Wednesday, April 12, 2023

Rediscovering My Mental Soundproof Booth in the Midst of Covid Noise

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Where do you get your ideas? we’re always asked.  How do they grow? 

Well, as the brilliant Juliette Faye explains so eloquently today, sometimes the world gets in the way.

But as writers, we have to embrace it at the same time we have to escape it.

Right?

And that’s not the half of it.

Well, actually, it is.


Rediscovering My Mental Soundproof Booth--

in the Midst of Covid Noise

    by Juliette Fay


At the beginning of the pandemic, I’d go for my daily walk, and neighbors would stop for a quick hello from the opposite side of the street. We’d check in: how’re you doing, how’re you holding up? And often they’d say something along the lines of, “You must be getting so much writing done!”


Writing? I’d think. How on earth would I do that?


Coming up with an idea for a story, inventing characters, building a world for them, “hearing” their voices, setting them on courses of action—or even inaction—takes an enormous amount of concentration.


You have to be able to mentally put yourself in a soundproof booth, away from real life, so you can be immersed in this other life that exists only in your head.


With Covid constantly pounding on the door—Wipe down the mail! Don’t hug anyone! Why did you just cough! Get more toilet paper! Check on Mom! Check again!—I found it impossible even to read for pleasure, much less write. Every writer I talked to felt the same way. We were all far too distracted to get much work done.


And not for nothing, my living situation wasn’t exactly conducive. My attorney husband, who was now working from home and needed a room with a door so he could hold confidential conversations with clients, took over my office. My two youngest sons were home from school, and my adult daughter soon moved back into our fairly small house. She set up camp in the living room with her fulltime-job Zoom calls and occasional yoga sessions. My laptop and I became nomads in constant search of a little corner to temporarily call our own until someone invaded, and we’d have to move again.


As social media constantly attested, many of us were finding new ways to manage our anxiety. There was suddenly a whole lot of bread being baked, musical instruments being dusted off, and rocks being painted. I dove into sewing masks for local hospitals.


But what really kept me on an even keel (or quarantine-even, anyway) was gardening. I’m here to tell you, my yard practically looked like the grounds at Versailles. (Not really, but in my head, yes.) And I couldn’t have cared less who saw me smeared with dirt, digging yet another hole, planting yet another hosta, jigging to whatever song came up next on my Spotify playlist (not coincidentally called Mom’s Playlist, like Helen’s). I was getting through however I could, just like everyone else. 


About midsummer, I started thinking about how the pandemic was not only wreaking unimaginable havoc … but it was also putting us all on pause in some ways that might not be so bad. In my house, with nowhere to go, no white-knuckle commute for my husband, no revolving door of people coming and going as we usually have, there was time to think, to reflect, even. Paradoxically, with so many fewer choices available, I saw my family opting for things that were actually better for them. More exercise, more creativity, less running around for running around’s sake. 



In August 2020, the opening scene of The Half of It popped into my head simply as a woman my age sitting on a bench by a river reflecting on her life.
(The actual bench exists by the Sudbury River that flows through my town).


But of course a writer needs to add conflict, so her self-review is not a happy one; it’s one of regret. There’s some pivotal moment in her past that precipitated a series of wrong turns which led her to this point of admitting that she isn’t really happy and hasn’t been for most of her adult life. It needed some action, of course, so I sent a three-year-old running by to break her out of her navel gazing and force her to do something. 


At first Cal Crosby was just another grandparent who, it turns out, also has regrets. They reveal this to each other as people sometimes do with strangers they never expect to see again. But then a friendship begins, and they form a little playgroup, getting together with their grandchildren, supporting each other to fix what went wrong. 


Boring.



What if … what if this guy was with her at that pivotal moment when things started going south? What if he’s the reason for the regret? Woohoo! Now we’re talking!


I’ve always wanted to write a reunion story: two people separated for whatever reason who serendipitously cross paths years later. It always included a moment where one looks at the other and thinks, So this is how you turned out.


Until August 2020, I’d never come up with a satisfying context in which that would happen. Now I had it, and I started poking around, playing with it, writing notes, possible motivations, secondary characters, whole scenes.


