Monday, March 8, 2021

I Would Like to Return...


LUCY BURDETTE: This pandemic and isolation has brought us so many gifts. (Can you hear hysterical laughter?) So I thought today rather than focus on counting our blessings in the mess, we could line up at the customer service counter and return something that is not working out. I’ll start. Mine is called “texting thumb.“ Yes, this is more commonly found in teenage gamers who can’t get off their phones. But what about middle aged doom scrollers? Yes this has happened to me, and it hurts and cramps my style—a person needs her thumb for so many things. It’s impossible to open a jar without a thumb for example. I place the blame squarely on the pandemic. And I haven’t been able to work on getting it fixed, because it’s a pandemic and you’re not supposed to be visiting physical therapists on a daily basis. And besides, with the new virus variants, I am still madly scrolling. How about you reds? Anything you would like to return?


HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Return? The fear. I have to return the fear. Soon, if all goes as planned, I will have two vaccinations. Jonathan, too. And yet I thinking--I am not going anywhere. Jonathan mentioned that he will go back to his law office. I said--no! Not unless I go with you. I seriously have a kind of PTSD about re-entry. That is--awful. When will we feel safe? We have been terrified for a year. If it takes 30 days to make a habit, how long does it take to un-do?


JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Can I return the -mumblemumble- pounds I’ve put on during the past year? I put on close to twenty pounds after Ross died; not surprising, as I am a stress-eater. (Why couldn’t I take after my mother, who couldn’t consume a thing when she was troubled? At least when she had grief/stress/problems her clothes fit her better.) 


The second year after I became a widow, I managed to lose the weight PLUS take more off. I was swimming at the Y regularly, walking with friends, skipping dinner for salad in a bag since I wasn’t cooking for a family and, after Youngest went off to uni, I stopped buying ANY of the sweets and desserts my family loves (sugar is like a combination of kryptonite and heroin for me.)


Then… the Maine Millennial moved back in. And the shut-down started. And Youngest came home with Guest Son and suddenly I was cooking for four hearty appetites and stocking the pantry with cookies and candy and ice cream. And now my super loose, must-wear-a-belt jeans… aren’t. Please direct me to the counter where I can return these extra inches.


Tell me a Yarn by Bernard Spragg 

JENN McKINLAY
: I would like to return the mountain of yarn I bought online with some grandiose vision of all the knitting I would do during the pandemic. I enjoyed shopping for the yarn and unboxing it, but after admiring the pretty colors and textures for a few minutes, I had less than no interest in knitting. I did not knit one thing. Not one. I just picked up my needles the other day and while I am enjoying it, I look at the mountain of yarn and realize it will be years before I use it all. What was I thinking?


HALLIE EPHRON: I would like to return the yeast. Early on I thought now would be the perfect time to learn to bake bread. Then I couldn’t find yeast at the market - like the owl and pussycat, it and the toilet paper had fled. So I posted on Facebook. 


Soon after that, one friend dropped off a plastic container of yeast. Another dropped of a 1-lb package. And… so now I am awash in yeast and bread baking no longer sings its siren song. 



DEBORAH CROMBIE: I would like to return mopping, thank you very much. I feel terribly spoiled to complain about doing without our housekeepers for a year, but oh how do I miss them. It's a big house and it takes me days (time that would be much better spent writing) to do what they do in a couple of hours. And mopping is the worst! I don't mind vacuuming--I do at least the downstairs most days (otherwise we would live in a sea of German shepherd hair) with our battery-powered Dyson, but mopping I will put off until my feet literally stick to the floor. Ugh.


RHYS BOWEN: No housekeeper here either, Debs. I have had enough of vacuuming the stairs. However, I would like to return my acid reflux that became really bad with all the stress of pandemic plus the uproar over the election, plus the storming of the Capitol. Now I’m on an extremely cautious diet that means no coffee, chocolate, alcohol, citrus fruit, spices… in short everything I love. If it’s not bad enough waking with burning pain in my stomach, I’m supposed to eat kale to cure it!


I wonder how many people would like to return the toilet paper they stocked up?


LUCY: Reds, anything you'd like for us to return for you when we're at the customer service counter?


128 comments:

  1. Oh, Lucy, that must really hurt. :( I have a stylus with my phone so I don’t have to do the thumb thing [which is a really good thing because I am so bad at trying to type with my thumb] . . . .

