Friday, October 12, 2018

Think Good Thoughts

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I'm on a bit of a news fast again, as I found myself flipping past the New York Times and saying "Lalala I can't hear you!" when NPR came on. I've also decided to try to be more positive about the small things in my life, and to practice gratitude. Mindfully, since that's the word these days, although really, what's the alternative? Distractedly? Unconsciously? Any way, here's what I'm thankful for:

Taking my bra off in the evening. I don't care how generously endowed or not you are, this is the best part of every day. Ahhhh. If men had to hook themselves into contraptions of metal, elastic and lace, they'd be even grumpier than they are.

The onset of cold weather (after a weird 36-hour detour into summer up here in New England.) I love the cool weather of October - it's nippy enough to luxuriate in wool sweaters and savor mugs of hot cocoa, but not so hot that I need to lug wood upstairs every day to keep the wood stoves constantly stoked.  Related gratitude for: stews, squash soup and apple cider.

Speaking of food stuff, I'm grateful for my community support agriculture share. I love driving out to Bumbleroot Farm every Wednesday and returning with a sack full of interesting organic veggies and a gorgeous bouquet. I'm going to be sad when it ends right before Thanksgiving, because I'm pretty sure I'm going to revert to my standbys and eat nothing but butternut squash and frozen peas all winter long.

I'm so thankful for my local library for keeping me from spending my mortgage payment money on books. I've recently read Vox, by Christina Dalcher, The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells, and Only Beloved by Mary Balogh. (That's dystopia, space opera and Regency romance, if you're keeping track. Yes, I'm avoiding mysteries. Why? Because I feel guilty about not finishing my own!)

Ugh, now I'm off track. What else am I grateful for? Ah.  I'm happy that now I'm post-menopausal, I'm not growing hair anyplace any more and can go for weeks between shaving my legs. Freedom! I'm even more grateful I'm not like a friend of mine who got more hirsute after the change and now has a standing appointment with an aesthetician to have hairs violently removed from her upper lip.

I'm grateful I found a forever home for Frank the Foster Dog. If you've been following me on Twitter or my Facebook, you will recall I wound up fostering a Wheaton Terrier despite my stated intention of adopting a dog-free lifestyle. After two months that involved a LOT of barking and several meet and greets that come to nothing, we found a wonderful young family with two little boys that love Frank and his little quirks (barking, trying to kill cats.) They get a well-trained, affectionate pet, and I get to skip walking a dog first thing in the morning. #Blessed

I'm not entirely without furry friends, however, and I'm grateful my young lodger Samantha's cat has been catching and killing mice. I'm hoping my older cat will get inspired. I'd much rather pick up a tiny corpse with paper towels than have to  - shudder - empty the mouse traps. 

I'm grateful everything is going well for all three of my children. Suspicious, but grateful. 

I'm grateful to my friends Victor and Celia (who comments here!) for inviting me to see the Metropolitan Opera simulcast at the local movie theater. It was one of those things I always vaguely meant to do but probably wouldn't without a push - or a pull, as it were. The production was spectacularmazing AND the seats were 800 times more comfortable than any theater seats I've ever parked my behind in for a live opera or symphony concert.

Finally, I'm grateful - so grateful - to be out of mourning, to be back in the world doing professional appearances and publicly socializing, to be looking up and feeling excited about the possibilities ahead. Possibilities that will not be limited by having to find a dog sitter! Yay!

How about you, dear readers? What are you feeling grateful for these days?

55 comments:

  1. I’m grateful for cooler weather [although my plants are confused and both the Easter lily and the lilac bush are blooming now], for a garden that’s still giving us fresh vegetables.
    There’s always so much to be grateful for: life and health and family and grandbabies and friends and lots of books to read . . . .

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    1. That's crazy, Joan! I just saw a tulip magnolia in bloom in Columbus, Ohio last week, too. Weird nature things going on.

