Monday, April 25, 2022

What we're writing... Hallie introduces a character

HALLIE EPHRON: A character I’m (still) working on for a new novel that I’ve barely begun is an elderly woman (Helen) who runs Spiritualist meetings for people who want to send messages to their dead loved ones, queued up in the astral plain waiting to send messages back. It’s easy for me to understand why people would be seduced by the notion that the dead aren’t gone gone.

I don’t want to make Helen a fraud or a fool. Or silly or clownish. She believes she’s helping people who are dealing with loss reach that most elusive of goals: closure.

So, I’m working and reworking paragraphs that introduce Helen to the reader, trying to take a page from the authors who’ve introduced memorable characters in the pages of their mysteries.

Take Jane Marple, for example. Here’s how Agatha Christie described her in the “The Tuesday Night Club,” the 1927 short story in which she was first introduced:
Miss Marple wore a black brocade dress, very much pinched in around the waist. Mechlin lace was arranged in a cascade down the front of the bodice. She had on black lace mittens, and a black lace cap surmounted the piled-up masses of her snowy hair. She was knitting, something white and fleecy. Her pale blue eyes, benignant and kindly, surveyed her nephew and her nephew’s guests with gentle pleasure.


What’s so cool about this description is that Christie is seducing the reader, at first at least, into writing Miss M off as a ditzy old lady. Which she turns out to be anything but. What is she doing? What she’s best at: watching and listening.

Here’s how Elizabeth George introduces Barbara Havers in A Great Deliverance:
Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers tugged the door of the super’s office shut, walked stiffly past his secretary, and made her way into the corridor. She was white with rage.

God! God, how dare they! She pushed her way past a clerk, not bothering to stop when the folders he was carrying slipped from his grasp and scattered. She marched right through them. Who did they think they were dealing with? Did they think she was so stupid she couldn’t see the ploy? God damn them! God damn them!

She blinked, telling herself that there would be no tears, that she would not cry, that she would not react. The sign LADIES appeared miraculously in front of her and she ducked inside. No one was present. Here, it was cool.

Had it really been so hot in Webberly’s office? Or had it been her outrage? She fumbled at her necktie, jerked it loose, and stumbled over to the basin. The cold water gushed out of the tap beneath her fumbling fingers, sending a spray onto her uniform skirt and across her white blouse. That did it. She looked at herself in the mirror and burst into tears.

“You cow,” she sneered. “You stupid, ugly cow!” She was not a woman easily given to tears, so they were hot and bitter, tasting strange and feeling stranger as they coursed down her cheeks, making unattractive rivulets across what was an extremely plain, extremely pug-like face.

“You’re a real sight, Barbara,” she upbraided her reflection. “You’re an absolute vision!” Sobbing, she twisted away from the basin, resting her head against the cool tile of the wall.
And there you have it, the debut appearances of two of the most irresistible characters in crime fiction. And it’s all those carefully chosen details that bring them to life--Miss Marple listening, in repose; Barbara Havers in high dugeon, mired in self-loathing.

So as I write my Helen, I try not to drive myself crazy by holding myself to standards set by Christie and George. But I am on the hunt for the details that readers will remember, the character doing something that somehow defines her.

I’ve decided I’ll introduce Helen as she prepares to host one of her Spiritualist meetings in her apartment on the top floor of a Brooklyn brownstone. She’s trying to prepare a welcoming setting for her guests, one in which the’ll be receptive to overtures from the spirit world.

Here’s a bit of what I’m working with:
Shifting to the astral plane from this corporeal midway took some doing. Helen checked the clock as she set out a tub of cheddar cheese spread, Ritz crackers circling it like the ouroboros—a snake eating its own tail: birth and death, a perpetual cycle of renewal.

She poked a dollop of cheese onto her finger and licked it off, probably exceeding her quota of fat and salt for the week. What the heck, you only live once was what her daughter would have said. But Helen was pretty sure that wasn’t so but she knew better than to argue with Caroline. Such a stubbornly closed mind in that one, even if she was a perfectly lovely human being.

I go on, giving Helen a bit of a tremor and occasional heart palpitations. Her apartment has lava lamps on the shelves and photographs she’s taken of her own of aura on the walls. Her jewelry is ancient amber. She lights incense, or maybe dried sage in a more of a native American tradition.

None of the choices are random. And I won’t tell the reader if she’s tall or short, chunky or slim, the color of her hair or eyes, or any of the details of her appearance that a police detective would want to know if she went missing. I want the reader to feel her, not pick her out of a lineup. I have a lot more work to do.