    Since baking yields goodies yields pounds . . . I, too, have a few I’d like to return.
    I’d also like to return the stress that comes with worrying about everyone being safe . . . and getting an appointment for the vaccine . . . and having an internet connections . . . and everything else that seems to loom extra-large in my worry-bin . . . .

    ReplyDelete
  2. I would love to return some pounds, although I think that is just middle age catching up with my sweet tooth more than the last year. I eat too many sweets, and I can't stop. But I really truly need to as the pounds keep creeping on. Not too many this past year, but it's time to shed them.

    If only I had the self-discipline.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'll do it when you're ready Mark! are you able to exercise these days?

      Delete
    2. I've been running like normal during this pandemic. Expect the last couple of weeks since my hamstrings have become tight. Hoping they loosen up soon so I can get back to it.

      Delete
  3. I would return all of the Facebook friend requests from strange men who have found me on all of the author Facebook pages I now frequent. Thanks, but no thanks. Gee Wizz, can't a gal just make a comment without waking the trolls? Speaking of which. JRW, we have one here this morning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. These guys really are creepy. Most of mine are "doctors" and prove this by cleverly posting photos of themselves wearing white lab coats and a stethoscope.

      Delete
    2. JUDY: Maybe changing your FB privacy settings would help? I don't get any of these strange men friend requests and I frequently post on FB author pages.

      Delete
    3. Judi this had been the bane of my life recently. My Facebook page gets twenty strand men every day wanting to meet me, stay at my house etc. grrrr

      Delete
    4. It has to do with how your post audience security is set. If it's just "Friends" the troll incidences are almost nil. But if your posts are set to "Friends of Friends" there is more of a chance, and "Public" posts are the most vulnerable.

      Facebook has a lot to answer for, in this regard.

      Delete
    5. I know, Rhys. I swear they follow me home from your website any time I comment on your posts. I'd love to report them but they are just annoying.
      Grace, my settings are for friends only, so that's why they ask to be friends. It is, so far, just a nuisance. Too bad we can't report them. I have a friend who is a state rep here from my hometown and she gets horrible trolls on her public page, but she can't block them and can only report the ones who are obscene or abusive.

      Delete
    6. Right, Karen. Only friends on my page. But, the trolls can still find you when you comment elsewhere and ask for your friendship. Yuk. As if!!

      Delete
    7. Lucy, I was up really early checking out JRW and you know, the early bird gets the worm!

      Delete
    8. Well, now I know why I've gotten some friend requests from men. I just delete but geez.

      Delete
    9. Judy, there is also a setting for who can see your comments, if I remember correctly. Facebook changes things too often, though.

      Delete
    10. But Karen, I don't think you can keep your comments on someone else's page, private. I could see your comments on Deb's page before you and I became Facebook friends.

      Delete
  4. I'll take some of that yeast, Hallie! I'm almost out. And Roberta, I DID get my thumb fixed - twice - and will restart therapy for it this afternoon. It's been terrifying going into doctor offices, hospitals, and therapy center during a pandemic, but I had to do it. And managed not to get sick.

    I also have pounds to send back. And fear. Mostly I want to give back all that empty air that should have been taken up by fierce, warm, long hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that's a good list Edith. I know you had your thumb fixed twice--awful. Do we have the same diagnosis? I'm hoping that ice and laying off will allow it to heal...

      Delete
    2. Mine was arthritis at the base of my thumb - the metacarpotrapezial joint.

      Delete
    3. Hallie, yeast! I bought what I thought was a pound of yeast on Amazon last year when it had disappeared from KAF's website along with all of the bread flour in all of the supermarkets and on the website, too, because of thousands of new bread bakers. Three pounds arrived and I froze two pounds. I have just about used up the first package and will be opening the second pound tomorrow. I'll let you all know if the bread rises after the yeast having been frozen for a whole year.

      Delete
    4. My mom had that surgery, years ago, Edith. The arthritis was compounded by the step-sister sitting on her hand, with force. It was totally an accident but it didn't help the joint. I can't imagine having to go through it twice.

      Delete
  5. Hank, I share your fear. I think I've become agoraphobic this past year. While I'm eager to DO things, I'm also terrified. I think a lot of us will be suffering PTSD.

    Rhys, the acid reflux is AWFUL. I had a horrible case of it early in the lockdown. I did a month of Prilosec (that's as long as it's safe to take it) which definitely helped along with some Alka Seltzer chewies as needed. With the political stuff in January, it flared up again. Another round of Prilosec fixed it once more. Thank goodness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The fear is real...I feel it too, in crowds and closed in spaces...