By September, both my younger sons had moved out—one to his own apartment, and the other to a semester in the wilds of Wyoming. My daughter had shifted her “office” into one of their bedrooms.


I had given up resenting the loss of my office, in part because when my husband was on a non-confidential call, he liked to walk around and clean, sweeping the mudroom, unloading the dishwasher, making beds. One day I looked up and he was outside wiping the window next to me with glass cleaner and a rag, talking away into his earpiece. Losing an office and gaining a housekeeper was a tradeoff I was willing to make. 


Covid was still banging on the door of my mental soundproof booth, of course, but it had become a familiar refrain at that point, one that was easier to ignore for a few hours. In fact, as the fall came and the yard went dormant, writing supplanted gardening as my go-to coping skill. 


Being in Helen’s world was the mini vacation I couldn’t have in real life. With nowhere to go, I wrote more than I ever have in my career, sometimes logging as many as four or five thousand words in a day. I completed a full first draft in March 2021, just seven months after I’d started.


What made it really interesting was writing about the future—October 2021—which I hoped and imagined would be post-pandemic. (Boy did I guess wrong. I had to go back later and add in the occasional mask in revisions.) I knew from the beginning that I didn’t want to write about characters social distancing, and my agent confirmed this instinct as soon as I told her about my idea. “Oh, God,” she said. “Don’t write about Covid. We’re all so sick of it!” 


The tricky part was waiting to see if what I hoped—that we’d be semi-normal by October 2021—would come to pass. In early January of that year, with cases spiking and the vaccine rollout slower than expected, I thought I’d have to shift the whole story to spring of 2022. I read the newspaper every day for clues as to what the future would hold, and not, I’m a little ashamed to say, only for the sake of the planet. I had Helen and Cal to worry about. I was on their planet, too, and I wanted them to be safe. 


That’s the funny thing about writers. The world inside that mental soundproof booth? Sometimes it feels very, very real, no matter what’s happening outside.


HANK:  Aw,this is wonderful. And true. Reds and readers, I know you cannot wait to chat about this. And Juliette is giving a copy of THE HALF OF IT to one very lucky commenter!


 



Juliette Fay is the award-winning, bestselling author of six previous novels, including Shelter Me, a Massachusetts Book Award finalist and Indie Next pick, and The Tumbling Turner Sisters, a USA Today bestseller. A graduate of Boston College and Harvard University, she lives in Massachusetts with her family. 



USA Today bestselling author Juliette Fay returns with an emotional story of lost love and the ghosts of our past, perfect for fans of Jodi Picoult and Jojo Moyes. THE HALF OF IT (On sale: April 11, 2023; William Morrow paperbacks | $18.99 ISBN: 9780063235960) is an emotional, introspective novel that begs the questions: Can the past ever really be fixed? And what would you do if you ran into the person who sent your life into a tailspin after forty years apart? 

 

When fifty-eight-year-old Helen Spencer reviews her life, what she sees are the mistakes. Over the years, things seemed to go sideways incrementally, one little wrong decision at a time. She can even pinpoint where it all started to go awry: a wonderous, romantic night in the woods her senior year of high school with a boy named Cal Crosby. A night she works hard to forget. 

 


Four decades, one marriage, three children, and one grandbaby later, suddenly there he is—Cal Crosby!— right in front of her with grandchildren of his own in tow. The chance to finally get some answers and sort out what happened between them is within reach. But Helen would much prefer to keep that night and all the fury, hurt, and sorrow that followed tightly locked away where she doesn’t have to face it. Cal Crosby, however, is ready to talk. He has no idea of the can of worms he’s about to open. In fact, he doesn’t know the half of it. 

 

A warm, poignant, propulsive novel about settling the past, THE HALF OF IT is centered around rekindling lost friendships, coming to terms with hurt, and discovering love when you least expect it. And as a SheReads Best Book Club Pick of 2023, there’s no better choice for your next gathering. 

 

 Juliette Fay is the award-winning, bestselling author of six previous novels, including Shelter Me, a Massachusetts Book Award finalist and Indie Next pick, and The Tumbling Turner Sisters, a USA Today bestseller. A graduate of Boston College and Harvard University, she lives in Massachusetts with her family. 