The opening ends with her guests streaming in, every one of them hoping for a message from the astral plain, though one of them is not at all the person they claim to be.

Writers, what do you think about when you write a passage that introduces a main character to your readers; and readers what characters made a lasting impression on you the first time you encountered them on the printed page?

56 comments:

  1. Atticus Finch is one of the characters that made a lasting impression the first time I encountered him in print.

    I love the description of the crackers circling the cheese like an ouroboros . . .

    Helen feels real to me, especially with that thought about “stubbornly closed mind in that one, even if she was a perfectly lovely human being.”

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Joan - so interesting because in that 'stubbornly closed...' comment she's most nearly me - confirming my belief that all of the characters that we write have their basis in the writers themselves.

      Delete
  2. The studies of those iconic characters are so interesting, Hallie. I can't think that I've ever been that careful about details, but hopefully you will inspire me. Meanwhile, write on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Lucy - if it's not deliberate you're doing it intuitively.

      Delete
    2. "Lots of people think they'd love to eat for a living. Me? I'd kill for it."

      Roberta...I was hooked by the end of the first sentence!

      Delete
    3. Thanks Hallie and Judy--I did spend a year of my life figuring out that first line, now that you mention it!

      Delete
  3. First it was socks and now, Ritz crackers! I am fretting about Helen and her client's ability to navigate the stairs to her top floor apartment. Victorian mourning brooches, anyone?

    I'm reading Krueger's Lightning Strike and Iron Lake. In LS, Cork O'Connor sits at his desk as a recently sworn in sheriff (desk paraphernalia, ceremony with friends and family, the fact that he'd ironed his uniform himself, following in his father's footsteps).

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hallie, I'm delighted you're back writing. Onward and upward? I look forward to knowing more about Helen. You will land on just the right words to describe her.

    "what characters made a lasting impression on you the first time you encountered them on the printed page?"

    Hard question. Gamache comes to mind most immediately. And Duncan Kincaid. And Gemma of course. And Jimmy Perez. When I close my eyes I can still see Nero Wolfe tending his orchids. And Sherlock Holmes with deerstalker and calabash -- what a picture. Miss Marple and Hercule Poirot, first met when I was maybe 8 or 9.

    I now am wondering how much my impressions are affected by later movies and TV as opposed to descriptions in books. Quite a lot I think

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe, but Margaret Rutherford was NEVER my idea of Miss Marple. She's like a linebacker trying to play quarterback.

      Delete
    2. Didn't Rosalind Russell play Miss Marple in one movie? Fine actress, but no Miss Marple!

      Delete
    3. Oh interesting question Ann! I did not think the actor in Shetland looked like my idea of Jimmy Perez, but probably by now he's stuck in my mind forever.

      Delete
    4. Joan Hickson is my Miss Marple image.

      Delete
    5. Lucy, I can't imagine anyone else as Jimmy now!

      Delete
  5. I'm so glad you're writing, Hallie! I have two projects where I'm introducing new main characters. Going off now to see how I can improve them.

    I know you'll nail Helen (although you called her Thelma in the paragraph after the passage - that early deciding on a name can be hard).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Edith. I have plenty of time to make changes.

      Delete
  6. I don't know that I've ever paid close attention to this, but I sure will now. I think instinctively I craft the character as I see them and focus on the characteristic I notice first. Are the clothes neat? Do they look you directly in the eye? Do they fidget?

    Definitely food for thought.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right... interesting that you try to see the character as others see them and capture that.

      Delete
  7. Wow, Hallie. It's interesting that some of the authors on the blog this morning, never thought about this when creating their characters, and yet, they've created memorable, indelible characters. How much of it is instinct, and kind of knowing the person you want to write about or planning to create a character? Your examples of first impressions are really thought provoking.

    One of my favorite characters is James R. Benn's Billy Boyle. The first time we meet him, he is on a flight over the Atlantic.
    "I WANTED TO DIE. No, actually I didn't want to die. Or live. I just didn't care. Dying would have been better than puking my guts out again in a bucket. Which wouldn't have been so bd if the bucket hadn't been inside a freezing Flying Fortress halfway between Iceland and England, trying to ride out a North Atlantic storm. And if there hadn't been a war going on, and if I hadn't been headed right for it."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a great example, Judy - I actually remember reading the first Billy Boyle novel and thinking: what a great character! He captures the TIME period as well as the personality of the character. Definitely makes you want to keep reading.