      Delete
    2. I’ve done the Nexium and am holding it at bay but miss my coffee, wine and chocolate

      Delete
    3. Rhys, I think you will relate to this story.
      Diana Wynne Jones was having terrible health problems with severe joint pain and such. Having no success with the doctors in England, her son suggested trying an elimination diet to see if foods were her problem. She did that (stopped eating almost everything for a while) and then started reintroducing foods.
      She started with red wine, figuring that if she couldn't drink it, she might as well know now and kill herself!
      Turned out it was all dairy products. All she had to do was touch butter, for example, and her hands would begin to curl up like crones claws!

      Delete
  6. Thank you for asking, Lucy. Very kind. Yes please. Like Julia, I want to return the extra pounds put on from eating homemade brownies and fruit loaf. And like Hank, I want to return the fear that lurks just below the surface. When will happy-go-lucky return to my spirit?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Like Julia, I'd like to return the weight I've gained. Before this all started, I had lost some weight. Not a ton but enough that the doctor was happy enough to say I was on the right track.

    Now? Relative inactivity spurred by not being out and about like I used to be has put all the weight I lost back on and added about 5 extra pounds that weren't there before.

    Sure, I could exercise and go back to strictly observing the rules I had set up for myself when I lost the weight, but I don't have time for logical solutions. So I'd just like to "belly" up to the returns counter and have the extra weight just magically disappear if you don't mind.

    ReplyDelete
  8. UNLIKE others, I LOST weight (2 dress sizes) during the pandemic year due to COVID-19. A prolonged low-grade fever and loss of taste & smell did wonder in reducing my appetite and the pounds just fell off!! Not a recommended way to diet, tbough.

    Fortunately, despite all the yummy stay-at-home baking and cooking, I have kept the weight off by solo/group walking.

    RHYS: I feel your pain about the restrictive diet. I had to do a similar elimination diet when these new food allergies sudden worsened in 2018. After a few months, I was able to add back the coffee, alcohol, dairy, nuts but the spices and nightshades are still a no-go, which saddens me but I have adjusted.

    In terms of returns, I did do A LOT of online shopping last year. Most items I bought were fine, but there are a couple of things that were not as described, and I would like a refund.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hand them over Grace, we'll take it all back!

      Delete
    2. ROBERTA: OK, the first set of ill-fitting face masks and the PAJAR no-slip (lie!) winter boots are on the way to you!

      Delete
    3. Oops, I also want a refund for the newest set of touch-sensitive winter gloves I bought.
      https://divisionunite.com/

      The video was so slick and convincing but my order took over 2 months to arrive, and guess what? I can't use my smartphone with them on. With 4-5 months of finger-freezing weather, I really need a pair of touchscreen winter gloves that works.

      Any suggestions?

      Delete
    4. MARY: Thanks for the suggestion but I don't drive, so I have never been to a Costco. I know Ottawa has some out in the boonies but it's not worth it for me to get a membership.

      Delete
  9. In addition to the bale of 40 cheap washcloths I bought -- in case toilet paper really became unavailable -- I'd like to return the hardware that's sticking out of my ankle. However that will happen the end of the week. I'd like to return the entire RPD, known as the most corrupt in the state, the pepper spray they use on small children, the knees they put on men of color, and their billy clubs, historically made of locust, the hardest of woods.

    For the last month I've been returning the covid weight gain since I seem to have returned my appetite. This may have something to do with not breaking all our bread anymore. Like Hallie, I do have a ton of yeast if anyone needs some.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ANN: I will take the yeast! NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, I wish I could return the plate and screws that are still in my leg but I was not willing to get cut open again to do so! I could wear some of my rigid-sided boots that have been abandoned in my closet.

      Delete
    2. Good luck Ann with getting all that hardware removed!

      Delete
  10. In rereading comments, I think we have enough extra pounds to return in exchange for a whole new Jungle Red reader/writer person. It's sort of like Debs vacuuming up enough dog hair each day to produce a whole new GSD!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I know this is unsolicited advice, mea culpa. But chewing papaya tablets will take care of acid reflux/heartburn within minutes, and without the side effects of Prilosec. And it can actually heal your issues, instead of just alleviating the pain. I found this out when Prilosec stopped being prescription, and therefore covered on my insurance.