82 comments:

  1. Congratulations on your new book, Juliette . . . I’m looking forward to finding out just how things work out for Helen . . . .
    I can appreciate how the world you’ve created seems so real . . . sometimes the world inside that book seems very real to readers, too . . . .

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    1. Thanks, Joan. I hope it's real to readers - that's what makes it fun, right?

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    2. Yes, exactly! That's what we strive for..

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  2. I also love reunion stories, Juliette, and I think The Half of It is one I will really enjoy. I like that the main character is older, a grandmother. I can identify with that. I can't wait to find out about that night in the woods with Cal Crosby. I'm glad that you were able to break through the fog and run with this great story idea.

    I have to say that it sounds like you handled you crowded home situation during Covid very well. I think we all were too distracted and worried to focus on reading or writing much, especially in the beginning of staying in. It was a perfect time to read, but my mind couldn't do it. And, no one thought it would last so long. I know that it still is a concern, but being vaccinated gives me some comfort when I go out now. I sometimes feel like my life was on pause for three years because I'm just now getting back to doing some of the activities I did pre-Covid. Kudos to you for achieving the writing of a book during our cloistered time.

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    1. Thanks, Kathy. As bad as it was, it was strangely helpful to my writing, once that early phase of panic subsided a little. I feel better being vaccinated, too!

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    2. OH, sometimes I hope we never forget those truly disturbing first days-week-years. It was such a lesson...

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  3. I was just talking to a friend the other day about getting into our 60’s and regrets. I love this is based on older characters.

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    1. There aren't many protagonists in their 50s and 60s - which is weird because we're fascinating!

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    2. SO agree! In my very first book, I had made the main character 55--and I was told by my agent: ABSOLUTELY NOT. SO happy that times, maybe, have changed!

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  4. We have neighbors in the same boat as you were toward the beginning of covid. One day there were two cars in the driveway, then all of a sudden there were 5 (one in the street). Slowly, they seem to have jettisoned one car but still, their cozy little blended family home (his and hers) seems to be going strong. I'm looking forward to reading your book - reunions are fun.

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    1. We had 4 cars in the driveway! Now we're back to two ... althought that revolving door is still there until they're all fully launched.

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  5. I'm glad you were able to get back to writing, and that a story came to you, one I'm looking forward to reading.

    I'm one of the few authors who did not stop writing for a while during lockdown. Nobody moved back in and, except for my self-employed partner who was suddenly home all the time, and except for not being able to see and hug loved ones (and except for all the worry), my life didn't change that much. I found writing fiction a huge respite from the scary, messy world we were all in, and I was super productive all the way through.

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    1. Lucky you! I was totally put off from it for a while.

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    2. So glad you were able to keep writing, Edith. I also found not hugging difficult. I'm a big hugger!

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  6. Juliette, the book sounds delicious. I love the idea of an unexpected reunion. I have had a couple of those over the course of my life and they have shaken me to my toes. Sometimes, things that happen when we are teens, color our lives forever. This is a great topic.

    As for the pandemic, I have become a total bookworm. I am putting THE HALF OF IT on my TBR must read list.

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    1. Thanks, Judy! I hope you'll enjoy it!

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    2. You are SO right! An old beau--I mean, from 50 years ago--cmen to one of my signings. I almost burst into tears.

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  7. I'm happy to meet you and your new book here, Juliette. And I love your essay that explains so well how a germ of a thought lands in the mind of a writer and then, over time, grows into an idea that evolves into a book (with a lot of hard writing work). It's the perfect answer to the question about where ideas come from.

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    1. Thanks, Amanda! It's fun for me to hear where other authors get their ideas, too!

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    2. It's so random and unexpected, isn't it? One moment, you have no idea. and the next--poof! A story.

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  8. Welcome Juliette, this sounds like a wonderful book! I love the description of your housecleaning husband!

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    1. Unfortunately, he's gone back to his office in Boston, so I've lost my housekeeper!

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    2. My husband’s company decided that since his group members are located all over the US, he can now work from home permanently, I cook no more! He commuted for 90 minutes to get to the corporate office, yet most contacts were remote before Covid. He was already an expert on Zoom and Teams.

