JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: It's that time of year when we welcome peoples from all over the US and abroad to Vacationland, i.e., Maine. (If you're planning on visiting, please ignore what I said Monday about it being a cold summer. It's perfect.) We genuinely like to see folks traveling here, loving the same landscape and waters we love, and, to be perfectly honest? we need your money.
(Separate note: we especially love our neighbors from the North, but we understand and empathize with your reasons for not visiting this year.)
However! Having lived for close to four decades in a tourist destination (and for four years in DC before that) I have some dos and don'ts for you that will make the difference between Mainers saying to each other, "Gosh, weren't those nice folks?" and slashing your tires when they see your out-of-state license plates (Ha! Ha! No, we only did that during the early days of Covid.)
Don't feed the sea gulls. Yes, I know they seem beautiful and graceful and that you read Jonathan Livingston Seagull when you were 12. They're rats. Aggressive, feathered rats.
Do merge a half-mile (at least) before the actual merge point. We see you, with your out-of-state plates, zooming past all the Mainers who got into the right lane as soon as they saw the MERGE sign. We are judging the heck out of you.
Don't wear jewelry on the beach. This isn't the Jersey Shore.
Do park in the appropriate spot. Yes, you may have to walk a little farther. But it's probably a lot less expensive than it is where you come from, and trust me, the local cops or sheriff's deputies will be wicked keen to have you towed out of Skip Tarbox's driveway.
Don't try to imitate a Maine accent. Please. I beg you. There are third and fourth generation Mainers who can't do the accent. Neither can you.
Do wear the lobster bib. Yes, it's silly. But that delicious treat is messy, and you don't want to have butter stains sitting on your shirt until you get back home.
Don't show up dressed head to toe in brand new LL Bean clothing. Beat up old LL Bean clothing is acceptable, as is one new item with the rest of your outfit suitably worn, verging on shabby. See: not the Jersey Shore, above.
Do ask how to crack the lobster. The locals next to you are willing to help! We love introducing visitors to our iconic dish.
Don't get to close to the sea in rough weather. We have some lovely sandy beaches. We have a lot more stony, granite-boulder stretches that can be genuinely dangerous under certain conditions. If you see a warning sign, yes, this does mean you.
Do shop like the locals, at Reny's and Mardens. Reny's is "out" as a Maine staple, and you'll actually see people in New York and DC wearing their labeled gear. There are no labels at Mardens, but it has wicked great bargains and a jingle everyone in Maine can sing.
Don't drink and boat. Do you want to come home tired and happy from your vacation? Or do you want to come home in a box? Those lakes are deeper and much colder than you think.
Likewise, Do be aware the ocean is friggin' cold. The Gulf Stream, which makes the Jersey Shore so warm and delightful, is way the heck off the continental slope up here. The average water temperature in August is 61° to 64° (16° to 17°.)
Don't amble across Route One. Like, you don't have to run, but be as brisk as possible. We're trying to get places, people.
Do visit some out of the ordinary locations. Maine is more than the ten mile strip along the Atlantic. Check out a concert in Bangor, or the slow pace in the Lakes Region, or the charming towns near the southern NH border, like Cornish and Fryeburg.
Don't think you can get ahead on Route One by speeding and passing. It's a two lane road, bub. Cool your jets.
Do wear sunscreen! The sun can also kill you, though not as quickly as being foolish around water.
Don't write articles about how quaint and idyllic our life is. There's a whole genre of newspaper commentors who come to Maine and then produce lovely, poetic paeans to the peaceful, authentic way of life and how noble and wise the natives are. Yes, our state motto is "The Way Life Should Be." But it's idyllic because you're on vacation, bub. Come to my house in January and you'll sing a different friggin' tune.
How about you, dear readers? Any suggestions for when we visit your neck of the woods?
Hehehe . . . what great suggestions, Julia!
ReplyDeleteAny suggestions for visitors coming here? Well, I think you've covered it pretty well since here is the Jersey Shore . . . .
Must say though--I grew up on the Jersey shore every summer. We never ever wore jewelry at the beach:)
DeleteYes, I have lived in Ottawa's historic ByWard Market since 2014. It is a popular tourist destination, especially in the summer. There were tens of thousands of visitors in our 'hood during the July 1 Canada Day holiday/long weekend.
ReplyDeleteHere are a few more dos and don'ts to enjoy Ottawa-Gatineau & not annoy the locals.
1. DON'T be a jerk while using the mutli-use pathways!
We have 100 kms of multi-use scenic pathways along the Rideau Canal/rivers. Unlike other cities, there are not separate lanes/markers for runners/walkers vs cyclists & roller bladers so please by nice when sharing the space, especially when passing.
2. DO follow the different driving rules in Ottawa (Ontario) vs Gatineau (Quebec).
We are located right on the Ontario-Quebec border. Many visitors don't know there are different driving rules in Ottawa (Ontario) vs Gatineau (Quebec). For example, drivers CANNOT turn right on a red light in Quebec but you CAN do so in Ontario.
As a non-driver & pedestrian, I see so many close calls every day.
3. DO respect queues
We generally line up and patiently wait to get into stores, restaurants, museums, especially on busy holidays.
4. DON'T drink in municipal parks
Enjoy a nice picnic or BBQ but don't bring or drink alcohol.
P.S. Ottawa just passed a new bylaw last week that allows drinking in 8 designated parks as a pilot project. None of them are in the ByWard Market.
5. DON"T make fun of our Canadian currency
The colourful polymer $5, $10, $20, $50 and $100 bank notes are Canada's legal currency.