    I also bought a two-pound block of yeast. What was I thinking? Anyone want to share? Two or three ounces would be more than enough for us.

    I'd very much like to return this damned virus. Full stop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. we are all in line for that Karen! what a nightmare year this has been...

      Delete
    2. Karen I did try the papaya but I have actually had full blown gastritis with stomach that burns

      Delete
    3. Oh, Rhys, I'm so sorry. That's so painful and unpleasant.

      Delete
    4. Feel better, Rhys. I feel your pain.

      Delete
    5. For the record, bread and flour were causing my heartburn and reflux. Once I added a prescription-strength Vitamin B from my doctor, it all went away. And pretty quickly, too, in just a couple days. That is after going through one doctor after another for years, elimination diets, elevating the head of the bed, Prilosec, and a load of other nonsense.

      Delete
    6. I know, right? Apparently, it's quite common, but for some reason doctors don't automatically begin with testing Vitamin B levels. When they finally got around to it my test came back zero.

      Delete
    7. KAREN: That is so interesting, and I am glad your heartburn and acid reflux went well. I wonder what the B vitamin complex does?

      Delete
    8. GRACE, it helps to process the gluten, as I understand it.

      Delete
  12. Jenn, I completely understand you buying all that gorgeous yarn! I myself cannot resist all the luscious colors and textures! But then what? I am making a hat - is that a big deal or what?

    Right now I'd like to return most of this cold weather we seem to have had forever! Probably doesn't have anything to do with the pandemic but if there is an opportunity to return things I'm taking it. I'd also love to return all the time I've wasted just sitting in front of the computer, scrolling here and there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We haven't suffered from the cold weather Judi, but the wasted time sounds like a very good choice for me too...

      Delete
    2. I started another blanket. I hope it doesn't take three years like the last one. Oy.

      Delete
  13. Goodness, all of the above! Thank you for making me feel less alone with these can-I-give-it-back items. Hank--the fear, yes! Also, anger and frustration. Rhys--I've been suffering from the same! It really hit mid-January. Hmmm.... Lucy--I don't have the thumb issue, but I've doom-scrolled enough I've made my eyes tired. So I'd like to give back eye weariness! Julia--yep re: the pounds. Hallie--I quickly tried and got over bread baking. But I have found a few new recipes that I really like. So that's a bonus. Deb--I admit to also missing our housekeeper. On the other hand, I invested in a vacuuming robot (Roborock E4) that is really great. I've named it... the Mystery Machine. And even got a sticker of the van for it! And Jenn--I started crocheting in fall of 2019. I'd crocheted as a kid, but took it up again to have a hobby. Little did I know how handy that would be in 2020, and 2021... But yes. I now have SO much yarn, and SO many projects planned, that I could go years without buying yarn again. I have yarn in baskets, yarn tucked in ottomans, yarn in cabinets...

    ReplyDelete
  14. We didn't receive spray bathroom cleaner in our curbside grocery order, so my husband hit the hardware store and bought a lifetime supply of industrial strength bathroom cleaners. I'm on my last bar of luscious olive oil soap and used up most of my stationery stash.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, you better not send your husband to the store for those Margaret!

      Delete
  15. I'm in line behind Julia. The pounds I lost before the pandemic found me again and more came in as well. My only fear about re-entering the world is if the people I come in contact with did not get the vaccine.

    Sorry about your thumb Roberta.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, Dru, why is it those pounds love to return and always brings friends (more pounds) with them?!

      Delete
  16. I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only person who gained pandemic poundage! Maybe after we're all vaccinated and can get out and about again we can start a Jungle Reds support group. Goal: "Take me back to February 2020!"

    Also, no way I regret all my toilet paper. I was just noticing I'm down to 36 rolls, and it's making me nervous. I think I'm scarred for life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. February 2020 was a stress cyclone for me, even without the looming pandemic, so please let's not go back there. But just about any time in 2019 would be fine.

      Delete
    2. Yeah, I rethought that as soon as I hit the publish button, Gigi. I was miserably sick for the whole month. We can change our theme to "Back to the Future (You)."

      Delete
    3. Julia, I think we all have toilet paper PTSD. I bought more at Costco on Saturday, even through we still had plenty. Just in case...

      Delete
    4. Yikes, just checked and I am down to just 4 rolls of TP, so I really do need to buy more!