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  2. What a lovely post, Julia! It's nice to stop every now and then to reflect on the fact that we've got it not so bad. I'm always grateful for my friends, my job, my critters, and my awesome critter-sitter friend. These past few weeks I've been grateful for cooler weather, and rain to break the summer's drought. That rain brought a surprise this year--a sudden bounty of red spider lilies at my front doorstep. I've known since I moved in that some kind of bulb lurks in the garden there, but it never bloomed, and I had no idea what it was. This year, thanks to the rain, they bloomed, and turned out to be an old-fashioned plant that only blooms when there are heavy rains at the autumnal equinox. Now I know!

    I'm grateful for this house in general, since it's just what I wanted, right where I wanted to be, and affordable in a town where real estate prices rose to astonishing levels right after I bought it. I couldn't buy here, now, on my salary. And, hearing you speak of lugging wood upstairs, I'm now deeply grateful for central heat and air.

    Mostly, these days, I'm grateful for art, and the disposable income to buy it. I have been putting mine up around the house, and it is giving me incentive to get after those unpacked boxes and un-renovated spaces.

    As always, I am also grateful for books and the people who write them. Thank you all for sharing your imagination with me.

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    1. I had an odd bloom this year as well, Gigi - a few hollyhocks I didn't even know were there in a side be behind the kitchen. I don't know if Ross planted the bulbs and they finally got old enough, or what, but it was a pretty if unexpected sight.

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    2. Isn't it fun to get surprise flowers from the past? Hollyhocks grow from seeds, but seeds can lie dormant in the soil for a while. They're such pretty, old-fashioned flowers. I'd love to see some of those come up unexpectedly! Maybe it was Ross, saying hello.

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  3. Aww. I'm grateful you are out of mourning, too.

    And that my older son is blissfully MARRIED to a woman who is perfect for him, and he for her. I'm grateful I get to write books for a living, even when it's hard. Grateful somebody here (Debs, perhaps) turned me on to Solmate socks (wearing a pair now!). For dark roast coffee. For fresh local apples. For still being able to walk fast for an hour. And for the Reds!

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    1. My son is back with his girlfriend we all love and I am SO happy. It makes such a difference.

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  4. A lovely reminder to all of us, and happy for you that you can see and write it. Thank you. Me? a daughter, son in law and 2 small (5 and 2 1/2) grandgirls are with us until renovation of new apt is complete. This is disruptive, noisy, cluttered, bad for writing progress. And HOW lucky are we to have two adorable, endlessly amusing, healthy , smart little girls in our lives? (Plus one cheerful baby boy not far away?)And older grandparents as we are, enough health and energy to enjoy them? And kids who are even willing to live with us? Yes, and it's almost fall weather here. :-)

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    1. It's always lovely to have them around, Triss, especially when you know they'll go away eventually...:-)

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  5. Julia, it is nice to read that you are out of mourning.


    Speaking of grumpiness, I'm usually pretty grumpy but given how many of my female Facebook friends talk about feeling so great after taking their bra off at the end of the day, I'm likely a grumpy amateur.


    But I do have plans to meet my childhood grumpiness idol this weekend when I'll be taking a photo with Oscar the Grouch at a convention I'm going too.


    As for what I'm grateful for...well the basics of course, roof over head, food in the belly, a job that pays the bills. Otherwise, the various writings I do is pretty much my focus these days. So I'm grateful that I have the various outlets to do the writing. And there's the few friends I consider important enough to have in my life.


    I'm happily not pursuing any relationships so I'm grateful to not be wasting time on that anymore. Perhaps that is odd to be grateful for, but that's the truth of matters these days.

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    1. Don't think that's odd at all, Jay. I'm not dating and have no intentions to get back in that pool. There's a great satisfaction in focusing on your own self.

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  6. Oh, I think about this all the time,… The other day we were outside, and Jonathan said: what are you doing? And I said: looking at the sky. Try to be present, and understand what it means to “stop and smell the roses. “ Things like that. I’m also grateful for reading your wonderful post this morning… It starts the day off perfectly!

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  7. This is something I often do... just stop and savor being comfortable or satisfied or in a good place. Though you know Julia we're ALL waiting for that book...

