Sunday, May 31, 2020

Same Tattered Dress--a lament by Rhys Bowen

RHYS BOWEN: Like my Jungle Red sister Jenn I am known as a hummer, or singer. I am not aware of it, but I sing while doing mundane tasks around the house. Years ago a dear friend Meg Chittenden, now sadly no longer with us, pointed out that the tune I am humming or singing is linked to what I am thinking or worrying about. Since she pointed that out I have checked and she is absolutely right. Is that the same for you, Jenn? Or do you just choose random songs to hum?

So this week I was surprised to identify that I was singing Try a Little Tenderness. No, this was not an invitation to my husband! He is being remarkably good at isolation. No complaints there. So why did I start singing it?
Then I came to the line, “She may be weary. Women do get weary, wearing the same tattered dress.”
AHA! Eureka!
I am stuck at our winter home in Arizona. We are never here in the summer, therefore I HAVE NO SUMMER CLOTHES HERE! The only really cool outfits I have are one pair of shorts, a cover-up to wear to the pool and one sundress. I have plenty of sweaters, jackets, heavy slacks even long sleeved T shirts and jeans. But the temperature last week was 104 degrees. I even find that any T shirt with a blend of cotton and polyester makes me feel horrible—sort of clammy.

We are now in our twelfth week of isolation and let me tell you that that pair of shorts and sundress are really losing their appeal! I’ve tried shopping online for more clothes. Confession, I did snag one extra pair of shorts online but they don’t fit me as well as my first pair. I ordered a good-looking culotte sort of thing and when it came it was backless! Since I am not about to go around braless it had to go back.

I’ve seen attractive linen dresses online but when I ordered a couple the delivery date was late June. I sincerely hope to be home in California by then. And frankly I usually avoid ordering clothes online. Even from brands I usually wear, like Chico’s, I find it impossible to know what might fit and what would look good without trying on. So I’ve pretty much given up ordering online. And right now I don’t want the added worry of having to brave the post office to send things back.

I know I shouldn’t care. It’s not as if anybody sees me apart from the three people we pass on our morning walk. I’m certainly not going shopping and I’m not allowed to try on clothes in stores anyway so I guess I’ll have to grin and bear it … and walk around humming “she may be weary…”

So what about you, my dear ones? Do you shop online? Are you tired of your clothes? Have you dared to brave a store yet? What will be the first things you dare to buy when we can shop freely again?

And now for a small commercial. Next Tuesday, June 2, Hank will be reading the first chapter of my book ABOVE THE BAY OF ANGELS for her First Chapter Fun series. I'm excited.

75 comments:

  1. Rhys, I loved “Above the Bay of Angels” . . . it will be wonderful to hear Hank read the first chapter . . . .

    I shop some online, but not a great deal. Buying clothes [online or in the store] always frustrates me, so it’s not something I look forward to doing. However, since I don’t have my clothes in two different places, I have a variety of weather-appropriate things here to choose from . . . .
    I’ve been to the grocery store a couple of times, but that’s about it . . . . The first place I’m going when we can go anywhere to shop? Somewhere to get greeting cards, toys, and coffee . . . .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I’ve been getting greeting cards in Trader Joe’s, Joan

      Delete
    2. That's where I get all my cards, too, Rhys!

      Delete
    3. Wish we had a Trader Joe's near us . . . our grocery store's selection is rather pitiful :(

      Delete
  2. I don't tend to buy a ton of clothes, so I am quite happy making due with what I have. Then again, I have so many T-Shirts that I don't need any more of those, and that is what I am wearing every day since I am working from home.

    ReplyDelete
  3. In your situation Rhys, even I would go a little crazy about not having more than one set of clothes to wear in the AZ heat!

    I have more than enough clothes at home, and I was never a regular clothes shopper pre-pandemic. The only exception are running shoes. Since I walk over 15,000-20,000 steps this time of year, I have to replace them every 2-3 months. The pair I wore from January to mid-March wore out even faster since I did even much walking than usual in San Diego. Fortunately, I can order my regular running shoes in my size (NB 7.5 wide) easily. So, I did order 2 pairs of NB running shoes in April at 60% off, so I am happy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I also love New Balance, because I can get my 6W, Grace! And I always buy two pair at a time, but normally I can stop in at the outlet 20 miles from my house.