      Delete
    5. OMG Grace, quick, get that order in! My hub harasses me about the TP, but I'm never running out again either. I now order bamboo rolls from WHO GIVES A CRAP (terrible name, but good people:)

      Delete
    6. We have a lot of it, too. YAY. And Tuna. :-) I think it is very reassuring, which is so sad.

      Delete
  17. I came into this world early--probably worried that I'd miss something--and have been a worrier ever since. But I would like to return the WORRY that was compounded of the virus and the lunatic-in-charge last year. That worry erupted into daily frustrations and anger that filled my days and nights--so please, someone find me a big enough trash compactor and I'll happily dispose of it instead of making someone return it.

    Having my vaccination has certainly helped--but what's not helping are loved ones refusing to get one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I’m a worrier too, Flora and has been a year of
      Constant stress. I’m lucky that nearly all of my family is vaccinated (teachers and medical)

      Delete
    2. Oh gosh, that would be infuriating Flora. I did hear about a cousin whose son is called his mother to tell her not to get the shot. What???

      Delete
  18. I, too, would like to return the stress and fear. When I was younger and stressed I stopped eating, now it’s the reverse. Before it got cold and snowy I was doing well with bike riding which really helps with back issues, I need to get back to that because due to knee issues I can’t take walks. My cousin keeps giving me her extra yarn so I’ve given away a lot of hats. I’m going to look for the papaya tablets for my stomach.
    On the up side, the pipes did not freeze, I have heat, I do not have to go out to a job, and I got my first shot. Could be worse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay on the shot Ann, and hope you get back to bike-riding soon!

      Delete
  19. I don't dare get on the scales but my face, which I can't ignore, washing etc looks like the proverbial pumpkin. Julia I need the snow and ice gone so I can walk with you. Hank I gave your fear particularly in keeping Victor safe. We have our second shot tomorrow then I must go back to doing our food shop. My neighbor is exhausted and rightly so. But, but, but it's lurking out there to get me! Then the hand, yes that's giving pain too. And tissues, I have two unopened boxes of unopened tissue boxes- who ordered those? I think Amazon grocery had a hiccup. After the initial State lockdown I let my cleaner back in. She is very careful and cautious, wears a mask as do we. We try and stay a floor away from each other. And she is trying to make a living too. Thanks Roberta, it helps to have company in the pit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Celia, that is so true about your house cleaner trying to make a living! So many consequences of this damned virus! It makes me so angry (see above) about those in power who say financial help will just make people too lazy to go back to work. Grrrr!!!

      Delete
    2. Celia, walking in April, swimming in June!

      Delete
    3. Thanks Flora, So hard if you're trying to earn a living the $1200 doesn't go far with kids to feed etc. Just thankful that we are able to help her and she is certainly my lifeline to not going crazed. I really, really do hate cleaning. Yes of course I do it when necessary, but who wouldn't rather read a book?
      Julia - of course, walking very soon once we can find a place without ice etc. Yes Lake Arrowhead is not the place for winter walking for the elderly. Swimming asap, hopefully before Memorial Day.

      Delete
    4. Our house cleaner also came back right after the first lock down. She needs the work and we wear masks and social distance, too.

      Delete
    5. Yes, we paid our housekeepers anyway, even though they didn't come. My hairdresser, too. :-) Now they're back and we stay on the third floor until they are gone.

      Delete
  20. Jenn, you can return some of that lovely yarn to me. It looks fabulous, and I have sworn to up my knitting game.

    I would like to return some of the many hours I spent not doing productive things, but please may I keep all the hours I spent catching up on my massive sleep deficit? The naps were aMAZing. I could also return some of the zillion books I read and enjoyed, but am now too fearful to take to the used book store. The books are taking over my kitchen.

    And please, please take back any and all Texas politicians and corporate executives who believe it's better for the bottom line if they only worry about the money, and stop caring about whether people die. Take 'em back. Compost 'em. Do whatever is necessary to get them totally out of my life.

    AMY PERSHING: I just finished A Side of Murder last night and I loved it, loved it, loved it! I plan to mention it in my Weird Sisters Blog next week, when I talk about Mysterious Women. Don't worry, Reds, you'll be in there, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gigi, I am with you on the Texas politicians, 100 per cent. I'd also like to send back those folks who are having mask-burning parties on Wednesday...

      Delete
    2. GIGI, DEBS: So sorry you have a governor who thinks it's a good time to open up the state and go maskless! And mask-burning parties...WTF?