    I'm grateful for my grandchildren. Rambunctious opinionated funny and delicious. And my daughters. SO grateful for that we all get along. I'm grateful that yesterday I made granola and pineapple upside down cake and that there was still leftover charcoal in the grill to cook swordfish. And yes, as Jay points out, the basics. How fortunate every one of us is to live the way we do. And for every laugh and giggle...

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  8. Lovely, Julia. I, too, am so happy to hear that you are out of mourning and savoring the moment. I must confess a bit of envy about the hair situation, though, as I am more like your friend. Haven't made the plunge to getting waxed yet, but...

    I am grateful for my wonderful husband and that we both enjoy good health, and still really enjoy each other's company. I'm grateful that our son, who turns 25 in a few weeks and has battled depression and other mental health challenges since age 9, is a self-supporting college graduate doing work he finds meaningful and generally successfully "adulting." I'm grateful that my 90-year-old mother-in-law, after a bout of health challenges in late summer, is back in her home living independently again. I'm grateful for my church friends, who are always there for me. I'm grateful for art and theater and music and all the wonderful, creative people who make them. I am especially grateful that our 17-year-old nephew has come through the sudden discovery of a brain tumor and surgery to remove it remarkably well, with his whole bright future still open to him.

    Last but not least, I am grateful for all the JRW writers, the wonderful books you produce, and the community you have built here that gives me such a lovely place to start most days!

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    1. Susan, you have a lot of wonderful going on! And my friend with the aesthetician says after menopause, you either have too much hair where you don't want it, or not enough where you do (on top of your head.)

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  9. Well, besides my family and my (fairly) good health and that of my family I am grateful that my favorite author is hard at work on a new book!
    I'm also grateful that 2 days ago while taking my walk I saw a cardinal fly just overhead and then land in an apple tree nearby. I hadn't seen or heard "my" bird in a long time so that was a thrill for me.
    Extremely grateful that the one inch plus of rain here yesterday was not snow!

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  10. Glad to read you have completed your period of mourning. Although from talking to you at Bouchercon, mourning did not put a damper on your wonderful personality.

    This morning, I am grateful for the fact that the temperature has dipped into the 50s, the site of orange and gold leaves dotting the grass (so pretty), and the fact that although there are two menfolk in my house, neither are up so it is quiet and peaceful. Oh, and I'm very grateful for my sunroom and new desk!

    Mary/Liz

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    1. Laughing at "although there are two menfolk in my house, neither are up so it is quiet and peaceful." Menfolk can definitely qualify as mixed blessings. :-)

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  11. Julia, I'm also grateful for your happier state right now. Hugs, my dear. And I know exactly what you mean about being suspicious for the kids! And I am thankful for our little community, every single day. I mean, in case you couldn't tell.

    Last night I went to an alumni dinner for the Catholic girls' high school I attended--the very last year of the school was my freshman year, so my class is the last of it, and our fiftieth is next year. That alone is worthy of gratitude, but I was able to chauffeur one surviving aunt, and my mother, who, for the third year in a row, was the oldest alumni present, and the only one of her class of 1948 healthy enough to attend. Another aunt was also there, although she didn't know me at first. I was grateful she came out of the fog of dementia long enough to chat with me lucidly for a few minutes. It could very well be the last time, and I'm so glad I happened to be there.

    They started framing our new house this week, and the carpenters are incredible. Construction has been delayed for months because of all the rain, but these guys were worth waiting for.

    Best of all, I'm grateful that my husband and I have hung in there together for all these years, because we are having the best time ever these days. It surprises the hell out of both of us, too.