      Delete
    2. Another New Balance fan. I can get my size - 8.5 N. I'd be quite tall if I wasn't folded over so far on the bottom! I order mine online from Roadrunner Sports. As a VIP member I can return them (used) for a period of time. I haven't had to do that often, but when styles change on my favorites there have been times when the newer styles don't work. By the way - highly recommend the newest Fresh Foam 1080 offering from them. So comfy.

      Delete
    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    4. Sorry, I have computer gremlins this morning, kicking me out mid-sentence, so trying again.

      Edith/Kait: Yes, I am a NB convert as of 2017. I developed plantar fasciitis by walking too much (ha ha)...25,000/30,000 steps/day. While healing, I could no longer wear my regular Nike runners, so I tried a few brands and the NBs worked well. Fortunately, I can buy (online) my preferred style (WW840 or WW880) pretty easily. I just wish they lasted longer!

      Delete
    5. Grace, Edith, Kait, I love NB too but don't you hate it when a style you love, that fits well and works for your needs is discontinued?! Luckily, I can wear shoes for years before they wear out. But hiking shoes need a grip and although the tops can still be fine, with a worn tread, they're no good for a muddy, slippery trail.

      Delete
    6. I’m about to find that out, Grace. My running shoes need replacing and I couldn’t find the style online

      Delete
    7. Judy, yikes, yes I do hate it was they discontinue or change the shoe/running shoe line. Nike did that and the new model changed the heel top which did not work for me.

      Oddly, my hiking boots last a real long time. Maybe because they have the Vibram sole? I switch to wearing these in the late fall or winter months for my walks, and they last more than one season.

      Delete
  4. I don’t usually buy clothes online but I just ordered myself a summer bathrobe- cotton seersucker- does that count as ‘clothes’?? Rhys I know you’ll be glad to get ‘home’

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That counts Hallie, just don't wear it to walk around the neighborhood:)

      Delete
    2. A bathrobe doesn’t have to fit properly, Hallie! But it’s nice to have something new

      Delete
  5. I've had a good deal of success with ordering clothes online, but only dresses and tops (especially loose, swingy types of blouses. I've never had any luck with slacks or jeans.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A couple years ago I discovered that Talbots' pants fit me perfectly, and I can reliably order them online.

      But I think they may be going out of business, thanks to the virus and shutdowns.

      Delete
    2. Really, Talbots is going out of business? I did buy nice clothes from them for work but have not been to one in several years.

      Delete
    3. Grace, I thought I'd read that they were, on a business page, but now I can't find it. I fervently hope I misread or misremembered it!

      Delete
    4. Count me in as a Talbot fan. I have seven pairs of cords, all different colours, that I am hoping against hope will see me through to retirement from formal work. I bought two pairs in person, and the rest online. Love them!

      Delete
    5. I have three pair of their cords, Amanda. They're wonderful.

      Delete
    6. I just ordered another pair of jeans from Talbot's, great fit plus ALL their sweaters were $30.

      Delete
    7. Now I am wondering where I will buy my jeans in the future? I normally bought my Lee Relaxed Fit Straight Leg jeans at Kohl's when I visited the USA. Hudson's Bay in Canada used to carry them but no longer. Ummm, maybe Amazon?

      Delete
    8. I think they are a Penny’s brand. Penny’s is out of business.

      Delete
  6. I'm so sorry for your predicament, Rhys. And I love how you connected the lyric with your life.

    I'm been humming a song by Chris Williamson from the 70s, "Waterfall," lately, and I just realized the lyrics work for now, too: "Wake me from this dream that I have dreamed so many times. I need a little peace of mind." Yep!

    I'm all set for clothes until in-person author events start up again. Like Grace, I'm not a big clothes buyer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn’t it amazing how our subconscious gets it so right. It does seem like a dream right now!

