learning Gaelic, my hat's off to you. I learned a bit at university but the mismatch between what's on the page and what you hear when Irish is spoken aloud is great. Love your Irish mysteries....

      Delete
  19. Your book sounds fun, Susan! I mangled German in H.S. and Spanish in college. Now I mix them up. If I need a word in Spanish, the German one pops up miraculously. As in I probably never knew that word so why do I know it now? The only out-and-out gaffe I can remember is ordering off the wall menu at a Burger King somewhere in Quebec. Ham and cheese. Easy. Jamon and fromage. Except I pronounced jamon as if it were Spanish. The girl taking my order just stared at me. Let's hope I didn't say something disgusting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn't that odd? I do that too. In Italy, searching (fruitlessly) for a word, I talk to myself in French: "Quel est le mot...?" There's undoubtedly a brain reason for this.

      Delete
    2. Yep. I think it is scrambled brain syndrome.

      Delete
  20. Hi, Susan! So happy to see you here on my favorite writers' blog. I so enjoy being FB friends and following your posts there. I must tell you how much I love the cover of Love & Death in Burgundy. It is a book I would pick up solely for the cover, but Katherine's story is equally intriguing.

    My language story deals with coming from two different parts of a state. I grew up in northeastern Kentucky, in a beautiful little town that was more Southern than the places within an hour's drive, Cincinnati, Ohio and Ashland, Kentucky. Our bridge actually touted the sign, "Gateway to the South." So, some of my language and foods and such are much more Southern than western Kentucky, where I moved when I married. My hometown also has some carry-over from Appalachia, such as English (the country) influences. So, many years ago, my mother-in-law and I stopped at a little hamburger joint to eat for lunch. We had been shopping, and I asked her if she wanted me to put the packages in the boot. She looked at me like I was from either a foreign country or outer space. I thought to myself that could it be she didn't know what the boot of a car was, so I said the trunk, and she immediately relaxed the puzzled look on her face. We laughed about it and went on in to order our lunch. She ordered her hamburger "through the garden," and I frantically searched the wall menu for that item, which was obviously a hamburger in a salad or some such oddity. I worked up the courage to ask her what it was, and we got another good laugh as she told me that it meant a hamburger with all the fixings. So, I didn't have to go abroad to have a language mix-up. Hahaha!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Kathy! Thanks - the cover is pretty nice, I have to say. The St Martins folks captured the feel of a summer evening in Burgundy, with just the littlest hint of trouble!

      You're so right. This is a big country and people have immigrated here from everywhere in the world, migrated to regions, to communities and to neighborhoods where over generations they salt English with accents and expressions and introduce us to their own vocabularies. I have lived in New England, New York, Maryland, California and everywhere I go I listen for - and cherish - both the dialects and the local slang. We are lucky even if we have to scratch our heads from time to time! I love your examples.

      Delete
  21. I took French in high school, but most of it has left me now. I can usually pull out the correct answers for a crossword puzzle, so I guess there's that! And I know what you mean about how native speakers speak so fast! I am sure English sounds just as garbled to them at times.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Yes, I'm sure too. But then there's the cliche of the American who thinks speaking louder and s-l-o-w-l-y as if to a deaf child (or their concept of a deaf child since deaf children are fluent and flexible in my limited experience) is going to help. So perhaps there's a middle ground. But my French friends don't think we speak quickly. In fact, one woman who teaches English to french business people says she reassures her students that we don't speak as rapidly as do the French. Thanks for stopping by to comment!

    ReplyDelete
  23. The biggest language fail I can remember is when I traveled to Paris with my family many years ago, and we had dinner in a little out-of-the-way restaurant. We ordered, and the food that appeared bore no resemblance to what we thought we had ordered! We never figured out if our French was that terrible or if the chef made an executive decision about what the Americans should eat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not so much a language fail but when I told a waiter that, yes, I knew tripe was in the dish and that I liked tripe, the chef was so delighted he doubled the amount of tripe in my bowl. Sadly, that became the last time I ordered (or liked) tripe. Thanks, Ingrid, for stopping by JRW today.

      Delete
  24. It really is amazing that anyone learns American English!
    I tried to take Italian in college, but kept translating the English to Spanish, then to Italian. It was not pretty. I dropped the class.
    libbydodd at comcast dot net

    ReplyDelete
  25. This probably is a language fail. I've prided myself on keeping up with my French--five years in high school and two years in college. Kept up a bit of reading and speaking, although not terribly much. Two years ago, hub and I went to Montreal. Whee! I think. That French is not wasted--they'll think I'm a native. SNORT! Things would go just fairly well with my French (although I'm sure they were invisibly rolling their eyes and thinking 'Anglais!') until the point when I was given an answer to a question that I wasn't expecting. I must have looked like I was concentrating just a bit too hard on the answer to be a fluent speaker. And so, the other person would switch to absolutely perfect English. Ah well.

    Susan, your book sounds like so much fun--I loved hearing about the cast of characters! It's on my TBR list, for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thanks, Melanie. You can always give me feedback on www.susancshea.com or my Author page on Facebook if you have any thoughts after reading L&D.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Thank you, Rhys and JRW authors, for inviting me to spend the day with the Jungle Red Writers community. I loved everyone's stories and it was fun to meet a few Francophiles! I live at www.susancshea.com, where an excerpt of the new book is posted and where I maintain a page called "All Things France!" Drop by and visit any time. Merci beaucoup!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Susan, I so empathize! My new Cory Goodwin mystery "Another Number for the Road" is coming out Bastille Day, since it's set mostly in Paris & small-town France with a soupcon of EuroDisney. I look forward to reading yours! My favorite betise was a chat with a French village bus driver -- one of those encouraging moments when you feel brilliantly fluent, until you realize that he didn't say he HAS an American wife, he said he WANTS an American wife, & now you're fending off an enthusiastic suitor. See you at SinC . . . marchons, marchons!

    ReplyDelete