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  9. Congratulations to Juliette on her new book. This sounds like a wonderful story! I love the idea of paths recrossing after so many years. I've been a Juliette Faye fan since Deep Down True. Such a wonderful writer. I have The Tumbling Turner Sisters and the sequel, City of Flickering Light. Terrific, both of them!

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    1. That's so nice to hear, Elizabeth - thank you! I hope you'll like The Half of it just as much.

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  10. Congratulations Juliette! I totally shared that inability to be productive due to pandemic anxiety early in 2020. It improved for me after a few months, once we learned that masks could help protect us and I was able to meet friends for walks. I re-read books on my shelves, which I found very comforting. I loved your description of your husband cleaning and talking to clients at the same time! I look forward to meeting Helen and finding out what happens.

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    1. I hope you'll enjoy it, Gillian!

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    2. Yes, that process was so gradual...and different for each of us.

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  11. No wonder you were so distracted! It’s crazy how unsettled we can feel and how major of an impact it can have in our lives.

    The book sounds wonderful. I love when literature focuses on loss and the what-ifs in life. Who doesn’t love second chances?

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  12. Juliette, congratulations! I love the way your book progressed from a single image and thought. You're a new-to-me writer and I look forward to discovering Helen's and Cal's story.

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    1. Yes, it's like dropping a pebble in a pond...and oh, the ripples of that idea spread quickly. That's how you know you have a good idea!

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    2. Thanks, Flora!

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  13. Your book sounds intriguing as does the process of its creation. So many of us had our lives turned irrevocably upside down by the Covid experience, and I think, as a society, we haven't acknowledged the half of it. I'm eager to read your book and see how the long ago conflict is resolved.

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    1. Completely agree. Things we took for granted are no longer, each decision is different, and so many people have turned completely selfish. Or maybe--allowed themselves to be so. On the other hand, it was such a chance to grow.

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  14. THE HALF OF IT sounds like a great story! I can hardly wait to read it. Your pandemic memories brought my own memories of the time, and how it felt, rushing back. Your house sounds like it was much more crowded than mine, though. Kudos to you for getting through it so productively.

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    1. Yes, it's important to remember, don't you think?

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    2. It was pretty nutty, Susan!

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  15. Juliette - love your comparison of the writing process as being in a soundproof booth... how one idea leads to another, the not-so-good one leading to the this-will-work one and then the wonderful moments when we surprise ourselves..

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    1. Agree! What we hope for every dau. But you can; MAKE it happen. YOu just have to allow it.

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    2. There are so many not-so-good ideas that lead to better ones, Hallie. Sometimes I just have to be patient, which is not always easy!

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  16. I know so many real life stories about reunited couples after decades, some of them almost sound like fairy tales. It's one of my favorite life-affirming stories, and I'm sure I'll enjoy reading Cal's and Helen's.

    Before Covid I was already a gardener, but lockdown accelerated my gardening to a new level. Not Versailles-level, but we are now seeing the fruits of our backbreaking labor. It was an excellent outlet!

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    1. Gardening was my sanity saver, Karen! And now it's spring here in the Boston area, and I can't wait to see what comes up. All that work is like a present you open next year!

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    2. Exactly! Our tulips are just...thinking about it.

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  17. "A night she works hard to forget" - pulled me right in. I'd love to read what choices she makes. Thank you for the chance to win!

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  18. Congratulations on the book, Juliette. I know so many people who made adjustments to their lives during Covid, but those adjustments weren't always for the worst.

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    1. That is such a wonderful observation--so much good came out of the really unimaginably terrible. And really, did any of us predict that?

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    2. So true - it was completely awful in so many ways, but there were little bright spots, and hopefully we've held onto some of the better ones.

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  19. I work in a home healthcare office, so I went to my office, everyday during the pandemic. Everyone else rotated in and out, working from home for a couple days and then in the office. I should point out that I don't see patients, I schedule new patients into existing schedules. My biggest jiggle was being able to shop safely after work.

    Your new book sounds intriguing. Looking and back and wondering what would of happen if one turned the other way when a corner was reached. Yes, this a book I should seek.