      Delete
  7. Now that is a dilemma, Rhys! It's easy to layer if you're cold, but staying cool is a problem without the right clothes.

    I've ordered a few things, just to fill in gaps, and luckily everything I ordered fit right. Except for the pair of cute and comfy black walking shoes (Sketchers, and they look almost dressy) that came in two different sizes. I've ordered another, hopefully both sized the same, pair, but it's taking a long time to get them. Returning the wrong pair is another story--requiring either a trip to FedEx, or to the DSW store, which has not been open.

    My poor daughter is in the worst shape of all, though. In order to stay isolated, she drove from Boulder to Portland, OR in mid-March, to be there for the closing of the house she was buying with a friend. Thinking she'd only be there for the two weeks of quarantine ordered at the time, she only took enough clothing to cover her for that amount of time. But she's still there. And will be for another week. She said she is heartily sick of those clothes. Fortunately, most of her wardrobe is activewear, easy to rinse out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Karen, FedEx will do contactless pick up at your door. Check the return instructions that came with the shoes, especially since the pair was not a pair at all, the company should pick up the tab!

      Delete
    2. Thanks, Elisabeth! I've been waiting for the new pair, just to make sure.

      Delete
    3. Oh, your poor daughter. At least I’ve been stuck in my own home!

      Delete
    4. She's with her best friend, who has lived in Portland awhile now, and my daughter has worked there a day or two a week for a couple years. So they have some friends already, and have made others. She has even had a brief, socially distanced romance since February there!

      She'll be moving there permanently in July, so it's actually been a pretty good experience, with the exception of the wardrobe issue. I'm pretty sure she can borrow her roommate's clothes, in a pinch.

      Delete
    5. There are no travel restrictions? She could leave any time. A co-worker of my husband has been back and forth between Colorado and California several times.

      Delete
  8. As I suffer from a complete inability to wield a sewing machine online ordering is fraught with adventure. I do order running shoes from Roadrunner Sports and I have found the original jeans from LL Been fit every time. Now that we are in the process of moving from Southwest Florida to Maine, I'm going to have to branch out of my online comfort zone and order winter clothes pretty soon!

    Rhys, as a long-time Floridian, you're right. Cotton only - anything else sticks!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Way in the minority here (with these early morning posters), have bought my clothes, including shoes, on line forever! Since before online shopping, since those days when the mail order and the check had to be sent to the company adding at least a week to the waiting. Perhaps it's just "dumb luck" but everything comes, everything fits. I absolutely hate shopping where a clerk hovers about, trying to sell me something I don't want, especially shoes. And now, I'm learning to shop for groceries on line! Take good care whatever you are wearing and be healthy and well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I’m with you on clerks! But I’ve found even within favorite brands that some things look good and some don’t. Land End fit me well

      Delete
    2. Land's End is good quality casual, and I love their pima cotton tank tops for summer, on sale now. Just ordered a couple

      Delete
  10. There is a little shop in Guilford CT where I buy most of my clothes. I will be so eager to go back and support them! I did order 2 Habitat dressy-ish t-shirts from them this week and will go pick them up next Wed. Yay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish I had a little shop! Maybe if the department stores go under more shops will spring up

      Delete
  11. Like Grace and Edith, I'm not a big clothes buyer. I hate shopping because I have to try tons of clothes and shoes before I find one that fits so when I do , I buy a couple. Impossible for me to shop online and I'm certainly not up for ordering and returning. What I'm needing now are walking shoes but I'm postponing a little.
    What I like of staying home is that I can wear my old clothes of twenty or thirty years. I really love my old things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Danielle - I love wearing my old clothes, too. At the cottage, the clothes are the oldest of all, and I wear them in rotation. Comfort and ease is the name of style!

      Delete
    2. Are independent shoe stores open yet, Danielle? We have a few that just opened in Ottawa this week. Street level access, not shoe stores in shopping malls.

      Delete
    3. Yes Grace, many are opened and at June the first all will be able to open.
      I'm the one who is not ready to go.