They are not Monopoly money. Yes, our $1 loonie and $2 toonie coins are heavy.
Canada got rid of the penny in 2012, so we round up/down the price to the nearest 5 cents when you pay in cash. Don't complain.
This is spot on! I said, as I'm on my way to your neck of the woods to enjoy a not-so-quiet fourth. Here my request/rule is: Don't set fires in the woods. Please. We have our own lightning which is bad enough. And leash your dog on public paths and trails.
ReplyDeleteI love these, Julia! If people come to my general area, don't forget to come to Amesbury. We have a lovely downtown with a river and a waterfall that run through it. We have a great former rail trail to walk on, and so much history.
ReplyDeleteAs in Halley's area, leash and curb your dog. We have no dog parks in my town. And take your trash with you from any of our Parks!
Hallie, not Halley.
DeleteAlso, please do not throw your litter on city sidewalks! We are lucky that downtown Ottawa provides large garbage/recycling bins on every other city block.
DeleteI had to carry my personal trash with me while in Singapore, Taiwan (and Japan). They don't provide public garbage bins for security reasons.
Maine (and New England in general) is on my bucket list. I can't believe I still haven't gotten there!
ReplyDeleteBern is also full of tourists (currently sweating in almost 90-degree temperatures and probably wondering where all the snow is!), and we try to be very patient with ours, but they like to walk very slowly down the middle of the road in the Old City. Just because the streets are cobblestoned doesn't mean they are sidewalks! No seagulls here in landlocked Switzerland, Julia, but I'll happily apply your rule about seagulls to our city pigeons, who are also feathered rats, if not so aggressive. I'm particularly aware of American tourists and what I beg of them is to keep their voices down. So many of them get on buses or trains and bellow across the aisles to each other; they shout back and forth in restaurants, making the Italian tourists seem as quiet as mice. It's as if they aren't aware that other people are all around them, living their own lives and trying to have quiet conversations, read a book, or (in the train) nap. Do any of you understand this behavior? Perhaps it's simply that people don't feel the need to be courteous when they're on vacation, but I honestly believe there's something distinctly American about the loudness. I'd like to understand it better.
ReplyDeleteI agree about the loud American issue. My husband and I just spent 3 weeks in Denmark with our youngest son and family. I begged my husband (who’s a very loud speaker) to tone it down. The Danes are quiet people and while most everyone was very friendly and helpful I did notice that we stood out sometimes because of our loudness.
DeleteI can’t explain it, but you reminded me of when we were visiting Sydney in 2004. Lipton Iced Tea was running an ad campaign that among other things promised that it was “as refreshing as a quiet American.”
DeleteI live in Florida, the land of the weird, from the governor's office on down. Worse, I live on the Florida Panhandle, a.k.a MAGA-Central. For me there is only one rule: DO try not to cry. Consider it a penance.
ReplyDeleteI know, it's really sad right now Jerry:(
DeleteDo not stop abruptly to gawk up a tall building because there are people walking behind you trying to get to work or an appointment.
ReplyDeleteDo not talk in threes - sidewalk can accommodate two people walking side by side
Do not stop in the middle of traffic to gawk at whatever because the cars will hit you
Do ask for directions - NYers are helpful to get you to your location
I live in Lake Placid, another tourist destination. No one in Lake Placid visits Main Street during the height of the summer or winter season, due to tourists and zero parking. This means we can't visit our independent bookstore or tiny library without pain. However, you, staying in town, should flock to Main Street and spend your money.
ReplyDeletePlease, if you come for the Ironman with your bike that cost more than most of the locals make in six months, DO NOT RIDE IN THE CENTER OF THE LANE. All our main roads are twisty 55 mph highways, most of them no passing zones, and it is maddening to wait behind a rich entitled bicyclist. Or a pack of them. Every year I worry there will be a death due to road rage.
Please, if you come to hike our beautiful mountains in the summer, choose a peak off the beaten path. I am grateful I hiked all the mountains around my home forty years ago. These days in the height of the season they each see 500 hikers a day. Authorities have had to arrange shuttle buses to the base of the trails.
Please, if you come to hike our beautiful mountains in the shoulder seasons (spring: May to early June; fall, September to early November) be prepared for the possibility of snow. I had an outdoor wedding September 8, 1984, and had beautiful Indian Summer weather. My best friend married exactly a year later and had 38°, lashing winds, and freezing rain. All our kids wear Halloween costumes that fit over snowsuits. Our Forest Service rangers are constantly rescuing hikers from away who don't understand how mountain weather can turn on a dime. Due to cell phones, fewer die, but the danger persists. ALWAYS CARRY A LIGHTER AND EXTRA CLOTHES including a wool hat, wool socks, and an anorak.
Please, if you come to hike our beautiful mountains in the winter, come not only prepared with supplies but NEVER HIKE ALONE. There was a tragic death of an experienced young hiker in November when we had an unexpected snowfall that amounted to four feet at higher elevations. The rescue attempt involved dozens of people and went on for days in whiteout conditions before it was finally called off. His body was discovered just off the trail this spring.
Finally, please, if you come to visit, do not buy a second home here and turn it into an AirBnb. Airbnb has nearly destroyed our town. Our local businesses, for labor, and schools, for students, are in trouble. You will find that these days most of our hotels are staffed by foreign students here on J-1 visas and housed by the hotels themselves. Other local businesses have had to suspend services.
(Selden)
Gee, I'm sorry I rambled on so long! I had not realized. (Selden)
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