      Delete
  8. One recent memorable lead character I read is Lila from Mia P Manansala's debut ARSENIC AND ADOBO. After reading just the first page, you can clearly hear the snarky 25-year old's distinct voice and learn the key points about her current life. Brilliant. Others agree...ARSENIC AND ADOBO won the Agatha award for best debut mystery this past weekend. It was also nominated for a Lefty Award at LCC.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Big congratulations to Mia! As readers I think we're hungry for characters who sound fresh and authentic.

      Delete
  9. Bringing a new character to life is tricky. I spent years focusing on plot until I saw the importance and satisfaction in writing characterization. Thanks, Hallie, for highlighting these examples, including your own, Helen, who’s off to a fascinating start. I’ll look forward to her story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Excellent observation - I can't tell you how many times I've heard an aspiring mystery writers despair over whether they dropped the body soon enough. When it's characters that keep the reader reading.

      Delete
  10. I'm already intrigued by Helen. Character creation is such a miraculous thing. From bits of yourself and others, life experience, and imagination comes an individual who could walk right out of the page. It's as much a mystical and magical process as Helen connecting with the departed. Love it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Whether by instinct or design, it's the details that matter in creating a character that comes off the page. With Barbaraa Havers, for example, we don't know (yet) that her hair is not stylishly cut, that she smokes, that she could give a hoot about what she's wearing, what she eats. What color her eyes are, etc. But oh boy, does she come alive on that page through her actions and her thoughts! And only later do the other details get layered on. And my favorite authors do this character building with all of their characters--even the minor ones. Helen's already got me worried, Hallie--she seems caring and sincere about what she believes--and I feel like those very qualities could let someone take advantage in a bad way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, she has what my psychologist friend calls permeable boundaries.

      Delete
  12. The sheer volume of moving parts to a novel, especially one with a crime to solve, continues to astonish. It's fun to peek behind the curtain this way, Hallie.

    A tremor, hmm? Let me know if you want some quirky details, like uncontrollable spasms that jerk the hand holding the drink during a fancy dinner party. Or trying to make the mouse pointer hit that teeny tiny square to close a page, turn off the volume, etc.

    So many interesting characters that assert themselves straight away. I just binge-read the entire Magic Watchmaker series by CJ Archer, about 1890s England and magical craftspeople and their clashes with the guilds. The MC of the series, India Steele, is magnificent from the first page, and stayed true to herself through all umpteen books.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And what I like about a tremor is it can be there and then mysteriously stop...
      Magic Watchmaker: Writing it down. Sounds right up my alley.

      Delete
    2. Hallie, it's a well-known fact among those of us with a tremor that alcohol helps calm it down. Which is both a blessing and a curse.

      Delete
    3. However... not a good idea if you also have affib. So complicated, and aging introduces so many gotchas.

      Delete
  13. Lovely, Hallie. You've covered it well.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hallie: I want more of Helen -- and mostly because of (1) how she arranged the cheese and crackers and (2) how she described her daughter, setting herself in apparent opposition to that mind-set. This will make for an interesting dynamic between the two, I think. These descriptions give depth to Helen and give me room, as the reader, to imagine between the lines, as it were. I like that kind of writing.

    I read for characters more than plot, and will now pay attention to how authors set them up from the start of the story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amanda - I think of the reader and the writer as partners in creating character... just as you describe. The writer sketches and the reader fills in the gaps.

      Delete
  15. HALLIE:

    Dugeon is a new word for me. I'll have to look that up in the Dictionary.

    As a reader, I notice how the character is introduced in terms of establishing her personality, demeanour and style. Off the top of my head, MAISIE DOBBS has a vivid description of her sartorial style and how she carries herself.

    Your Helen sounds like a fantastic character.

    Diana

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hallie - Helen sounds marvelous! It is really an intriguing idea to have her a spiritualist. from even this brief snippet it seems like she takes what she does seriously, but doesn't take herself too seriously. She will be fun to read about.

    ReplyDelete
  17. How wonderful! I love this in every way, and applaud how you've skated around her description. Because the reader will not notice until it's too late! Cannot wait to hear all about this! xx And I am thinking about this now, the deliberative nature of each word and decision. You are such a good teacher.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hallie, I'm so happy to see you working on fiction again! That's a wonderful little snippet and I can't wait to read more about Helen.

    At the moment, I'm reading Slow Horses by Mick Herron and the characterizations are just brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I LOVE that series, Deb. And I agree, the characterizations are so complex and so real despite being, in a way, satirical.