      Delete
  12. I order tops and sweaters from LLBean because they are a standard size. Otherwise, I have to try everything on. Now that it's late spring, I've packed away turtlenecks for long-sleeve tee shirts and graduated to gym shorts instead of sweatpants.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Shalom Reds and fans.
    Until very recently, when I absolutely needed some kind of clothing, I would walk around the corner to the BonTon or a little further down the road to the Kmart. However, within the last year and a half, both have closed their doors for the last time.
    Well, last night, I noticed that the work/dress boots that I bought online at the beginning of January with a Kohl’s gift card were wearing very thin both in the soles and heels.
    So, a little voice told me to look at the Kohl’s website on the same smartphone and sure enough, a close match to the same brand and shoe was available and was on-sale with a deep discount. I had the money so I closed the deal.
    I do shop with Amazon, but not usually clothes. Mostly books and e-books. I also use eBay frequently. I’ve had mostly good experiences with both. Last week, I broke a relatively new pair of glasses. I was very happy to find that LensCrafters, where I bought them, was reopening with not a lot of conditions. I was glad to see them, and they were glad to see me. They should be ready for pick-up in 7 to 12 business days.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can’t buy shoes online, David. Even the same brand doesn’t work

      Delete
  14. I sympathize, Rhys. I hate shopping for clothes. I'm allergic to synthentic fabrics and it's hard to find all-natural fabrics, even online. I used to love Lands End but a few years ago they changed: increased prices, lowered quality, chose trendy over traditional colors, and started using fabric blends. SIGH.

    Fortunately, I have basic wardrobe and don't need to dress up much. Even before the pandemic, I worked from home much of the time so I don't need many "work clothes."

    The downside to buying all-natural fabrics is the price is the cost. You also have to make SURE the item really is all natural. I once bought a silk camisole but the lace edging was nylon, making it useless to me. If anyone knows of any online stores that sell all-natural clothing, please let me know. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cathy, I also love all natural clothing, but do not have allergies to most blends. I still buy lots of my tees from Land's End and from LL Bean. Before you order, you can see the fabric content. I agree however, that it is much harder to find all nat. I loved "Winter Silks, but they closed. I bought underwear from them for years. When I shop on line, I want the fabric content to be easy to find.

      Delete
    2. I’m with you. Horribly allergic to synthetics. Love linen. I’ve never tried bamboo yet. I must do so

      Delete
    3. I sympathize with you, Cathy. My food allergy keeps me reading labels all the time. One week that can of chili is perfectly fine and the next time, well trust me, you don't want to deal with my allergy. And the print on the labels seem to be getting smaller every week.

      Delete
    4. Same here, Cathy and Rhys, I am allergic to most synthetic fabrics. Glad to see I am not alone.

      Delete
    5. There is a brand they sells all cotton underwear, Camisoles, undershirts and bras. You can even buy it on Amazon. I can’t find the brand name but just google all cotton and it comes up. Hanro from Switzerland has an all cotton brand too. Very nice but more expensive.

      Delete
    6. Rhys, I've made bamboo socks and they are SO soft that I wish I could find bamboo clothing!

      Rhys and Grace, have you tried Holy Clothing? They are aimed at Ren Faire and Wiccans but have stuff the rest of us can wear, too. The clothing is made in India and is soft cotton. I bought my basic navy dress (for any occasion) there.

      Thank you, Susan! I will keep looking.

      Delete
  15. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh, this is such a frustration. I am home, so I have all my clothes, but 90% of them I cannot wear now… All reporter clothes, and book tour clothes. I do have the luxury of having everything to choose from for my stay at home wear :-) but I really miss wearing my real clothes. I look at my nice shoes and think… Will I ever wear those again?
    Plus now we all have to decide what looks good on zoom, you know? Which is a very narrow window.