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  12. A timely reminder, Julia, of a practice I need to be more diligent about--practicing gratitude. It's wonderful to hear from all of you here--that even in difficult times, there are still moments of joy and wonder in our lives. I'm grateful that I can walk every day--yesterday a heron flew up from the creek as I approached the bridge over a small stream. Last night I finally made an apple-berry crisp with a crispy crust! And there's enough left for breakfast today. I'm thankful my nephews are healthy and brave enough to explore the world opening up before them. Like Julia, I'm grateful for my local library or there would be very few books for me to read. Last night I read The Tattoist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris and before that Kate Atkinson's Transcription. And earlier in the week, I snagged William Kent Krueger's Desolation Mountain fresh off the shelves and Anne Perry's Dark Tide Rising--a surfeit of wonderful reading pleasures! And yes, I'm thankful for JRW and all of you here!

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    1. Flora, how was TRANSCRIPTION? I've read good reviews of it. Should I put my name on the hold list at the library?

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    2. Julia, I picked it up because Ann Mason recommended it here on JRW.
      Go ahead and put your name on the hold list--it's an interesting read.

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  13. "I'm happy that now I'm post-menopausal, I'm not growing hair anyplace any more and can go for weeks between shaving my legs. Freedom!"

    Oh Julia, this is brilliant! Not shaving and not buying tampax too!

    I am grateful for many things but mostly for the off button on the media news. Yes, even NPR.

    I am grateful for Judy-Next-Door who has walked my dogs for the past week while I dissolved into mucus with this godawful cold.

    I am most grateful for Met Live in HD. Wasn't Aida amazing? Especially from the comfort of a theater recliner, complete with popcorn.

    I do spent the rent on books, and I am grateful for the wherewithal to do so, at least for now. I
    this week I finished LETHAL WHITE by Robert Galbraith, good but too long for comfort, WRECKED by Joe Ide, very good, continuing tale of IQ, and NOVEMBER ROAD by Lou Berney who continues to churn out excellence, and I wish this book had gone on forever.

    I am grateful to be here, wallowing as I do amongst the famous (or infamous) Reds. This is the only blog I read daily, and it is the first place I bring my morning coffee.

    I am grateful that first year is over for you, Julia. It doesn't get better but it gets different. You know that, though, don't you.

    This list could go on, but you all should be grateful that I stop here!





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    1. Ann, I actually didn't mind the length of Lethal White, and I read it in hardcover, lol. Hope you are feeling better!

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    2. Oh Deb, the muscles you must have. I really liked the book. But 685 pages? How did you hold it up?

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    3. Ann, Aida WAS amazing. The first time I've ever seen it - I'd only listened to it on the Saturday afternoon broadcast. It was funny, too, in that seeing the live horses(!!!) prance onstage, I realized operas in the 19th century were the big budget Marvel special effects movies of their day.

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  14. I’ m grateful for having a roof over my head, clean, running water, indoor plumbing, for heating and air conditioning, grateful that I can walk and talk and dress myself and feed myself and bathe myself, grateful that I am retired and have more time for friends. I’m grateful for all my friends. I’m grateful that today I don’t need to contend with snow, ice, sleet, or freezing rain. Grateful that so far I have not had to wear a sweater or jacket in order to be comfortable enough to go outside. Grateful that there are places where I can walk indoors on the days when it’s cold or rainy. Grateful for the classes I’m taking at the senior center. Grateful that there is no shortage of books for me to read!

    DebRo

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  15. Have you shared your squash soup recipe with us, Julia? Sounds yummy! I'm grateful for healthy and happy family and friends, rice crispy treats, theater and talented casts (I saw "Come From Away" the other night and loved it!), readers, writers who are good friends and mentors, chai lattes, warm showers, Acorn TV, and books, which make everything better!

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    1. I have, Ingrid! If you search Jungle Reds with the phrase squash soup, you can find it!

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  16. Julia, thank you for the post. It prompted a much-needed refocus. Top of the gratitude list is my son and the fact that we enjoy a friendship as well as a kinship. Like DebRo, I'm very thankful for the everyday basics that aren't a given for many. I'm so very grateful for the love of reading and the writers, and the libraries and the bookstores that host events. And, I'm very grateful for my son's dog, Tesla. She visits me the way most grandchildren visit. What is it about having a dog asleep at your feet while you work at your computer that is so comforting? I don't have the answer but I'm grateful for it. Ditto Ann, this is the first place I come in the morning with my coffee. I'm so very grateful for JRW and all who show up and chime in.