      Delete
  19. Anyone who can seen ouroboros in Ritz Crackers on a plate has my attention. We could have long and wide-ranging conversations. I'm interested to know the history that has brought her to this place and how she can have such objectivity on her daughter.

    I have a document file called "Characters in need of a plot." It is mostly stream of consciousness writing but I find that I am most interested in how the histories of people play into their current psychologies, their decisions and their actions. I never got over asking "why?"

    I like character introductions that jump right into the problem at hand and let the drama expose the characters. Gay Hendricks and Tinker Lindsay introduce Tenzing Norbu in _The First Rule of Ten_ through a letter to his erstwhile Buddhist teachers where he admits that being shot while in the line of duty as an LA cop has caused him to rethink his rejection of their teachings. It starts out with "I got shot." and ends with "I am no longer a cop." And we go from there. The intro gives perspective to an audience perhaps not familiar with Buddhist teaching and creates a backstory with lots of potential.

    Glad to hear that you are writing.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hallie, this is good! I feel like I know Helen and I am definitely wanting to know more, as your story unfolds.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hallie, she will be a great new character. Your characters are always so strong and vivid
    Writing this from Union Station en route to NY

    ReplyDelete
  22. You had me at "lava lamp" . . . perfect detail!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hallie, I'm already interested in Helen and her Spiritualist connections. Your characters are always I am curious about what the food she puts out says about her. I love the Ritz cracker description, "Ritz crackers circling it like the ouroboros," but I have to question the food selection she presents for her guests/clients. A tub of cheddar cheese spread and Ritz crackers seems so, well, pedestrian, uninspired. But, that's why I'm asking about it. Food may not be important to her, with such a choice, but she does have some issue with it, as she notes that eating a dollop of the cheese is "probably exceeding her quota of fat and salt for the week." Again, I'm just curious if these two details are making a statement about her and food, which, because you have included them, I can only gather that they do. Oh, and I like the dynamic you've already set up with Helen and her daughter, as Helen is Spiritualist open-minded and her daughter has a "stubbornly closed mind."

    Last night Call the Midwife had a guest character on who could give readings on people, if not specific, it could be a warning of trouble to come or a prediction of joy to come. The older woman had quit giving readings, as people tended to distance themselves from her because of her gift. She called her gift a curse, a burden hard to bear.

    There are so many mystery/crime characters and characters from all you Jungle Red Writers that have made lasting impressions on me that I'm going to choose a non-mystery character. It is, or they are, Ruby and Rose Darlen, who are conjoined twins in Lori Lansen's The Girls. "Now nearing their 30th birthday, they are history's oldest craniopagus twins, joined at the head by as pot the size of a bread plate." But, they have a job, working at the library, and they have friends and dreams. And, they have tragedy. They also have different interests. The opening lines of this book have stuck with for so many years: "I have never looked into my sister's eyes. I have never bathed alone. I have never stood in the grass at night and raised my arms to a beguiling moon. I've never used an airplane bathroom. Or worn a hat. Or been kissed like that. I've never driven a car. Or slept through the night. Never a private talk. Or solo walk. I've never climbed a tree. Or faded into a crowd. So many things I've never done, but oh, how I've been loved. And, if such things were to be, I'd live a thousand lives as me, to be loved so exponentially." Rose writes those lines, as Rose is the one who has always wanted to be a writer and is writing their autobiography. Ruby insists that she must tell her part, too, for it to be accurate, so readers get chapters from both Rose's and Ruby's perspectives, figuratively and literally, as their faces are pointed in different directions. This book, these characters, drove home the point to me that there is the extraordinary in the ordinary and the ordinary in the extraordinary. The characters also drove home another point. When I first saw the book and was reading about it, I was skeptical that I could get into characters who were conjoined twins, but they ended up being my favorite, most memorable characters. So, I learned to read more out of my comfort zone, where the rewards can be unimaginable.



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the excerpt, Kathy. What a remarkable piece of writing!

      Delete
    2. You're welcome, Karen. Here's some more of the opening of it, if you care to read it, but the beginning where Rose talks about their condition is but the tip of the iceberg of this beautiful story. (Scroll down to where it says "What's Inside" and click on "Read More" at the end of the part presented to, well, read more.) https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/lori-lansens/the-girls/9780316066341/

      Delete
  24. Oh, I love it! I am invested in Helen's story already. I can't wait to read more. And I loved revisiting the snippets of description from Christie and George. Brilliant!

    ReplyDelete
  25. OH, I just got it: "What the heck, you only live once." you have Helen thinking. FORESHADOWING!

    ReplyDelete