    Buying online? Yes, I do it, and i’m able to pretty much predict what will work. Although I am more likely to buy kitchen storage things now than am clothing!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Rhys, absolutely hilarious connection between your song and the clothes in your home.
    I listened to Above the Bay of Angels at the beginning of the pandemic, it was my first purchase on Audible. It is delightful and it will be wonderful to hear Hank read it on Tuesday!
    Right now my Audible book is In Farleigh Field.
    I order on line from LL Bean, Lands End and other companies. Clothes fit. I send back the ones that don't, but not a usual event. My pandemic clothes story is the opposite of yours. In January or February I bought a new suede jacket, yummy color, up-style. I was so excited to think of wearing it to the theater or out to dinner in early Spring. It has never been out of the closet.
    The weather is gorgeous today in Connecticut. Blue sky, cool breeze, fresh air.
    Have a very safe journey back to CA this week, Rhys.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do hope you get to wear your yummy jacket soon! Maybe socially distanced drinks with friends?

      Delete
  18. Online clothes shopping is a bit of a pig in a poke, because the sizing seems to be all over the map -- and whoever invented size zero, anyway? Nonetheless, I order from LLBean and return or exchange what doesn't work when I try it on. It's a hassle, but I choose that hassle over the mall version of clothes shopping!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amanda, in the 1970s I was a buyer for a small chain of stores that sold small and petite sizes. There really are tiny human beings for whom a size 0 is too big! And there's an even smaller size: 00

      Delete
  19. About the only clothes I buy online are T-shirts for bands I like. But I've only bought one shirt in recent months and that was actually just yesterday when I bought a T-shirt for the Canadian rock band Helix. I got it from their webstore because they were running a 30% off sale.

    I have bought some books and CDs online since this all began. I've bought from a local independent book store, from Barnes & Noble, from eBay and direct from a publisher for books. And I bought CDs from one band's store and one from Amazon.

    My clothes do not bore me, probably because I don't look for them to excite me in the first place. They just are a means to avoid being arrested for me with a little advertising my favorite bands or TV shows thrown in.

    Of the stores that have been closed that I normally shop at the ones I miss the most are my local Barnes and Noble and my local comic shop. The comic shop is open now for curbside pickup but I hope to have it open fully soon. I like to hang out there and shoot the breeze with fellow comic fans.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I remember visiting our friends in the Pinetop/Lakeside area of Arizona for a couple Spring/Easter vacations after my step-dad died. These SF bay area natives were not prepared for snow for Easter Sunday. The fast trip to local Wal-Mart for sweatshirts was not what we had planned. With longer legs and a shorter torso, shopping for clothes has always been frustrating, be it online or in an actual building with door, ceilings, walls and floors. I just read the rules being put in place for one chain clothing store. Limited number of people in the store, staff in dressing room areas to clean each room immediately, more cleaning of cash/wrap area throughout the day. Not holding other personal items while you shop. Yes, they did talk about trying on clothes. No sharing stuff and be able to try on stuff seems counter-intuitive. Drive safely, Rhys.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Talbot’s and Land’s End work well for me

    ReplyDelete
  22. I'm going to have to take a new look at some of the songs that pop up in what I think of as the Jukebox of My Mind, Rhys. Many a time I've gotten some ear worm going that I didn't even like back in the day. Now you'll have me parsing the lyrics for subconscious meanings. At least that may give me a reason to suffer through endless rotations of "Pop a Top Again."

    As for clothing, I can usually buy tops and underwear online, but not pants or shoes. Like you, when I find a place where the sizes are reliable I cling to them. Summer is always a bad time for me because my desire to look professional is at war with my need to stay cool. That may be less of a problem this year as, like Hank, I only need to look professional on Zoom. The rest of the time it's baggy t-shirts and leggings all the way!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Rhys, humming is what I can do. When I was a kid, our class had tedious speech therapy classes and the speech teacher got mad at me because I would hum instead. LOL.

    Totally understand about clothes because what do you wear while you are washing the few summer clothes? I shop online because I can try them on and if they do not fit, I can send them back. Not as much now because it would mean going outside to send the packages back! I was lucky to snag a pair of new socks (last week) from the local pharmacy, which also sells underwear and socks.

    Have you tried L.L. Bean? Many of their products are made in the USA.