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    1. I must admit, as much as I'm enjoying not being tethered (literally) to a dog's elimination schedule, I do miss having a furry companion near my feet while I write. The cat's not the same - she marches up and tries to lie on my laptop.

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  17. Julia, thank you for the lovely post, and I, too, am glad the first year has passed and that you are out of mourning. And thank you for the refocus, as I've been very inclined to be grumpy lately. I've kept a gratitude/mindfulness journal off and on for years, but lately that has fallen by the wayside. Time to restart.

    Today, I'm grateful for cooler temperatures, for having had two gloriously perfect fall days yesterday and the day before, one of those spent with my daughter doing our favorite things (lunch and shopping.) I'm grateful for my darling, funny, messy 2 1/2 year old granddaughter, and grateful that I'm lucky enough to spend time with her often. I'm grateful I've discovered (after finishing Lethal White) the British TV adaptations of the Cormoran Strike books. Grateful for my abiding love of books, grateful for the pleasure and frustration of writing. And of course for my wonderful friends, family, and the four-legged beasties. And last but certainly not least, all the dear Jungle Reds and our community.

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    1. Do share! What British TV adaptation of the Comoran Strike books? Is the series available in the US? Just looking for one more thing for which to be grateful.

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    2. Debs, I can't believe Wren is 2 1/2. Wasn't she just born?

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  18. I'm grateful for the arrival of fall (finally), for the advances in medical science that allowed my brother to have two new hips and eradicated (hopefully forever) my sister's cancer, for all the wonderful books I get to read, and for my two five-month old kittens. Most of the time I'm grateful for the kittens, but there are moments...

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    1. Oh, those kitten moments. Glad to hear about your brother and sister, Christine. May they continue to enjoy good health.

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  19. Julia, what a good idea for us to stop and talk about what we're grateful for. I'm so pleased for you that you are out of your year of mourning, and having been following your posts about your kids, happy you can enjoy their good places in life. I'm a big fan of Victoria's writing and love you sharing it with us on FB.

    I'm grateful that the hot weather has finally been replaced by proper fall cool weather, and I was careful not to complain when I got up this morning that I was cold. My two adult children are doing well and seem happy, so that's always a huge bit of gratitude. My two granddaughters fill my heart with such joy every time I see them, and I am grateful every day that they are genuinely happy to see me, as I am them. I'm grateful that my nine-year-old granddaughter talks about her reading to me and shared her song-writing with me the other day. I'm grateful that my husband is happy to be semi-retired but is also enjoying the part-time work he's still doing. Tomorrow is a big day for us, and I am grateful to be getting our rescue Brittany Spaniel named Coco. She is 11 1/2 years old, and we are hoping to give her some final years of comfort and love. We are all set with toys, pink dog collar, leash,dog food, treats, dog bed, food and water bowl setup, and a cover for the back seat of the car where she will ride. She will be spoiled. I'm grateful for having the Jungle Reds blog to come to every day and enjoy friends I've both met in real life and those I have yet to do so. And, of course, I'm grateful for my reading. I'm trying to stay caught up on those books I need to review and doing pretty well on that. That reminds me I need to post my review for Catriona McPherson's Go to My Grave, a great read. I'm also trying to fit in that giant Lethal White book, plus Martin Edwards' long Gallows Court and Lesley Thomson's The Detective's Daughter.

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    1. Kathy, several of the dogs we've adopted over the years have been seniors or older adults, and they've been some of the best companions imaginable.

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  20. I am grateful for having been born into the Cyber Age. I was almost ten years old when I was taken to the World’s Fair in Flushing Meadow Park, NY and loved the IBM Pavillion. It was 1964 and I could see it all before me. And now it’s here. I used to love card catalogs but being able to see what’s at the library almost without leaving my bed is truly amazing. I was lucky to work most of my life in things that mostly surrounded “word processing” and the graphic arts. And now I get to play all day with a laptop, two tablets, my smart phone and a power strip. I once joked that when the power went out, we could watch TV by candlelight. Now it happens. One of my brothers’ birthdays is today and I can wake up to his picture on Facebook posted by well-wishers and know that I have arranged his e-card with Jacquie Lawson weeks ago to be delivered before the crack of dawn this morning.