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    1. Oh, you are so tough and wonderful.. and you helped so many people! xx

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  20. I've always been fascinated by the domino effect - how one seemingly inconsequential decision can lead to ripples that reverberate down through the years. I hope you'll enjoy it, Deana!

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  21. All those anonymous responses are me! I didn't realize that after I put my name and URL in the first time that I'd have to do it every time. Sorry about that!

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    1. We figured out who you were! (ANd yes, blogger is SO annoying!) Thank you so much--this is absolutely great! I love reading everyone's comments.

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  22. Diane Bergner, here. Congratulations, Juliette. I look forward to reading this. I'm so glad you stuck to your guns with having an older heroine. It looks like it served you well, too. I agreed with my editor to make her and her friends a little bit younger -- forty something -- but not too young thank goodness! So many novels are about twenty and thirty something year olds - while many, many readers are in the their forties, fifties, sixties, and beyond. We need more older heroines! My next novel the heroine will be at least five years older, and so will her friends!
    Diane

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    1. The struggle is real, Diane! Apparently protags in their 20s, 30s, & 40s are okay, and then we jump to 70s, 80s and 90s. But what about us? We're pretty exciting, too, I think!

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  23. Add me to the list of readers who likes to see protagonists in my age group - although I will confess that when I read novels in my 30s, people in their sixties seemed SO OLD. Sigh. But the truth is, it's an incredibly rich period of life, especially for women who may be freed from full-time mothering for the first time in decades.

    And may I just say, I swooned a little at your lawyer husband washing the window while talking on his handsfree. That man is a real keeper!

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    1. Oh, he has his moments of driving me nuts, like all husbands, but yeah, I'm hanging onto this one. :)

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  24. Juliette, what a wonderful essay. I find it comforting to know that someone else struggled to write during the early part of the pandemic. I could not tamp down the worry enough to get inside my story, but it was such a relief when I finally managed.

    I love that your characters are older, and I can't wait to read Helen and Cal's story! Congratulations on the book!

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    1. I honestly don't know any writers who could write in those first few months, and I've asked everyone I know, so you're definitely not alone, Deborah!

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  25. I'm so sorry to hear about your pandemic losses and struggles, Triss. It really was so awful, and I don't mean to make light of it in any way. I'm glad my sentiments make you feel understood - that's what we all need, isn't it?

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  26. I can't wait to read The Half of It. Is Cal totally oblivious of the effect "that night" had on Helen? Men can be so incredibly dense! But then they can also pick up the pieces in their own unique ways so I guess we have to keep them.

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  27. No, he's definitely not oblivious. In fact he's the one who wants to talk about it, and she avoids him at first, not wanting to open old wounds. He's brave ... until he hears her side of it.

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  28. Sounds like a great story. Would really enjoy reading the book.

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  29. Juliette: "...when my husband was on a non-confidential call, he liked to walk around and clean, sweeping the mudroom, unloading the dishwasher, making beds. One day I looked up and he was outside wiping the window next to me with glass cleaner and a rag, talking away into his earpiece. Losing an office and gaining a housekeeper was a tradeoff I was willing to make."

    OMG!! Can we trade husbands!

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  30. Juliette, your book sounds so luscious-like I could truly lose myself in it, while identifying with at least one (if not more) character(s) at the same time. And I must admit, I have not run across an author with my same given name and spelling! From one Juliette to another, your book sounds wonderful!

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    1. Realized I never signed in, from Juliette (Julie) Brinkley fiveonthebrink 😉

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  31. Your book sounds great and unique using older characters Congrats 🎉

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  32. This book sounds so interesting. I’ve often wondered “what if” about a few people from younger days.

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  33. Congratulations on your book. I loved reading about how the story came to be and the cover is gorgeous!!! It’s funny how the little ideas bubble in our minds until they are a big idea.

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  34. Congratulations on The Half of it which sounds captivating and memorable. I have read your books which are unforgettable and very special treasures.

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  35. Congratulations! The Half of it would be an enjoyable novel to savor. I have read Juliette Fay's books and they are all wonderful. Since I am old I applaud using older characters.

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