    Diana

    ReplyDelete
  24. Every year for the last few years I've looked forward to Costco's spring shipment of Lucky Brand ladies' t-shirts. Every year they get four new designs, and this is my summer at-home wardrobe! I know you can order Lucky brand t-shirts online, but they are not the same as the Costco ones. So this year, alas, no t-shirts, as I obviously haven't been popping into Costco every week or two to see if the t-shirts have arrived. So I am living in shorts and last year's tees, and trying figure out what to wear on Zoom!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I also find shopping for clothes online to be frustrating. Maybe someone has already asked this question but does someone have access to your house and can ship you your clothes?

    ReplyDelete
  26. " I ordered a good-looking culotte sort of thing and when it came it was backless!"
    You have me confused. My understanding of a "culotte" is a split skirt style pants garment. It has nothing to do with backs.
    And if no one is around to see (whose opinion really matters) why not wear an open back with your bra showing? Younger people today think nothing of having bits and bobs showing! Think young and comfy!!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Since I'm basically just going to my mother-in-law's, the grocery (once every couple of weeks, husband goes other times), and the drug store (again, about every couple of weeks), I don't have to worry about my wardrobe. And, that's good because my wardrobe is woefully lacking these days. I have a couple of pair of jeans and some exercise pants (not used for exercise) that sufficed up until now. With the warmer weather coming in, I have a couple of black nylon wide leg culottes. Those will have to give way to some cooler bottoms though soon. I will have to dig through last year's capri pants and see if any still fit. I know I have a shorter pair of jeans that should still be okay. With all the baking and cooking I've been doing, I'm not excited at all about shopping for clothes, online or in stores. I've had some success with online shopping in the past, but, like many of you, it's with tops. Bottoms usually have to be tried on, unless you find a brand and size that seem made for you.

    I'm a hummer, too, both earworm songs and those I make up. Rhys, Above the Bay of Angels is such a great read, and I'm so glad it will be featured on First Chapter Fun on Tuesday.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I never stopped going to the store - I did stop going to Walmart when they started the "stand on this line to enter" phase, but I went to our local Kroger at least once a week...during the first couple weeks we were stocked up on everything...THEN I started going a couple times a week...now I'm back to normal. I ordered "stuff" online, but no groceries. I'm not a snowbird so i have all my clothes with me, I pack winter stuff and and take summer stuff out - I discovered I had about 15 pairs of shorts and some were brand new I bought on clearance last year so I am set LOL. I always make sure that returns are free and shipping paid when i order online or I look elsewhere. I have ordered shoes from Amazon and returns are easy, also clothes as long as they are from Amazon and not some other seller on Amazon's website. Bathing suits are great to order from Amazon - lots of colors and styles and returns easy too.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I order all my clothes online, no problems with fit as I use my tape measure and the sizing charts.

    ReplyDelete
  30. My first term in college it got abnormally hot, and I couldn't go home for the first month so I lived in the few no-sleeved blouses that I had. That's no fun!

    I don't usually buy clothes online as I like to touch the fabric and maybe try things on. Our county finally went Yellow so department stores are open, and I plan to go shopping tomorrow. Maybe get take-out at Red Lobster, too. Stay safe and well.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Rhys, I can relate! I've been struggling with a thyroid disorder for the past month or so, and 10 pounds have melted away. Sounds positive, I know, but I now have only one pair of capri yoga pants that actually fits for summer. Fortunately I found sundresses fit regardless, so that is helping me make it through. But I can't order new things because I have no idea what size I need. Plus I worry that once this problem is treated, the pounds will return. I don't want to spend money on shorts I may quickly outgrow.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Levis, sweatshirts, and tees. Probably why I never get asked out.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Rhys,

    Have you thought about taking some of your winter clothes and cutting them into summer clothes? I know, shocking, but it may offer you some options to repurpose clothes that already fit. With a needle and thread, you can hem the sleeves or legs of shorts pretty easily. Or don’t bother!!

    In addition, eBay is still open! If you don’t like the idea pf iawd clothes, search for NWT (new with tags). You probably already know what brands fit you best. You could look for the exact brand of shorts you already have. And dresses are very affordable on ebay, I find.

    Good luck!

    ReplyDelete