      Delete
    3. The Lone Star is becoming the Looney Star. Sorry you guys have to be exposed to such thoughtless politicos.

      Delete
  21. I would like to return the 4lb of gluten I have in the basement because when we couldn't find bread, we said, "Oh, we'll bake it!" and stocked up. And then bread came back into the stores and...

    I wonder how long gluten will last if I never opened it and have it in a basement pantry in a airtight container?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Gigi, ditto on the Texas politicians. Don't get me started. . . Please take back all the extra poundage I have accumulated since even before the pandemic. I also need to be rid of my surliness and negativity and ennui. I'll pay for the shipping.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't even live in Texas and I'd like to return those idiots!

      Delete
    2. this made me snicker Pat: "I also need to be rid of my surliness and negativity and ennui. I'll pay for the shipping."

      Delete
  23. Dear customer service specialist,
    I'd like to return my liver. Over the past 12 months, I gave it every opportunity to prove it's worth. It's continual failure to metabolize even the most expensive bottle of Chardonnay was disappointing. I'm a very dissatisfied customer.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Like so many others, I'll happily return the pounds. Do they just have to be just from the pandemic year? I'll happily dispose of the others added from the year before the pandemic too.

    I've been really good and NOT purchased any new yarn, Jenn. Most of the boxes of books and yarn was half filled with yarn to lighten the weight, for me, when I moved into the apartment, and the overflow storage three years ago. I didn't my family teasing me about the amount of boxes labeled yarn when I moved to my new home. I love the colors in the picture you posted, Jenn. You need to post a picture of your project.

    I would like to return the stress headaches. I've always developed headaches, even as a child but this has been the year of the headache. Please take them back, I beg you, just take them back. Having received both vaccines has not relieved the stress because others still haven't been able to receive their vaccines.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no, headaches are no fun at all Deana. We'll take them back...

      Delete
  25. Hank, the fear!! Having had both shots, I've had a couple of outdoor lunches with my daughter and granddaughter, and have done some errands that I would not have done otherwise (dropping things at Goodwill, etc.) but I don't feel safe. And I'm terrified by the idea of travel and especially international flights, which is not a good thing as my writing depends on those eventual trips to the UK.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I too would like to return to 2019. I had lost weight at the beginning of 2020 but the stress got too much for me and now I am back to my top weight again. What I would really like is to have my old hair back. It turns out that there is such a thing as stress hair loss and I have got it. I know age plays a part but this is dramatic and not just age. I am working on it and trying to destress. My husband and I do have our vaccines but we are not changing much in our lifestyles. Because we are not getting out he is losing more and more mobility but is doing PT at a good facility her so I do have hope but that has been an added stress. I should not complain as we have heat and water and food and good representation in the US Senate. I won't talk about local politics in this state but I would be glad to add them to the Texas compost pile.

    ReplyDelete
  27. This is absolutely hysterical! I'm with Hank though and Debs - it's the fear. I haven't had my shots yet (well, that makes me feel like a critter), but I know I won't be comfortable returning to reality central until the numbers drop significantly! I'm frozen in place at even the thought of getting on a plane or going into a restaurant.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Wow! I decided that I would not order anything unless I know for sure that I can return them.

    LLBean is great about accepting returns.

    Regarding toilet paper, keep them because eventually you will need them. It means one less thing to worry about when shopping.

    Feeling pandemic fatigue right now. It is almost a year since the lockdown in California. On the 12th of March last year the first day of the Left Coast Crime conference was cancelled because of the lockdown order.

    Ironically I arrived in San Diego on the 11th and left San Diego on the 12th because in the last five years I seem to get really sick staying in hotels. No idea why. I do not think I had problems staying in Bed and Breakfast, though. I decided to stay one night in San Diego and go to the first half of the conference and also it was a joint birthday celebration for me and a childhood friend who now lives in the San Diego area.

    Diana

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Diana Did you ever get your sound processor fixed?


      Delete
    2. Coralee, thank you for asking. NOT yet! I really hope that my sound processors will be fixed soon!

      Diana

      Delete
    3. Lucy, it has been a very long year!

      Diana

      Delete
    4. Update: I finally heard back from the Audiology department and I was able to send an email this time! Fingers crossed, Coralee!