    And my other love. Music. Live music is sometimes dear. Maybe once a year I can afford to go to a concert. But on Facebook, our local Christian “coffee house” can remind me when they are having an out of town band playing for the price of a cup of coffee ($1) and something in the “for the band” jar. I do splurge on Spotify and my only dilemma is whether to listen to something old or something new.

    I took piano lessons for about 15 years with a teacher who is blind. I still help him out with stuff, once or twice a week. Sometimes when he wants to learn new music he has me play the music (right and left hands separately) into his retro cassette player and he can use the recorder to learn the music by playing it back and memorizing. This works very well most of the time. However, he has very little patience and always thinks he knows better. I am so grateful to my late father that he left me with much patience to spare.

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    1. David, I love your list, and you remind me to be aware and grateful for the technological marvels we have right at hand. I love the fact I can say, "Alexa, play Maine Public Classical," and get beautiful music streaming into the kitchen (I love too far out in the country to receive it over the air.) I love that I can borrow books from the city library without leaving my sofa by downloading them. And I love the way I can see hundreds of classic movies on YouTube for free - just the other day, I was watching the 1982 version of The Scarlet Pimpernel and remembering how much I loved it when it first broadcast. These are the days of miracle and wonder.

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  21. Julia, what a wonderful post! You have many things to be grateful for! I was thinking about what I am grateful for. Knock on wood. No fires like the fires we had last October just before I left for Bouchercon. Grateful that I got to see the beautiful Royal wedding on the TLC channel this morning. Grateful for beautiful weather. It's nippy outside, not too hot, which is just right. Grateful for my friends' book launches this month. Grateful that I am getting more bookstagram followers finally! Grateful for good friends. Grateful that I will get my flu vaccine on Monday.

    There are many simple things to feel grateful for!

    Diana

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    1. I'm grateful you're getting your flu vaccine, too, Diana!

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    2. Like, not in a personal, don't-sneeze-on-me way. I'm just a big fan of flu shots. Everyone should get one.

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    3. Julia, I get what you mean! Happy Friday!

      Diana

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  22. I'm grateful for good food, friends, and books. Also that the garden is still blooming and that the new TV season started.

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    1. Yes! I love the new TV season, before the bloom is off the rose.

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  23. Julia, What a wonderful reminder to us all. I've spent the last week bemoaning my bad cold rather than being grateful for the ability to take the cruise where I got it and where I met many new interesting people! I'm grateful for my family, friends, church family, my cat and senior rescue pup and all the wonderful authors, including you, who I've been blessed to meet as part of my church's Author Luncheon series.Thank you!

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  24. Ugh, the news! Thank you for this post, Julia! A good reminder to find joy in small things. I’m going for chocolate now.

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  25. Grateful..... Lovely concept...I am grateful to have my job, even when I want to quit. I'm too old to start over again.... I am grateful to have a home of my choosing and I'm selfishly happy to not have lost my home in those dreadful fires of last year. I'm grateful to have been invited to serve as curcifer last week, I was honored to be raising the ancient brass processional cross that my father carried over 60-no, wait, it's more like 70 years ago. I'm happy to have found this site, I enjoy reading about everyone's life. I am happy when passages of life are met and acknowledged. My mother sent a year wearing black also, Julia. We were all happy when she allowed colors back into her wardrobe. I'm grateful that I can dream and wish and sigh.....

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    1. All good things, Deana. It must have been a joy to serve as crucifer where your father had. I love that kind of continuity.

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  26. I'm grateful for an endless supply of brand new library books and DVD's, dark roast coffee, and a quiet house. Trying to absorb all that we saw and did during a recent trip to Ireland and Northern Ireland.

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