      Diana

      Delete
  29. No vaccine for me YET since I am "too young" and I do not have any health conditions. However I have several friends with cystic fibrosis who really needed the vaccine and they called 20 pharmacies before they got appointments to get their vaccines.

    Diana

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the "system" has been appalling. Hopefully soon we'll be flooded with vaccine.

      Delete
    2. I'm in the same boat as you, Diana, and now regularly experience vaccine envy.

      Delete
    3. Lucy and Gigi,

      Thank you. I am counting my blessings that I am still in pretty good health.

      Diana

      Delete
  30. I would like to return the scarring and inflammation in my lungs and thyroid with the nodles I didn't know had it only runny nose and headache. But I had pain in my chest afterwards. So I
    didn't show signs.
    Found out with c scan and ultrasound. Waiting 6 weeks to see if they heal. So that's would I would like to return. I was so careful too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. so sorry about that Donamae, hope you feel better quickly!

      Delete
    2. Fingers crossed this may be returned with no added pain and fear.

      Delete
  31. The fear. We have both had our shots, but the fear remains. As badly as I'd like to walk around in downtown Boone visiting cute shops and galleries, I just can't.

    What I have done is rented a house at the beach in September, WITH travel insurance in case we back out because of the fear. We'll see. What do y'all think - will it be safe??

    And, oh yeah, the weight. ALL the weight!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think setting an intention - such as your reservation - is an excellent way to combat the fear, Kaye. Good for you!

      Delete
    2. KAYE: I agree with Jenn about your beach reservation.
      Hope the pandemic situation improves by September and that you go!

      Delete
    3. I'm still hanging onto hope that we'll get to go to Paris in September. sigh...

      Delete
  32. Hello Customer Service Rep: I realize this may be out of your hands, feel free to bring in a supervisor. I would like to return all the misinformation that has been posted on the internet, on certain cable news sources and of course from person to person. Facts not fears please. Speaking of fear, after living half my life in a heightened state of "what if __" I was taught that fear could stand for two things FEAR = F*** Everything And Run. or Face Everything And Recover. My choice. Anyone interested in Coralee's Handy Dandy Steps to conquer fear is welcome to pvt msg me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Coralee, I love this and have applied both versions of FEAR in my life.

      Delete
    2. I love your definitions of FEAR!

      Delete
  33. Hugs, Rhys, your list of can't haves made my stomach hurt in sympathy!

    ReplyDelete
  34. I wish we could return the half a million victims to their healthy lives. Waiting for my second Moderna shot, and looking forward to returning to contact with fellow humans. The line for the mass vaccination event was actually a friendly occasion; that's how lonely we all are. A return to the Y should help the tight pants, though returning to Sucrose might counter-act it. Yarn will keep, though if you truly have too much, senior centers and library groups will usually accept donations. Food pantries and kitchens probably need yeast. Small celebrations in order for having survived . . . and spring will help.
    As for the t.p. hoarders, they get to keep what they selfishly kept from others (like the man with a full cart of t.p. last March -- I had no idea why he was smiling so). It can be like the albatross in The Ancient Mariner and help them think about what they did.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Oh, those pandemic pounds. I would love to return those, along with a couple of tops I ordered online that won't fit because of those pounds. Yes, I know I can return online items, but then I would have to get out to do so, and I don't want to do that. So, I'll keep them and hope they eventually fit.

    And, I would like to return the lethargy brought on by having to stay at home. After my second shot and the waiting time to get out a bit, I'm hoping that I'm not so used to staying in that I can't make myself get out again. I think that's my greatest fear, that the pandemic has made me even more of a homebody than I already was. Of course, I think about traveling and going to the conferences, and I do want to do that. I just hope the energy comes back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's really difficult---I think we have to give ourselves a chance with reentry..

      Delete
  36. I have several of the same issues. Yeast, diamond painting kits, fifteen pounds, two extra cats that don’t get along with the existing house cats, and I like for them to return my dad who died of COVID, plus 20 other friends who were in the nursing home!

    ReplyDelete
  37. I have several of the same issues. Yeast, diamond painting kits, fifteen pounds, two extra cats that don’t get along with the existing house cats, and I like for them to return my dad who died of COVID, plus 20 other friends who were in the nursing home!

    ReplyDelete
  38. SO LATE! And I have loved reading all these..we are all such good pals.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Such an interesting post! I'd love to return the uncertainty. I liked it better when my days had structure, schedules, and smoothness to them.

    ReplyDelete